Splintered Memory (39 page)

“Matt, I came here tonight to make the peace with Emily. I’ve been coming by every day since I’ve been back home trying to get her to talk to me, but today’s the first
day that we’ve actually talked. Well today’s the first day that she’s actually let me in,” Charlie said trying to maintain a steady level in her voice as another pain tore through her stomach.

“Talked about
what?” He asked.

“How good you are in bed
,” Charlie said lightly before winking at the pair of them and then laughing at the looks on both of their faces.

They might be uncomfortable with her humour she thought, but she needed something to distract herself from the pain in her stomach. It was getting much worse.

“We were friends before my accident, and I want to be her friend again now. I asked, and after a couple of hours of chatting I think she’s just agreed,” Charlie said answering his question more seriously but also smiling at Emily.

“You want to be friends with the woman I replaced you with
?” He asked her quietly, clearly not meaning for Emily to hear him.

“I can hear you
,” Emily said; “and I’d hardly say replaced. I was never more than a substitution,” she added and in spite of herself she smiled and so did Matt.

“See this can work. Awkward for a while inevitably,
” Charlie said; “but we’ll all get over it.”

“Is this what you want
?” Matt asked Charlie putting his hand on her leg, and she nodded. “And you’re okay with this?” He asked Emily, and Charlie felt her heart swell with pride that he’d shown an interest in Emily’s feelings too. She also saw that it had meant a lot to Emily, who she saw was now nodding and smiling and had tears in her eyes.

“Hug her
,” she whispered in his ear.

He looked at her like she’d gone mad, but after she tilted her head towards Emily and looked at him meaningfully he got up and hugged her.

“Can I use your bathroom?” Charlie asked Emily.

“Sur
e,” Emily said still hugging Matt more tightly than Charlie felt completely comfortable with.

Matt looked at her guilty as she got up
and she smiled at him, and she was pleased to see that by doing so she’d managed to alleviate some of the guilt that had been showing in his face.

Sh
e reached the bathroom with just enough time to close the door before another pain tore through her stomach. She felt her knees buckle underneath her, and she sat on the floor and kept her eyes shut until the pain passed. Yet when she opened her eyes she saw that blood was visible through her light blue jeans. She watched as it slowly spread down the insides of her thighs, and she now knew what had been causing her pain. She was having a miscarriage.

“Emily
!” Charlie called out.

“Charlie?”
Matt called through the door. “Let me in.”

“M
att,” Charlie said sounding in pain; “I want Emily.”

Emily looked at Matt who was blocking the door. She waited patiently for him to move, but when he didn’t she touched his hand which was holding onto the door handle.

“Do you want me to come in now?” She asked, and Matt looked at her and then back to the door.

“That depends
,” Charlie said. But it sounded like she was crying.

Matt put his head against the door. Yet even with just the dim light that was coming into the bedroom from the living room, Emily could see that there were tears in his eyes. It wasn’t hard for either of them to have guessed the most likely cause of Charlie’s disappearance to the bathroom, or her terrified shout for help.

“Oh yeah,” she said confidently; “on what?”

“Are we really friends, or were you just saying that to pacify me before
?” Charlie asked.

“Yes
Charlie, we’re really friends,” she said. She then waited for a few seconds before asking; “are you going to let me in?”

Charlie didn’t reply
, but she did open the door a fraction of an inch. Emily opened it a little more, and then she squeezed around it went into her bathroom. Once she was inside Charlie leant back against the door shutting it, knowing that Matt was on the other side.

“Okay
,” Emily said calmly as she saw the blood on Charlie’s jeans and she bent down beside her. “I need to...” but she didn’t finish saying what she was going to say because Charlie put her finger to her own lips. She then shook her head before pointing to the door.

Emily understood what she was trying to say. She knew that Charlie didn’t want Matt to hear.

She nodded to so show that she understood and she gently lifted up Charlie’s jumper, but as she touched Charlie’s stomach lightly Charlie cried out in pain. Charlie slapped her hand over her mouth, and she was obviously angry with herself for crying out.

“Charlie!” Matt called anxiously again from the other side of the door.

Emily looked at Charlie’s tear stained face and she could feel tears in her own eyes. “Charlie,” she began to say but she couldn’t speak. There was a lump in her throat.

Charlie began to cry in earnest, and Emily sat down on the floor beside her and put her arm
around her shoulders. She put her arm around the women that she had for many months believed that she’d hated. Yet in this moment the past was forgotten. Here and now, her friend was scared and in pain. She’d just lost her baby.

She pressed Charlie’s shoulder against her, and she felt Charlie rest her head down upon her shoulder. Emily slowly shuffled them both forward a little on the floor so that they were no longer barricading the door, and then she lifted up her left hand to open the door to let Matt in.

As he came into the room he looked instantly at the blood on Charlie’s jeans, and then to Emily who shook her head at him. The tears that had been in his eyes outside the bathroom now flowed freely down his face, and he roughly pushed them off his cheeks as he squatted down in front of Charlie.

He waited for her to look at him, and Emily felt the weight of Charlie’s head lift off her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said to Matt.

“It’s not your fault
,” Matt said as Emily watched him stroke her face and push away her falling tears with his thumbs. It was the same gesture that he’d once done for her.

He sat down on the other side of Charlie and he pulled her to him, pressing her head gen
tly against his chest as he did. Emily got up off the floor and went to leave the room. There was no need for her to be here. Here she was just an intruder upon their grief.

“Emily
,” Matt said as he saw her get up. She turned to look at him. “You’d better call the hospital and tell them we’ll be coming over.”

She nodded silently, and Matt rested his cheek on Charlie’s head and cradled her to him.

Emily continued to watch Matt and Charlie, unable to look away from them, and she realised that he’d never felt that way about her. She knew that she couldn’t keep blaming Matt or Charlie for the way that things had turned out. She’d gone after someone that had always belonged to someone else. She’d brought the pain and heartache that she’d suffered on herself, and there was no one else that she could blame for that.

“Matthew
, where are you going?” His mum asked him, and he rolled his eyes.

He found it hard to believe that at thirty three
, he was still expected to explain to his mum where he was going.

“Where do you think I’m going
?” He asked her irritably.

“Well I hope it’s not to see Charlie. You know it’s bad luck
,” she said.

“We’ve had all the bad luck that we could ever possibly have
,” he said walking out of the kitchen.

“Don’t be long
,” his mother called as he shut the door behind him.

Bad luck he thought
, shaking his head as he walked out into the street. He’d nearly lost his wife. He’d lost a baby that he hadn’t known about. The love of his life hadn’t been able to remember anything about their life, and then after a catalogue of errors and misjudgements by their friends he and Charlie been kept apart. Finally, just when everything had seemed to be back on track Charlie had miscarried.

He laughed into the dark. That had to be their lot he thought, neither one of them could possibly have done anything so bad as to have earned anymore bad karma.

“What you laughing at weirdo?” Rich asked him from across the street where he was stood outside his parent’s house smoking a cigarette.

“Life
,” Matt said.

“I’m glad you can laugh about it
,” Rich said.

“Onwards and upwards mate. It’s all about the future
,” Matt said.

“Where you headed
?” Rich asked.

“Claire’s
,” Matt answered.

“I’ll come with
you. Bex is over there and my folks are getting on my nerves,” Rich said.

The two of them walked
along in silence until they reached Claire’s parent’s house, but as Rich headed towards the front door Matt walked round to the back.

“I think we’re
probably old enough now,” Rich said to him; “not to have to sneak into Claire’s bedroom window at night.”

“Yeah, but then where’s the surprise in that?” Matt asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

Matt had regretted his decision to make a romantic gesture about five seconds after starting to climb the tree, and he wondered when he’d gotten so old and uncoordinated.

“You’re not helping
,” Matt said tersely to Rich who was pushing him from behind.

“Well you’re taking too bloody long,
” Rich said; “and I keep slipping.”

“Why are you climbing up anyway
?” Matt asked.

“I can’t be out done on the old romantic gesture front
,” he said. To which Matt rolled his eyes.

“It’s not actually that romantic to watch two middle age men haul themselves up a tree
,” Claire said from her window making all the girls laugh.

“Shit
,” Matt and Rich said in unison.

Matt walked along the last part of the branch and arrived at Claire’s window.

“Can I help you?” Charlie asked smiling cheekily at him.

“Maybe
,” he said returning her smile; “I’m looking for a girl I used to know.”

“Hmm, a girl you used to know. Did she live here, and does she have a name
?” She asked.

“No she didn’t live here, but ye
ah she has a name. When I first knew her she went as Young. Charlotte Young,” he said; “but I heard she married some guy and changed her surname to Grayson.”

“Shocking
,” Charlie said smiling at him again and Matt felt his heart skip a beat.

“I know
,” he said trying to control his smile and his heart beat. He was embarrassed that she or one of the others might be able to hear it, given that it was thumping loudly inside his chest.

“This
Charlotte, was she pretty?” Charlie asked innocently.

“Beautiful. She was by far the best looking girl in Cheddar,
” Matt said; “back in the day anyway. But in fairness she could be properly ugly now. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her,” he added laughing.

“Really
,” she said trying to contain a smile.

“We done
?” He asked cheekily, and she nodded and threw her arms around his neck as he kissed her.

“Aaah
,” all the girls in Claire’s bedroom said.

Matt could feel the intensity in Charlie’s kiss. She was teasing him to want to take it further, even though she knew that he was trying to balance on a tree branch. He smiled to himself and reluctantly pulled away. 

“Spoilsport,” she said smiling at him seductively.

“Don’t
,” he said kissing her tenderly again and stroking her face.

“Don’t what
?” She asked sweetly as she pulled him back for another increasingly passionate kiss.

“Is it my go yet?” Rich asked from behind Matt.

Charlie pulled back from Matt’s face and winked at him. She then moved a little way across the window ledge and leant forward towards Rich. She smiled at him and tilted her head slightly, but just as he was about to kiss her she moved and said; “sorry, the kissing booth’s shut for the night.”

Matt laughed as Rich said; “tease!”

As Charlie went to reply, Rich, or Matt, or Matt then Rich, lost their balance, and in a split second where everyone tried to grab Rich’s arms he fell from the branch. Everyone heard a loud thud and saw as he hit the ground below.

“Rich
!” Everyone cried.

Matt shot down the tree, and Claire and Charlie both came down right behind him. Bex looked down from the window
, and she was clearly panic stricken.