Spurs & Stilettos (21 page)

Chapter 26

It’s been three weeks since Wesley’s been home. Wesley tries to treat me like I am made of glass. I assure him that I’m just pregnant, I’m fine. He’s the one whose body is trying to heal. Slowly but surely, he begins to venture outside and the first thing he wants to do is see Bandit. Seeing the two of them together made my heart soar even if Wesley is still in a cast.

I miss my job but I can’t imagine being anywhere else but with him. He gets frustrated a lot because he can hardly do anything. He had a few x-rays taken at his appointment yesterday where the doctor assured him he’s healing just fine. As long as he takes it easy, he should be good to go in another three weeks.

Wesley stands up and smiles as he walks outside. I just finished washing up a few dishes from breakfast. I’ve never been one to like to cook and do domesticated things but here it just feels natural to me. I dry my hands on the towel beside me and walk outside to meet him. He’s attempting to climb on his riding lawnmower and stops when he sees me frowning with my arms crossed over my chest. I don’t care that he’s wearing his straw cowboy hat that I’m so fond of.

“What do you think you’re doing Wesley?” I’m still frowning and he flashes the sexiest smile he can come up with.

“I’m cutting the grass sweetheart, it needs to be done.”

I begin walking towards him glaring to show him I mean business. “You cowboy, are stubborn. I can do it.”

“Oh yeah?” he grins. “You’ve been on one of these before?”

Actually I haven’t but I don’t let him know that. “I have, so step aside. Go sit on the porch. You need to rest.”

“Give me a kiss and I’ll listen. Are you sure it’s safe for you?”

“Wes, its fine. I’m pregnant not decrepit and it’s still cool out, so let me do this.”

He steps forward leaning in for that kiss he wants. I wrap my arms around his neck and gaze into his green eyes as I meet his lips. I moan loving every minute of it. As our tongues meet, I let myself fall a little more under this spell. I still haven’t given him an answer on the question he asked me three weeks ago. He hasn’t really brought it back up either. I feel horrible for blowing it off and I really need to talk to him about it to make sure it’s not just because I’m pregnant. I’m still craving more when he pulls away and I’m breathless.

“I’m going to sit right over here I promise. You sure you know what you’re doing?”

“I’m sure, go sit.” I laugh playfully pushing him away after I lean in and plant a quick kiss on his lips.

Before he walks away, he takes the straw hat off his head and places it on mine. I smile wondering just how ridiculous it looks on me. I sit on the riding mower and stare for a minute. I catch him looking at me rather amused so I wave to play it off. After staring for a minute, I finally see the key to start it. The engine roars to life scaring the hell out of me. I place my foot on the brake as I place the gear into drive. I remove my foot a little too fast and the lawn mower takes off a little too quickly for me. I let out a scream, briefly terrified trying to figure out how to stop this thing. My nerves overtake me and I can’t get my foot on the brake fast enough. The lawn mower screeches to a halt and I immediately turn the key off trying to catch my breath. Yeah, he can cut this himself.

I feel like I just had a mini heart attack. I’m still trying to catch my breath when I hear Wesley run up to me. “Hope, are you ok? You said you knew what you were doing!”

I offer a weak smile and his shock slowly fades, “I wanted to help you, I’m sorry. I don’t want to cut grass anymore.”

He laughs as he helps me down. I feel a lot safer once my feet are on the ground again. “Sweetheart, that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but you scared the hell out of me.”

“Scared you? I was terrified up there!” I laugh now that it is over.

His hand brushes my cheek and all the familiar feelings that come with Wesley emerge. “You looked sexy as hell up there, especially with my hat on.” I’m immediately turned on by his comment. I’ve been too scared to try and have sex with him since his accident. I didn’t want to hurt his ribs or his arm. Making out is great, I love it but I miss making love to him.

My eyes fill with desire that I couldn’t hide, even if I try to. He notices them and leans into my ear whispering, “Let’s go inside Hope.” All I can do is nod. I can’t get any words out.

The minute we hit the door, he pushes me against the wall crashing his lips on mine. I’m aching to touch him, aching to feel him. A moan escapes my mouth as he moves his lips to my neck and kisses a trail down to my collarbone. My hand rests against his back pushing him closer to me. He lets out a small groan and I immediately pull away.

“Oh my god, I hurt you. I’m sorry, I,-- this is my fault.” My hand is over my mouth as I watch him wince in pain.

“Nothing is your fault. I hate this, I want you so bad Hope.” He’s able to smile which tells me the pain has subsided. I’m relieved, I hate to think that I accidentally hurt him.

I grab his hand and lead him into the bedroom. He quietly follows and sits on the bed beside me. I kiss him again, picking up where we left off. I want him so bad and I will have him somehow. I lean into him slowly pushing him to lie back on the bed. His back rests against the mattress and I slowly pull my legs over to straddle him.

“Does this hurt?” I ask carefully scared to fully put weight on him.

“No, you’re fine baby.” He answers closing his eyes as I lean down to kiss his chest. A small moan escapes from him and I smile in satisfaction. This almost reminds me of that time he wouldn’t let me touch him. He only has one arm and he’s restricted so I hold all the cards right now. I like being in control, it makes me feel very powerful.

I tuck my hair behind my ear as I sit up and look at him with hooded eyes. I slide down slowly and torturously begin to unbutton his jeans. He lifts up enough for me to be able to remove them and I toss them to the floor with a thud. I take the opportunity to remove my own and they land right beside his. Wesley pants, staring at me while I remove my shirt, it’s killing him that he can’t sit up and touch me. I position myself, kneeling down in the perfect spot. My mouth opens taking the tip of his cock in. My tongue swirls around and I hear him moan in pleasure as I fully take him in. I develop the perfect rhythm and I can feel him coming undone.

“Shit Hope, that feels amazing. Don’t stop.” He moans and I don’t stop. Not until he comes and I take in every drop of him.

My eyes meet his and he’s almost caught his breath. I straddle him again positioning myself over him as I slide down. His eyes close as he groans in pleasure. I do the same, throwing my head back as I begin to move my body up and down. His free hand reaches up to cup my breast and I moan as his touch sends a million butterflies to my core. These past three weeks have been torturous not being able to touch or feel him. We take in as much of each other as we can, making this last as long as possible. My body is exhausted as I slowly climb off him careful not to bump his ribs.

“I love you Wes.” I tell him as I lie beside him on the bed.

“I love you too Hope, that was amazing.” Poor thing is still out of breath, but he’s wearing the biggest smile.

“I’ve been too scared to touch you. I was scared I would hurt you.” I admit.

“I know, it sucks too, but that just definitely made up for it.” He halfway props himself up the only way he can against the headboard. “Can I ask you something Hope? How come you never answered my question?”

I knew this talk was coming soon. I didn’t think it was coming after some pretty amazing sex. I turn to face him, as I begin to admit my feelings. “I wanted to know what your intentions were before I told you anything. We’ve just told each other ‘I love you’, how can we know we’re ready for this? I’m scared the only reason you want to marry me is because of the baby.” A lone tear falls down my cheek before I can stop it.

“Sweetheart,” he began, “I lost you once. I will never lose you again. When I asked you that in the doctor’s office, I meant it with every beat of my heart. You walking into my life the first time and this last time were the best things that have ever happened to me. You are my heart and soul, there’s not a single minute in the day where you aren’t on my mind. I love you and I will do everything to make you happy. Asking you to marry me isn’t just because of the baby. I asked you to marry me because I want you, all of you for the rest of my life.”

His eyes are glassy from the tears he’s holding back. Piece by piece, my heart begins beating a little more wildly and I close my eyes to take all this in. He is like some real life prince swooping in to save the day always saying the perfect thing to send my body and soul into a frenzy.

“Open your eyes sweetheart,” he asks softly.

I open them almost instantly watching him intently. “After all this time, I still don’t think you’re real.” I whisper the words as I move in closer to lie against his chest. Our heartbeats sync together and the melodic rhythm sets me at ease.

“I’m very real Hope. I’m very real and very much in love with you.”

I lay there playing his words over and over again in my head. Each word hits me just as hard as the one before but my heart is being the real hero of the day. My heart knows what’s best for me. My heart knows I love Wesley, but I’m not ready for this. I can’t stop the baby, what’s done is done but I can control this. This has just become an easy decision. Every fiber in my being knows it. I can’t fight it. I love him and I’m getting ready to give him my answer. All I can do is hold my breath and hope he doesn’t run away.

“Wesley,” I say out loud as I lift my head up to meet his eyes. “I can’t tell you yes.”

He says nothing. The smile he wore on his face becomes a frown as he simply nods his head. I know my words hit him hard but he’s crazy to think we can get married anywhere near this soon.

“Wesley?” I repeat again after an awkward moment of silence. His eyes meet mine again, this is torture. “I’m sure you have the best of intentions at heart. I know it doesn’t help that I pretended to be your wife in Vegas, but I didn’t know what to do to be able to see you. I can’t go through this again right now ok? It’s not you, it’s us. We just found out we’re having a baby and we need to know each other before we can take that kind of step. I love you Wesley. I do. You don’t have to propose to be able to keep me. I’m not going anywhere I promise. I’m just not rushing this either.”

He listens to my words intently shaking his head every once in a while out of agreement. “Hope, I’m sorry. I guess I was caught up in the moment. Everything is happening fast and no way in hell do I want to scare you off or make you think I have intentions that aren’t true. I love you too.”

He leans in and kisses me fiercely before slowly raising up to stand. He has no idea the thoughts that are swimming around in my head. I just can’t do marriage right now. He puts his jeans back on with my help. I make myself comfortable slipping into one of his t-shirts before sitting back on the bed. He sits right beside me and pulls my hand into his. “I never want to make you feel uncomfortable Hope, I hope you know that.”

“I know Wes.”

Part of me is still in shock over his proposal. My parents and Amber would have killed me for jumping into another engagement this soon. My heart knows better and I’m glad I am smart enough to listen to it. Wesley looks hurt but now he’s acting like everything is back to normal, like we never had this conversation. He continues to reassure me he loves me and is sorry for trying to rush everything. His reassurance leads to a love making session that clears my mind of anything that could possibly be clogging it.

Nothing could take this happiness away from me right now. Not even the fact that the doorbell just rang. I want to pretend we aren’t here but everyone knows we are. He kisses my lips hard making me want to lay him back on the bed again but instead we fully dress and make our way to the front door.

Chapter 27

I open the door to find Nora and Nolan standing on the front porch. As badly as I want to groan, I put on my best smile and welcome them in. Nolan’s smile is about as fake as mine was but at least he isn’t glaring at me anymore. He quickly glances around taking in the house like he’s making plans. Nora takes my mind away from him when she grabs my hand pulling me into the kitchen.

“Wesley told me you heard the heartbeat of the baby. Everything’s going good?” She fixes herself a glass of water and sits at the table. I follow and sit beside her.

“Everything is great. I’m taking my prenatal vitamins and taking care of myself. Wesley’s very stubborn but I’m making sure he’s taken care of. He should be good to go in a few weeks according to his doctor.”

Wesley and his dad come walking in. He kisses my head before embracing his mom in a hug. “Did you see the picture of the baby?” He beams as he goes over to the shelf to grab the framed ultrasound photo.

Her face lights up as she holds the picture staring at her little grandson or granddaughter. I can’t help but beam as well, just walking past the shelf it sits on makes me feel all giddy inside.

“Son, do you need me to hire someone to come do work out here for you? You really need to get the grass cut.”

I try not to glare at Nolan as I remember trying to operate that possessed piece of machinery earlier. Wesley starts laughing and I’m so glad he finds this amusing. “No dad it’s fine. I was going to cut it earlier but something came up.”

I begin to choke on the sip of water I just took, yeah something came up alright. Everyone stops to stare at me. I put my hand up to let them all know I am fine.

“We stopped by to see if you two would like to accompany us to dinner tonight. I wanted to apologize for the way I acted in the hospital.” His dad’s words have my undivided attention and I look at him waiting for some sort of catch, but nothing comes. “Hope, I worry about him and his future. His last girlfriend tried to take him for every penny he had and I refused to watch that happen again. I hope you can forgive me.”

His last girlfriend? I suddenly realize I had no idea about any of this. I’m a little hurt to being hearing it from his dad of all people. I make a mental note to ask Wesley to elaborate a little later. He knows everything about Brad and yet I’ve never heard him even mention anyone else. I’m sure it’s nothing so I’m trying really hard to forget about it.

“Its fine Mr. Tyler, I understand why you acted the way you did.” I look over to see Wesley almost glaring at his dad, probably wondering why he brought it up too. When he looks over at me he smiles and I almost forget the hurt I’m allowing to sit there and fester.

I am relieved to have them ask about dinner. I love cooking for Wesley, but having someone else do everything seems like a better idea to me. Wesley looks to me for my decision and I nod my head yes.

I excuse myself to go freshen up in the bathroom. I try my best to smile in the mirror and not let his dad’s words affect me. I step into the room going straight for the closet to find a shirt to wear. Amber really did think of everything when she packed for me. I slip on my black and white stripe button up blouse. I’m fastening the last button when Wesley walks into the room.

“Hey sweetheart, you ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?” I answer without looking at him. “You know every thing about me. Things I wish no one knew and yet I find out from your dad that some ex girlfriend of yours tried to wipe you clean. I mean obviously I know I’m not the only girl you’ve ever dated but…”

“Sweetheart, are you done babbling?” he asks softly. I look up to meet his eyes that hold a little bit of pain behind them. Letting out a sigh, I let him know I’m done. “That’s nothing but a painful memory for me. I have things too I’m not proud of and it’s not that I meant to keep it from you; it’s just that I don’t like to talk about it. She is worse than they are.” I really don’t want to hear this anymore but I don’t stop him. “We met when I moved down here to take care of my grandpa. Like my parents, all she saw was dollar signs. She didn’t care about me. I was stupid and young and when my grandpa died, she persistently tried to get me to propose to her. She even went as far as try to fake a pregnancy to trap me. Dad wanted this place even more then than he does now and he was pissed when he found out everything that she did. No one had to persuade me, I just left her. I realized I wasn’t in love with her and never could be. She wasn’t cut out for my lifestyle, she just wanted to sit here and soak it all up. That’s why my dad reacted so harshly towards you in the hospital. I knew that he would see you were different.”

My heart hit the bottom for him and I’m already regretting bringing it up in the first place. “Wesley, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“It’s the past and you are my present and future. That’s all I care about. Now let’s go to dinner beautiful.”

Hand in hand, we walk out of our room to meet his parents in the foyer. He grabs his cowboy hat placing it on his head before we walk out. He gives me a smirk as we climb into his parent’s car. We both have pasts we aren’t proud of, there are things we wish we could change but in this moment none of that matters. I have the only thing that matters sitting right beside me.

                                                                      ********

Last night at dinner, his parents showed a completely different side. His dad who seemed to hate my guts in Vegas now talked warmly to me and actually reminded me a lot of my father. Relief rolls over my body to know that everything is going to be ok and just maybe his parents aren’t as horrible as I thought they were only a few weeks before.

Amber called this morning and I desperately want to talk to her and tell her what’s been going on but I don’t want to do it over the phone so I ask her if she wants to meet me at my parent’s house. She tries to find out what’s going on but I simply explain with as even a voice as I can that we are just going to visit. Wesley’s hand is in mine the whole time we drive to my parent’s house. Calmness washes over me last night after our talk and that same calm still remains today. Things will start looking up again. Wesley hasn’t brought up the engagement again but it’s all that’s sitting in the back of my mind.

I park in my old spot once I arrive at Mom and Dad’s. I know this visit is going to go over well but I’m full of nerves as we walk into the house. Amber is sitting on the couch talking to Mom and Dad and she’s also brought Nate with her. Mom instantly beams when she sees us and gets up to hug us. She’s careful hugging Wesley although he assures her he’s fine. I still get nervous around the cast so I understand her caution. My Dad shakes his good hand and ushers us to have a seat.

“I was just telling your Mom and Dad how you’re going to be the cutest pregnant woman.” I simply smile hoping she’s right. I don’t want to be a huge whale carrying this baby.

It feels like an eternity since I’ve seen everyone. I fumble around in my purse until my hands touch the Ziploc bag containing the picture of our little baby.

Mom immediately grabs the bag and pulls the picture out. “Oh my, look at the little baby. Grandma loves you. Wait, I don’t want to be called Grandma, give me some time with that one.”

Dad laughs as he peers over her shoulder studying our little peanut. Amber patiently waits her turn beside me. She nudges my side and cocks her eyebrow to get my attention.

“What did you want to tell me about?” She whispers a little too quietly into my ear. I almost don’t hear her.

Mom and Dad are still oohing and ahhing over the ultrasound photo and Wesley and Nate are deep in conversation. He’s moving his good arm around animatedly stopping to wink at me when we lock eyes. I slightly blush before I turn away. I grab Amber by her hand and pull her to the other side of the room.

“I’m worried Amb.” I admit.

“What are you worried about? He’s like a freaking beam of light on a prism in there. Happiness is practically radiating off him. It’s actually kinda gross.”

I draw in a huge breath and let it out quickly, “Last night, Wesley asked me to marry him.” Her eyes grow wide but before she can say anything, I continue. “I told him no. I’m not ready for that. I just got out of the engagement with Brad and I love Wesley, I really do but I can’t make that kind of commitment knowing we don’t know each other.”

“How did he take your answer?” She asks cautiously.

“He says everything is fine and he shouldn’t have tried to rush it, but deep down in the back of my mind, I’m waiting for everything to crumble. I feel like I should have a plan when this all backfires. I’m going to have a baby to consider.” I hate saying this, I feel like a horrible person.

“Hope, look at me. Everything is going to be fine. He’s good to you, go with the flow but I assure you that he isn’t going anywhere.”

I study my best friend’s facial expression. Her eyes carry a hint of hurt along with anger that I would even say something like that. I hate that these sorts of thoughts are festering in the back of my mind.

“I’m dreading him getting better too Amb, it’s like in the back of my mind I know he’s going to miss everything with this pregnancy. I’m moving back home, it’s the only logical thing to do.”

“I’m not allowing you to move back in, you’re going to stay with him Hope. Don’t you leave him because you’re scared.”

“What about when the baby is born?” I ask, fear consuming me the more I think of this. I wish I was thinking of anything but this.

“All you can do is pray it isn’t in the middle of rodeo Hope. That way he can be there, but Wesley would never miss the birth of this baby.” I look at Amber completely blindsided by her comment. I’ve given very little thought to him going back to rodeo. Back in my mind, I know he is eventually but it hasn’t been mentioned. The thought of being stuck home pregnant while he’s at rodeos makes me a little sick to my stomach. What if he does miss the birth of our baby or even worse gets in another accident and gets hurt worse than this? These are the things I’ve given little or no thought to and honestly, I don’t know if I can handle something worse than this.

“We’ll make sure it’s just right.” I put on my best smile while the thoughts sit at the back of my mind completely eating at me.

“Dad made a big pot of chicken spaghetti and there’s plenty for everyone.” Mom pipes up from the middle of the room bringing me back to reality.

My stomach immediately starts growling. Wesley is now standing beside my Dad and they’re talking like two old friends. He looks over towards me and winks. Smiling back, I can’t help but continue to wonder whether we can seriously survive this. There’s so much we haven’t discussed yet and I still have these terrible aching thoughts.

Dinner with my family is always fun. I help Mom clean up the dishes and excuse myself. I took the stairs slowly one by one heading to my old bathroom. This almost feels like déjà vu. Just a few weeks ago I was here, walking up these steps facing my demons. Those demons have lain dormant since and I pray they stay that way. I stare at her door and smile wanting to do nothing more than go throw it open and sit on her bed. My smile fades and I sigh as I close the bathroom door. Some things just never get easier and this is one of them.

Everyone’s in the living room sitting around watching TV when I come down the stairs. I settle beside Wesley, his hand immediately settles on my stomach as he kisses my forehead. I can’t concentrate on whatever show we’re watching because I’m still slowly torturing myself.

I lean up to his ear and whisper. “No more rodeo for a while right?”

His eyes meet mine, knowing fully what I mean. “Sweetheart, I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I want to enjoy this time with you. I still have a few weeks Hope. Once I’m healed, I’ll find out more.”

“I’m going to break your other arm.” I mumble hoping he doesn’t hear me. His laugh proves me wrong and I’m sick to my stomach again.

“Everything is going to be ok Hope, I’m telling you.” He whispers into my hair. I don’t want his soft whispers to affect me but they are and I’m wishing they would ease this ache I can’t shake.