Spurs & Stilettos (16 page)

I make sure to let Amber know I’m not coming home tonight. She is with Nate anyways I’m sure. Dad’s sudden snoring makes me giggle and I glance at him laid back in his recliner passed out. Mom giggles right along side me. Part of me wishes I’d never moved in with Brad so I could’ve stayed here longer. I wanted to grow up though and boy did I ever. I learned so much and although it’s been tough, it’s only made me a better person.

“I’m going to get your dad to bed. He could wake the dead with that snore.”

I laugh. I’m tired too, so I’m really ok with going to lay down myself. “I’m tired too Mom, I’m going to go shower and lay in bed.”

“Goodnight baby girl, we’ll see you in the morning.” I kiss my sleeping Dad’s forehead and hug my Mom before making my way upstairs to everything I’ve avoided in the past.

I take the steps one at a time. I’m slow moving but I’m remembering all the times Karlee and I ran up and down these stairs or the time she tried to slide down the banister and ended up with a broken leg. Mom and Dad were pissed at us for playing around. I finally reach the top of the stairs and look at both closed doors. I stare at hers for a moment before turning to open my old bedroom door. The first thing I see is a picture of me and Brad. I flip the wooden picture frame down and walk straight for my dresser. I find a pair of old gym shorts and an old t-shirt-, that will do for bed. I walk into the bathroom turning on the light. I admire the pink polka dot shower curtain we shared. The same fluffy pink towel hangs on the holder. I open the test and let out a long sigh as I begin to pee on the stick. I set it on the counter and I climb into the shower. It can wait until I’m done. There’s a fresh bottle of body wash in the shower along with shampoo and conditioner. I let the shower cleanse me, inside and out. I cry a little until I’m convinced I’m fine. I keep telling myself I did good coming here. Of course I knew it was going to be tough but I’m a survivor.

Chapter 20

I slip into the clothes feeling nice and clean.
I want to walk out of the bathroom but there is a little unfinished business, that darn stick lying on the counter. I’m terrified to look. It’s crazy how one little stick can have such a huge impact on your life. I’m terrified he’ll want none of this. I’m terrified to raise a baby alone. I close my eyes and count to ten.

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9……10.

Once I open them, I carefully grab the stick and my jaw falls to the floor. Tears sting the back of my eyes as they threaten to fall. I can’t believe this is happening. The two little lines tell me what I absolutely dreaded. I’m pregnant. My stomach is a barrel of knots as I continue to stare at the two lines that just decided my fate. What if I didn’t want this fate? What if Wesley doesn’t want this fate? Oh God, I’m going to ruin his life. I throw my hand over my mouth letting a sob break free. My whole body is numb and I try my best to pretend that everything will be ok.

I haven’t heard from Wesley yet, I can only imagine being there and getting to see him ride. I know he’s anxious to place and get to Vegas. That third title means a lot to him, he doesn’t have to tell me, I already know. I lie across my bed with my phone in my hand. Nothing yet. I sigh wondering how he’s doing and how the hell I’m supposed to break the news to him. I can’t do it over the phone. I don’t want to sound like a coward. I want to see his face when I tell him so I can be able to read him. I open my pictures and look at the one of the two of us. I stare at his face, the smile he has melts me now. Imagine what it did to me then. I’m going to turn his world upside down, neither of our lives will ever be the same again.

I open my web browser on my phone and Google pops up. I can’t believe I didn’t think about the internet until now. I type in his name and a lot of pictures pop up, pictures of him and Bandit and pictures of just him. He’s smiling in every single picture and I smile back. I miss that sexy smile of his. Article after article pops up covering almost every event he’s participated in. He really has been doing this for a long time and he’s damn good. Better than I thought he was.

I’m scrolling through the page quickly. I haven’t read any articles yet, I just like reading his name. Seeing his name and pictures makes me feel like I’m not that far away from him. One article catches my eye and I hesitate before tapping the link. I feel like I’m going to be sick. My stomach is a mangled mess of knots and I can’t breathe. Tears spring forward as I recognize the car immediately. I’d be stupid not to know it because I was there. It belonged to Karlee.

I can’t read this, I refuse to. What does this have to do with Wesley? I searched his name and nothing else. The title caught me once more before I could back out of the page:
Local Rodeo Champion Attempts to Save Life.
I can’t breathe. I want to read it but I don’t know if I can handle it. Curiosity gets the best of me and I begin to read the article.

Saturday
March 12, 2011

Friday night tragedy struck when a vehicle tr
aveling south on I-37 veered off the road and struck a tree. 26 year old Karlee Trahan was killed on impact. Trahan’s 23 year old sister Olivia Hope Trahan was the only survivor with minor injuries.

25 year old Rodeo Champion Wesley Tyler witnessed the accident stopping immediately to try and remove
both women from the vehicle. He succeeded before authorities arrived to find Karlee Trahan dead. Authorities commended him on his courageous effort……

I can’t read the rest of the article. My eyes have become a blurry pool of tears. My mind is in a million different places right now and I’m not sure what to think. I want to call Amber but I know she wouldn’t be able to understand a word I would be blubbering. I wonder if Mom and Dad knew about this and if they did why didn’t they tell me. Does Wesley even realize she was my sister? Does he have any idea that was me? He saved me. He pulled me from the car and by some twist of fate I met him again. The fact that he tried to help her keeps playing in my head over and over again. He saw her dead mangled body; he pulled her from the car. I choke on my tears, I’m feeling helpless probably much like that day. I can’t help but wonder what her last thoughts were before she hit that tree. What if she had been alive when he got to her, could he have saved her too? I’m struggling to find my breath, Wesley Tyler saved my life. I never put this together because I never thought about it. I barely remembered anything about him from that night. To me, he was just some stranger who saved my life and attempted to save my sister. I never knew who he was to thank him.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when my phone rings and his name pops up. I let it ring twice before picking up and trying to sound like myself.

“Hello?”

“Hey sweetheart, guess what?”
Yeah guess what? You saved my life and you’re going to be a daddy.
He sounds excited and I know what he’s getting ready to tell me.

“You’re going to Vegas?”

“I am, I wish you could be there. I leave in the morning and the competition is Sunday.”

“That’s good.” I want to say more, I really did but my brain is still trying to process everything from tonight. Finding out you’re pregnant and reading that article changes everything.

“Is everything ok Hope? You sound down baby. After Sunday, I’ll be home and it’s me and you, I swear.”

“Wesley,” I start out. I have to ask him about Karlee. I want to blurt out that I’m pregnant but I already told myself I wouldn’t over the phone. I think about the words I read in the article before I continue, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what sweetheart? I’m not following.”

Here goes nothing. “That you saved me and tried to save my sister from the car the night of her accident. I read the article on my phone.”

He sighs probably hoping he would have never had to tell me this. I’m not sure I really want to hear. “Oh my God,” he whispers. “I was heading home like ya’ll were. I was tired, it was a long night. I noticed her car swerving but honestly didn’t think anything of it at first. I assumed she was texting or something like that. Her car suddenly started drifting off the road and I slowed down waiting for her to get back on the road. She didn’t, it felt like everything moved in slow motion. Next thing I know, her car smashed into a tree and I pulled over as fast as I could. I flew out of my truck towards her car. Smoke was everywhere and I couldn’t tell whether she was alive or not, I just knew I had to get her out the car. I called 911 before I practically ripped the door off the hinges. I saw you freaking out. I didn’t realize there was anyone else inside the vehicle. Shit, I remember you clinging to my neck as I pulled you from the car and set you on the grass. I remember moving ya’ll away from the car incase it exploded, she hit the tree pretty hard. I couldn’t find a pulse, I prayed, I just had no idea what I was doing but the paramedics arrived and confirmed what I had feared the most. That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I didn’t exactly put two and two together when you told me your sister was killed in an accident leaving the rodeo. I’ve tried to forget everything about that day. I’m so sorry Hope.”

My eyes are full of tears again and if it’s even possible, I swear I love him. The words play in my mind over and over again and it slams into me full force. I love Wesley Tyler. He saved me and tried to save Karlee.

“Why wasn’t she alive?” I cry. I already know the answer but he is the last person to truly see her and I feel he knew better answers but he doesn’t.

“Sweetheart, I wish I could fix this for you. You have no idea.”

“I couldn’t read the whole thing, it tore me apart. I’ve never seen that article before, I was searching you so I could have you with me and it popped up. Thank you for being there. How did I not know that was you, Wesley? I wish you were here with me right now.” I choke out. He has no idea how much I wish he was here with me.

“Me too sweetheart. I have no idea what to say, I’m completely at a loss for words Hope. Dammit I’m so sorry. Things happen for a reason, some of those reasons we will never understand but we were brought back together. Sunday, I swear, you’re my first and only stop. I can’t wait to hold you again. It’s been too long already.”

We talk a little longer before he begins yawning. I know he’s tired, I just wish we didn’t have to hang up. Before I can attempt to protest his decision to hang up, I yawn too.

“You need to get some rest sweetheart, I miss you so much Hope.”

I smile wiping away the last of the tears. “I miss you too.”

*******

Most of the next day, I spend
helping Mom in her garden. She is planting a few new flower plants, while Dad sprayed chemicals to kill the weeds that threatened to overtake everything. I am going to miss the hell out of them when I leave this afternoon. The only thing that keeps me going is tomorrow, Wesley will be home. I plan on wrapping my arms around him and not letting him out of my sight until I have to go to work Monday morning.

“You know you’re welcome here anytime Hope, you and Wesley.” Dad winked.

“I know Dad. He’s going to be on TV tomorrow going for his third title, you should watch.”

“I think we will.” He finishes spraying and sets the jug of chemicals to the side. “He’s a good guy Hope.”

You have no idea.
That’s what I think to myself. I wonder if I should tell them what I learned last night. I don’t want to reopen the wound for anyone, we’ve all hurt enough. Mom steps back admiring the new flowers she just planted and gives me a hug. I do the same for Dad. I need to break the news to them that I’m pregnant but I don’t know if they should know before Wesley. They did bring me into this world, so maybe it would be ok.

“Mom?” I ask a little cautiously. I never realized what nerves were until it was time to tell your parents you are having a baby.

“Yeah Hope?” She looks up from what she was doing.

I draw in a deep breath praying they don’t kill me. Dad is watching me just as attentively as she is. “I want to tell ya’ll something and I’m not sure how to say this so I’m just going to spit it out. First, I found an article online about Wesley. It, uh it blew my mind. Wesley pulled me from the car and he tried to save Karlee. How did I never know this?” Mom’s jaw is on the ground and Dad lowers his head. I draw in a deep breath as I continue with my news, “And I’m pregnant.”

Dad lifts his head, his eyes grow wide. He smiles so I take that as a good sign. Mom’s eyes filled with tears and she pulled me in for a tight hug. “Olivia Hope, how long have you known?”

“I just found out about both things last night Mom, I swear.”

“This is fate if I’ve ever heard it. I knew I liked that boy. I’m so excited for you! I think a baby is just what this family needs. Is Wesley excited?”

“He, uh doesn’t know yet. I want to tell him in person and he’ll be home tomorrow. Mom?” she looks at me intently as I break down. “I’m scared.”

“You’re scared he won’t want this? Sweetheart, he’s a good guy. Everything will work out how it’s supposed to. Just tell him and see what happens, that’s all you can do.”

“I love you Mom.”

“We love you too, baby girl.”

I can’t lie I’m terrified of everything this baby will bring, but at the same time, I believe Mom is right. Maybe this baby is what our family needs.

I laugh when Amber sends me a text.

Amber: This picnic sucks ass. I swear I’m going to kill your ex.

Me: You mean your cousin? What’s going on?

Amber: Ugh whatever. I’ll tell you when we’re home.

I stick my phone back in my pocket laughing. I wonder what’s going on that has her ready to kick his ass. I’m assuming he’s run his mouth and she’s just had enough of it. She used to tolerate him a lot more, but ever since he pulled the shit he did with me, she’s not been the nice cousin she was before. She thought she knew the real him, she really knows the real him now. I have to break the news to Amber that I won’t be drinking any Chardonnay for a few months. I’m sure she’ll take the news well, that means more for her.

Wesley let me know he has made it to Vegas. I imagine relaxing with him in the hotel room instead of being outside in this horrid heat. Dad brings everyone a glass of sweet tea and mine is almost gone in one gulp.