Spurs & Stilettos (13 page)

Chapter 16

I use
d to love Friday nights. I love getting dolled up to go out, but it’s been so long since I’ve done it. Amber is more than thrilled. She’s been chattering nonstop about it since I texted her earlier this week. She dragged me shopping and I ended up with a new pair of skinny jeans. It doesn’t take long before we’re ready. My hair cooperates and not a single piece is out of place. I smile at my reflection in the mirror.
This is you getting your life back Hope. This is a new beginning.

I smile confidently in the mirror thinking about this new beginning. I adjust my bra strap under the black sleeveless blouse I’m wearing before stepping into my heels.

“You ready to go?” Amber smiles at me. She’s glad to have her normal best friend back. I don’t blame her, I’m glad to have me back too. I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on staying in a stagnant relationship. Not to mention the grieving I’d endured.

“Let’s go,” I smile back as we head out into the Texas air looking for a good time.

Amber pulls up at a club about ten minutes away from the house. We blasted the radio the whole way there getting ourselves mentally ready. The line to get inside isn’t too long; we only have to wait for two minutes. I offer a small smile in appreciation as the bouncer lets us in.

The music is loud. I almost can’t hear myself think. I want to have a good time; all I need is something cold to drink. Amber leads us to the bar and orders two beers. I tip mine back letting the cool liquid slide down my throat. This is just what I needed.

Amber drags me out to the dance floor where we dance our hearts out. No one bothers us which I think I really like. Amber gets a few looks from some pretty good looking guys but she won’t leave my side. The lighting on the dance floor is warm; I can feel my skin heating up. After a while, I realize my beer is empty, and I motion to Amber I’m ready to grab another which she shakes her head in agreement. I give her a thumbs up as I make my way through the sea of people up to the bar.

“It might be a minute or two. He’s the only one behind the bar.” I turn to see who is talking to me. A stranger with Hershey brown eyes is smiling back at me. He is very good looking with his messy blonde hair and toned physique but I don’t allow myself to think anything of it. I’m not here for a guy.

I smile to acknowledge what he said. “I’m Nate.” He yells out above the noise.

I feel awkward doing this but I casually smile as I reply, “I’m Hope.”

“Can I buy your drink, Hope?” He asks kindly. I’m not too sure if it’s a good idea, I’ve never let someone I don’t know buy my drink in the bar but I remember that I’m now living my life so I’m ready and willing to take a chance.

“You don’t have to Nate, I’m getting my friend a beer too.”

Just then the bartender walks up and Nate asks for three beers. He follows me like a puppy dog all the way back to the dance floor where Amber is dancing her heart out. She notices Nate and smiles real big before leaning into my ear, “Oh Hope, I only asked for a beer not a hot guy too! Mmm, he’s delicious looking!”

I roll my eyes, she’s crazy. I almost feel rude for not introducing them so I hurry and get it out the way. The minute they lock eyes, it’s over. They can’t tear their eyes away from each other. It’s almost nauseating. I smile though because I want Amber to have the fun she deserves. In fact, she’s having so much fun she forgets about me as her and Nate begin to dance. My feet are actually killing me in these heels so I decide to sit down for a few minutes.

I pull my phone out of my pocket out of habit and of course there’s nothing. I sigh as I place it back. I don’t know why I even brought the stupid thing. I finish the beer Nate bought and place it on the bar before ordering another. As I tip it back to take the first sip, a voice catches my attention. I’m imagining things. I have to be. The voice goes away but almost immediately it comes back and I’m sick to my stomach. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. It’s Wesley.

“Well aren’t you just the prettiest thing I’ve laid eyes on.” I hear him say to some blonde who’s twirling her long hair around her finger. He’s got her under his spell. I’m jealous as hell seeing someone else affected by him.

She says something and touches his arm laughing. The green monster is definitely alive and well in me. I don’t think he’s even seen me but I’m zeroed in on him. Every feeling I’ve ever felt for him comes flooding back. The feelings I never got to tell him about will stay locked up forever after seeing him with this blonde.

I try to walk off but someone bumps into me almost sending me barreling forward. All I can think is I’m about to bust my face on the floor and then I’ll definitely make my presence known but I’m able to grab onto one of the bar chairs and steady myself. Lucky for me, the beer doesn’t spill either.

I pull myself together and look up in time to lock eyes with Wesley. He’s shocked to see me, almost as shocked as I am to see him. His eyes carry hurt, this is the first time I’ve seen him in what feels like forever and I’m wishing I hadn’t. Seeing him makes it so much worse. The blonde excuses herself and walks off. Dumb move on her part. I stand still though, not moving a single muscle. His eyes never leave mine, neither one of us break the stare. He’s wearing a black button up shirt with those Wranglers he always wears and my heart skips a beat.

I have to talk to him. I have too, that’s what this new me is about. I’m living my life and if this is the only time I ever see him again, I’m taking this into my own hands. I’m going to talk. I’ve made up my mind. I walk towards him and he looks shocked but I am too. My feet move exactly like they know where they are going. They seem to possess a mind of their own. I’m really hoping my mouth doesn’t get a mind of its own and completely embarrass me. I expect him to walk off but he stands there still waiting for me.

“Wesley, I…”

He cuts me off accidentally when we speak at the same time, “Hope, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question. I’m out with Amber, who’s your friend?” I ask stupidly wishing I hadn’t.

“I have no idea, I just met her. She’s not you, but she’ll have to do.” His eyes are green pits of sadness, not a hint of the sparkle I’m used to seeing.

I didn’t expect to hear those words. That’s nice compared to the text he sent that night.

“Wesley, I’m so sorry. I wish I could erase that whole night but I swear nothing happened.”

“Please Hope, I don’t want to talk about this right now.” The sadness behind his eyes begs me to stop. I want to scream to him ‘I miss you’ but I just look at him and nod my head like I really understand him. Truth is I don’t understand him at all because we never discussed any of this. It hurt too much then and it still does.

The blonde emerges from out of nowhere wrapping her arms around his waist. I cringe right there trying not to make it noticeable but Wesley notices. In fact, he cringes when her hands touch him, but he never tries to move them. In the back of my mind I know he is going to woo her tonight and say all the sweet things he once said to me. He was moving on from me and I just saw it with my own two eyes.

“I better go find Amber. Ya’ll have a good night. It was good seeing you Wesley.” Good seeing him? More like torture seeing him but I keep my smile on my face and turn to keep what dignity I have left.

“Hope,” he calls out. I turn back to face him. He’s somber and I swear I can see in his face that he misses me. He’s let his guard down for a split second even with her hands around him. I want him to tear away from her and run up to me. I want him to sweep me off my feet and kiss me but he doesn’t. He just stands there. “Be safe.”

I smile fighting back tears I don’t want. I regret walking up to him. Seeing this just tears my heart deeper. I want him to know how truly sorry I am and that I miss him but I can’t. Not this way. Not with her right there. I turn away and walk off as fast as I can get away. As soon as I make it to the bathroom I hide behind a stall and grab at my chest trying to get the aching in my heart to go away but it doesn’t. It’s broken, like everything else.

When I feel like I can walk again, I pull myself together and exit the bathroom. I look back to see if Wesley is still there with the girl but I don’t see either one of them which means they probably left together. She’s probably sitting in his truck in my spot. Just the thought of it makes me want to run back to the bathroom but instead I spot Amber and Nate at the bar and go meet them.

“I was looking for you Hope, where’d you go?” Nate hands Amber a beer and orders one for me. I smile thanking him.

“I went to the bathroom.” I answer honestly. I lean in a little closer to where only she could hear me. “Wesley was here Amb. I saw him.”

Her eyes bug out of her head. “What?! Did you talk to him?”

“He had some blonde hanging on him but she walked off for a minute and I walked up to him like an idiot.”

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing really. Seeing him did nothing but remind me I miss him and that I screwed everything up. What the hell am I supposed to do?” That was the first time I’ve told her or anyone that. Sympathy fills her eyes.

“Does he know Hope?”

“I couldn’t tell him. He looked so hurt to even be seeing me, and now they’re both gone.”

“Do you want to leave?” She asks carefully studying me for a minute like she’s just waiting for my exterior to crack.

I look at her and shake my head no. Seeing him put a damper on my night but I wouldn’t let it ruin it completely. I can’t believe I saw him. I take a sip of my beer and listen to her and Nate get to know one another. For the first time in a long time, my best friend Amber is wearing a genuine smile on her face. Even though I am alone, I don’t feel like the third wheel. Amber includes me in every part of their conversations. Nate is a joker, he has us both rolling with his corny jokes that should have been reserved for Laffy Taffy wrappers. When he asks for her number, she blushes profusely and acts hesitant. I swear I will kick her little butt with my heels if she doesn’t give it to him. I would even stoop so low as to slip it to him myself when she isn’t looking. She draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he hands her his phone. Her hands shake as she types it in, even when she double checks it when she is done. Nate looks at me and I nod to let him know that really is her number. Memories of the first night with Wesley play back in my mind. I remember the butterflies, I remember everything. Hell, I had those same exact butterflies tonight just by seeing him.

My phone vibrates and Wesley’s name pops up with a text message. I’m scared as hell to open it but I have to see what it says.

Wesley: I didn’t leave with her Hope. I want you to know that. If you’re still here, I want to talk to you. Can you meet me outside?

I take a sip of my beer before making my decision. I read his text over and over again before thrusting the phone in Ambers face. I feel rude for possibly ruining a moment between her and Nate but this was an emergency.

“Go talk to him Hope. I’m right here I won’t leave.” I stare at her making sure I heard her right. I’m hallucinating, that’s the only possible explanation I have. I hope this will turn out to be good. I tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear as I finally decide to answer her.

“You really think I should? I’m scared Amber.” And I am. I am scared shitless. She smiles at me reassuring me and squeezes my hand as I turned to walk out of the club.

I’m a bundle of nerves as I step out into the night air. It’s hard to not see him. He’s leaning against his truck. His back is to me and I almost don’t think he knows I am coming until he turns around to face me. My heart drops in my chest as I look into his eyes. We say nothing for a minute. We’re taking this time to rememorize each other, this time without the loud music and bright lights of the club. His hand reaches up and brushes against my cheek. I shudder trying to control myself. I missed his touch so much. I close my eyes praying this isn’t some dream but I open them and he’s here with his hand still on my cheek.

“I miss you Hope.” He whispers. I won’t cry. I’m telling myself that. I won’t be weak.

“I miss you too,” I whisper almost inaudibly. We go back to not speaking. I can’t believe I’m standing outside in front of him. In front of the man who completely melts my heart. “Can you forgive me?”