Spurs & Stilettos (11 page)

Chapter 13

It’s been a week since Wesley found out my past thanks to Brad. A week and he hasn’t run like I thought he would. Sure, he assured me he wasn’t going to but I can’t help but think in the back of my mind that he may. He calls me everyday like clockwork. It’s Monday again, I hate Monday now. Today makes me think of having to tell Wesley bye again before he left. It’s been a week since I’ve seen him and no word yet on when I will again. I just hope it’s not too much longer; I miss the hell out of him. I miss his green eyes, that smile he has that melts my soul and damn, there’s not a single thing about him I don’t miss.

“Hope, can I see you in my office?” Mr. Collins asks, dragging me away from the thoughts of my boyfriend I can’t see when I please.

“Yes sir.” I get up, closing the file that sits on my desk before entering his office.

“Bailey is going to be out of town today and I wanted to see if you were available to accompany me in court.”

I’ve never gotten to actually go into the courtroom with him before so I’m thrilled to have this opportunity. I mainly keep the office afloat while Bailey gets to attend court. I’ve never complained about it, the quiet suits me just fine. Instantly I reply, “Yes sir.”

“We have an hour and a half before we need to be there,” He hands me a paper. “Check her desk, she should have the files out and ready. That’s all I need you to grab.”

I smile as I walk out and head straight for her desk. I grab the thick file placing it securely in my hands. My phone buzzes on my desk and within seconds I open it up hoping its Wesley. But it’s not. It’s Brad. I haven’t heard from him since the whole birthday debacle and frankly, I’m glad. There was no excuse for the piss poor behavior he showed that day.

Brad: I’m sorry I screwed up your birthday Hope.

Me: I’m sorry I ever knew you.

I should have been the better person and not responded at all but I’m infuriated. The whole thing plays back in my head and it doesn’t help me feel any better. My phone buzzes again and I sigh rather loudly as I open another message.

Brad: I’m not. I want another chance with you.

Me: Well I don’t so leave me alone.

Brad: You really think he’s going to be faithful to you? He’s always gone.

Me: He’s already a million times better than you were.

I close the message out before he can send something else. I don’t want to hear anything else he has to say. This is the biggest joke. I hate playing his words over and over again in my head. Is Wesley really being faithful or is he playing me? It’s not like I would ever find out anyway. We’re hardly together. I shake the thoughts and try to focus on the task at hand.

I meet Mr. Collins at the door when it’s time to leave and follow him to the courthouse which isn’t too far from the office. It’s busy and full of life. Attorneys are pacing the halls, some with clients, and some without. Mr. Collins meets up with his client, a lady who looks to be not much older than me. He briefly introduces us, she smiles, and she shakes my hand. For some reason she reminds me a lot of myself; timid and shy on the outside. I hand her file over to Mr. Collins so he can go over a few things with her before we step into the court room. I watch as she nods along with everything he says. She trusts him completely to take care of her and for the fee he charges, I’m sure he won’t let her down. I actually feel sorry for the poor bastard once Mr. Collins gets through with him. He ends up having to pay the woman alimony and it isn’t cheap. The look on her ex-husbands face shows he had no idea that was going to happen. All the color has been drained and he looks like he’s just seen a ghost. The woman wears a smug look on her face obviously pleased with her victory. Secretly I hope Mr. Collins lets me come back to court with him. I like it, although it is at the expense of someone’s life being turned upside down. Throughout the entire hearing, I imagined Brad and me here and I just don’t think ours would’ve been very peaceful. This guy didn’t put up a fuss and Brad, well he would have argued with God himself.

“Thank you for your help Hope. How’d you like it?” Mr. Collins leads us outside into the warm Texas air.

“You’re welcome Mr. Collins, thank you for allowing me to come. I enjoyed it very much.”

“Take the rest of the day off, relax. I know it’s tiring in there sometimes.” I look at my watch. It was a little after two so I didn’t argue with him.

“Thank you Mr. Collins.” I shake his hand as I make my way to my car.

The engine purrs to life and the air begins blowing a little warm at first. Within a minute or so, it was cool. I place my sunglasses on my face and pull my phone out of my purse to check it before I drive home. Brad had sent another text but I quickly delete it, I am in no mood to play his games. I throw the phone back in my purse.

I wonder where Wesley is now. Brad’s words try to seep into my brain again but I dismiss them. How can someone as unfaithful as Brad try to tell me who will or will not be unfaithful to me? I don’t have time to drown my thoughts before I pull up at the apartment. Amber isn’t home yet so I let myself inside and kick my heels off. I lay across my bed hoping to catch a nap. I haven’t gotten to take one of these in forever. Just as my eyelids start to get heavy, my phone rings.

My heart skips a beat or two when I realize its Wesley. It sucks having to imagine him; having to imagine those gorgeous eyes and that gorgeous chest, and that smile that melts my entire world. It sucks more than anything to imagine women out there lusting after him and possibly trying to win him over.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sweetheart.” I love that drawl in his voice. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Not at all. I got off work a little early today. I got to go to court.” I say with a huge smile.

“That’s great babe, I’m happy for you.” And he sounds sincerely happy for me. I hate having these conversations over the phone. I want a conversation in person with him but I’ll take what I can.

“Where are you?” I ask almost scared to hear the answer.

“Not close enough. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” I admit quietly.

“I want to hold you in my arms so bad Hope.” My heartbeat picks up and I’m feeling like I should be happy but I’m sad it’s not able to happen.

Brad’s words play again in my head but I can’t let Wesley know I’ve talked to him. He knows about the past Brad and I share. He trusts me and I can’t break that trust. “Are you sure we can work Wes?”

“Don’t you start doubting me, sweetheart. I fully believe we can and we will. What’s got you thinking that? You can tell me anything.”

I sigh trying to come up with what to say. “I don’t doubt you. I know you have needs too and how are you supposed to fulfill them when we’re nowhere near each other? What if some other woman out there catches your eye and makes you see this just won’t work?”

“You think this is all about sex Hope? Please tell me that’s not it. Yes, I have needs. I need you. I have you so it’s taken care of, you hear me? I don’t need to look at anyone else and I won’t. I swear that to you.”

The aching in my chest eases a little but it’s not completely gone like I wish it would be. “I hear you. I’m sorry.”

“I’ve got to go but I wanted to hear your voice. Don’t give up on us Hope. I’m not.”

“I won’t either.” I swear I won’t.

I hang up the phone feeling a little more relieved. What in the world was I thinking getting involved with someone I’d barely see. I’ll tell you what I was thinking, for some reason I’m immensely attracted to him and he makes me happy.

********

I wake to find a text from Amber telling me she has a date tonight so she’d be late. I groan wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do for dinner but smile at the same time because I get the apartment to myself. I change out of my work clothes and into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I toss my hair carelessly into a messy bun on top of my head. I pull out the Tupperware bowl that has some vegetable soup my mom made and heat a bowl up. I pull a wine glass from our rack and fill it up with Chardonnay. I drink two glasses trying to soothe my nerves but all it did was make me miss Wesley more. The table was awfully lonely for one person but I sit there and eat my dinner. I just finished washing my bowl when I hear a knock at the door. My head turns wondering who the hell is here. Slowly I make my way to the door, making sure to glance through the peephole. Part of me really hoped Wesley was in town and decided to surprise me but Brad stands right outside the door holding a bouquet of roses. I expect to see them at least dead but they are very vibrant and alive. I can’t decide if I feel insulted or not.

I honestly debate not even opening the door. There was nothing he could say that was going to make anything better. I let out a long sigh as I unlock the door and open it to find him standing there with a small smile on his face.

“What do you want Brad?” I deadpan just staring at him.

“Can I come in?” He asks timidly. I’ve never known him to be timid a day in his life. He’s up to something.

I huff and puff for a minute before stepping aside. “I guess.”

“These are for you.” He hands me the bouquet and I make a mental note to throw them away once he leaves. I place them on the counter and grab my wine glass turning to face him with my hand on my hip.

“Why are you here, Brad?” I ask impatiently.

“Look Hope, I was an asshole. I know that and I’m sorry. I told you I want another chance with you and I mean it. I’m here to prove that to you. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.”

My head is spinning. He can’t seriously be standing here telling me this. Maybe he’s a figment of my imagination. I take a big sip of my wine before I close my eyes tightly hoping I’m right but I’m wrong. He’s standing there just staring at me waiting for me to say something. But I don’t know what to say. I’m at a loss for words.

“Brad, I thought I had too many issues for you. Have you forgotten how you treated me? Because I can’t forget. You changed and not for the better.”

He reaches for my free hand but I jerk it away realizing I am against the wall with nowhere to go and Amber is on a freaking date. “I can be the guy you fell in love with. I can be here for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t who you needed me to be when everything happened.”

His hand reaches up to cup my chin, something he hasn’t done since, well, I don’t know when. I’m not sure what I feel, I’m not sure of anything right now. My mind is still trying to decipher what he’s saying when his lips lightly brush against mine.

I’m weak, I’m vulnerable. I’m stupid.

I’m lonely. I’m a lot of things right now especially because I kiss him back. Maybe I’m trying to see if there’s anything there. His kiss is electric, it’s cool but it’s not Wesley’s. But I don’t know when I’ll feel Wesley’s again. He assured me everything was fine and all he needs is me but in the back of my mind I just don’t think I believe that one hundred percent like I should. Brad’s hands are in my hair and I’m brought back to my right frame of mind when I hear myself let out a moan. I’m startled by the sound of my moan realizing that I’m betraying myself and Wesley. The wine glass falls from my hand shattering on the floor. The little bit of wine that was left splatters on my feet.

“Shit.” I whisper.

“Let me clean this up for you.” He offers bending down immediately to begin picking up the larger pieces of glass.

“No, I’ve got it.” I argue reaching for the same piece he is. The glass slices through my finger sending tears to my eyes as the blood begins surfacing.

“Dammit Hope,” he sighs. He grabs a paper towel and wets it pressing it against the cut. I don’t want him touching me, but I’m too out of it to argue.

When he sees my finger isn’t going to fall off, he leans in crushing his lips to mine again. I break the kiss pushing him slightly back. “Brad, I, we, this, it can’t happen.”