Stand (Black Addiction Book 3) (11 page)

Not wanting to make an issue of it here—but trust me, it was going to be discussed—I dropped my hands like a good boy and led them through the crowd to meet the band. The chill hopefully going to be warmed by hi-how-are-yas that looked to follow.

Joe was up against the bar, his hands raised in animation as he talked to the crowd in front of him, each of them enthralled in whatever it was he was saying.

“Hey, stranger.” His head moved to Beth who was standing back waiting for a lull in the conversation. “You just going to stand there or give me a proper hello, considering it’s been freaking years.” His mouth shooting her a grin.

“Hey.” She laughed back, her arms giving the bastard the hug she hadn’t given me. It was the first time ever I’d been jealous of the bastard, but at that moment I would have given my left nut to trade places.

“Wow, Manhattan looks good on you, good work.” The asshole continued, my fists white-knuckling by my side as he spun her around making her fucking giggle. “Hopefully it will have the same effect on Max and he can finally get some style.” The SOB had the nerve to smirk in my direction.

The irritation I was feeling was not because I was worried Joey was making a play for my girl—well technically she wasn’t mine, but whatever. That dude and I had been through thick and thin, and even if his dick wasn’t owned by his beautiful, talented and mouthy wife Kenzie, he would never get involved with Beth. Sure he’d had a tendency to sleep with girls either Rus or I had been with in the past, but now it was about as possible as a eunuch getting an erection.

So what ate at me was not the asshole’s charm, but that he was doing the shit I wanted to do. Making her laugh and wrapping her in a hug.

I wasn’t given too much time to ponder with Alison and Rus making their way toward us.

“Beth.” Rusty held up his beer, his other arm wrapped tightly around his girl. “So you got a new neighbor I hear, my sympathies.”

Great another smooth bastard I needed to contend with.

And wait for it.

Yep, there was the laugh.

Beth did the intro of Jules to the boys. Not that she needed to, her roommate was holding her own. Rusty did what he always did whenever Ali was with him, keeping his hands on her while making sure everyone heard how awesome she was. I had to hand it to the guy, he’d become a one-woman guy the minute those two even got a sniff of being serious and he hadn’t so much as glanced at another chick. Earned him lots of respect, especially on account the chick he was dating was my kin.

“I still can’t believe your Phil’s daughter.” Beth’s face reared back in a mixture of shock and surprise. Yeah, I’d told her the story, but it didn’t get any easier seeing the evidence in front of you. Clearly the only thing my oxygen thief of a brother had done right, even if every single time I thought about the situation I wanted to beat the living shit out of him.

“I don’t really know him,” Ali sipped her drink, the subject of daddy dearest not being her favorite. “I met him a couple of times but—”

“But he’s an asshole and she’s better off without him in her life.” I added, aware that I had been sitting on the periphery of the conversation for too long. “We’re all better off without him.”

“Surely we have something better to talk about other than Phil.” Angie joined our happy little gang, pulling Beth into a hug. “It’s been forever.”

There was another person I would be happy to pull a Freaky Friday with, instead I was pouting like a fucking three-year-old doing the why-don’t-I-get-one.

“Yeah, a long while.” Beth smiled back, whatever tension she had earlier being shelved as she chilled with the band. “Last time I saw everyone was at Rusty’s before you guys went on the Power Station tour.”

“Ahhh, the night legends were made.” Rusty wiped a fake tear from his cheek. “And we lost our front woman to another band.”

“You didn’t lose me, moron, I’m still here.” Angie popped Rus in the arm. “But since you brought it up . . .” She whipped out her phone with its thirty thousand pictures of her big-shot husband and her seriously cute kid. Can’t say I blamed her, and it was sort of heartwarming to see.

“Jase is home with Zack.” Her finger flicked along the glass showing photos of her kid’s second birthday. “It’s hard to get sitters.” Hiring a nanny not an option for our ballsy front woman.

“I could watch him if ever you guys wanted a night out? I love kids, it’s one of the reasons why I went into teaching.”

Cue the sound of screeching fucking tires as Beth’s words settled in, almost every single one of us developing muteness with eyeballs turning directly to Angie.

“Or not.” Beth added, the silence being pretty fucking obvious that as gracious as the offer was, Angie probably wasn’t feeling it. “It was just an idea.”

“It is a great idea. Maybe Zack can meet you and we can see how it goes? I’d still have to talk to Jase as well, but I’d definitely think about it.” Angie didn’t shoot down the idea like we’d all assumed, the rest of the band still reeling from the shock.

“Of course, the offer is there.” Beth smiled, giving Angie’s hand a squeeze.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Angie continued the loving feeling and gave Beth another hug. “Don’t go disappearing again.”

“Wow. That’s some neat party trick you just pulled, Angie hardly lets anyone watch her son,” Rusty added, the risk of an Angie stare-down not enough to keep him from opening his mouth.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m protective. I don’t care what you idiots thinks.” She ignored the shade she was catching. “Now I’m going to have my one beer before heading home to my hot husband.” She moved to the bar and ordered her drink.

“So, are we drinking or standing around?” Jules looked around, her hands firmly on her hips. “Because it’s a Saturday night and I’m in a bar, I came here with the understanding there’d be booze.”

“Let me get you a drink, Jules.” I smiled, immediately liking the girl even if at present she was standing between me and the girl I wanted to put my hands on. “Beth? You joining your friend?”

“Sure, that would be good.” She gave me a nod, her chill thawing a little toward me. “Thank you.”

Awesome. At least she was planning to stay a little longer and I was using that shit to my advantage. And I was totally going to be finding out as to why it was perfectly acceptable for everyone else to lay hands on her, but not me.

Oh, and I am almost positive her wingman had been given special instructions to run interference as well. I might not have seen it right away, but the way Jules had subtly stepped between us was a huge red flag. As was the fact Beth was more comfortable giving Joey a hug than me.

Not happy.

And like it or not, we were having a discussion and she was going to shed some light on why the sudden one-eighty.

Tonight.

We were having that fucking chat tonight. Probably on the way home when I drove her and her crazy friend back to our apartment building. I have to tell you, I was really starting to like this new address of mine.

Jules and her bright
ideas.

Instead of coming up with a good, valid and non-offensive reason for not turning up at Max’s gig, she instead convinced me to go but bring reinforcements—her. Because I couldn’t possibly get into trouble if she was standing beside me. Chances were that any trouble we got into would be engineered by her, and she was supposed to be on my side.

We’d arrived late, the should-we-shouldn’t-we taking up valuable time, stepping into the club just in time to see the start of their first song. The crowd that would be reasonable for any Saturday night, soon swelled as talk that Cloak and Dagger was Black Addiction incognito spread.

People packed into the room, our great position toward the back center of the club was forfeited as assholes squeezed in front of us. And all of them seemed to suffer from giant disease, which meant I’d occasionally need to elbow people just to be able to see. It really did suck that even with the added heel ratio, we were relegated to peeking through gaps between people’s heads.

But it didn’t matter. We’d heard the whole thing. The prized glances we’d been able to steal through the crowd an amazing visual—each one of them awesome. I was so glad I had listened to my instinct—and Jules—and come to see the show.

They had always been good.

It had always been Max’s intention to turn pro, the seedy bars and clubs just a stepping-stone until they did. But seeing the morph from then to now was truly mesmerizing. They were . . . amazing. And they sure as hell deserved their success, the roaring response they got, proving it.

And just like every time I’d watch Max play, my heart squeezed with pride. Not because I felt I’d had a hand in it, but just because he’d made it, like he said he always would. In our own way, we both had.

Which was why even though I’d given myself a pep talk I was having a hard time keeping to the plan. The one where I told him that despite our sexy-time last night—or this morning if you wanted to get technical—we were going to keep it more above the covers for the future. It was better that way, less complications. Besides I didn’t want a no-strings sex-only relationship with Max and I was fairly sure that was all that was on the table. I wanted to be his friend, one that didn’t sleep with him every time she got within sniffing distance. The idea was losing its appeal the longer I looked at him and when he touched me it took every ounce of willpower I had not to jump into his arms and make out with him. In front of all these people. Like I would have five years ago.

Thank God for the band. My mouth kept busy keeping my attention safely in their direction, the old connections rekindling with very little effort. It was like I’d almost never been gone, the ease of each conversation making it easier to forget the man I wanted to lick from head to toe was standing not more than two feet away. All was going well too, with affectionate hugs exchanged. All until I mentioned babysitting Angie’s little boy.

Not that the offer wasn’t genuine, but I’ll admit that the loved up feeling in the room had me lose control of my mouth. The spur of the moment decision not really thought out.

“Ladies, your drinks.” Max returned from hunting and gathering, a handful of longneck beers, his bounty. Jules’ request for beverages had bought me more time to get my mouth back under control.

“Thanks.” I took one without making eye contact while trying to keep my libido in check.

Not that I believed that
not looking
at him actually guaranteed anything, chances were that given half a chance I was still going to end up naked in his bed. Which is why I brought in reinforcements. Jules—my secret weapon—who was doing a wonderful job at slipping in between Max and me whenever he got within touching distance. And it wasn’t his hands I was worried about.

The conversation continued without me as the cold crisp pilsner slid down my throat, my eyes happening to stray while I tried to focus on what was actually being said. Not that I had planned where they might end up, the silly things having a mind of their own as they roamed without purpose. There was no need to guess where they landed.

They had started at his heavy, thick-soled boots doing the slow tilt as they traveled up his body. His denim clad legs the next part to get my attention, my trip pausing when it got to his strong thighs.
Oh, Yes.
I tried not to lick my lips as I continued further north. The fly of his jeans was doing a freaking magnificent job fighting to keep all of
that
contained. And had it not been completely inappropriate I would have searched the label so I knew best where to direct my admiration and respect.

But it wasn’t just the jeans that got all the praise; the cotton of his T-shirt stretching out, wrapping around his chest like it was hanging on for dear life. The hard lines of his chest and abs begged to be unwrapped. Which I would have happily done, it would be the compassionate thing to do.

And all of this would have been fine—the silent appreciation of his fine form—if I had stopped there.

Which I hadn’t.

Oh shit.

Busted.

His eyes locked on mine, the raised eyebrow and smile hinting they had been watching the entire time.

And because the universe seriously hated me or had an extremely warped sense of humor, Jules picked that exact moment to excuse herself to go to the bathroom. Leaving me there to deal all by myself.

If she’d only had the call of nature a second or two earlier, it could have been my out, but noooooooooooo she had to wait. Her announcement missed as Max’s and my eyes tangoed in a heat.

“Something on your mind, Beth?” Max’s head tilted to the side.
Go on, tell me you weren’t just undressing me while everyone else was oblivious.
The taunt not needed to be said.

“Nope, nothing on my mind at all.” I tried to wipe all thoughts from my mind in case he had some freaky mind reading abilities. “Completely blank.” I shoved the beer to my lips so they’d stop moving.

The others—thank you, baby Jesus—hadn’t noticed. Each of them too involved with fans and their own conversations to worry about what I had been doing. All except Max, who had given me his full attention.

“Why don’t you take a walk with me?” He pulled the half-consumed beer from my hand and placed it on the bar.

I’d been paying so much attention to clearing my thoughts I hadn’t noticed his hand was now resting on the small of my back. Damn Jules and her need to pee. This was exactly why I had needed a buffer; I couldn’t be trusted to multitask.

“I probably shouldn’t, Jules might come back and not know where I’ve gone.” Could I have given a lamer excuse? Probably not which is why I had said this one.

“I think she’ll work it out. It’s not like you would leave without her.” Max’s hand hadn’t moved, nor had his intention. “Besides, we’ll probably be back before she is.”

“Don’t do it
,” my brain screamed, but neglected to give me one workable excuse.

“If we’re not going to be long—”

“We won’t.”

My head nodded before my mouth could answer. Not that there was ever any doubt on what that answer would be. Which is why I was here in the first place, my inability to resist whenever Max was added to the equation.

“Just this way.” His hand guided me through the sea of people and to a narrow closed door. The handle opened as soon as he turned it, his body stepping through the doorway first before mine obediently followed.

I expected it to be dark, a narrow corridor with dim lighting. And it was exactly how I’d imagined. A perfect venue for him to push me up against the wall and take my mouth like he had last night.

But he didn’t, instead continuing to walk until we got to another door, this one just as compliant as the first and with a quick twist of his wrist flooding the corridor with exceptionally bright light, the overhead LEDs blinding me momentarily as we stepped inside.

“Ummm . . .” The dots from my vision had started to fade, the room obviously some sort of backstage area if the couch and the two tired chairs were anything to go by.

“I have a strong case of déjà vu.” His hand moved to my arms and held me still, even though I had nowhere to go. With the door directly behind him, I’d have to tackle him to leave and I wasn’t that strong. “Oh, I know why. We had a very similar conversation earlier today.”

“I’m confused.” I didn’t even bother trying to lie. I mean, what was the point? I was terrible at it. “I’m attracted to you, obviously.”
Really obviously
. “And I don’t regret last night, but I think it meant something different to you than it probably did to me.”

Not that I had fully fleshed out what it had meant to me. But the common theme was that while it had been mind-blowing—exactly what my body needed—it wasn’t going to work for the other part of me. My brain.

“That would mean you knew what I thought.” He circled his hands around my waist. “And seeing as you haven’t asked, I doubt you do.”

“Maybe. So I’m guessing. But I know that continuing to do what we did would be a bad idea.”
Well done, me. Stick with the script.
Sex equals bad, even if it felt good.

Max didn’t seem to be getting the message nor was he removing his hands. Of course I hadn’t asked him to, my body still torn I was making the right decision.

“And how did you come to this wonderful conclusion?” I was surprised the heat from his eyes alone hadn’t burned the clothes right off my body. And while I hadn’t asked him what he wanted, he was making it very clear.

“It’s so hard to think when you look at me that way.” I swallowed, the effort making it hard to breathe.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t think.”

“No, no.” My hands flew up between us like that would be a sufficient reliable barrier. “I want to really try something new, Max. I want us to do this without the sex this time. I want us not to end up back in a relationship.”

It was the first time ever we had talked about breaking up or getting back together.

First time
ever
.

Which was huge considering the amount of times those things happened. But this was important. Adults talk things out, we were more than two wandering bags of hormones.

“We both know we’re not going to avoid each other.” Nor did I want to. “Clearly I suck at all of this considering I am probably sending mixed messages.” Sleeping with him then pulling away. Yeah, it wasn’t the right thing to do.

“But this time it has to be as friends. Only friends. Ones that don’t kiss and don’t end up in bed together.”

I was glad when I’d finally said the words. Glad that I hadn’t punked out like the last few times and glad that it was finally my brain running the show.

“I want you.” And judging by the way he was looking at me he most definitely meant it. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t so it’s easier for you to hear. I want all of you. Unrestricted.”

“That’s not on offer, Max. I’m sorry.” I had to look away.

The scrambled thoughts in my head jostled for position as I continued to fight an internal war. Max and I weren’t meant to be. Not romantically. If we were supposed to have worked out, it would have happened already.

“Give me a good reason.” His hands moved to my jaw and brought my attention back to him. “And not some crazy thought process where you assumed you knew what I thought.”

“Because seeing you again made me realize how much I missed you.” The words were so hard for me to say. “How much I still care about you and if we do this again, I just know it’s going to end badly. We had a good run. If we do it and then—then it finishes, I know it will be forever. I’m not ready for that.”

“You can’t know the future, Beth.” His voice was soothing as he swept of his thumb along my jaw. “You can’t know what is going to happen.”

“It’s because I
don’t
know what’s going to happen that it has to be like this. I was worried about coming here tonight. Worried about seeing you because I knew I’d want to kiss you and I don’t want to feel like that. I want us to be able to see each other. To be friends.”

“Oh please tell me you aren’t giving me the let’s be friends speech.” The chuckle bubbled in his throat. “We’ve always been friends. And it always ends up as more.”

“Just not
this
time.”