Stand (Black Addiction Book 3) (15 page)

If I had any game at all it was truly MIA, my mouth doing its best to make me sound like a moron. Or a pussy. Maybe because I was and couldn’t fess up that the reason I was so fucking desperate to see her had nothing to do with us being
friends
. Yeah, there was always that.

“Is everything okay? Nothing’s wrong is there?” Her beautiful eyes nailed my ass, my attempt at it’s-all-good failing miserably.

Not like I could tell her the truth.
It’s been exactly one week since you called time out and I can’t fucking do it.
Like that wouldn’t get her power walking in the opposite direction.

“No, but I need to work.” Not like it wasn’t the truth. “If there was any way around it, I’d change it in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would, and thanks for stopping by and telling me.” She gave me a beautiful smile, and I reminded myself that kissing her would not be a good idea.

“Where’s Jules?” The distraction needed if I was going to keep my hands to myself. “You going home by yourself?”

Her usual sidekick was nowhere to be seen. Odd considering they both taught at the same place and lived at the same place. You would think they’d share the commute.

“She got the stomach flu, it’s not pretty so had to take a sick day. Needless to say I’ll probably be coming solo tomorrow.”

Well, that answered that. And I liked Jules, but wasn’t I just too fucking pleased that her bestie wasn’t going to be joining us tomorrow. Beth without the entourage equaled damn awesome by anyone’s definition.

“I’m glad you’re still coming.”

She had a couple of valid excuses to cancel—the sick BFF the most obvious—so that she was still planning on showing up made me want to fist pump.

“Of course I am, we made a pie deal. I can’t back out on that.”

I didn’t care what deal it was, I was thankful. And I’d take my chances where I got them. Including the one that had unexpectedly presented itself. Girl needed a ride home, dude with a car standing right there. It was a beautiful thing. And as fucking
awesome
as it was standing on the sidewalk outside the upscale school that she taught at, I’d rather have her inside my ride. It would give me more time with her too. Desperate much? Yep, pretty sure I already fessed to that so no point hiding it now.

“Can I give you a ride home at least? Unless you were going somewhere else?” In which case I’d slap on my chauffeur hat and take her wherever she wanted. No problem at all. I had a full tank of gas and no issue being late. Considering I had reworked my plans for the band, they could deal.

“Nope, home is good. And I’d love that.” She smiled as I opened the car door and watched her slide in.

Great.

The long way home it was.

Jules was still sick.

Whatever demon had possessed her wasn’t letting her go just yet. It was like the exorcist, but with better hair. The last twenty-four hours far from pretty as she spent some quality time camped out on the bathroom floor connecting with Jesus.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything before I go?” I cracked open the bathroom door just enough to toss her a Gatorade and bottle of Clorox. I really hoped she didn’t get the two confused; one call to the Poison Information Line was enough for one lifetime.

“No, no get out of here before I infect you with the plague.” She waved me off, her arms flapped wildly in front of her as she opened the Gatorade. Good, she got the right one. “Go live your life, be happy. See hot men on stage.” She laid her head on her arm dramatically. “There’s no hope for me, but you still have a chance.”

She really had missed her calling. My head shook as I watched the theatrics on my bathroom floor, resisting the urge to tip her.

“Call me if you need anything.” I gave her a wave from the doorway, short of sitting down in the hall and watching, there wasn’t anything more I could do for her. And besides, I really wanted to go.

My nerves jangled wildly as I hopped into a cab, the ride not taking as long as I’d thought it would. The traffic gods had smiled on us, the cab pulling up to the destination just as they were letting people in the door.

Ordinarily, I hated to be among the first few people in the club, especially if I was alone. The awkward standing around while waiting for a band to go on sucked. But I wasn’t making the same mistake as last time, crawling in at the last possible minute and getting stuck towards the back. Nope, not this time. I wanted a prime view and a spot right up front, which is why I sashayed my butt to Max’s side of the stage and planned on waiting it out.

I knew he wouldn’t be out in the bar till later; the undercover band idea only worked if the band remained
undercover
until they hit the stage. But just knowing he was somewhere close gave me a cool shiver down my spine. I was excited to see him play.

“Can I buy you drink?” A voice startled me from my staring competition with Max’s mic stand. Like if I had looked hard enough, he might appear on stage sooner.

“Ah, no thank you.” I blinked trying to smile politely. “I’m meeting someone.”

“My loss then.” He gave a broad smile; his blue eyes twinkling like they’d been retouched with Photoshop. He walked away, probably to go find a more willing participant.

Drink guy hadn’t been ugly. His well-maintained body was dressed in classic, neat casual clothes that probably cost more than my rent. Armani? Tom Ford? He looked good and he knew it. And a few weeks ago I would have been interested in that
drink
, but I wasn’t anymore.

He did highlight a valid point. That I was standing in a bar with no drink. Actually, it might be a good idea if I avoided the alcohol all together. And it wasn’t because I was worried about some creeper coming on to me. No, the real reason was I didn’t want anything to dull my senses, I wanted to enjoy every second without the warm haze of alcohol around me. Besides Jules wasn’t riding shotgun to make sure I didn’t make a fool of myself, so it was better I didn’t take a chance.

It seemed like forever. My toe tapped nervously on the floor as the overhead lights dimmed. The crowd didn’t stop talking. Their loud voices tangled in the air as they waited to welcome an unknown bar band,
Dirty Secret,
they’d
never heard of before. I smiled in the secret knowledge that they would soon find out that their low expectations couldn’t be further from the truth.

Rusty’s guitar rang out in the dark; a single strum before the wall of lights above them ignited and flooded the stage. Their little
secret
revealed.

The crowd erupted, realization sinking in that instead of some dime store rejects, they were getting an intimate show with Black Addiction. And it didn’t take long before the crowd doubled, social networks spreading the word #TheyDidItAgain.

Seeing Max on stage never got old. It got better and better each time, his charisma winning over the audience as much as his playing. He oozed sex. The subtle nuances in the way he moved to the stroke of the strings on his bass—completely flawless. I’d felt firsthand how powerful those fingers could be, the sweet music he was teasing out of his bass not even close to what he’d been able to tease out of me.

Girls pushed against me as they tried to get closer, reaching out their hands with illicit intentions. The band laughed as they continued to play. Each song fed into another, and yet still the crowd demanded more.

And then it was finally over.

The house lights fired up again, as did the DJ music, and the crowd finally gave up the one-more-song they’d been chanting. And while the non-alcohol ban was still in place, if I didn’t get a drink of something soon I was going to pass out. I was lightheaded, either from the heat or from the Max vortex of awesome—it could go either way.

“What are you having?” The bartender leaned across to try and hear me over the noise.

Stick to the plan, stick to the plan.

“I’ll just have a Coke.” Thankfully my mouth didn’t let me down.

My heart beat wildly in my chest as Max and the band approached the bar. Their journey slowed by the crowd wanting a photo or an autograph, smartphones working overtime in order to capture the magic.

I hung back and waited, allowing Max to do his thing. My smile widened as he caught sight of me, a matching one of his own shot back in my direction.

He apparently didn’t have the same idea about waiting, pulling me into a hug as soon as he was close enough. “I got to see you this time. I liked you looking at me.”

“Do you realize how creepy that sounds?” I laughed as my arms wrapped around him, resisting the urge to bury my head in his chest. Me and my stupid ideas about keeping it non sexual. For a smart girl, I could sure act dumb.

“Nah, it’s more conceited than creepy.” He laughed back. “But if you want creepy, I’m sure I could think of something.”

“Beth.” Rusty pulled me from Max’s arms and into his own. “How many times do I have to tell you? Bass players are just guitarists that didn’t make it. You’re better off just watching me.” Rus was riding solo tonight, his girlfriend nowhere to be seen.

“Your ego sure hasn’t gotten smaller.” I returned the hug before giving him a playful shove. “I’m surprised it hasn’t got its own zip code.”

“Hey, Beth.” Another hug, this time from Joey. “Don’t listen to either of these jerk offs. Everyone knows the drummer is where it’s at. We can be hidden behind the kit and
still
get more attention.”

“Not a virtue, Joey.” I shook my head, not realizing how much I’d missed this, missed all of them. “Where’s Angie?” One Black Addiction member not accounted for.

“She had to sneak off early. Plans with the husband.” Max winked as he moved closer, his lips at my ear so I could hear him. “You should call her; I know she’d love to see you again.”

And now that he was no longer touching me, I really wanted it. To lay my head against his chest while he spoke, his arm slung around my waist like old times. It felt like it was the easiest thing to do, but he wasn’t mine anymore. A choice I’d made. But tonight I didn’t care. I was all about the prerogative to change my mind, and I didn’t care what people thought. Or if I had the right to do so.

“You were really great tonight.” My arms wrapped around his waist with no intention of leaving, a smile creeping on his lips. Good. He didn’t look like he was going to remind me we weren’t doing the touching thing anymore.

“Thank you.” He took his cue from me and let an arm move across to my hip, inching me in closer. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Not as much as I was enjoying it now.

“How’s Jules? Still sick?” he asked, my mind wander interrupted by important things. Like the health of my friend who I’d yet to think about.

“Deathly so. She’ll probably have perished by the time I get back.” I threw caution to the wind, silliness prevailing.

“That bad huh?” He grinned.

“Probably worse.” I giggled like an idiot. No shit, I’m pretty sure I threw my head back and everything.

“You’re not drinking tonight.” His eyes dipped down to my hands that were noticeably without a glass. The half-sipped Coke I’d been drinking abandoned earlier at the bar. “Anything I can get you?”

“Not at this bar, but if you take me home I can give you a list,” I whispered only half-joking.

“Sorry?” He lowered his head in an effort to hear me better. Or maybe he had heard, his
what-did-you-say?
more out of surprise than lack of volume.

“Nothing, it’s been a long week, so I thought I’d give the drinking a pass.” I completely chickened out and substituted for a more appropriate answer.

“Oh, well if you want to go, we can leave.” He looked around the crowded bar and then back to me. And he seemed serious too. Ready to throw in the towel all because I had agreed to let him drive me home and I was
tired
.

God, could he be any more thoughtful?

“We can stay awhile; I don’t mind.” I was so torn. Ready for the two of us to say our goodbyes and be alone, but knowing he should probably stay. It’s not like I was really tired, the bed I was looking to get in not my own.

Crap. Was I really considering it? Sex with Max again?

Did I break my own rules?

Would it just confuse us both?

Sadly, common sense wasn’t running the show tonight as I threw it all out the window. The old Beth pushed through the cracks, and the old Beth wanted Max.

Unfortunately,
stay awhile
was a very broad directive. Max was sucked from one conversation into the next, chatting amicably with fans. And why the hell shouldn’t he? After all,
I’d
said I didn’t mind; it’s not like he could mind read.

Finally, he either got the subliminal messages I’d been trying to send or exhausted people to talk to, and we said our goodbyes. My heart pounded so hard in my chest as he took my hand, I was worried he’d be able to hear it rattling around in my chest cavity. Or feel my hammering pulse that was racing out of control. All of which I was trying to hide as we walked out to a side street where he’d parked his car.
Nothing to see here, move right
along,
fooling no one as he kept looking at me strangely. Probably wondering if I was going to suddenly go into cardiac arrest on the short walk.

And thank god the car wasn’t far, his prized Corvette shining under a streetlight. Of course, the danger now was that I would throw him down on the hood so we could make out. The no back seat was a problem too. My smile tightened as he unlocked the car and held open the door.

Just get in and stop thinking crazy,
my subconscious rationalized; the rest of me convinced it wasn’t going to uphold their side of the bargain.

“You good?” He turned to look at me before starting the ignition. My crazy eyes as my internal debate wore on, not helping.

“Yep, all good here.” My head nodded, crazy smile joining crazy eyes in the worst display of
all good
I’d ever seen. Awesome, he was probably going to have me committed by the end of the ride, any seduction I was trying for failing miserably.

My eyes stayed glued to the window as the miles passed. My mouth stayed shut too, because I didn’t trust it. Not with words and certainly not if it got anywhere close to Max’s. It would be a mutiny—tongue and lips flying at him in reckless abandon. Oh, please lord, just let this ride end quickly.

When we finally arrived at our parking garage, I breathed a sigh of relief. My knuckles had gone white from gripping the upholstery so tight; I was sure I’d left nail marks in the leather. Shame considering I’d rather be leaving them in his back.
Just get out of the car, get out of the car
. My hand fumbled with the handle as I threw myself from the car before he’d even shut off the ignition.

He was probably thinking I was either A: acting like a basket case because I had completely lost my mind, or B: was acting like a basket case because I had completely lost my mind. In which case, he was probably going to kiss me goodnight and go on his merry way. So, this was totally going to be my move.