Standing By: A Knight's Tale #2 (9 page)

“Thank you for ruining my day, Hayley,” Mom spins around and as usual slams the glass door.

My limbs feel heavy and I have a difficult time trying to exhale all the air I hold. To top it all off there’s someone here so I can’t go into the bathroom. Or can I? Yes I can, I rush to it and lock the door behind me. The box is right where I always put it, under the sink. The internal discussion of doing it or not overwhelms me. I promised myself not to do it anymore, to deal with my problems through a different venue. But what venue?

“I’m still paying for my stupid mistake.”

As the blade slashes through the skin of my belly, their voices fade away, and the dizziness takes over. Like a junky getting her fix, I rest my head on the wall and enjoy the seconds of release.

*

“Pinch and pull
up, Hayley,” Mitch instructs me, as I try to create perfectly round rolls. “Keep doing it until it’s a perfect round shape.”

“I know, pinching and pulling.” I sigh; today I’m having a hard time interacting with him. On one hand, I had a bad night, tossing and turning thinking about my parent’s altercation and how Dad never said something like, “
You’re not the mistake
.” or “
I love you.”
or… Just thinking about it brings back the stomach pinch, heavy heart and the mass on my back that weighs more than a car. “Can you sprinkle more flour on top, please?”

“Where are you today?” I raise my gaze from the wooden board to his dark green eyes, trying to understand what he means. “I lost you yesterday, Muffin, between my family’s cake request and your family’s crazy scene.”

“You mean when my mother came on to you,” I stammer awkwardly. I start to regret saying it because I don’t know if he wants Mom and I’m about to put my foot on my mouth or what. I continue with yesterday’s events. “Dad calling her a slut and calling me a mistake? Or are you talking about the part where you left without even saying goodbye?”

“I had an emergency at
Alexander’s
,” He places a hand on top of mine stopping my pretend pinching and pulling. “I left a post-it on your monitor, I wished I had stayed. Really.”

“I’m not upset that you left, per se, it’s more like… I don’t know. You met them; it’s embarrassing and then you left without a word. It felt as if you wanted out, or that I’ll blame you for it. That’s why I avoid introducing my friends to my mother.”

“Because she ends up having sex with them?”

“There’s that. Are you going to—?”

“Damn, Hayley, that’s out of the question. I have nothing but respect for your mother.” I narrow my eyes. “Well, not too much respect after that scene but I wouldn’t sleep with her. We’re friends, right?”

“Not sure, you and your ego are extremely obnoxious on a daily basis.”

“My ego as usual bleeds from your comments,” He chuckles and I smile. “There, smile, check. Now continue pulling and pinching as I read my magazine.”

“You’re getting flour on it.” I complain.

“You said you already read it, Hayley, now let me continue learning how to lose those pesky pounds while eating what I like.”

“I don’t know if you’re mocking the magazine, or me.”

“No.” He closes it and I notice the corner of his lips slightly lift. “I’m mocking whoever wrote this article. There’s no way in hell women like to eat alfalfa sprouts as it says in here. No one likes that. What you like to eat is a subjective term. This Kwarovsky guy needs to learn what women like to eat, then write an article. Why are you reading this? You need to eat real food.
Today’s Fitness
doesn’t talk about fitness, only diets.”

“You’re so not reading my other magazines.” I don’t even understand why he’s reading this one. I should place a yellow tape around my office that says
No Mitch Allowed
.

“Like
Unique Woman
?” He asks while wiggling his eyebrows. I feel the heat creeping through my face. “Certainly not. Since I don’t care about taking the quiz, ‘Does his size matter to you?’ but I am curious about ‘The biggest O yet.’”

“You read it, didn’t you?”

“No, only browsed it.” He bursts into a full-blown belly laugh. “So, little roll of dough, does size matter to you?”

I place my lip between my teeth and start fidgeting with it. How can I tell him that I don’t…? I haven’t… well… The term
saved by the bell
fits almost to a T. Except I’m saved by his ringing phone.

“What’s going on, asshole?” He answers the phone, then lifts his gaze and shakes his head. “I’m busy; I can be there in half an hour. Yes, doing my secret thing that I won’t tell you because I’m more important than you. Hey, those were your bride’s words, not mine.” Mitch places the magazine on one of the top shelves and walks around the working table to where I stand. “Half an hour, forty-five minutes. I have a few things I need to tie up before we leave for… yes, well you’ll have to repeat yourself. No, I’m not being difficult, I’m just making sure I take care of my… see you then, asshole.”

I take a side-glance at him, which is difficult when he’s standing behind me.

“Are you going to be okay without me?”

“Wow, conceited much?” I question his sanity. Why wouldn’t I be? “Mitch, you’re leaving for the day. Yes, I’m shaken up about my parents, that’s a daily thing for me. Funny, it hasn’t happened sooner to you and you’ve been visiting for about two weeks. I’m impressed.”

“That’s daily?” He takes a step back and stares at me in shock.

“Yes, and that was nothing. I think my mother controlled herself because of you or maybe her alimony check is due soon. Either way, things didn’t escalate the way they normally do. Now go and talk nicely with your brother.”

“My twin is being a pain in the ass; therefore, I’m entitled to be one too. As for leaving for only one day, I’m actually leaving for his bachelor party. I won’t be back until Sunday night or Monday. Will you miss me?”

“No.” I take a side step to look at his face.

“At least do something fun for once in your life, Hayley.”

“You know,” I tell him, deciding to give my weekend a chance. “I will have fun. Tonight I’ll map out a plan to enjoy a relaxing, fun weekend outside of New York.”

“Where are you going?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to never find out,” I beam, thinking about buying a few things for the trip. Perhaps even a new outfit and some killer sandals—with a heel. “Who knows, perhaps next Monday you’ll find a new and improved Hayley.”

We both laugh at the same time.

“If it’s not on the
To-Do List
, it won’t happen.”

“Or in my five-year plan,” I remind him. “Now, let me toss this dough away. It’s already crusty and will end up tasting like crap since you won’t be here to coach me.”

“I’m curious to know what this life change will be,” he snickers. “A new pen? No, I got it, a new notebook.”

“A new partner because you’re a nightmare.”

“If you replace me, Muffet, I’ll make your life miserable.”

“And what you’re doing right now is…” I wait for him to finish my sentence but instead he kisses my cheek.

“If you really go out of town, stay safe, kid. Call me if you need me.”

I watch him leave and wonder what it is that I can do in Vegas that’ll be fun and perhaps life changing. Get kicked out of the casino for counting cards or thrown into jail. Yeah, those are about the only things I would end up doing.

I can always lose my virginity to some anonymous hot guy that will search for me like Cinderella. The thought disappears as the bell announces the presence of a customer. No, instead, it’s my father and today he is dressed in a pair of slacks and button down shirt.

“Hi Pumpkin,” he greets me with a smile and removes his aviator sunglasses. “How are you today?”

I lift both shoulders and don’t say anything; instead I head to the kitchen for the buttercream spice muffin I saved for him earlier.

“You know I love you, right?” I stare at the muffin suppressing my thoughts and my tears. “Yesterday I wasn’t very nice with your mother and I apologized to her already. She’s the mother of my little girl and deserves respect. As for you, you’re not a mistake, cupcake. You’re my little piece of heaven who keeps giving me hope and happiness.”

Until the next time he decides to take another hit and call me irresponsible, useless, unreasonable or… the list can get long.

“Hayley, talk to me. What’s bothering you?” I can’t, it’s jammed right in my throat and refuses to come out, ever.

“Did you hear that Parker isn’t going to the wedding?” I finally find a safe subject or at least safer than talking about yesterday’s hurtful words.

“You shouldn’t go, cupcake, I have a bad feeling about it.”

“What can go wrong, Dad?”

I slam a hand on my mouth,
Hayley’s Law
. I hope I didn’t unleash the
Haylmageddon
.

Mitch

I
head to
the office to make sure all the pending issues are taken care of, as well as coverage for the restaurants schedules for the next two weeks. Tonight, all the Knight boys—as Mom calls us—are leaving for Vegas to celebrate Jake’s bachelor party. I assured Emma I’d keep Jake busy the next week while she takes care of any last minute wedding preparations. Not sure how Hayley will handle the two of us, but I’ll make it work. I snicker, remembering her saying she’d be going out of town. As if she would dare cross the Brooklyn Bridge alone.

“Knight,” I answer the phone while heading to the stairs of the subway and dodging a few pedestrians that walk without looking ahead.

“Do I prefer swordfish or halibut?” Emma is on the line. “They ran out of the organic salmon and I’m trying to get the closest fish to it.”

“Steelhead
,” I don’t say out loud. Neither of those she mentioned are close to salmon. It is probably the best answer, but I won’t start a two hour discussion about why I should’ve taken charge of the catering. A position I politely refused while explaining that it’s not my wedding, and I have plenty on my plate to take care of without sounding like a jerk. Love Mom, love Em, but I can’t handle their wedding mode.

“Halibut,” I respond because it’s the lesser of the two evils.

“Thank you, Mitchel,” she says, then mumbles something and hangs up without saying goodbye.

I decide to text my twin, who I’m about to meet at my office.

MAK:
On my way, Menu issues?

JAK:
Yes, this is worse than being in the middle of a trafficking cell trying to rescue some innocent. I made the mistake of telling her to change caterers and Mom called me insensitive.

MAK:
Did you handle the cake issue?

JAK:
Yes, the girl made sense and promised to bake Em one when she’s back from our honeymoon—free.

MAK:
That part I know, I meant if you found a new baker.

JAK:
I have no idea. Is it too much to ask for an elopement kind of wedding?

MAK:
Yes, both ladies will kill you. That’s why I’ll never marry—ever.

JAK:
You’re missing the torture of a well-organized wedding. See you soon.

*

When I reach
my office, Johnny informs me that my brothers are waiting for me in the conference room. I thank him and head to the fish tank, as I like to call it since the four walls are made out of glass, and it faces the Hudson River. I spot both of them speaking to each other and already wearing casual jeans and t-shirts. Nothing fancy, I have to change, I remind myself. Today, I had a seven o’clock video conference, followed by a visit to Hayley’s shop and now I’m here with these two clowns. I touch my suit pocket and am reminded about the jewelry store. I have to drop my grandmother’s engagement ring there to be sized. I’m planning on giving it to Emma as a wedding present. It’s not like I’ll ever use it for a future bride.

“At last,” Jake says when I open the door.

“What’s so important that you couldn’t wait to tell us during the flight or in Vegas?”