Stanton Bliss: Stanton (9 page)

“Fuck, I need you.” He growls around me.

I rip his head back by the hair, bending down to kiss him violently. “Shut up and suck me.”

Chapter 5

Natasha

I
t’s slipping.

The relief at being found alive, the elation to marrying my love, the mask. I feel as if I am locked in a room and poisonous gas is being slowly pumped in through a tiny hole, each hour that passes making it harder and harder to breathe, to carry on as normal. I look to Joshua who is naked and fast asleep next to me. My oasis in this desert. I love him so desperately.

Last night I woke to find him sitting in the chair next to our bed in total darkness, watching me silently. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. I knew exactly how he felt and I’d held out my arms for him. He came to bed and we held each other tightly. It was as if the tighter we clung to each other, the further we could push the darkness away.

If only.

We are both playing the game, living the charade that all is well, neither one of us wanting to spoil our honeymoon for the other. We’re refusing to let the trauma win.

My eyes go to the purple scar above his eyebrow. He didn’t have that before I went missing. How did he get it? What has he been through?

My thoughts go to last night when Joshua and I took Didge home after she fought with Ben. She was upset and crying, and it had been Joshua who took over the situation. He sat her up on the kitchen bench and made her tea. Mum heard us, got out of bed and came out to investigate and then he, Bridget and Mum sat on the kitchen bench while they drank tea and talked about anything except what had just happened. I stood silently in the corner as I watched their deflection. I felt as if I was hovering in the sky, witnessing them in the scene as they consoled each other over my death.

I close my eyes in pain, I hate what has happened to my family. I hate that they are so accustomed to deflecting pain that they do it without thinking. I get up to go to the bathroom and my thoughts cross to my precious sister, Didge. Her heart is broken, Ben doesn’t want her, and yet I can’t help but feel that somewhere deep down, he so desperately does. Why would he push such a beautiful soul away when I know that he loves her?

I look in the mirror at the scarecrow staring back at me and run my fingers through my lion mane of hair. I look terrible but I smirk anyway.

“Where are you, Presh?” Joshua calls out in half a panic.

“I’m here, baby,” I answer from the bathroom.

“Oh, ok.” He sighs as if relieved.

I walk out and fall into his open arms. He kisses my neck as he snuggles into me.

“Good morning, baby,” I whisper into is hair.

“Morning, beautiful.” He sighs contentedly. We lie still and he dozes back to sleep, but my thoughts keep wandering.

“Knock, knock.” Bridget taps on the door, still in her pyjamas.

I smile when I see her. “Come in, Didge.” I pat the bed next to me and she lays down beside me on top of the blankets.

“You ok?” I whisper.

“Yeah.” She smiles sadly. “I think your drama queenism is rubbing off on me.”

“I seriously doubt it. Nobody does it better than me.”

“Tash?”

“Yes.”

“I think I want to go home with Mum to Australia.” She sighs

My heart sinks. I knew this was coming.

“Its ok, baby. You do what you need to do.”

“I just don’t think it’s going to work with me and Ben.”

I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say.

“I don’t want to be around him. It just hurts.” She sighs

“Why don’t you stay with Adrian for a while? I know he would love to have you and then you won’t see Ben. What are you going to do at home? What about the police?” I ask.

“I don’t know.” She sighs, defeated.

“I just…” I hesitate. “I hate the thought of being alone over there.”

Her eyes hold mine. “Will you be ok?”

I smile.

“If I don’t come back with you will you be ok in L.A. on your own?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Her eyes hold mine and I can practically hear her brain ticking over.

I frown. “What?”

“Why are you so fine?”

I roll onto my back to escape her glare.

She sits up on her elbow to look at me. “Tash?”

“Stop it, Didge.”

“I’m serious, Tash. You normally freak out if Joshua doesn’t call you. How can you…” She stops herself as she tries to get the wording right in her head. “How can you go through what you have been through and be fine?”

I sit and jump over Joshua in a rush, and he wakes. “If you came in here to annoy me, you are doing a good job,” I stammer as I stand naked at the end of the bed in an outrage.

She lies calmly on her back and watches me.

“I’m serious, Natasha.”

“Stop it.” I stammer

“Why are you reacting like this? Why are you so angry? I just asked a question.”

“Like what?” I yell.

“Not now, Bridget.” Joshua snaps. “Don’t upset her.”

“I’m not trying to upset her. I want to hear about what she went through, I want to know how she escaped. I want to talk to my sister about her hurt.”

“Get out.” I cry.

Joshua sits up but can’t get out of bed because he is naked underneath his sheet.

“Bridget!” he snaps.

“Joshua, stop it. She’s acting weird. Why isn’t she telling us anything and over analysing everything?”

My eyes fill with tears as I hear my heart beat in my ears. The tightening in my chest returns.

I storm into the bathroom and slam the door shut.

“Good fucking morning, Bridget,” Joshua sneers. “We were having a nice lie in.”

“Shut up,” she hits back.

“Could you not let her wake up before you started that shit.”

“Start my shit. Are you kidding? You are as bad as her. You nearly fucking killed yourself a week ago. You’d be dead if Nicholas hadn’t put you into protective custody.”

“Get out!” he barks.

I slam my hands over my ears and start to rock. Oh no. No. I close my eyes as panic starts to run through my bloodstream. Joshua nearly killed himself? Oh my god, I can’t deal with this. I start to pace in the bathroom and shake my hands in a panic.
Calm down, calm down, just calm fucking down.
I turn the shower on as hot as I can stand it, get in and slump to the floor as I try to slow my breathing. After roughly ten minutes, Joshua walks in and squats down next to the shower.

His worried eyes watch me and he puts his hand onto my knee. “You ok, Presh?” he asks gently.

I nod but don’t answer.

“Are you going to stay in here for a while?”

I nod and put my hand over his on my knee.

“Do you want me to get you anything?”

I shake my head and he stays, just watching me.

“You’re scaring me,” he whispers.

I stare at him through blurry eyes, unable to answer. I’m scaring myself.

He gets in with me and wraps his arms around me and as we stand underneath the hot water for an extended time.

Eventually in the safe haven of my love’s arms, I feel my stress begin to disappear.

Joshua

“Hello, can I speak to Nelson, please?” I ask Tiffany.

“Hello, Joshua,” he answers. Nelson is my Human Resource Manager and I need him to follow something up for me.

“Hello, Nelson. I just wanted to thank you for your support over the last few months.”

“That’s ok, sir. I’m so happy that things turned out the way that they did.”

I smile. “Me, too.”

“Listen, I need you to do something for me,” I tell him.

“Of course.”

“I was in prison with a young man. I don’t know his surname, but his first name was Jarvis.”

He hesitates.

“He was in the cell opposite me and has been playing on my mind lately. He’s very young, only just eighteen years old, I’d guess.”

He hesitates again and I find myself smiling. This is one random phone call.

“I was wondering if you could ring the prison and find out more about him. Maybe see what his offenses are.”

“Um, Mr. Stant–”

I cut him off. “If
you
can’t get any details, ask the security team to do it for me.”

“Ok. Why do you want these details, if I may ask?”

I shrug. “I’m not even sure yet. Let’s see what he has done to get himself in prison first.”

“Ok, sir. I will keep you posted.”

“Thank you.”

I hang up and blow out a long breath as my concentration is quickly stolen with thoughts of Natasha. How do I help her when I’m struggling myself? I have no idea how to navigate through this mess and work is the last thing on my mind.

Knock knock.

“Come in.”

Brock walks into my office and takes a seat. “Hey,” he says in his best carefree voice.

I sit back on my chair. “You know why I wanted to see you?”

“I do.” He pauses.

I raise my eyebrows in frustration. “Well?”

“I’ve been thinking about it.”

I roll my eyes. “Just fucking spit it out.”

“I don’t like the thought of working for you.”

“You won’t be working for me. The company would be yours.”

“But I would know that it’s really yours.”

I shake my head. “Look if you don’t want it then I will offer the deal to someone else. I don’t give a fuck who does it. I want him caught and I thought with you know what you are doing, you would jump at the chance.” I shrug my shoulders. “But obviously not.” Fuck he pisses me off.

Brock holds up his hands in defence. “I’m not saying I don’t want it, I’m saying I would like a loan for two years and then I’ll pay you back.”

My eyes hold his. “You want to pay me for the business?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not taking hand outs from you.”

I think for a moment. “Sounds fair.”

“And I have one specification.”

“What’s that?”

“I want Jesten Miller to work for me.”

“Fuck off. No. I won’t stand for it.”

“He would be good.”

I glare at him. “He wouldn’t fucking survive because I would kill the prick.”

“Why, because he wants Natasha?”

“Just fucking shut up. I hated him even before he wanted my wife!”

He smirks. “You like saying that, don’t you?”

“What?”

“My wife.”

I smile. He’s got me. I do say it a lot. “It has a certain ring to it, I have to admit.”

He holds out his hand to shake. “So, it’s agreed? I will pay you back in two years?”

I nod. “Deal.”

“And Miller comes to work for me.”

I shake my head. “No.”

“You said it was my business.”

“I’m not giving him one fucking cent.”

“He knows Allender and he knows the case. He wants his accomplice caught as much as you do.”

I think for a moment.

“You won’t even fucking see him.”

My eyes hold his. Fuck, I don’t want that asshole anywhere near my family.

“He helped us when you were in prison, you know.”

I roll my eyes. Cameron and Ben have already told me this.

“I didn’t ask him to.” I snarl.

“He did it for Natasha, not you.” I narrow my eyes. “Just like he will find Allender’s dodgy mate.”

“Fucking hell,” I snap. “I really don’t want him around.”

“Natasha is living in L.A. – he won’t see her at all. Stop being a fucking baby.”

I scrub my hands up and down my face in frustration.

Ben comes to the door. “Can I see you for a moment, Stan?”

My eyes flick to Brock. “Yes, we are done here.”

“So, we have a deal?” He asks.

I blow out a breath in frustration. “All except Miller.”

Brock’s eyes flick to Ben. “Miller would be good working for me, don’t you think?”

Ben nods in agreement. “Yes.” He looks around nervously. “I wanted to speak to you together, actually.”

I frown.

“Brock.” Ben swallows as if nervous. “I would like to take up the job offer to come and work for you.”

My face drops.

“Yes.” Brock smiles.

“No.” I snap.

“Joshua, I’m handing in my resignation. After everything that has happened, I just feel…”

“You are not going anywhere!” I snap. “This has to do with Bridget.”

Ben drops his head.

“Why? What’s going on with Bridget?” Brock snaps as his eyes flick between the two of us.

Oh, shit! He didn’t know. Here goes that protective fucking brother act again.

“Nothing,” Ben says with a snarl.

“Yeah, good. There better not be.”

“Can you just get out?” I roll my eyes. “You are so fucking annoying.”

“You are kind of fucking annoying yourself. I’m hiring Miller.”

“No, you are not.” I point to the door. “Get out.”

“I’m ringing him now.”

“Don’t you dare.” I snap.

My brow furrows as a thought crosses my mind. “Did you hook up with Abbie last night?”

He stills. “Possibly.”

“And?” I question. Abbie has been the topic of many conversations in the past between Cam and Ben.

Brock winks mischievously.

My eyes meet Ben’s. “I knew it.” He smirks.

I shake my head. “Don’t tell Tash and Didge. They will lose their shit.” I sigh.

“Yeah I know. I told Abbs not to say anything.”

“Good,” I reply.

Ben smiles. “Cam’s going to be filthy.”

I laugh. “He so is. I haven’t let him near her.”

“Yeah, well, keep it up. Hes not having her.” Brock snaps

I put my hands on my hips. God, this is going to end badly, but I don’t care as long as it isn’t my brother. My attention turns to Ben. “Take a seat, mate.”

Brock goes to walk out. “Come and work with me Ben. Miller
is
coming,” he calls over his shoulder.

“Out!” I bark, before I sit on the edge of my desk. “What’s going on?”

Ben looks at the ground. “I think it’s best if I resign.”

“Best or easier?” He doesn’t answer. “Why can’t you make this work with Bridget. You care for her, right?”

“She deserves better.”

I shake my head in annoyance. “That’s not your decision to make. Ben, your old life is over. You need to let the past be the past and focus on the future.”

“I don’t see us working out in the long run.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“We’re too different.”

I pause, knowing that’s bullshit. “So, you are going to throw away your job, just because of some chick?”