Star Kissed (17 page)

Akkadi rested his hands on her hips, surprising her. He leaned into her, palms sliding around her to rest on her abdomen with a level of possessiveness she wasn’t expecting. Her breath stuck in her throat for a long moment, and she reminded herself to breathe.

“It does,” she said. With some hesitation, she let her body rest against his. “War does terrible things.”

“It is its nature to do so,” he said softly. “I can save your people, but I can’t return the planet to what it was. There’s too much damage.”

“You have no idea how beautiful it was when I left it,” she said hoarsely. “The skies and ocean were blue and the land was filled with people and animals and trees …” she drifted off. Tears formed at the memories of her home.

Akkadi’s grip around her tightened, and he rested his chin against her temple, gazing out at the Earth as if he, too, was able to imagine what it was once like. The sense of safety and peace she experienced whenever they were this close descended over her. She relaxed in his embrace, uncertain how long this mood of his was going to last but grateful for it while it did. She hurt too much right now to send him away.

Grounded once more, she released a deep felt sigh, wishing her relationship with Akkadi was this easy all the time. Her attention went to the Earth.

She wasn’t certain what disturbed her more: that the planet was beyond repair or someone like Akkadi was responsible for protecting what remained. It struck her that his coldness towards her was at odds with his alleged attempts to preserve the home and people he was too proud to admit were his, too.

Then again, if it was a duty, he was probably more than eager to perform it.

The silence was thick. Whenever he was around, her skin grew sensitive in anticipation of his touch and her body too warm for clothing. She was overly aware of his breathing and any movement he made.

“Can you take the people somewhere else?” she asked, trying to rein in her body’s response to him. “Another planet like ours?”

“I’ve searched,” he replied. His tone was low and warm, unlike their last exchange. “There are several suitable places for a colony. I had hoped to cure the disease first so as not to transplant it with them.”

“I don’t get you, Akkadi,” she said. “Why do you fight for humans? You clearly can’t stand us.”

“It is my duty,” he said.

I barely know you, and I’m sick of your duties!

“The Naki took an interest in the fate of humans long ago. We are responsible for their welfare.”

“Your mother is human,” she murmured.

“She told you this?”

Mandy nodded. One of his hands went to her hair, and he freed the pins in her bun. She was still, confused that he touched her at all. He untwisted her hair with one hand, the other firmly on her lower abdomen to keep their bodies together.

“It’s my duty to her people, too,” he added.

“Humans
are
your people.”

“I am Naki.”

“You are more human than Naki.”

His hand paused in its movement.

“Don’t stop,” she murmured. “I like the way it feels.”

Akkadi ran his fingers through her hair with care, loosening the curls. Mandy didn’t know what to think of the aggravating man. Was he there because he wanted sex? What if he walked away again? She had never doubted herself but he was beginning to make her think she wasn’t nearly as hot as she thought.

He continued the gentle motion. She closed her eyes, calmed by the feeling of his fingers working through her hair.

“My mother tells me my cousins have offered to take you as mate,” he said coolly. “Have you chosen one?”

“No.”

“You should.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to, since I’m your consort,” she countered.

“I’ve been thinking about it.” He was quiet for a long moment. Finally, he spoke. “It is for the best that you mate with one of them.”

“What are you saying, Akkadi?” she asked in a hushed voice. “You can’t open the star gate? Even if I find you energy?”

“I can,” he replied. “But I won’t. You must make this your home. I cannot help you.”

“No, I will not!” Fire flashed through her. Mandy pulled her hair from his grip and moved away. She faced him, furious. “I’m going home.”

“If you don’t?” he asked, studying her. “What then?”

“You mean if you refuse to open the star gate?” she demanded. “Why did you make that agreement with me if you wanted to pawn me off to your cousins?”

“I am convinced it was poor judgment.”

His words chilled her desire. Mandy stared at him. He appeared to be serious, even with an erection that provided evidence that he was at least physically attracted to her.

Was he trying to hurt her? Angry about earlier? He didn’t want to open a star gate or sleep with her yet held her, kissed her, stroked her hair. The next minute, he was telling her to hook up with a cousin.

“Did I do something wrong?” she forced herself to ask. “I am just … lost here.”

“No. I made a decision hastily.”

“Akkadi, I want the chance to convince you to open the star gate. I want the chance to find you energy marbles so you can do it.”

Akkadi crossed his arms, studying her emotionlessly. She searched his gaze, struggling to figure out what made him keep throwing up barriers between them. She sensed she should’ve let him have her way with him earlier in the day because right now, his guard was up.

“I’ll be more Naki like,” she said quickly. “If you want me just to lay there or however Nakis have sex. I’ll do it.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want that,” he said. “Your fire does not suit me, but I wouldn’t wish you to change.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” she said, approaching him. “Akkadi, please. Just tell me what I need to do.” The idea he meant to break off everything with her – and crush her chances of going home – made her start to panic.

“You are upset.”

“No shit I’m upset!” she cried. “You’re ready to throw me out, and you’re my only chance to get home!” She was shaking. “If you didn’t want to sleep with me, why did you make an agreement?”

He said nothing.

Mandy thought her head was going to explode. She wiped her face, embarrassed to know she was crying in front of someone too cruel to care. She returned to the window and twisted her hair back up into a bun.

Akkadi caught her hands. She froze, unable to fathom what it was he still wanted.

“I prefer it down,” he said.

“I don’t care.”

“You just said you were willing to do what it takes to please me,” he said, amused. “Your hair pleases me. Touching you pleases me.”

She hesitated then released her hair. Her breathing was uneven, her heartbeat frantic. She hugged herself, feeling alone, desperate and baffled. Whatever he was doing, he was beyond her understanding.

Akkadi smoothed out her hair once more then let his large hands slide down her arms and settle on her hips. The heat of his touch sank through her clothing, and he drew her against him then released her. His solid warmth at her back calmed her.

“Why do you want to touch me then push me away then touch me again?” she whispered.

His arms circled her.

“I have not decided what to do with you,” he said, his words hot against her ear. “I am headed off-station for two days to negotiate a treaty.”

Her heart beat so hard in the following silence, she was certain it would burst from her chest.

“When I return, I will inform you of my decision,” he finished.

It was worse than a rejection. At least with a rejection, she would know where she stood with him. Now she had to wait two days.

“I don’t think I want you to leave,” she replied.

“My duty is-”

“I know.”

They stood in silence. He held her, leaning against her, and she almost believed he
wanted
to be there with her. Which meant he was about to walk out or say something stupid.

“I will think about our arrangement,” he mused. “You will think about something I wish you to.”

“Okay,” she said, swallowing hard. “What?”

“What if I told you that the amount of energy I need to open a star gate is equal to that needed to relocate the people on the planet?”

She was silent.

“I want you to think about
your
duty to your people,” he said.

“Is it true?” she asked in a hushed voice. “You can only do one or the other?”

“There is a possibility that this will become true soon. We are losing shards too quickly.”

“Hichele has energy marbles. If they are what they say they are, you can use them to open the star gate and use the rest of the … shard things to relocate the people,” she reasoned.

“Or, I could use the cells to relocate the people and the energy modules to cure their disease.”

Mandy stared at the planet. She couldn’t …
wouldn’t
accept the idea that she might never go home again.

“I don’t want you to have false hope of going home, Mandy,” he said. “I want you to understand what you’re asking me to do if I open the star gate, what it will cost me.”

Her emotions reeled. Despair collided with horror at the thought of opening a star gate only to forsake the planet.

“We will talk when I return,” he finished.

“Two days is a long time. Maybe I should become the consort of someone else while you’re gone,” she said with some bitterness. Fury filled her this time. Why did he wait until now to tell her this?

“No,” he said firmly. “You wished to please me. This is how. Tell me how you can ask me to open the star gate when I am trying to save your people.”

“
Our
people,” she corrected him. “You are as determined to deny who you are as I am to go home.”

“Perhaps,” he allowed. “We both have a duty to fulfill. Sometimes what we want and what we must do are not the same.”

Her heart was pounding again, and cold fear shot through her. She had the feeling that no matter what conclusion he came to while away, she was going to be the loser.

Chapter nine

Even as he said the words, he knew how cowardly he was. Two kisses with this woman, and he didn’t want his cousins even looking her direction. That they’d pursued him early in the day to request her hand or her body as consort made him furious. He’d never asked anything of the sort from his cousins.

Akkadi dipped his head to the nape of her neck, dwelling in her scent. His human was beyond wild. She melted any restraint he had with her fiery kisses. He’d never wanted to leave the battle deck to make love to a woman, but he’d barely kept himself from pursuing her when she walked away earlier.

He loved her hair down, the loose curls bouncing with her movement. Her slave’s uniform was appropriate but far too revealing, clinging to every curve of her body. Her sorrow made him want to make love to her until she smiled.

Duty.

He couldn’t be absorbed by human emotion when he was waging battles and negotiating treaties. Every time he saw Mandy, he wasn’t able to get her out of his head for hours afterwards, something he couldn’t afford if he was to remain effective as a leader. He’d made a mistake by agreeing to an arrangement with her while he was betrothed to another. Yet, for the first time in his life, no part of him wanted to make things right. For the first time in his life, he felt
alive
every time he was near Mandy.

Her breathing was uneven; he sensed she was distraught.  

“How do you do this?” she asked suddenly. She raised her arm.

He took her arm. “Do what?”

“I had lashings. Now I don’t.”

“I brought a healer to you last night and the night before while you slept,” he replied. “Our healers are some of the best in the galaxy.”

“They need to be, if all slaves are treated like this.”

He frowned, disturbed by the idea someone was breaking the laws his mother created regarding the treatment of slaves.

“I’m going back to the slave quarters,” she said, pulling away from him.

Akkadi let her go. Was he grateful or frustrated?

Mandy didn’t look at him again but walked quickly towards the door. Akkadi watched her.

She knew nothing about Hichele and that he was promised to another. He didn’t think she would react well. He had every intention of telling her, the final means of driving a wedge between them. At the first sign of her distress, he wasn’t able to think of anything but soothing her. He didn’t want the beautiful woman to be sad or hurt or angry and yet, he caused all three in the period of a few minutes with her.

Duty was his first priority. He had one to his family, his people, the humans, even to Hichele. He began to think he had some sort of obligation to Mandy, even if she wasn’t his betrothed. He didn’t understand what this connection was, but it was strong. He wanted to see her taken care of and for her to stop worrying. Being with one of his cousins was the best option for this. It was also the option he liked least of all.

Akkadi had come to his quarters to change before boarding his craft, where Vekko awaited him. He did so quickly. Instead of heading straight to the bay, he went to his mother’s deck. She was awake when he entered, her hair down and her sleeping robe indicating he’d caught her soon after she woke.

“I hope I am not disturbing you, my queen,” he said with a bow.

“Never, my son,” she said, smiling. “You are leaving with Vekko for the Kini home world?”

“I am.”

“I wish you both safe travels.”

It was the typical exchange between them whenever he left. When he didn’t say farewell, she glanced up at him.

“May I be bold, my queen?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“You set my cousins on me.”

“You said you didn’t want Mandy for your own and took Hichele,” his mother replied calmly. “As a human, Mandy must be afforded an appropriate place in our society.”

“I know this.”

“I’ve told your cousins to wait two to three months, until you tire of her as your consort. If you wish to rid her from your bed sooner, I can arrange to have her mated to one of them tomorrow.”

“No,” he said quickly. “Two to three months is sufficient.”