Stardancer (Tellaran Series) (14 page)

If she were there, in a cage, in the street and saw her commander dressed like a princess and not lifting a finger to help, what would she think?

She swallowed hard.
I would think I was looking at a Commander who had gone to the other side.

Tedah’s face suddenly came into focus. He gripped the metal bars that held him prisoner, looking at her silently. 

And then he simply turned away.

“Please,” Kinara whispered hoarsely. “Please . . .”

Aidar, perhaps sensing just how close she was to losing control, led her back through the crowd. 

Once safely in their quarters, Kinara rounded on him. “Why didn’t you protect them? You promised to protect them!”

“And so I do protect them.”

“That’s what you call protection? Not even animals are treated so horribly!”

“I must give them to the Elders as I vowed.” He paused. “Unless they are unfit.”

She shook her head. “What do you mean, unfit?”

“To give an unfit gift shames the giver. I have promised them to the Elders but I cannot give them if they are unworthy.”

“Wait.” She pushed her hair away from her face. “If you can’t give them to the Elders, what happens to them?”

“I must keep them.”

Suddenly it all made sense to her. Yes, they were humiliated, it still infuriated her to remember. Being displayed as helpless objects of scorn would do nothing to raise the Az-kye opinion of Tellarans but in return for their freedom . . .

“You should have told me what you were doing to them! What you planned!” 

He glared. “And what would you have done to hear this plan? To see them so?”

I probably would have tried to take your head off, but still—

“How could you just let me just walk into that?” she demanded. “You should have warned me!  Prepared me before I saw them!”

“I am
sorry
,” he sneered and turned away.

The women did not warm to her in the following days. Az-kye seemed to be long on memory and short on forgiveness. She faced the women in the mornings, barely rested, and looked dully in the mirror at the dark shadows around her eyes while they dressed her. The women sat as far away from her as possible as they worked. Kinara had no knowledge of the crafts they did or the gossip they shared and had nothing to do all day but long for Aidar to return. 

Nor was it any relief when they retired to leave her alone with Aidar. They ate in silence. They never spoke unless absolutely necessary and slept far apart on the big bed. Hurt and angry, she avoided even looking at him.

Now Kinara sat at the dining table across from him in their apartments, picking at her food. 

She’d been waiting for an apology from him. A show of regret for making her see her people that way. Some peace offering.

He tried to shield me from it. That’s what he was doing and I shouted at him. I hurt him, I insulted him.

She put her fork down.

She didn’t understand Aidar and she didn’t understand his way of thinking, but she knew one thing, if this went on much longer there would be nothing to hope for, not even friendship, not even respect. 

“I want to thank you,” she said.

He froze, the goblet halfway to his lips.   

“Such is not necessary,” he said stiffly, drinking again.

“It is necessary. You have done what you promised you would. Maybe not the way I would want or approve of but you did.”

“You need offer no thanks. And as you have said, I have taken what you promised,” he sneered with a wave at the bed.

“I wanted you,” she said quietly. “You didn’t force me, Aidar.”

“You are
Tellaran
. I understand now that you would believe I did.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

He held up his goblet. “The binding wine.”

Her frown deepened. “What are you talking about?”

His eyes were bitter. “Your desire was in the cup.”

“The cup?” she wondered aloud. 

That wine they shared poured from the delicate crystal decanter, how he insisted they finish it, what had happened after . . .

Her eyes widened. “The wine was drugged? You made me drink a cup of drugged wine?” 

He scowled. “We both drank of it!”

“I can’t believe it!” She threw her hands wide. “I’ve been sitting around hating myself for calling you one lousy name when all along you were hiding this?”

“I hid nothing! What was done was proper.”

“Proper for Az-kye maybe!”

“Yes,” he nearly snarled. “Proper for a warrior to bind himself to a willing mate!”

Her palms pressed flat against the table, her throat tight. She’d been wild for him but even if that wine had heightened her desire it sure hadn’t created it. From his first kiss she’d been trembling for him.  And those other nights since, the love play that had made her so eager and the joining that she’d been longing for. 

She’d been aching for him but if anyone’s arousal had come out of that cup it was his. He’d drunk more of it than she had and he’d hardly glanced at her in days.

Gods, what if he never wants me again?

“I’m sorry,” she said and rushed on at his sneer. “You’re right. You did do the proper thing and I promised to be an Az-kye mate. I just . . .”  She made a frustrated gesture. “I don’t know your ways, Aidar. I didn’t know what to expect when I agreed to this.”  

“How fortunate for me you agreed at all. I shall endeavor to keep you.”

“I’m not trying to go back on my word here,” Kinara said, stung. “I made my promise. I’ll keep it.”

“Yes, I had forgotten,” he said harshly. “A cage full of Tellaran slaves makes me an acceptable mate.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

He dark eyes flashed. “And if they were to escape, think you to stay here with me?”

“I might if you weren’t so insulting!”

“You cannot even answer me! You do not even promise to
remain
with me!” He pushed away from the table. “I do not know why I ever thought you could be a proper Az-kye mate.”

The door slammed behind him.

She set her jaw. “We’ll fucking see about that!”

Aidar scowled.

If the guards found his daily presence at the window overlooking the slaves’ new holding cell unusual they wisely made no comment. 

He found the Tellarans’ behavior more baffling with each passing day.

The slender man with the warm brown hair appeared to be their leader now. The man broke up fights without a hint of righteous fury at such behavior in underlings. He cheerfully put an arm around the Tellarans’ shoulders with open affection an Az-kye warrior would not show his own blood brother. He sought to draw smiles and laughter from them when he spoke.

And the way they treated their females! 

Men would nudge women and the women nudged back as they laughed together. Seeing it for the first time Aidar turned to call the guards forward but at the woman’s amusement stopped. Was she his mate then?  

Later the same woman clasped hands with a different man, their elbows balanced on a table. They attempted to push each other’s forearms down while the other Tellarans gathered around and urged them on. The woman won the forearm pushing and there were both cheers and groans among the onlookers. 

Why would a man be so happily defeated by a woman in a physical contest? No Az-kye male, warrior or not, would shame himself by fighting a female.

At an utter loss, Aidar directed the guards to bring the brown-haired one to him.

The Tellarans reacted violently and the guards had already drawn their swords. Aidar cursed, turning to intervene. He could not allow these slaves to be harmed.

A sudden shout from the Tellaran man stopped the action cold. The Tellarans obeyed him instantly, albeit with shamefully obvious reluctance.

The Tellarans muttered but fell back as their leader was taken out. One of the women cried and was comforted by a male who, despite Aidar’s careful cataloguing, almost certainly could not be her own mate.

Shaking his head, Aidar went to the room on the lower level where the guards held the man between them.

The Tellaran’s head came up and his green eyes narrowed.

Aidar nodded to the warriors, dismissing them. The man rubbed his upper arms where the guards had clasped him.

“You are hurt?” Aidar asked.

The Tellaran pushed his hair out of his eyes. “You speak Tellaran.”

“A little. I will learn more.”

“You’re the one who took Kinara away on the ship. I saw you leading her around the other day.”

Aidar tried to puzzle this out. “Yes,” he said finally.

“Wow, I suppose it would be too much to ask if I could sit down. I can tell this is going to be a long torture session.”        

Aidar shook his head. “I will not harm you.”

The man’s eyes narrowed. “Then why bring me here? Need someone to chat with, Az-kye?”

Aidar nodded.  “This is so.”

The Tellaran blinked. “What?” 

Aidar tried again. “I would make you a friend.”

“Like you made a friend out of Kinara?” the Tellaran demanded. “Or are you just hoping to fuck her?”

“I have already done so, many times.” The Tellaran balled his fists, his face reddening, and Aidar frowned. “This is not the proper response?”

“I could kill you right now!”

Aidar shook his head. “This is why I would make a friend of you. I do not understand your ways.”

“Well, here’s some of the basics, Az-kye. You don’t kidnap us, you don’t hold us prisoner, and you don’t rape our women!”

Aidar’s eyes widened at this last. “I have not done such!”

“You really expect me to believe Kinara came to you of her own free will?”

“You say that my wife does not choose me?”

“Your wife?” The Tellaran blanched. “She
married
you?”  

“Yes.” Aidar caught the pain behind the anger in the Tellaran man’s eyes. “I think you had chosen her for yourself. Had . . . Had she chosen you as well?”

The Tellaran’s mouth tightened. “No.”

Aidar felt the tension in his shoulders ease. The worry of it—that her heart had already belonged to another—had knotted his stomach. Truly to her then, despite the kiss he had witnessed, this man was only a friend. “Among the Az-kye, when a woman chooses between two men, the one chosen offers good wishes.  I wish you find a mate worthy as mine own.”

“Thanks,” the Tellaran fairly spat. “I can’t tell you how much better that makes me feel.”

Aidar passed his hand over his eyes. He had just shown this Tellaran the respect and good manners he would offer a fellow warrior but had only offended him. “I do not understand Tellaran ways. I would learn them.”

“From me?” the Tellaran sneered. “You want me to betray my people?  Like hell I will.”

“I do not wish to hurt. I want to understand.”

“You might as well put me back in my cage right now.” The Tellaran folded his arms. “’Cause you’re not getting any help from me.”

“She . . . is unhappy.”

“So let her go.”

His mind flashed to her—his
Cy’atta
—her shining sky-color eyes, her laughter, the warm scent of her skin as he kissed her throat. The feel of her soft body beneath his, her delicate skin flushed pink as she arched against him in pleasure, the silken strands of her flame hair through his fingers as he spent himself in her . . .

The thought of losing her was like a blackened emptiness cracking open in his chest. 

“No,” he snarled.

“She’s Tellaran, she can’t be happy here. Kinara belongs with her own people.”

“She is Az-kye! She will be happy. I will
make
it so!”

“You think she’ll ever be happy while those people are held captive?”

“People?” Aidar stared. “Ah, you speak of the Tellarans.”

“Yeah, I speak of the Tellarans. If you think Kinara’s just going to forget about us, you’re crazy.”

“She will not forget. You will be her responsibility when we reach Az-kanzar. She will oversee your keeping until you leave.”

“What do you mean ‘leave’?”

Struggling with the Tellaran words Aidar explained his plan. 

The Tellaran held up his hand. “Hold on, you’re saying you’re going to let us go home? Why the hell should I trust you?”

“She will not be happy here until it is done. I will do it.”

“Let’s say I agreed to this.” The man shifted his weight. “What exactly would you want from me?”

“I would learn your ways. Your customs. I would understand Tellarans.”

The Tellaran studied him with narrowed eyes.

The humiliation of having to do this burned in his chest but he could not bear her loss—or her unhappiness.

“Help me,” Aidar said hoarsely. “
Please
.”