Starting Over (12 page)

‘But what about the scenery?'

Ruby picked the script up and put it back on the shelf. ‘You said yourself that Bailey said that you have until after half-term. That's years away. Now come on,' she said and they dragged me out to join them at the radiator spot. I didn't mind. In fact, I felt flattered to have been sought out by two of the coolest girls in our year.

‘So,' said Ruby. ‘Do you think I should go casual student with a touch of bohemia, or more preppy USA?'

‘Hmm,' I replied. ‘A touch of bohemia? That can be nasty, although I do believe you can get a cream at the chemist's for it.'

Ruby regarded me for a few moments as if she was sizing me up, and under the cold directness of her gaze, I wondered if
everyone in the school suffered from a sense of humour failure but then she laughed. ‘I get it. Hey. You're funny,' she announced.

Nicole gave a smug look. ‘Told you she was,' she said and gave me a conspiratorial wink.

Ruby nodded. ‘Case of bohemia. Yeah. Hah. I'll use that.'

‘We could try it to get off sports,' said Nicole. ‘Hey Miss, I'm coming down with a nasty case of bohemia.'

Ruby didn't laugh. She'd moved on. ‘So anyway, India Jane. What do you think? Casual, preppy or slutty?'

And so we spent the rest of the break discussing what look is best for a fourth date. We settled on casual with a touch of slut.

Although Ruby seemed especially keen to spend time with me and made me feel like my listening ear and my advice, in particular, were valuable, Nicole appeared to be more reticent.

‘Ruby may seem like she's listening, but she'll do exactly what she wants,' she warned me one afternoon as we made our way out of the school gates. ‘You wait and see.' I got the feeling that she was jealous about the way Ruby sought me out now and she was being pushed to the sidelines. I did what I could to ensure that Nicole was included in everything we did though, as the last thing I wanted to do was to cause trouble. My philosophy has always to be totally open about everything to do with mates, so towards the end of the week, I decided to come out and confront it.

‘Nicole, I really hope you are OK with me hanging out with you guys,' I said as we walked out of school after classes.

Nicole shrugged. ‘Yeah. Whatever.'

‘Are you sure? Because I'd hate to cause any friction.'

‘Ruby always does exactly what she wants, and she wants you around.'

‘I know. But what about you? What do you want? Are you OK with me coming along? I'd really like to be friends with both of you but I know some people would think two's company, three's a crowd.'

Nicole coloured ever so slightly so I knew that I'd hit a nerve. ‘Yeah. Maybe,' she said with a flick of her hair, something that I realised she did a lot when she was feeling uncomfortable.

‘I just wanted to say that it's your call. If you don't want me around, or if it's making you feel unhappy in any way at all, tell me.'

Nicole looked surprised, but didn't say anything for a few moments.

‘OK, think about it then, hey?' I said, and I turned to go off to join Dylan, who was walking on the pavement a short distance ahead with one of his many new mates.

‘No, India,' Nicole blurted. ‘I'm cool. And . . . thanks for asking.'

I turned back. ‘Cool,' I said. ‘So, mates?'

Nicole considered me, then nodded and smiled. ‘Yeah. Mates,' she said. ‘Course we are. And ... I appreciate that you asked. I mean with Ruby, much as I love her and you know I do, she can be a bit me me me. It's nice someone asked what I want for a change. Like, we both know that Ruby can be
demanding and a drama queen, yeah?'

‘Yeah. Teen Queen. That's Ruby.'

Nicole nodded. ‘Totally. Like some days it's like we live on Planet Ruby and no one else exists, yeah? So you and me should stick together.'

I nodded. That wasn't quite what I'd meant, and I certainly hadn't meant to get into slagging off Ruby, but I didn't want Nicole to think that I was being unnecessarily difficult.
Making new friends can be complicated,
I thought as I headed off.

At home, Aunt Sarah had pulled out a huge pile of art and design books for me to browse through and I found a number of different themes: goth, sci-fi, jungle, fairyland, Aztec, Chinese, beatniks, Renaissance, Victorian ... I was sure Barry would go for one of them. Over the next week, I took in pages and books to show him, but there was nothing that he saw that he found inspiring.

‘I'm not being difficult,' said Barry after I'd given him my latest batch of ideas (including nineteen-fifties' rock and roll), ‘but this is my first time at this so we need to do something original, yeah?'

‘Er, yeah,' I said.
Easier said than done,
I thought.

Some of the others from the group sent me their ideas and I dutifully passed them on, but there was nothing that grabbed Barry. As half-term loomed closer, I was starting to feel desperate. Joe wasn't any help. I saw him around school, but he didn't pay me much attention and I got a strong feeling that
Mia had told him to stay clear of me. He certainly wasn't his usual friendly self. Andrea seemed to be enjoying my ideas being turned down immensely and gave me a totally fake smile when I saw her in the girls' loos one afternoon. I gave her one back. It wasn't over yet. I'd find Barry his award-winning theme if it was the last thing I did. That would show her and him and the rest of them.

At the weekend, I went through the books that Aunt Sarah had looked out for me again. I also searched the Internet for good themes.

‘Call one of your new mates,' Dylan suggested, when I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot chocolate.

I called them both. The answering machine was on at Nicole's, and Ruby's mum picked up and told me that she'd gone out with Nicole. My stomach tightened when I heard that and a chorus of paranoid thoughts burst into my mind like water out of a dam.

Nicole told me that she was going to be at home all day Saturday and wouldn't be seeing Ruby.

Ruby said that she had family stuff on.

Maybe it was a last-minute thing?

I checked my mobile to see if there were any missed calls. Nothing.

Don't be so paranoid, India, we're only just new mates. There must have been loads of weekends when they did stuff together before I came along.

Why should they have invited me?

But maybe I've imagined that we're mates?

Or maybe I've only been half accepted, like a weekday mate. A school mate, but not to be seen out with in public at the weekend?

Oh no! Have I offended one of them? Nicole probably - she hates me.

Or are they just fair-weather friends and only there when it suits them?

Oh God, arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Shut up, mind, shut up all of you.

Something weird had happened to my dad.

I looked out of the window on Sunday morning to see him sitting cross-legged with a blanket over his head in the middle of the lawn.

‘What is Dad doing?' I asked Mum.

‘Meditating,' she said.

‘But that's
my
thing,' I said.

‘Not any longer,' said Mum with a smirk.

‘But why has he got a blanket over his head?'

‘Keeps out distractions, or so he says, and helps keep him warm.' She looked out of the window and up at the grey sky. ‘Anyhow, India, when did you last practise your meditation?'

‘Er . . . few weeks ago,' I lied.

Actually, despite my best intentions, I hadn't meditated since
I was in Greece. When I was over there, I went through an emotional rollercoaster after I'd been shown how to do it by Sensei, the teacher, and after struggling in the early sessions, I had realised that if you stick with it, you feel better. Like an inner battery has been recharged. Trouble was, I
hadn't
stuck with it. Life, school and finding blooming set-painting ideas had taken over.

I helped myself to yogurt and pumpkin seeds and grated pear (my latest favourite breakfast) and as I was eating it, the back door opened and Dad came in beaming and rubbing his hands. ‘Marvellous stuff,' he said.

‘But it's cold out there,' I said.

‘Bracing,' he replied. ‘We should do it together.'

No way am I sitting out in the middle of the lawn in October,
I thought,
and especially not with a blanket over my head. The neighbours will think we're bonkers.
‘Since when have you been meditating?' I asked.

‘Since I came to see you in Greece. I thought we could both do it. A bit of peace of mind never hurt anyone. I've learned all sorts of techniques since. I'm off into the front room now to practise another method.'

Off he went and, moments later, the sound of very loud humming permeated the ground floor. Kate and Aunt Sarah soon appeared.

‘What the hell is that din?' asked Aunt Sarah.

‘Dad. Meditating,' I replied.

‘Can't he do it quietly?' groaned Kate.

‘When has Dad ever done anything quietly?' I asked.

Aunt Sarah stormed out. ‘He will this. It's Sunday morning. Time for peace and quiet.'

I had to laugh as I straight away heard them arguing.
So much for meditation bringing peace,
I thought as Dad skulked in looking like a little boy who'd had a telling off. Aunt Sarah could be scary when she wanted.

After breakfast, Dad and I took a stroll down to Portobello Market, which was heaving with thousands of tourists and bargain hunters browsing the many and varied stalls there. It was great fun to push and shove with the rest of them and Dad bought me a rose quartz bracelet and he bought a drum (for yet another type of meditation he wanted to try).

‘Best experiment when Aunt Sarah's out,' I said.

He nodded and put on a Native American headdress that was lying on a nearby stall. ‘Big chief understand,' he said. ‘No noise Sunday morning. Big chief Sarah — she no like.'

I laughed. It was good to have him back.

When we got home after the market, Dylan informed me that I had a guest and that Lewis was entertaining her in the living room. I went in to find the most extraordinary sight. Ruby was lying on her back on the floor in front of the fireplace with her arms up behind her head. She had such a teeny top on that it had ridden up to show her perfectly flat stomach and the ruby navel stud she wore. Lewis was sitting squeezed into the corner of the adjacent enormous sofa, looking terrified. I almost burst out laughing when I saw their
body language. His arms and legs were crossed like he was trying to protect himself and keep her out. In contrast, she was lying in front of him, open as a book, as if inviting him to leap on top of her.

‘Ruby, what are you doing here?' I asked.

Ruby sat up immediately. ‘Hey, India. Yeah. We need to talk,' she said and glanced at Lewis.

Lewis was up and out in a flash. ‘No prob. Later.'

Ruby shot him a flirtatious look then, when the door shut behind him, she looked back at me. ‘Divine boy. Single?'

‘Sort of,' I replied. I didn't want to tell her that Lewis always had a girl with him but never seemed to commit to any of them.

‘Gorgeous, but all your family are good-looking,' she said as she indicated photos in frames on the piano. ‘So romantic. I had a nose about. Hope you don't mind.' And then, as if adjusting her role and remembering the part she wanted to play, she stared at the floor and looked sad.

‘So what is it?' I asked.

Ruby sighed. ‘Difficult.'

‘Try me.'

She looked directly at me. ‘OK. I'll just come out with it. So what have you been saying to Nicole?'

‘About what?'

‘Me.'

‘You?'

‘Me.'

I scanned my mind. ‘I ... I don't know. I can't remember. Why? What did she say I said?' I asked. I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

Ruby heaved a sigh again and leaned back against the arm of the sofa that Lewis had just vacated.
‘She
said that
you
said that
I
was demanding. Always going on about myself, like me me me, and that I acted like a teen queen.
Is
that what you think?'

I was shocked. That sounded more like what Nicole had said. I was about to protest and fill her in that it was her mate who had said that, but I bit my lip just in time.
Be careful,
I thought,
be very careful.

Ruby was waiting for my reply. I wasn't going to rat on Nicole. I had a feeling that she was trying to stir up trouble. I had come across girls like her before - girls who get you into their confidence, get you to open up, and then use it against you. I made a mental resolution never to open up to Nicole about anything that mattered. In the meantime, I decided that the best course of action was to make light of it. ‘Oh that,' I said. ‘Oh for heaven's sake, Ruby, you
are
a drama queen. Teen queen supreme. You
know
you are. I haven't said anything to Nicole that I wouldn't say to your face.'