Starting Over (18 page)

‘When thou dost speak such poetry, I cannot deny thee,' I said, so we tried on a few outfits (so we looked our best but casual), slicked on some lip-gloss, I put on some of the special cinnamon-based scent that Mum makes for me, Erin nicked a squirt of Aunt Sarah's Chanel No. 19 from her bathroom, then we set off to spy on Joe's house. He lives on the opposite side of Holland Park and, as far as I knew from hearing Aunt Sarah talk about them, he has an older brother who was at university in Leeds so it was just Joe and his parents living at home. We found a tall terraced house with black railings at the front, a wrought-iron gate and steps down to what looked like a basement kitchen. Number 143. We strolled past a couple of times, then we positioned ourselves in an antique-shop doorway about a half a metre down the road, to survey the house. Five minutes went by. Ten. Fifteen.

The shop door opened. ‘You girls want something or are you
just sheltering here?' asked an irate man with grizzly grey hair.

‘We're admiring your shop window,' said Erin, doing her best to look innocent.

‘For fifteen minutes? Yeah, right. On your way, sweetheart,' he said with a jerk of his thumb.

‘Blooming cheek,' said Erin as we walked up the other way and positioned ourselves at a bus stop on the other side of Joe's house. Once again, nobody went in or came out.

‘This is getting boring, isn't it?' asked Erin after a further ten minutes.

I nodded.

‘We need to revert to Plan C,' she said.

I nodded. ‘Just what is that?'

‘Let me just take a peep inside the house.'

‘No, Erin. Noooooooo.'

But she was off. She strolled up to the railings, then stood on the bottom rung and peered down into the basement.

‘There's a light on,' she said as I raced up to her, grabbed her arm and tried to pull her away. ‘Come on, Erin. Please don't do this. What if he's at home?'

As I pulled her away, she lost her balance slightly and her sunglasses fell off her head and down into the small area in front of the basement kitchen window. ‘Oh noodles,' she said and opened the gate and began to scramble down.

‘Eriiiiiin,' I said. ‘What if someone's in there?'

‘Be OK,' she called back. ‘If they see us, they know you, so it's not as if they're going to think there's a burglar.'

‘Well hurry up!' I said as I glanced up and down the street. Too late! Joe was cycling up the street. He saw me immediately, waved, and within seconds drew up beside me on the pavement.

‘Just my blooming luck,' I muttered under my breath as I felt myself blush bright red.

‘Hey, India,' he said. ‘What you doing?'

‘Oh. Just passing. My mate lost her sunglasses.'

Erin's face looked up by our ankles. ‘Hiya,' she called and ran back up the steps to join us. Joe looked at us quizzically.

‘Um. I didn't know you lived here,' I said as I pointed up at the house.

Joe burst out laughing. ‘Here?' he asked.

I nodded. ‘Yes. No idea at all. We just happened to be passing. Um. Yes. How are you?'

Joe was still laughing. ‘OK. So if you didn't know I lived here, why did you just point to that house?'

‘Oh . . .' I started as I realised that I'd just totally blown it.

Erin began to laugh too. ‘Good point, Joe.'

Joe smiled. ‘And how do you know who I am?' he asked.

‘She doesn't,' I said. ‘Oh bollards. Joe, this is my mate, Erin. Erin, this is Joe.'

Erin gave Joe a sweet smile. ‘Oh, so
you're Joe.
India has told me so much about you.'

I. Could. Not. Believe. It.
Why not complete my humiliation and give him copies of the emails I sent you, Erin,
I thought.
The ones that say ‘I think I've found my soul mate'.

Joe's eyes filled with amusement. ‘Has she now? Hi, Erin. I
think she's mentioned you too. So, India. You're quite right. I do live here. Er . . . good guess or not. Want to come in?'

Erin nodded while I said something in Hogwashese. It sounded like, ‘Merahuhna'.

Joe looked for his keys, then opened the front door and wheeled his bike in. Erin leaned over to me and whispered, ‘Totally totally gorgeous - and those eyelashes? Divine.'

Joe led us through the narrow hall, past stairs into a square country-type kitchen at the back with an Aga and shelves lined with pulses and seeds and dried fruits. It smelled of apples and toast. He made us drinks, then he and Erin chatted away about art and the school play and London.

‘And I'm going to learn to meditate this evening,' she said.

‘Yeah. India did that in Greece, didn't you?'

I nodded. I seemed to have lost my tongue.
Why, oh why, can't I be Miss Cool, the way I am with Callum?
I asked myself.

For a moment, Joe turned his back to get something and Erin kicked me and made a jerky movement with her chin. I knew what she was trying to say and that was - speak up, you eejit! I held up my hands and shrugged as if to say - it's hopeless. Erin glared at me, so I made my eyes go crossed and mock-strangled myself - just as Joe turned around. He looked as if he was having a hard time not laughing again. ‘Er . . . you OK, India Jane?' he asked.

I nodded.

‘My friend seems to be having a bonkers attack this afternoon,' said Erin. ‘I think aliens have captured her and eaten her brain.'

‘Oh that,' said Joe. ‘Yes. It happens a lot around here. Er . . . yeah, hope you feel better soon. Can be nasty, that - aliens eating your brain. I hope it didn't hurt
too
much.'

Erin creased up laughing. ‘Hmm,' she said. ‘Cute
and
funny.'

She was
flirting
with Joe ... Joe. My Joe. And he looked pleased at what she'd said.
Oh God, can this week get any worse? Please, please God, don't let Joe fall in love with Erin.

Quick, India Jane,
said my inner Sensible Sadie,
say something flirty too. Stay in the game. Stay in the game.

‘Glurp,' I said, and Erin and Joe both stared at me. ‘Glurp. Yes. That means “funny” in Hogwashese, which is my special language, so you are cute and glurpy. And in case you were wondering if I spoke any other languages, I do. Shakespearian.'

Behind Joe, Erin made a despairing face and a sign to say she was shooting herself, while Joe looked at me as if I was totally bonkers. And then I got an attack of the giggles and my shoulders started shaking and I couldn't stop laughing. After a short while, Erin began too.

Joe looked from me to Erin and back again, then shook his head. ‘I will never, ever,
ever
understand girls,' he said, but he didn't look upset about it, which was a relief.

We left Joe's about half an hour later and, as soon as we were a short distance away, Erin grabbed my arm. ‘He sooooo fancies you.'

‘Me? It was you who was being Miss Flirty McGirty. He fancied you.'

Erin shook her head. ‘Oh nooooo. You, my dear. It's just a
matter of time. Although ... it might help if you stopped talking hogwash when he's around.'

‘I know. Can't help it,' I said and suddenly I felt ridiculously happy. Erin thought that Joe fancied me. And Erin usually knows about these things. ‘Why? Why do you think he fancies me?'

Erin rolled her eyes. ‘It's obvi. Did you not see the look on your man's face when he saw you and the way he looks at you really tenderly whenever you say something stupid - which is often.'

‘I thought that look was pity. He does it a lot. Looks at me like he's having a hard time not laughing at me.'

‘Not at you. Like you amuse him, and that's different and that's what gives him away. Oh yes, it's just a matter of time.'

We carried on down the road, stopping to look in the occasional shop window, reliving the meeting with Joe and laughing our heads off.
This is what it's like to have a mate around,
I thought as we bought Liquorice All Sorts from the newsagent's and stuffed our faces with them.

‘So these new friends of yours,' said Erin as she popped an All Sort into her mouth. ‘Aren't they back today?'

I nodded. Actually, Ruby was supposed to have been back the night before and Nicole the day before that. What I didn't tell her was that I was hurt that neither of them had called to say that they were home or even texted from their holiday homes. I'd told myself that they'd been too busy, but then so had I, and
I'd
made the time to text at the beginning of the week. But only
the once. When I didn't get a reply from either of them, I decided to leave it. I didn't want to appear desperate or clingy or needy. All the same, it hurt. I knew that real mates phoned as soon as they got back from being away and even texted on the way to the airport and as soon as they got off the plane when they came back.

Being with Erin for the week had reminded me what friendship was all about. Despite my blip of jealousy, it had been a great week with her. We had explored loads of London that I didn't know. We'd hung out in Hampstead, cruised Camden Lock, perused Portobello Market, been down the King's Road and into TopShop in Oxford Street where we'd both bought fab outfits from the latest collection for Leela's party. It had been great to have someone to do it all with, to try stuff on with and then sit and people-watch.

However, being with her had also made me aware of what a failure I'd been at making new mates and I was beginning to wonder if it was my fault - if there was something wrong with me. I felt like I was going through a whole crisis to do with friendship and didn't know if it was my fault and my expectations were too high or
what
the problem was. Even Mikey seemed to have moved on since he'd met his girlfriend. He was away in Cornwall for half-term and he hadn't texted either. The only person who had been in touch was Callum -he'd left a message on my voicemail saying he was looking forward to resuming rehearsals when we were back at school. I'd texted him back to be polite, but I decided to call it a day
with him. It wasn't going to go anywhere. Months ago, I would have blurted this all out to Erin, but now I felt myself holding back. I was becoming Paranoid Penny and I didn't want her to think that I was a saddo or a loser and maybe go back to Ireland wondering if she still wanted to be my mate. Maybe I'd got boring. And weird. Or too demanding. Or too introspective. And self-obsessed. Or was I normal? I didn't know any more.

When we got back home and were about to go inside the front door, my phone rang.

‘Hi,' I said and mouthed to Erin that it was Ruby while I found my door key and let us both in. Erin nodded that she understood and walked inside. I felt relieved that Ruby had phoned when she did, so that Erin could see that I
did
have some friends after all. I wasn't a total Molly No Mates. Ruby was in usual Ruby-mode and after giving me the low down on her holiday, asked if I could go over that evening.

‘But my friend from Ireland is here and we're going to a meeting about meditation.'

‘Bring her with you.'

‘No. She
wants
to go to the meeting.'

‘OK, so let her go.'

‘But I said I'd go too.'

‘But hasn't she been there all week?'

‘Yeah.'

‘So you've had loads of time with her. Isn't there anyone else going to the meeting, which by the way, I have to say sounds deadly dull. Like, isn't meditation for wacko-jobs?'

‘Dad's going and my brother, and no, it isn't for wackos. I used to think that but actually —'

‘Whatever. So loads of people are going and I'm ALL on my own. Oh come on, India, be a mate. Come over.'

I felt torn. Erin would be going back on Sunday and it was true, Dad and Dylan
were
going to the meeting whereas Ruby was a new mate, part of my new life, and if I didn't have her and Nicole to hang out with at school, I'd have nobody.

‘Oh, I don't know, Ruby . . .'

‘Pleeeeeeeeese, pleeeeeese.'

‘What about Nicole? Isn't she back?'

‘Yeah. She's been back for days, but she has some family thing today. I've left so many messages for her but she's obviously got more important things to do. Pleeeeese, India, I'm going to be all on my ownsome and I need to talk to you about loads of stuff. It's really important and you're the only one who understands and gives me good advice.'

Erin was watching me and I pulled a face and pointed at the phone. ‘Let me talk to Erin and I'll call you back, OK?'

‘Please, please. And I'm sure if Erin is a
real
mate, she'll understand. So see you later?'

‘Later.'

When I'd hung up, I realised that as usual she hadn't asked a thing about how my week had been or what I'd been doing. Or even considered for a moment that I might actually like to go the meeting with Sensei. But that was Ruby.

‘Ruby,' I said to Erin. ‘She's back. Wants me to go over.'

‘I heard. That's nice but ... is she always like that?'

‘Like what?'

‘Sounds like she likes to get her way.'

‘Yeah. No. Not really. She's fun. You'd like her.'

‘Did she ask to meet me?'

‘Er . . . not exactly . . . She said I could bring you along.'

Erin raised an eyebrow. ‘So what did she want?'

‘Me to go over to her place.'

‘Does she ever come here?'

‘Not really. Or that is, she came once when she wanted to talk about something. Er ... she prefers to meet up at her house and I don't really mind going there. She lives in an amazing place.'

Erin raised her other eyebrow. ‘So do you. I heard you saying about the meeting, but if you'd prefer to go and see her, do go. I'll be fine with your dad and Dylan and I know that you've heard it all before - about the meditation, that is.'