Starting Over (3 page)

“You should eat
something,” Dan said, reaching for a plate from the buffet
table.

So many people
had come bearing food when they heard about her aunt’s passing that
the staff set up a buffet table in the dining area. Eve just wanted
to retreat to her childhood bedroom, lock the door, and cry her
eyes out, but those people loved her aunt too. They deserved the
opportunity to mourn her and celebrate her life. Of course, the
formal service would be in a few days, but everyone was reeling
from the loss. Sharing their sadness with others who felt the same
way provided some comfort.

“I can’t eat
anything,” Eve said when she realized Dan was filling her plate
with food. “Thank you though.” He was always lending his support
when she needed it and even when she didn’t. She knew he was trying
to help the only way he knew how.

“You have to
try, Evie,” he said, sighing. “The next few days are going to be
brutal. You need to keep your strength up.”

Eve watched her
husband work the room, talking to people he’d never met as though
he’d known them forever. The townspeople clearly thought she was a
lucky lady to have landed such a handsome, successful, charismatic
man. She’d once thought so too. She wasn’t so sure anymore.

Following her
gaze, Dan narrowed his eyes at her husband. “He’s a piece of work,
isn’t he? That guy missed his calling. He should’ve gone into
politics.”

It was no
secret Dan thought Alex was too slick to be trusted, but those who
knew Alex well knew that he was genuine. He sincerely liked and
cared about people.
Except for me.
Eve swallowed the lump in
her throat.
He stopped caring about me a long time ago.

Alex caught her
eye, smiling. When she didn’t return the gesture, he excused
himself from his conversation with the local police chief and made
his way toward her. “How are you holding up, Eve?” He cupped her
shoulder.

It was the
first time he’d touched her in months, and she was both relieved
and mortified his casual caress affected her so deeply. A shudder
moved through her, and she knew he felt it when his full mouth
tipped up at the corners.

He was still
the most gorgeous man she’d ever met, and he took her breath away
the same way he did when she’d first spotted him at a frat party.
She was dating one of his fraternity brothers, but he didn’t seem
to mind the competition. He made his interest in her known, and he
pursued her relentlessly until she finally agreed to go out with
him. She thought he was like every other guy she’d met—charming
until he got what he wanted—but she soon realized Alex was the real
deal. He’d always treated her as though he couldn’t live without
her… until recently. The only thing he couldn’t live without
anymore was the company that bore his last name.

“Do you really
care how she’s doing?” Dan asked Alex.

The tension
between the two men was swelling to dangerous levels, and Eve hoped
no one else noticed the exchange. In their small town, gossip
spread quickly, and she didn’t want people assuming she was the
point of contention in a love triangle.

“Why don’t you
find something else to do?” Alex said, stepping closer. “I can take
care of
my
wife.”

“Yeah, you’ve
been doing a great job so far.” Dan handed Eve the plate of food
she didn’t want. “Where were you when she really needed you? She’s
been going through hell watching her aunt slip away, and your only
concern was how you were going to make your next million. You make
me sick.”

Eve subtly
positioned her body between the two men, hoping that would be
enough to diffuse the situation.

“You don’t know
anything about my life,” Alex said between clenched teeth,
obviously trying to keep his voice down. “How dare you—”

Eve set the
plate on the table. “Can we take a walk, Alex? I need a breath of
fresh air.”

“Sounds like a
plan,” he said, grabbing her hand. They remained silent until they
got outside. Then Alex said, “I’m sorry about that. He just… gets
to me.”

“He always
has.” Eve thought about the first time she’d brought Alex home to
meet her aunt. Dan was working for Sharon as a groundskeeper, and
he’d clearly despised Alex from the first time he set eyes on
him.

“Because he has
a thing for you.” Releasing her hand, Alex shoved it in his pocket
instead. “But it’s more than that now, isn’t it?”

She could have
sworn she heard a trace of insecurity in his voice, but that wasn’t
possible. Alex was the most confident man she knew. “What are you
asking me?”

“He’s in love
with you. What I need to know…” He swore softly as he kicked a
pebble. “Do you feel the same way about him?”

Eve was too
stunned to respond. They’d been married ten years, and she’d always
been faithful to him, even when it felt as though they were merely
sharing a house.

“Damn it, just
say something,” he said through his teeth. “Not knowing how you
feel about him is killing me.”

“Dan’s my
friend,” she said, touching Alex’s arm. She’d never seen him
stripped bare like that. Vulnerable wasn’t a term she’d ever used
to describe her husband, yet that’s how he seemed. As if he needed
her reassurance to set his world right. But if that reassurance
involved the promise of going back to a lifestyle that sounded like
a fate worse than death, she couldn’t reassure him.

Boring dinner
parties, endless days and nights of staring at the same white
walls, charitable organizations that didn’t fuel her passion for
helping people... Her life had become a shell, devoid of meaning,
and she didn’t know if she could ever go back. No matter how much
she loved her husband, she had to learn to love herself again. She
could only do that if she got reacquainted with the woman she was
before she became Mrs. Alex Bolton.

The past months
had been about caring for her aunt—and she wouldn’t have changed
that for anything—but Sharon was gone, and her last wish was for
her niece to find happiness again. Even if Eve didn’t have the will
to seek joy for herself, she owed it to Sharon to try.

“It looked like
a lot more than that to me.”

Eve resented
the bitterness in his voice. “You have no right to judge my
friendships.” The worst day of her life seemed as if it would never
end, and it was going from bad to worse. She’d lost her aunt and
she’d realized it was time to end her marriage. She must have done
something dreadful in a past life if Karma was so determined to
make sure she got hers.

“I’m your
husband. I’d say that gives me some rights.”

His voice
trembled—she assumed he was angry. She’d never known him to show
fear. “In name only.”

He stepped
back, his face a mask of indifference. “Is that really how you
feel? Are you trying to tell me this marriage is over?”

She wished he
wasn’t looking at her as though he expected her to deny it. They’d
grown so far apart. He had to know their divorce was inevitable.
She tried to tell herself her broken heart would mend eventually.
She would never get over losing her aunt and her husband, but time
would lessen the ache. Every day would get easier, until eventually
she could think of them and remember all of the good times. “We
both know it is.”

“Do you think I
would have come all this way if I believed you’d already written me
off?” His voice was broken, like her spirit. “I came here for you,
because you needed me.”

She did need
him, but she couldn’t let herself admit that since he would be on
the first plane back to New York in the morning. “It’s time we stop
hurting each other and admit the truth.”

“When you left,
I thought it was because Sharon needed you. As far as I knew, we
were still trying to have a baby,” he said, lowering his voice when
one of the inn’s employees stepped out on the back porch for a
cigarette. As soon as the young employee spotted them, he walked
quickly in the opposite direction.

“You didn’t
even want to try…” Sighing, she decided to surrender. She was too
tired to re-hash the past. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this tonight. I’m
tired. I just want to go to bed.”

“Eve, wait,” he
said, reaching for her hand. “We need to talk about this. You can’t
just throw away ten years on a whim.”

“Believe me,
I’ve given this a lot of thought.” As painful as it was to admit,
she knew it was time to end her marriage. “It’s time for us to go
our separate ways, Alex.”

Alex tossed and turned
trying to find a comfortable spot in the king-sized bed that felt
too empty without Eve. When the desk clerk had given him a room
key, Alex assumed it was a key to his wife’s room. He quickly
realized he wasn’t sharing Eve’s suite. He didn’t know if she had
instructed the clerk to give him his own room or if Dan was
responsible, but Alex needed to find out. Eve’s words replayed in
his mind. She wanted to end their marriage. Just thinking about it
made his heart sink. She was his world. The thought of letting her
go…

He decided he
would be a fool to accept her decision without pleading his case.
He knew she’d already made up her mind, but his gut told him a part
of her still loved him. At least that’s what he told himself when
he jumped out of bed, walked down the hall, and turned a worn brass
doorknob. He didn’t bother knocking.

Eve’s eyes flew
open when she heard him close the door. “What are you doing in
here?” She sat up in bed as the crisp white sheet fell to her
waist, revealing a white eyelet nightgown with thin straps. The
bedside lamp was still on and an open book lay on the pillow beside
hers.

The spot that
rightfully belonged to him. “You still fall asleep with a good
book,” he said, trying to remind her that he knew her so well.

“I used to try
to wait up for you,” she said, reaching for the book. “But you’d
always come home after I was asleep.” She closed it and held it
against her chest like a shield.

He knew she was
referring to the times she’d waited up to conceive the baby she
believed would complete their lives. He hadn’t told her he had
reservations about getting pregnant. Instead, he’d taken the
coward’s way out, getting drawn into work or meetings that
stretched well into the night. He walked toward the bed, holding
his breath as he waited to see if she would ask him to leave. He
gently set her book aside and claimed the spot beside her. “I’m so
sorry.”

Her hair was
falling over her shoulders, covering her breasts, and he gently
brushed it aside. Was he a fool to think making love could solve
their problems? More than anything, he wanted to feel like her
husband again. He wanted to remind her what it felt like when she
gave herself to him completely.

She watched his
fingertips trail over her breasts, and her breath hitched when they
skimmed her nipple. “What are you doing?”

“I want to show
you how much I love you.” He hadn’t worn a shirt to bed—just
draw-string pajama bottoms that made it evident how much he wanted
her. “How much I need you.” He greedily drank in the sweet perfume
he would forever associate with her. That may be the last time he
got close enough to appreciate it.

“Don’t do
this,” she said, flattening her palms on his bare shoulders. “This
won’t solve anything.”

Pretending he
hadn’t heard her, he whispered, “The first time I saw you”—he swept
his lips over her collarbone—“I knew I was going to marry you
someday.”

“Alex…” She
tipped her head back as she dipped her short nails into his
flesh.

He could tell
she was surrendering to the passion building between them, and
while he knew his tactics could backfire, he was too far gone to
allow doubt to intervene. Slipping the thin straps over her
shoulders, he dropped moist kisses up and down her neck. “I knew
you were exactly what I needed.” Every day since, she’d surprised
him with her intelligence, sense of humor, passion, and enthusiasm.
If she left him, no other woman could take her place. She would
leave a void in his life that nothing and no one could ever
fill.

She let him
guide her back on the bed, her eyes locking with his as she
whispered, “What are we doing?”

“I know you’ve
been through hell today.” Tiny white pearl buttons ran down the
front of her gown, and his eyes never left hers as he slowly
unbuttoned them. “You lost someone who meant everything to you. I
can’t lose you, Eve.” His voice was hoarse as he dropped his head.
“I don’t know how the hell to go on without you.”

Threading her
fingers through his dark hair, she brought his face up to meet
hers. “You don’t need me. You’ve never needed me.”

“You’re so
wrong. Everything I do is for you, baby. Don’t you know that?” He
hated that he’d given her reason to feel that way. He knew he’d
spend every second of the rest of his life proving her wrong. She
was the only thing he needed. Without her, the rest of it didn’t
matter. He’d told her a hundred times he was working so hard to
secure their future, but he knew she didn’t buy it. She didn’t care
about material things. She’d always claimed he was the only thing
she needed to make her happy. Maybe if he’d listened instead of
brushing her off, they wouldn’t be desperately trying to hold on to
each other.

“I just wanted
a partner, a husband…” she whispered, letting her tears fall on his
shoulder. “I didn’t need a martyr or a hero. I didn’t want someone
willing to sacrifice his own happiness to give me everything he
thought I wanted. I tried telling you that so many times, but you
refused to hear me.”

He couldn’t
deny she was right. He’d told himself he was working so hard so he
could buy Eve her dream home, the top of the line Mercedes for her
birthday, expensive jewelry at Christmas… yet the more money he
made, the less fulfilled he felt and the further he and his wife
grew apart. “I’m hearing you now.” He inched back to look her in
the eye. “I need to know it’s not too late to make things right.
Please, just tell me it’s not too late.”