Status Update (#gaymers) (15 page)

He’d forgotten that he might have something to offer Adrian as well. Was it possible that Adrian needed him as much as he needed Adrian? Adrian worked with far more people, but maybe part of him was equally lonely.

“You can have the racing module. Check your email later, actually—I sent you full beta access. I upgraded your profile to a Founder.”

“You can do that?” Founders were the thousand-dollar-plus backers who got special perks and got to vote on things. “Hey, I didn’t even give you my user ID!”

“Nope. I’m smart that way.” Adrian laughed. “And don’t feel too guilty—I upgraded both of my nephews to Explorers. I was busy while you were driving. Was it a bad drive?”

“No. Not terrible.” Noah really didn’t want to talk about this.

“You get your favorite spot back?”

“Umm...” Noah looked around the small space, but it held no answers. “Actually, Ulysses and I decided to try a new place. Closer to Moab so we can have some nice granola and organic groceries.”

“
Noah.
What happened?” Of course, Adrian saw straight through his joking. Even though they hadn’t been around each other that much, Adrian seemed to see all of his little quirks—and not just notice them, but also understand them. Adrian knew Noah wasn’t the type to try somewhere new on a whim. Heck, Noah was still plenty surprised at himself.

“Old Billy gave my favorite spot away and all that were left were these spaces up front and I got to thinking—”

“Noah. You’re rambling. You never ramble. What really happened?” More shuffling noises, like Adrian was sitting up now. Noah could picture him running a hand through his messy hair. “Billy said something to you, didn’t he? Something about me?”

“He’s a bigot.” Noah sighed. “And I didn’t do it for you
.
I did it for me. Because he doesn’t deserve my money.”

“No, no he doesn’t. I’m proud of you,” Adrian said quietly. The praise washed over him, making the hassle seem worth it. He hadn’t had someone to make proud in a very long time, and unlike his temperamental father or reserved mother, Adrian was ridiculously easy to please.

“So tell me all about the new place? They have a hot tub? I stayed with my dad and stepmother at this place outside of Bryce with a hot tub.” And then they were off, an hour lost to easy conversation about the best RV parks in the West and Ulysses’s efforts to be less antisocial and befriend the poodle of two elderly librarian ladies on their way to Arizona.

“I better let you get some sleep,” Noah said reluctantly. “Don’t you have to be up at four?

“Three-fifteen. Don’t remind me.” Adrian groaned. “I’m not ready for vacation to be done. Totally not ready for all the shit waiting for me at the office. I’ve got thirty-five unanswered emails in the two hours we’ve been on the phone. And this is a Sunday night.”

“Tell you what—you tackle half of those and I’ll push through another half a Chapter before sleep?”

“Oh you kill me with the sexy, Noah, you really do.” Adrian laughed.

“Sorry. I’ll try to up my game.” Noah kicked at the empty seat that should be holding the smiling man he already missed far more than he should.

“You do that. And yeah, I’ll check my email. I never know when one might be something fun like light sabers for the whole office again.”

Noah reached for his abandoned laptop, clicked to the browser. He’d forgotten about the
Space Villager
web features Adrian had mentioned. The mini “episodes” were styled a bit like a reality show with interviews with the various programmers, and each episode centered around a different dilemma. Noah’s inner geek loved
Space Villager’s
commitment to transparency and to producing bonus content like this for the crowd-funding backers. “On second thought, I think I’m going to get caught up on a few
Code Review
episodes before I sleep.”

“That will
put
you to sleep. Write first. And no making fun of my desk or my shirt collection.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

No, but he’d dream of Adrian.

Chapter Fifteen

“Hey, Adrian, I have some packages you need to open before we tape.” Rex carried a stack of boxes into the big open cube Adrian shared with four other designers. Rex was
not
his favorite coworker—he had a tendency to mouth breathe up in Adrian’s space and pepper him with stupid questions with a camera in his face.

“In a sec. Let me queue up the screen shots we’re going to need.” What he
really
wanted was the chance to glance at his phone. He subtly palmed it, opening the messaging screen. He’d introduced Noah to Skype last week, and now they both kept a window open all day—typing random thoughts and observations to each other. At the moment they were discussing the worst sci-fi movies of all time. Assuming Adrian could get out of the office by nine, they had a ten o’clock movie date. A number of times in the past week they’d picked a cult sci-fi movie to fall asleep with and turned on chat or the phone and hung out watching the movie together. Sometimes they even made the same snack. They were ridiculously cheesy, and Adrian loved it.

Can
you
stream
Paycheck?
Noah asked in chat.

Yeah
,
Ben
Affleck
is
hot.
Rest
of
the
movie
is
a
total
mess
though
.
Adrian typed a quick reply.

I
look
forward
to
hearing
you
eviscerate
the
production.
Want
another
hour
of
work
sprint?
Only Noah could make
eviscerate
and
work
sound vaguely sexy. They had started doing a thing where they raced to see who could get the most done in an hour before they chatted more.

Can’t. About to tape a Code Review. Rex is here to make my life hell for the next hour or so. Wanna take bets how many takes he’s going to make me do just to zoom in on the error with the Rover’s wheels?

“Adrian! You have to see this!” Rex had the box open and Meena had left her cube to come investigate too. Pixel poked his head out of the knitted Death Star dog bed that Meena had made him.

“Come here baby, someone sent Daddy fan mail.” Meena’s voice had her usual East Indian lilt to it as she held a handout to the dog. “You wanna be on camera, right?”

“You know that’s the only reason Rob lets me have him at the office. The backers love him.” Adrian scooped up Pixel.

“Let’s roll tape.” Rex pointed his infernal camera at Adrian. “Show us what’s in the box.”

Adrian peered into the already open box, then burst out laughing. “It’s a case of Mocha Max energy drinks.” The exact same brand he’d bought in Green River with Noah. His grin felt wide enough to span the miles between them.

“Oooh, there’s cookies too,” Meena said. “Gluten-free chocolate-chip? Someone really does know you.”

Adrian plucked up the packing slip. “Let’s see. We’ll be thanking N—Alex Rogan.” Oh, Noah was good, using the name of the main character in
Last Starfighter
.
And he thinks I’m the romantic one.

“And he included a gift message.” Rex leaned over his shoulder. “Enjoy a snack on me. P.S. The rock slide you showed on Episode 19 wasn’t geologically possible.”

“Oh man, one of those,” Meena groaned, then looked over at Adrian. “Why are you smiling so hard?
Adrian.
”

Adrian shook his head, not wanting her to tease him on tape.

“Cut for a second, Rex.” Meena held up a hand.

“What? This is great footage.” Rex groaned but lowered the camera. “You
do
have a shit-eating grin, Adrian. Tell me you’re not back together with that idiot who abandoned you.”

Of course
, his whole office knew the truth of his Thanksgiving escapades because he couldn’t lie for shit and also the steady stream of Trent presents had dried up. But he hadn’t mentioned Noah yet. That felt too private. Too special to bring out into the open right now.

“I’m not back with Trent.”

“Adrian. You’re with someone new, aren’t you?” Meena leaned in, meeting his gaze with shrewd eyes. “Another long-distance guy?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Adrian stroked Pixel’s back. He was wearing the red coat Noah had bought him.

Meena shook her head. “One of these days, you’re going to figure out why you always have out-of-town boyfriends.”

Rex snorted. “Maybe he just can’t pull the locals.”

“That would be you,” Adrian said lightly. “Maybe it’s just the way things work out for me. Coincidence.”

“No.” Meena shook her head sadly. “When are you going to realize you’re worth more, Adrian?”

Noah had said something similar once upon a time, but Meena’s words cut deeper, a fresher wound. Hell. This was
not
the sort of buzzkill his day needed. He grabbed a drink, even though it wasn’t chilled like he preferred.

“Let’s do this thing. Get it out of the way.” He gave both his coworkers a stony look he hoped would stop further ribbing.

* * *

Three hours later, Adrian let himself into the apartment he seldom saw. His phone buzzed as he set Pixel’s travel bag down and let him out.
Noah.
His stomach didn’t leap as much as it had earlier, and a tendril of guilt niggled at his neck. He’d kind of blown Noah off the past few hours to work. What were they really doing here? Maybe the holiday boyfriend thing was just a way to ensure they were both bloody by the end of the month.

He hit Talk. “Hey.”

“We still on for the movie?” Noah sounded tentative. “I blew through four chapters today. Can’t believe I did that much. I blame you.”

“Yeah?” Adrian’s tired muscles perked up, like a fuzzy drawing coming into full resolution. This was why he put up with distance. The happy buzz that shot through him at the sound of Noah’s voice. The warm sensation at knowing he was helping Noah, even in some small way.

“The sprints help. Did you get a lot done? Get your episode filmed?”

“Yeah. You’ll want to watch this one.” He smiled. It wasn’t Noah’s fault he’d been in a funk the past few hours. “Funny thing. We got a strange package today, from this cranky guy who wanted to complain about how we’re handling the rocks.”

“That so?” He could hear Noah’s smile in his warm tone. “Maybe you have a secret admirer.”

“I must be a pretty lucky guy. This secret admirer knows my allergies and everything.”

“Maybe he felt bad that you can never eat all the stuff that comes into the office,” Noah said. There was a clanking sound, like a spoon hitting a pot.

“Are you just now eating too?” Adrian asked as he pulled out a gluten-free TV dinner to nuke.

“Yeah. Drove into Moab for groceries yesterday. I’m trying a new slow-cooker recipe tonight—I got some gluten-free baking mix. I wanted to see if I could do my chicken and dumplings recipe gluten-free.”

And just like that, Adrian’s frustration with the status quo melted away. Noah was planning on them being in the same state again. He was even testing recipes.

“How’d it turn out?”

“I’m going to need a few more tries before Christmas.” Noah chuckled. “But it’s edible. Shall we take our food and start the movie?”

“Yes,
Alex
, we shall. Will your next package be from Korban Dallas
?
”

“I don’t know. What makes you think you’re worth more treats?” Noah laughed lightly. Phone Noah was way more flirty than in-person Noah, and Adrian liked this teasing side of him.

“Because I’ve been
very
,
very
good lately,” Adrian dropped his voice to a husky whisper. “And if you can stay awake for the movie, I’ll be good again.”

He’d talked Noah into phone sex twice so far, which mainly consisted of Adrian narrating and Noah making choked whimpers, which was sexy as fuck. Sure, he’d rather cuddle up with Noah’s body right now, watch the movie tangled together, have a long, slow rub-off together before sleep. But this was worth something too. Noah cared about Adrian’s day, listened to his stories, created little shared rituals together. And he didn’t know why Meena and Rex had to act like there was something lacking in him that he was willing to put up with this separation. And he had no doubt the reunion sex would be more than worth it. The holiday with Noah would be better than the holiday without him, and Adrian had to trust in that.

* * *

“Show me more,” Noah said into the computer with a laugh. Three weeks ago he hadn’t even known that his laptop had a camera, let alone a microphone. Right now, Adrian was taking him on a tour of his small apartment. Noah reclined on his bed, content to go along with Adrian’s latest idea of fun.

“So that’s the kitchen.”

“Pristine. You ever even use that stove?” Noah said, fighting off vertigo from the bouncing image. It was worth a little dizziness to hear Adrian laugh.

“I think I heated up some noodles a couple of months ago.” Adrian bent, the image jumping again, and Pixel appeared on screen.

Woof!
Woof!
Ulysses shoved his way onto Noah’s bed, pushing his head next to Noah.

“Hey! I think they recognize each other!” Adrian laughed. “Pixel is not looking forward to flying again, but it’ll be cool to see if they recognize each other.”

“You decided to bring him?” Noah asked. Adrian had been going back and forth about whether to board Pixel or bring him along.

“Yeah. I decided he’s kind of my security blanket. When the rest of the family gets insane, I can always retreat with him, you know? ‘Excuse me. Dog needs a walk.’ It’s like a socially acceptable need for a smoke.”

“I hear that. I’ve used Ulysses as an excuse more than a couple of times.”

“Doggie superpowers unite!” Adrian made Pixel wave at the camera, and Noah had to laugh. “Relative repellant activate!”

“Maybe the weather will hold and we can take them to a dog park together.” It still felt weird, making plans for the holiday.

“Yeah—there’s a couple of indoor play places for dogs too. I know Ulysses isn’t the most fond of running with a pack, but he might find the obstacle courses fun.” Adrian had no such problem making plans and speculating about things they could do. He’d already brainstormed weeks’ worth of activities to try to cram into the couple of days they’d have together.

“This is Pixel’s toy box and bed.” Adrian panned to a corner of the living room to show off a cat house and a big bucket of toys.

“Nice,” Noah said and meant it. He stretched his legs out in front of him on his bed, muscles warm and languid from the pleasure of talking with Adrian. He’d spent so many years repressing any sexual urges and telling himself that since he wasn’t desperate for sex that he was fine alone. But what he hadn’t realized was how starved he was for companionship.

Sure, the occasional round of phone sex was nice, but what Noah really craved were these silly little conversations. He’d discovered a bottomless hunger for affection—sending Adrian surprise packages, coming up with goofy messages to prop in front of Ulysses, dissecting movies together late at night when he could practically
feel
Adrian curled against him. He had no clue how he was going to give this up and go back to his monastic diet of faculty meetings and lonely dinners with Ulysses and no Skype open next to him.

“And...” Adrian walked down the hall. “This is my bathroom. This is what I really wanted to show you.”

“You wanted to show me your bathroom?” Noah couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Yup. See right over there?” Adrian swiveled so that Noah was looking at a large walk-in shower. “That’s why I picked this place. Tiny living room and kitchen, but this bathroom is totally worthy of a shower porno—shower is
huge.
And has two heads.”

“Two, huh?”

“I keep daydreaming about having you in here. Your motor home is nice and all, but your bathroom is never, ever going to see any action.”

“True.” That was true for so much of Noah’s life, he didn’t even register the lack of shower sex as a thing until Adrian mentioned it.

“But think about the fun we could have in here. Me. You. Some soap...”

“Condoms? Can those work in the shower?” Noah’s imagination caught up to Adrian’s, but his practical side won out.

“Oh yeah. I’ve even got lube that works well in water, but...” Adrian trailed off.

“What?”

“I got tested the other day. Just felt like a good idea, you know? It had been over six months since I’d been with anyone prior to you, but I figured you might like knowing I was clean at Christmas.” Adrian put heavy emphasis on the last few words. Yet another clue that Adrian was taking this holiday fling far more seriously than he should. Noah needed to put a stop to this. Needed to rein in both of them, needed a way to stem the heat licking its way up his back. Yes, he liked knowing Adrian had gotten tested. More than liked the idea of Adrian inside him, nothing but skin. The thought of Adrian shooting deep inside him made his pants tight. But behind the arousal, his pulse clattered and his foot twitched.
I’m going to hurt him.

“I’m good with condoms,” Noah said, fumbling because he wasn’t sure how else to tell Adrian to slow down.

“Oh. Okay.” Adrian’s voice was small and Noah slapped his pillow out of view of his camera. He was trying to
keep
Adrian from getting hurt, not inflict new pain.

On Adrian’s end, the camera blurred as he moved and then they were in a bedroom, looking at a huge computer setup opposite the edge of a bed. “So this where a lot of the magic happens.” His voice was forced, too cheerful.

“Dre. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...” Noah needed his happy Adrian back.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Adrian made a dismissive gesture. “Did I show you this yet?” He picked up a small figurine on his desk. “It’s rover swag! No one has seen these yet, but we’re giving them away in February.”