Stay for Me (5 page)

Unprepared for the scorching tenderness
he felt, she touched the short hair on top of his head. He swallowed. She had
him drowning with that look, and then she glanced down where their knees touched
and shook her head.

“I know how much working on the school
means to you so
no,
I wouldn’t want you to give it
up.”
The palm of her hand grinded against her forehead.
“I won’t see you every day now,” she said still looking down through her long
bangs. The pointed strands framing her cheek bones got stuck in the corner of
her mouth. Unthinking, he pulled them free.

“Says who? Hmm?” he said, unable to
remain distant no matter how important it was to keeping her safe and unhurt. More
and more, he remembered the ways he’d memorized her much smaller frame, taking
mental notes of how careful he’d need to be. And then how in the heat of his
own selfish need, he’d lost all control and forgotten.
Only
acting on the need to make her his.

Her shoulders hiked and she looked up
then, pinning him with doubt.

“What?” he asked, grateful the lights
were relatively dim, a reminder this wasn’t a real office and rather a hole-in-the-wall
room where she worked her ass off doing any number of things for him not in her
job description. After tonight, when he walked out of here and never came back,
she would continue doing those things for the guys and not him. “Hey, look at
me.”

The sides of her nostrils were red, and
she tapped a stray pen against the ground. “Ellen let me know I’m being
considered for her job next summer. I guess she’s moving back home to Texas.”

He smiled at her good news, even though
the mood had taken a sharp downward turn. “You’re
gonna
make an excellent head manager, Emma. The guys will be lucky to have you. The
show will be even better, draw even bigger crowds. You’ll finally get to change
the club name.” He should really give up on the stabs at humor.
They were painful to the ears,
was all
he could think when she said the next thing, breaking his heart into fresh
pieces.

“But you won’t be here. What if I asked,
begged you not to quit?” she said, her eyes searching his.

No, he wouldn’t let her do that. He
licked his dry lips and reached out a pinky to link with hers. Sam was so damn
confused right now. The soldier in him hated that indecision. It was crap and
wouldn’t serve either of them any good.

The frustration mounted to a fever pitch
and without any other way to find ground, he let himself hang. Just to
understand something—anything—about the last half hour with her.

No
wasted time. Fix this, Sam. Just say it. Say it and get it out there.

“Earlier, that
whole thing about liars.
I’ll man up and be completely honest. I don’t know
which way is up or down right now, Emma. Everything about you since I walked in
here has been, man, it’s been calling me out.
Like you
want
me to go there again.”
He
shook his head and sucked in a giant breath at the thought of holding her once
more like a lover. Enough time had passed that seeing Emma again would be a
brand new adventure for his eyes, his hands,
his
heart.
Damn, his lips.
Snap out of it, moron
.
But he couldn’t. Not completely. “Me staying here… We both know that would mean
no you and no me. Don’t be that liar, Emma.
‘Cause
I
can do one or the other, but I can’t play both ends. And at this point, I’m
pretty sure there isn’t a
hole
deep enough to bury
this again.”

“You’re right,” she said and looked past
him at the door.

Her jaw worked, and finally she stood.
All five feet of her.
His words had been harsh, but if she wanted
him again, she needed to be honest so he could make her understand how that was
a bad idea.

“There’s only one way past this that I
can see. Come somewhere with me, Sam.”

She glanced over at the washing machine
which gurgled and chugged.

Chapter Four

Yes, eager for a way through the muddy
ocean they’d just created in the pond-size space of her office, he nodded yes
and made sure to catch every freckle, every bit of movement tumbling across her
face in that instant, just in case she’d chewed off too much and he walked out
the club doors and never saw her again.

The deathly
close observation he had of her showed him a slight tremble in her shoulders as
she stood there trying to look unbreakable.
No doubt the
performance was for his benefit as she led and he followed.

He’d have said no but knew there was no
chance of that happening. He had to know what was going on in that stubborn blonde
head of hers.

Sam’s every muscle tensed and ached for
her to lay one finger on his skin. But she didn’t. She even took her pinky back
from where they’d linked them when she stood up and he followed suit.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“Do you trust me, Sam?”

“Of course,” he said without thinking.

“Do you believe that I trust you?”

That one took him longer.

He wanted to regain her trust more than
anything in the world, especially now that they’d gone and opened up old wounds.
“Yes,” he said but knew the wishful answer hadn’t satisfied her. And somehow,
being suspended or fired or quitting his job didn’t matter as much as whatever
they were delving into right now. This had become something more.
Way more.

She answered for him. “No you don’t. And
that’s why before you leave here for good, because we both know that’s what’s
gonna
happen, I’m going to prove to you once and for all
that I do trust you. No matter what,” she said and held out her whole hand this
time, not just a pinky. “You
coming?
We don’t have all
night.”

Was there any sense in arguing the finer
points?

Unsure of exactly what would happen, he
was keenly aware he could not do anything to jeopardize her job as manager if
that’s where this was heading. Sam took Emma’s hand as she led him from her
office and then abruptly came to a halt. Unprepared to be stopping in front of
the room she usually avoided at all cost, he banged into her which sent her
tripping into the door frame. The sudden, hard contact fired him to life. He
felt himself throb, his groin grew tight. These Navy white pants didn’t hide
anything.

“Damn. Sorry. But you’re taking me to
the
S
room?” His voice was never high
like that. If anything, he thought maybe she’d been about to ask him for a
motorcycle ride over the new Hoover Dam bridge to prove her trust in him. Hell,
he’d have been more prepared had she gone and fetched some random show guest
and thrown the two of them in there while she stood outside, “trusting” him.
This?
Wanting to go inside
S
room?
With him?
Nowhere
on his radar.

There was something about this room she
hated.

And very little else to do inside
besides be together. Which he was sure she also must hate after the way he’d
hurt her before.

He had one word for her and feared like
a little girl that saying it would be the one thing to push her away for good.
But he had to say it.

“No.”

This wasn’t a place to enter on the
premise
that you trusted a person. You
either went in here not caring a damn about what might happen, like most of the
show patrons he’d brought, or fully aware and in control of yourself.
No in between.
Sam had watched her
tow
the line throughout their entire conversation.

“I won’t take you in there. You’re not
ready. Don’t be stubborn and ask me how I know that. I just do.”

“It’s not up to you right now.” Her lips
stopped speaking, and it was clear that was the last thing she would say until
he either followed her in or left her in the hallway, alone.

Like fire that realized it was on dry
ground and free to burn, the thought of being in there with her jolted his body
awake. Years old, buried, and desperate desire, came out of hiding. He would
put himself through hell to be able to have her and not hurt her. But standing
directly behind Emma as she unlocked and opened the black
door,
he saw how he still engulfed her.

 
From
her petite shoulders came a giant heave as she took the first step inside.

In that instant, he knew she was wrong.
He could and should choose not to go inside, but he did have something to show
her. That she was safe when they were together. He couldn’t believe that was
what this had turned into but he found some small ground to stand on and be
thankful. He wouldn’t piss this opportunity away. A man took responsibility for
his actions, no matter how far in the past they’d happened and how much time
he’d spent racking up distance, hiding. Sam would be the ambassador of control
and restraint once they were on the other side of this door.

He had to prod her forward the next
step.
And the next, which set off a mile-long trail of red
flags.

He waited and let her be the one to turn
and close the door.

As soon as he heard it click, he slid
his hands inside the tight pants pockets and held them there.

The room was dark and chilly, and her
breathing echoed in his ears. He went in search of the light switch. The low
bulb setting purposely only lit the room one shade lighter, but it was enough
to see the shadow dampening her pretty face.

“Okay,” she said out loud, like she was
her own coach. “Okay.”

“We’re out of here, Emma.
Now.”

She held up her small hand and he’d have
latched onto it had his hands been available. “No. We’re not leaving. I’m fine.
I just needed a second,” she said. That wasn’t her “I’ve got this” voice. She
was acting and not doing a very bang-up job of it.

Sam had no choice but to touch.

He fumbled around and found her other hand
and took it into his, receiving an instantaneous jolt of comfort. He hoped he
affected her the same way but couldn’t be sure. She was awfully still.

Emma looked at the neon hands of the
wall clock. “We have one hour before the second show lets out,” she said.

“I’m assuming you have some plan, Emma.”
God, please tell him she had a plan. Because the only one he had was to let go
and keep his hands to himself, no matter what.

She stared through him and scanned the
near nothingness of the room. “I do. I do have one. I want you to strip for me,
Sam.”

Chapter Five

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” she said
back.

She had to be out of her mind.

“Do this, Sam. Trust me.”

She kept saying that. He wanted to shake
her shoulders and yell, “I do” until she believed him, but those brute tactics
never worked on her. Yelling, showing his frustration, would only serve to keep
them from dealing in the here and now. He had to be honest, and this desperate
move of hers was evidence that once and for all they had to address that night.

“You know I can’t say no to
you,
and what about your job? What do you think it would do
to me if I got you fired?”

Her brown eyes closed and looked back up
at him, determined. “
Relations
gets
people fired. This isn’t us having relations,” she
said.

He’d call her a liar but something held
his tongue. Something like the way her words just now felt like a slap to a
silly boy’s face
who
had gotten things all wrong with
the girl he liked.

“Fine.
I trust you.”
He stepped to her, being sure to leave an inch between them so they didn’t
touch. But she was so
close,
all he had to do was
whisper the rest. “Don’t you dare let this be about anything more,
Emma.
” He wouldn’t finish with what was really in his heart.
If she said this wasn’t about relations, then he had to accept it and not
expect anything else.

He supposed he owed her.

“This is really what you want?” he asked
one last time to be sure.

Her slow nod made him think twice but
when she rubbed her palms down her thighs, all he could do was act.

One piece of clothing at a time, he
shucked out of his dress whites, starting a neat pile on the floor. He fisted
the sides of his collar in each hand and slowly popped the shirt open.

Her gaze burned each bit of his skin as
he exposed it to her.

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.