Stay Well Soon (8 page)

There are cheese and tomato rolls for lunch. Morgan's dad cuts us up some pear and we eat that too. Morgan and I talk about how fruit tastes better cut up, except for plums.

After lunch, Morgan suggests we dress up as suffragettes to help us understand what it was like.

We go into Morgan's parents' room. It is a very big room with no furniture except for a bed, which has no legs. It is very tidy and empty. There are no clothes on the floor or anything.

One wall of the room has mirrors from the floor to the ceiling. Morgan slides across one of the mirrors and behind it there is a long row of dresses, skirts and coats hanging up.

‘Are you sure your mum won't mind?' I ask.

‘No. She thinks it's funny when I try on her clothes.'

We both put on long dresses and cardigans, like in the olden days. We go back to Morgan's room and make signs by sticking pieces of paper onto rulers. Morgan's says, ‘
equal rights for women
' and mine says, ‘
votes for women'
.

‘We should do a protest now,' says Morgan.

‘Okay,' I say.

We march out into the lounge room. Morgan shouts, ‘What do we want?'

She looks at me, but I don't know what to say.

Morgan explains, ‘I say, “What do we want?” and you say, “Votes for women”.'

‘How do you know that?'

‘Dad took me to a protest for the refugees once. That's how you do it.' She tries again. ‘What do we want?'

‘Votes for women!'

‘When do we want it?'

Morgan mouths, ‘Now', at me.

‘Now!'

‘What do we want?'

‘Votes for women.'

‘When do we want it?'

‘Now!'

Morgan's dog Tasha starts barking as a car pulls into the driveway. Tasha is small, black and yappy. If Angel ever met Tasha she would try to eat her.

‘It's Mum!' says Morgan.

Morgan's mum has long black hair like Morgan. She's wearing a skirt and stripy red and white socks that go all the way up to her knees. I have seen them for sale at the Captains Hill market.

We do the protest for Morgan's mum and dad and they both say it is really good.

Then Morgan and I go on the internet and find a video of Emily Davison being trampled by a horse at the Epsom Derby. She did it to protest for women's rights; it wasn't the horse's fault.

Morgan goes funny and starts staring at the wall. She says she's just realised how Indigo and Jade died. They were trampled by a spirited thoroughbred. It wasn't the horse's fault, he was just sad because his mother died when he was a colt. We go outside and hold our bracelets up to the light to remember Indigo and Jade.

Mum lets me stay home on my own on Sunday. She has bent the rules just for today because there is so much washing to do because we are never home. We are all running out of clean socks.

This is the first time I have ever been allowed to stay home by myself. I can watch whatever I want on television.

The house is very quiet. The only sound is the washing machine.

I turn on the television.

The washing machine beeps, which means it is finished. I turn off the television and go into the laundry. I put the wet washing in a basket and put in another load. I lean against the machine until the water has finished filling up.

I pick up the washing basket and take it outside to the line. It is a cloudy day. Fingers crossed that it won't rain.

We are running out of pegs so I have to hang the socks up in pairs. Mum bought a new packet of pegs only a few months ago but we are always losing them.

I look in the grass for pegs and I find thirteen.

Back in the laundry I put the basket on top of the machine. It is very quiet in the house now. But then I hear a creaking sound. I stop still. There's another creak and a rustle. It sounds like the noise is coming from the kitchen. Like there's a person in the kitchen.

I want to escape. I quickly open the back door and go outside into the backyard.

Maybe I am being silly. If there was someone in the house, Angel would have barked. She always barks when strangers come. Dad Tony trained her that way. Angel loved Dad Tony even though he was always yelling at her.

I crouch down and give Angel a pat on the head. She rolls over and wants a scratch on the tummy.

I stand up and go closer to the back door. I can't hear anything now except the washing machine.

I walk around the house to the kitchen window and look in. I can't see anyone.

I go back into the house and step into the kitchen. I hear the rustling noise again and I see a plastic bag on the bench waving around in the wind. I shut the window and it stops.

That still doesn't explain the creaking sound. I will have to investigate.

I pick up a big frying pan for protection and I walk into each room of the house. To be on the safe side I check behind the doors and in the cupboards.

Rhys's room is last. There's no-one in there. I guess the creaking was nothing after all. I put the frying pan back in the kitchen and go back to Rhys's room. His room smells gross, like him. There are tissues and clothes all over the floor.

I pick up a big armful of clothes. I try to hold them far out in front of me so I can't smell them. I take them to the laundry and put them in the dirty pile.

The dirty washing pile looks the same size as it was this morning.
Will it never end?

I am getting hungry. Mum told me there was cheese and bread in the fridge but I don't want a boring old cheese sandwich for lunch. Maybe after the next load of washing is hung out I will ride my bike down the street to the shops and get a sausage roll. Except sausage rolls are three-fifty and obviously I have to save all my money for horse equipment.

In the lounge room I pick up all the cushions from the couch. I find a dollar coin and a fifty-cent coin. I look on the dresser in Mum's room. There's a ten-dollar note, but she will notice if I take it.

I walk past Rhys's room and see his savings jar sitting on his dresser. It is in the shape of a motorbike.

I turn the jar upside down and try to shake the coins out of the slot in the rider's helmet. They won't come out. I pull the rubber stopper out of the bottom and some coins rattle out. There's exactly three dollars fifty. If I take that plus the one dollar fifty, I can have a sausage roll and a can of Creamy Soda because of the special deal.

When I've hung out the next load of washing I ride my bike to the Langwarrin shops. I am so hungry now. My mouth starts watering when I smell the chips being cooked in the shop.

Mrs Baker, who used to be a teacher at school until she started crying all the time, is working in the shop.

‘Hello, Stevie,' she says.

‘Hello, Mrs Baker,' I say.

I order the special sausage-roll-and-can-of-drink deal. She puts a sausage roll in a bag and hands me a can.

I give her my money. The cash register takes ages to open up. ‘Sorry, love,' says Mrs Baker. ‘This register's as slow as a wet week. What are you up to today?'

‘Doing the washing,' I say.

‘The washing-up?'

‘No, the clothes washing.'

‘You do the laundry all by yourself?'

‘Yes.' Me and Dad Ben used to do it together, but now it is just me.

‘You are such a good girl, helping your mum,' Mrs Baker says. ‘How's Rhys going?'

‘He's okay.' I pick up my lunch. ‘Thank you,' I say.

‘I wish my children were more like you.'

I ride my bike to visit Star, but he's not there. I sit on the stump to eat my lunch. The sausage roll has gone a bit cold,
but what can you do?

When I get home the washing is all dry. Even though it was cloudy, it was a good drying day, warm and windy. I get the washing in and fold it in front of the television. Mum comes home and she helps me finish the socks.

The phone rings and it is Dad Ben. He talks to Mum for ages and then finally I get a turn. I tell him all about the Australian history project. He says it sounds like I'm busier than a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest.

Dad Ben has a way with words.

I tell him that the presentation is on Grandparents and Friends Day but he doesn't take the hint.

Morgan is late to school on Monday, so I have to sit by myself again. Luckily, I have brought
Prancer in the Dark
to read.

We have Indonesian first thing. I ask Morgan how to say, ‘I'm fine', but she says she doesn't know. That is a surprise; Morgan is really good at Indonesian because she's been to Bali. The first time I went to Morgan's house she showed me the blue and silver sarong that she bought. I hope I own something as beautiful as that one day.

At lunchtime Morgan is being all quiet and funny so I get out
Prancer in the Dark
.

I have not even read a page when Morgan says out of nowhere, ‘What did you do yesterday?'

‘Not much,' I say.

‘You didn't go anywhere, visit anyone?'

‘No,' I say.

‘I know.'

‘Know what?'

‘About your big secret.'

I don't say anything.

‘Your brother Rhys has cancer,' she says.

‘How do you know?'

‘Brianna told me. I saw her at Bunnings on Sunday.'

‘Why were you at Bunnings?'

‘Dad's building a mezzanine.'

‘What's that?'

‘It's like an extra storey for the house but it doesn't go all the way across. It's going to overlook the lounge room. But I don't care about that. Don't change the subject. Brianna told me about Rhys.'

‘How would Brianna know?'

‘From her mum, Mrs Anselma.'

Of course. Brianna can't keep a secret.

‘That's why you can't do anything after school. You go to visit Rhys at the hospital.'

‘So?'

‘So why did you keep it a secret from your best friend? Friends should trust each other. You're not my friend at all! You're wearing that bracelet as though it means something, but it doesn't. You may as well be walking on Indigo and Jade's graves.'

Morgan walks away.

She passes April, who's coming back to the classroom with her lunch box. April says, ‘Trouble in paradise, ladies?'

When I get home from school I put my bracelet in the bin. I don't want to remember stupid old Indigo and Jade anymore. They're not even real.

Morgan doesn't even like horses, and horses hate her. All that time I've been wasting with Morgan, I should have been trying to get my horse, Atta Girl. She would never trample me.

I go back to Rhys's room. No-one knows that I took the money for the sausage roll from his savings jar but I know it was the wrong thing to do. I didn't really need a sausage roll. I could have saved that money for Atta Girl.

I take the stopper off the jar. I will just take the same amount as I did the other day, but this time I will save it for horse equipment.

I take out a two-dollar coin, a one-dollar coin and a fifty-cent piece. Then I quickly go back to my room.

There is a knock on my door as I'm putting the money in my top drawer.

‘What?' I say.

Mum opens the door. Angel is standing beside her; she likes to follow Mum around. ‘Stevie, love,' Mum says. ‘I found this in the bin.' She's holding the stupid blue bracelet.

‘So?' I say.

‘So, why are you throwing away your good things?'

‘I don't want it.'

‘But it's lovely.' She puts the bracelet on my bedside dresser. ‘I think it's made of real stones.'

‘I said I don't want it!' Angel turns and runs away down the corridor because she doesn't like shouting.

‘Stevie . . .'

‘I don't want it. Why can't anybody understand that? I
don't
want a stupid bracelet. I
don't
want to be friends with stupid Morgan. I
don't
want to go to the hospital. I. Just. Want. A. Pony. Is that too much to ask?'

5

Beach Horse

Because of when I shouted and then I couldn't stop crying, I have to go to the hospital. It means I don't have to go to school today, so that's something.

We have to wait for ages, but luckily I am good at waiting because of Rhys. I imagine that I am riding Atta Girl along the beach with an orange and pink sunset over the water. The wind whips through Atta Girl's mane and my hair. I can almost smell the sea and hear her hooves on the sand. Atta Girl's silver mane would start to glow gold as it catches the light of the last rays of the setting sun. There are some places in Mornington where you can ride horses along the beach. But it wouldn't be the same if I wasn't with Atta Girl.

Finally, a lady comes out to get us. The lady has curly hair and looks a bit like Miss Ellis but I am supposed to call her Sandra. Mum waits outside while I go in to talk to Sandra. Her office is a small room with a big desk but she doesn't sit at the desk, she sits on a chair in front of me.

First, Sandra explains to me that she's a counsellor and she helps people with their feelings. Sandra asks me lots of questions about school and Rhys being sick and Mum and Dad Ben and about how I feel. Then she asks me to do a drawing of my family. The crayons she gives me are not as good as my pencils, so it won't be my best drawing. When I'm finished, she asks me to describe what I've drawn, even though it's obvious because I have labelled all the people like she asked me to.

She finally lets me go and then she asks Mum to come in to speak to her.

Mum tells me to wait outside. They are as slow as a wet week. I can't concentrate on reading my book because I know they are talking about me.

Eventually, the door opens again and Sandra pokes her head out. ‘Would you like to come back in, Stevie?' she says.

The things they tell me are:

• •
  Rhys has cancer in his blood. It is called acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. Sandra says it doesn't matter if I can't remember the name.
  
• •
  Rhys will have to have chemotherapy to get rid of the cancer.
  
• •
  In Rhys's operation they put a tube in his chest so they can give him the chemotherapy drugs more easily.
  
• •
  The chemotherapy might make Rhys feel very sick.
  
• •
  Rhys is coming home next week but he'll have to keep coming to the hospital for his treatment.
  
• •
  It's not my fault that Rhys has cancer.
  
• •
  I can't catch the cancer from Rhys.
  
• •
  It's okay for me to talk about how I'm feeling. It's healthy to talk about your feelings. Leaving your feelings bottled up won't work for long and that might be why I shouted and then couldn't stop crying yesterday.
  
• •
  Sandra wants me to keep a drawing journal about my feelings.
  
• •
  I can ask any questions I want.
  

‘Do you have any questions?' asks Sandra.

I don't want to make Mum cry like with the make-a-wish thing. I look at Mum. She seems okay. ‘Is Rhys going to die?' I ask.

Mum says, ‘Not if I've got anything to do with it.'

Sandra says the doctors are doing everything they can for Rhys.

‘Rhys is sick now,' says Mum. ‘But he's going to get better. He is. This is just something we have to get through.'

On the way home Mum says she can't be bothered going home and cooking. So Mum and I have pizza at a proper restaurant with tablecloths in Frankston. It is delicious.

After Mum drops me off at school the next morning I go straight to the portable benches and get out my book. I didn't want to come back to school today. Morgan hates me now because I kept secrets, and I still don't have a horse, so I can't be in the group. But I can't stay away from school forever, so I am here.

‘Hi, Stevie,' says a voice.

I look up and it is Morgan. She sits beside me.

‘Guess what?' she says.

‘What?'

‘I've had an idea!'

‘What is it?'

‘As part of our suffragette presentation, we could re-enact Emily Davison being trampled by a horse. One of us could be Emily and the other one could be the horse.'

That is a really good idea.

‘Can I be the horse?' I ask.

‘Okay,' says Morgan.

So we are friends again, even though I still haven't told Morgan anything about Rhys, and he still has acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.

Mum meets me at school at the end of the day, but instead of going straight to the hospital we are going to a special meeting with Mrs Anselma and Mr Parks.

Mum talks to them on her own first. I sit on the couch outside Mrs Anselma's office. The couch is black leather and very comfortable. I have never sat here before because you only go to Mrs Anselma's office if you are in big trouble, and I have never been in big trouble before.

I look at the Prep art stuck on the corridor wall opposite. Preppies are only little and they don't know how to draw properly yet. Most of the people in the pictures don't even have proper hands and feet. One of the preppies has drawn a horse. They have written
horse
underneath the picture, which is how I know, because otherwise it just looks like a brown blob with sticks coming out of it. I think the horse is supposed to be at the beach because there is a blue wavy line behind it.

What if Atta Girl is scared of waves? I guess that would be the end of my dream to ride her on the beach. But we would find other places to go.

Mr Parks opens the door and says, ‘Stevie, you can join us now.'

Mrs Anselma and Mr Parks are sitting on one side of the desk. I sit in the empty chair beside Mum on the other.

‘Now, first,' says Mrs Anselma, ‘you're not in trouble, Stevie. Not at all. We just want to talk to you about how you've been going.'

‘I know it's difficult for you with Rhys being sick,' says Mr Parks. ‘If you need help with anything, you can ask.'

But I don't need any help; I'm not the one who can't go to school. ‘I'm okay,' I say.

‘Would you like me to talk to the class about what leukaemia is?' asks Mr Parks.

‘No.'

‘Are you sure?' asks Mum. ‘It might help them understand what's going on.'

‘No.'

I don't want everyone at school to know about Rhys. When I come to school I just want everything to be normal.

We are late to the hospital because of the special meeting at school. Lara isn't in the Kidz Space when I arrive so I go back to Rhys's room with Mum. He is still asleep so I get out my drawing journal to draw my feelings.

I draw me and Morgan at Grandparents and Friends Day.

Rhys wakes up.

‘What are you drawing?' he asks.

I show him my picture.

‘That's pretty cool,' he says. ‘But you should add some blood.'

He's right. Rhys does have good ideas. He used to do really good drawings of murders. But when you're in Year 7 you don't do illustrations anymore.

I show Rhys the picture with the blood.

‘That's
awesome
,' says Rhys.