Steady (39 page)

She was scared again, this episode bringing back all kinds of bad memories as she made her way to the hospital.

“Please, God, not again.”

This is what she’d been afraid of with Will, what she knew was coming. The other shoe was always there; as soon as you trusted, put your hopes up, loved someone, it came for you, ready to drop. How many times did she have to witness this before she learned her lesson?

She drove as fast as the speed limit allowed, making her way to the hospital. She knew its location because it was where her parents had been brought after their car crash. She found the emergency room parking lot and, thankfully, a spot. She parked and then ran to the door. She walked up to the window where a nurse or someone in the admissions department sat. Deciding against asking, she followed the sign pointing the way to the emergency room waiting area, which she could see was at the end of the hall.

She approached two glass doors and could see Colburn sitting there. She was surprised by how old he looked. She’d never seen him look old before. She knew the godfathers were in their late sixties, but, up until this point, they’d always looked young to her.

She opened the doors and walked in, going over to stand next to Colburn, who stood up as she made her way to him. He wrapped her in a hug and she hugged him back, tears coming into her eyes.

“How is he?” she asked.

“I don’t know. They still have him back in the emergency room. The nurse said someone will come to explain once they figure out what is wrong. Oh, Katrina,” he said.

“Hey, Colburn, sit. Let’s just wait and see. Uncle C is a tough old guy, like someone else I know,” she said, deciding to be the strong one as they had been for her when her parents were here.

Uncle C and Colburn had been partners even before the war. Charles had jumped into the middle of a bar fight that Colburn had gotten into one night in Mississippi. It was a night that had not been conducive to being black. Charles had jumped in and helped two men in uniform, and they were fast friends ever since, growing more so once they’d gotten to know each other. They learned that they were more alike than they were different. Deployments to different platoons during the war had separated them, but they’d survived and had been partners for at least twenty years now. She knew what her Uncle C meant to Colburn. She grabbed his hand and held it while he stared off into space.

“It will be okay,” she said, as much to Colburn as to herself. They waited a little over an hour before a doctor entered the room. He looked as young as she in those blue scrubs she always associated with doctors. He was tall and African-American, good-looking and confident.

“James Colburn,” he said.

“That’s me,” Colburn said, walking over to the doctor, Katrina at his side.

“Hello,” he said, extending his hand to Colburn, giving them both a quick glance.

“I’m Dr. Charles Gaston, the attending surgical physician for your partner, Charles Abernathy. He is your partner, I understand?”

“Yes,” Colburn answered.

“Well, we’ve run several tests. He has had a heart attack caused by a partial blockage in the left ventricle leading to the heart. Luckily for him, his heart has not sustained any damage. It will, however, require angioplasty.”

“Okay,” Colburn said.

“Angioplasty is surgery where we open a blood vessel partially blocked by plaque buildup so that blood can flow through it more easily to the heart.”

Katrina listened as he continued his explanation, his eyes directed at Colburn. He seemed knowledgeable and confident for one so young, but maybe he was older than he looked. She couldn’t tell.

“When will the surgery take place?” Katrina asked.

“Hopefully Monday, but I’ll know for sure before I leave. After he’s stabilized, he’ll be transported to the Coronary Care Unit on the fourth floor, where he’ll remain until surgery.”

“How long will he need to remain in the hospital?” Katrina asked.

If everything goes well, he should come back to the CCU unit for a few days, then he’ll be moved to one of our step-down units, where less monitoring is required. If that goes well, maybe he can leave by the end of the week. But that is if everything works in our favor,” he said.

“How dangerous is the surgery?” Katrina asked.

“Surgery is always serious business; this isn’t any different. But Mr. Abernathy seems to be in fairly good condition otherwise, so he should be fine.”

“Can we see him?” Colburn asked.

“Not right now. We are still running a few minor tests. I’ll have the nurse notify you as soon as you can.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Colburn and Katrina said. He smiled and walked out the door just as quietly as he’d entered. She and Colburn walked back to their chairs and sat to wait. An hour later, they were able to see Charles. Katrina found him lying there with tubes attached to his body. He gave her a smile as she walked over to stand next to him.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, smiling back.

“Fine, now that you’re here. How is my favorite goddaughter today?”

“I’m your only goddaughter,” she said, squeezing his hand and bending over to kiss his hand. “I’m not going to stay long because I know Colburn really wants to be here giving you a hard time. So you take care and I’ll see you after they move you,” she said, bending over to kiss him again.

“I love you, Uncle C,” she said, looking into his eyes.

“I know. Love you back.”

She turned and walked back to the waiting room, where Colburn sat. His eyes lifted up, surprised.

“That was quick.”

“I know. Why don’t you go back again. I’ll sit here until he is ready to go up.”

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yep, I’m sure. You go ahead. I know he loves me more, but he’s used to seeing you,” she said, smiling.

About an hour later, Colburn came out and they both walked to the waiting area on the fourth floor, deciding to stop at a vending machine on the way before making their way to where they would be spending the night. The doctor, looking more tired now, found them there after checking in on C. He would have surgery in the morning.

***

She was tired. There was nothing nice about sleeping in the waiting room of a hospital. She remembered it from her parents’ time here, short as it had been. There were people who spent a good deal of time at the hospital, waiting for their loved ones to improve. They’d known to secure the couches for the night. There was one couch left, and she wanted Colburn to sleep on it; she had to argue a while before he would take it, only to have him give it up to an older woman who arrived later. She knew he wouldn’t lie down. He was too strong and old-school to lie down, a throwback to the days when men were men. She pulled two chairs together to form a makeshift bed, leaving Colburn to his chair, and tried to get some sleep. She missed Will.

She didn’t really sleep, just dozed sporadically before waking early and getting up, careful to keep her noise to a minimum. She looked over and saw Colburn was still asleep, slouched over in the chair. She went in search of a bathroom and then walked the hospital corridors for a while before heading back. Colburn was still asleep, so she found her chair, which was still vacant, and sat.

Surgical prep for C would begin soon, she guessed; she had to take a deep breath at the thought of losing her godfathers. She loved them both. What would she do if she lost them? She was going to work with them, going to quit her job at the bank and finally take them up on their offer. She wanted as much time as she could get with the people who meant the world to her. And who was she kidding? The thought of doing what she loved every day was great. It held an exciting and extra appeal to her.

And what to do with Will? She loved him as much as she did her godfathers, maybe more, even. What to do about him? Was it better to take what she could and go for broke, as she’d decided to do with the godfathers, or should she let him go completely?

Where the godfathers were concerned, she couldn’t go back. They had been with her as long as her parents had. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, walk away from them. But could she walk away from Will?

Her cell phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. It was Will.

“Hey,” she said quietly, standing up and walking out into the hallway.

“Hey,” he said.

“What time is it there?”

“It’s about nine in the evening,” he said, sitting back on the bed in his hotel room. “You sound tired.”

“I am. Last night Uncle C had a heart attack caused by a partially blocked artery. I’m at the hospital with Colburn. He is scheduled for surgery later on this morning.”

“I’m sorry, Katrina. What did the doctor tell you?”

“He told us that C would be fine in the long term, but it would take a while for him to recover.”

“How is Colburn?”

“He’s okay. He’s asleep now in the waiting room. The sleeping arrangements here leave something to be desired, though,” she added, her attempt at levity.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay. Just worried. You know me.”

She slid her back down the wall until she was seated on the floor, her legs pulled up to her chest, her knees next to her face. She wrapped an arm around them and lay her head down.

“Hey, you can’t know about all the possible things that can happen in life, Steady.”

She smiled at the use of his nickname for her. “How are you? How is work?” she asked.

“Work is work. Long days, major meeting on Wednesday. Should be easier around here after that. I miss you,” he said.

“I miss you, too. Didn’t think I would this much.”

“I’m going to take that in the positive way, that you love me more than you’d realized.”

She was silent for a while. “I do love you, you’re right, but this whole Uncle C thing has me more than a little spooked,” she said, pausing and taking a deep breath. “Remember me telling you that I didn’t think I could handle it if something happened to us?”

“Yes,” he said, sitting back against the headboard of his bed, his feet stretched out before him. His stomach started to churn at the turn in the conversation.

“Well, I’ve been giving that more thought, and maybe we should slow down, you know, make sure this is what we want.”

“This is what we want. I want. Slow down, K, don’t panic. We’re doing just fine. I’m okay with where we are.”

“I don’t know that I am,” she said, starting to cry, letting go of the pent-up fears caused by C being here. “Coming here again brought back so many memories for me. It’s where my parents were taken following the accident, where they died,” she said, her voice trailing off a little as she cried again. “I don’t think I can handle something more with you. I’m going to quit my job, I’m sure I am, and take the godfathers up on their offer.”

“What offer?”

She’d forgotten she hadn’t told him about that. “Remember when you found me crying in your backyard?”

“Yes.”

“I talked to the godfathers about starting my own business and they told me that they’d planned to leave Abernathy and Co. to me. I could work for them anytime I wanted, give up working at the bank.”

Trying not to let the hurt from her keeping something so big from him creep into his voice, he paused for a few seconds. “So are you going to work for them?”

“Yes, especially in light of what has happened to C. He and Colburn need me, and you know how much I love gardening. We could all be happy. I could take care of them both and learn the business, you know, help them.”

“What about your life, Katrina? Would that be enough for you?”

“Sure it would. I could take care of them, help them run the business. It would be enough.”

“How about you think it over for a while. Give yourself time. Give them time. Don’t make any decisions until things settle down. We can talk over your options when I get back.”

It was quiet on the telephone for a while. “Katrina, are you there?”

“Yes.”

“If you want to work with your godfathers I can certainly understand, but we can still work. It’s not an all or nothing deal.” Silence greeted that comment. “Katrina, are you still there?”

“Yes, but I better go check on Colburn. People are starting to move around here. I bet they’ve started prepping C for surgery. I’d better go.”

“Will you call me later? Don’t worry about waking me. I want to hear about C, okay?”

“Sure,” she said.

“I love you, Katrina.”

“I know. I love you, too. Get some sleep and don’t worry about me,” she said, disconnecting.

‘Don’t worry about me’, he thought. Sure, he’d worry; she sounded so sad. He missed her. He wished he could be there with her; maybe he could, he thought, pulling out his laptop. He had that one major meeting on Wednesday. No way he could leave before, not if he wanted to keep his job. But he wanted to be there for her. She scared him. What if he wasn’t able to convince her that life with him would work? He could understand her desire to leave her job and work with her godfathers; it was a perfect place for her. He’d also hoped she wouldn’t use it as a way to escape life, by shutting herself off from the world—and him.