Steel and Sorrow (51 page)

“What Kroke did,” said Arine.

The simple statement said it all. Despite fighting for his life and the life of an entire army Kaz had tried to save Crusher’s brother. Wiqua had said afterward that Grin likely would not have survived, but to Elyse that did not excuse Kroke’s actions. Up until that moment, she had hoped they could mend their relationship and become friends again.

Arine continued. “I heard what happened from the others. He’ll keep the One Below company at the end of his days.”

Elyse’s heart tugged for the fate of a man she once called her friend. It hardened.

We all must pay for the consequences of our life’s choices.

They rode a bit in silence. Arine made a questioning sound with her throat.

“Is something wrong?” asked Elyse.

“No, Your Majesty. I was just thinking about Kaz.”

“Really?”

“Yes, for better or worse most everyone thought making a foreigner your commander was a grave error. Then the rumors of him fighting like a man possessed and that devilish armor he wears.” The woman shuddered. “But he went to such trouble trying to save a man who moments before wanted to kill him. That says a lot about who Kaz really is.”

* * *

“Well?” asked Drake.

Janik wore a big smile as he came walking up. “He said he’ll think about it.”

“He’ll think about it? What does that mean? The way you’re grinning, I thought Krytien had said yes.”

“Not yet. He actually freaked out at first. But once I explained everything to him, he calmed down. Don’t worry, he just has to think about it and he wants to look at some of the texts you gave him to verify how we treated the chemicals,” said Janik.

“So, you think he’ll come around then?”

“Definitely. Apparently, Krytien actually used Nitroglycas before, so he is familiar with it. However, his experience with the stuff has only been in the form that requires a High Mage to create. The fact that you found a way to better make and store it, reduces its risk and the need for a High Mage’s involvement. He’s going to want a small test tomorrow.”

Drake jumped. “Yes!” He froze. “You told him we don’t have much of the stuff, right? It’s taken me months just to get the little bit of the ingredients I have, especially while we’ve traveled.”

“Yeah. He knows. But he’d rather be safe than screw it up in battle.”

Drake sighed. “I can’t argue with that.” He grinned and slapped Janik in the arm. “We did it!”

“You did it. You found all the references in the books about Quoron’s war strategies.”

“Yeah, but you provided the advice about whether my theories would work from a sorcery standpoint.”

“Call it even.”

“Deal,” said Drake. “Let’s go check everything over again for tomorrow. If Krytien gives us the go-ahead to show Kaz, imagine how this will help against Conroy.”

The two quickly ran off to Drake’s personal supplies, eager to review their handiwork.

* * *

“How are you holding up?”

Yanasi turned and came to attention. “I’m doing better, General.”

Grayer smiled. “You look better. More rested. And I can tell Rygar is less worried than before. He’s a good man.”

Yanasi blushed. “Yes, he is.”

“Seeing you two together brings back memories of my own family, you know.”

“I’ve never heard you talk about them, sir.”

The general’s eyes took on a distant look. “Yes, I have a son. My dear wife, Helneth, died giving birth to our second”

Yanasi reflexively cupped her mouth. “I’m so sorry, sir.”

He waved her off. “No, it’s fine. Even though it was over twenty-five years ago, I rarely talk about it. She was an amazing woman. After she died, people urged me to take another wife, but no one else could meet the standards she set. I eventually stopped looking.”

“Is your son well?” she asked.

The general frowned. “Last I heard, yes. He moved away several years back, seeking to make his fortune elsewhere. We write each other every now and then, but nothing more. The boy never understood my loyalty to the crown during Aurnon the Eighth’s reign.” He paused. “It’s hard to explain to my son that after his mother died, my duties are what kept me sane. You could say that Cadonia became my wife after Helneth. And just like my dear wife, I’d gladly lay down my life to see Cadonia safe again.”

The general cleared his throat and ran his hand over his mouth. “Yes, well I’m terribly sorry, Captain. I came over here genuinely interested in your well-being and somehow turned the mood sour.”

“Nothing to apologize for, General. I’m honored that you would share your wife’s memories with me.” She looked down, trying to think of something better she could say to Grayer. “I know where Hag has some wine hidden. Would you care to have a cup with me? You know, for those we’ve lost.”

“Yes Captain, I believe I would.”

* * *

Krytien let out a yawn as he drifted through camp. He had called for all mages to work on the lessons he had developed from his studies of Amcaro’s work. Things had clicked for many of the younger mages thanks to Nora and Janik’s examples.

Those two have come so far since Estul Island. I think in the long term, each has the potential to become a High Mage one day.

A few others also showed flashes of brilliance, but one in particular still caused Krytien fits. Although Lufflin finally began to put more effort into his training, it was obvious that he did so begrudgingly.

What a waste. He has the most potential of all but is too hard-headed to listen to what I have to say. If it wasn’t for Nora and the fear of being on his own, I think he would have left already.

Krytien yawned again. He couldn’t wait until the campaign ended, if only so he could sleep for a week. The long days had grown longer as summer arrived. Unfortunately, dusk did not mean he could rest, especially not as the end seemed so close. He wanted to spend some time in the books Drake had given him in case there was something he could use in the near future.

I need to thank the boy for his stubbornness as well.

Someone coughing, hacking with enough force that the sound carried throughout the night gave Krytien pause. Heavy gasping for air and the mumbling of voices followed. He located the source and walked toward Hag and Wiqua’s tent. As he neared, he heard Wiqua speak in a soothing tone.

“Please, rest,” said the Byzernian.

“I still need to see to a few things,” said Hag.

“Tell me and I’ll see to them then.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Woman!” said Wiqua, raising his voice. “I am more than capable of doing your work if it is needed. You will lie down and get some rest or so help me I’ll strap you down myself.” Krytien had never heard Wiqua speak in such a harsh tone and though he felt odd for prying, he came around to the front of the tent where the flap had been pinned open.

“Is everything alright?” asked Krytien.

They both turned. Hag sat on the edge of a cot, sweating. Wiqua stood over her with a hand on her shoulder.

Hag did her best to straighten and collect herself. “Everything’s fine. You just heard a little foreplay is all,” she said with a half-hearted attempt at a grin. “We usually keep that stuff a little more private, but we got caught up in ourselves.”

She finished the last word and went into another coughing fit. Wiqua closed his eyes and Krytien saw the Byzernian move his mouth. Slowly the fit subsided and Hag eased down in the cot.

“Maybe I’ll just rest a bit after all,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

Krytien frowned at Wiqua. “How long has she been this bad?”

“It started months ago and has slowly gotten worse. The last few weeks have been particularly rough,” said Wiqua.

“Can’t you heal her?”

“I do what she lets me, which is mostly easing her pain.”

“You can’t heal old age,” said Hag.

“Is that true?” Krytien asked.

Wiqua shrugged. “More or less. If she was younger or took better care of herself, it might be possible to extend her life. But she’s lived hard. It’s taken quite a toll on her. Extending her life would not ease any of her pain.”

One Above, not her too. I guess it makes sense given her age, but then again, she’s always been old. And she’s always been here.

Krytien cleared his throat as he felt a lump form. He and Wiqua talked over Hag’s ragged breathing. “How long does she have?”

“Months. Weeks. Days. Hours. I honestly cannot say,” said Wiqua. Krytien saw how much the old woman meant to him.

“And when in the name of the One Above were you planning to tell someone?” said Krytien with more grit in his voice than he had intended. He couldn’t help himself. She was the longest standing member of the Hell Patrol. He couldn’t imagine her not around.

“It was her wish to keep it secret. There has been too much turmoil in the ranks since Jonrell’s death and she didn’t want to add any more stress.”

“One Above, you at least have to tell Kaz.”

Hag’s eyes shot open. Krytien thought she had fallen asleep. “No! Not that. Most of all do not tell him.”

“As commander he has the right to know,” said Krytien.

She tried to sit up, but a coughing fit took her back down to the cot. She collected herself quicker this time. “Because he is commander, that’s why he shouldn’t know,” she finally managed. “He’s got too much troubling him already. I know you can see it. The last thing the big softie needs is to worry about me too. Please Krytien, don’t say anything to him until this is done.”

The honest plea took Krytien by surprise. Hag rarely ever let her guard down, but the mage saw that the last thing she truly wanted was to burden anyone.

Krytien slowly nodded. “I understand. It’s for you to tell.”

“Thank you.”

“Just make sure you stay alive long enough to do it. It’s the least you owe him and everyone else for that matter.”

“Then drop all this mushy stuff and let me get some rest.”

Krytien smiled. “I can do that.”

He exchanged a look with Wiqua and left the tent, wiping his eyes.

* * *

Kaz looked up as Elyse entered his tent.

“Working late again, I see,” she said.

Kaz grunted. “Of course. We’ll end up converging with Jeldor sometime in the next two days. Based on reports, we’re likely to face off against Conroy and Markus by the end of the week.”

Elyse walked over to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. Her touch caused him to flinch, but she did not remove it.

“I hope you know just how much your effort means to me. I nearly gave up after Jonrell’s death. Without you, this war would already be lost.”

Kaz turned away from her intense gaze. His guilt over Grin’s death weighed on him too greatly. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said.

Elyse grabbed his arm and pulled for Kaz to turn back and face her. “I wasn’t finished,” she said.

Kaz found he couldn’t speak as he stared into her emerald eyes.

“Not only would the war be lost but so would my kingdom. Most importantly, I would be lost. You have been the rock in my life. It is because of you that I’m stronger. You’ve given me everything.” She paused. “I know the mysteries of your past bother you more than you let on. I just wanted to tell you that I don’t care about your past, I care only about the man you are now. You are a great man and someone I am proud to know.”

Elyse’s words bit deep into his flesh as he thought about his conversation with Kroke. He knew the right thing to do would be to tell Elyse the truth. Yet, he found himself conflicted after hearing her open up to him.

“The decision is yours,”
Kroke had told him earlier.
He doesn’t care, so why should I? What’s one secret? No. I can’t do that.

He opened his mouth to tell Elyse the truth, when she did something he would not have expected in ten lifetimes.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him close, and kissed him. He forgot his guilt as her soft lips pressed into his and his arms found their way around her waist. They held each other tightly and Kaz did not want the moment to end. Yet, his past haunted him.

As he kissed Elyse, a vision entered his mind of a beautiful woman with soft skin, the color of polished onyx. In the vision, he caressed her cheek and stared into her deep brown eyes.

“I love you, Kaz.”

He started to respond in turn, except he blinked. And when he did, he saw that it was Elyse who had spoken those words. He had caressed her cheek.

Who . . . who was that?

Intense emotions for the woman in his vision coursed through his mind as he pulled away from Elyse.

She was someone I loved.

“Is everything alright?” Elyse asked. She looked alarmed.

Kaz looked up, realizing he had dropped to his knees. Elyse wore a look of confusion.

“I’m sorry,” she continued, her expression turning to one of hurt. “I shouldn’t have overstepped myself.”

Kaz opened his mouth, trying to find the words to explain what happened, but the more Kaz fought, the more impossible it became to do so. Slowly, the image of the woman faded.

“Kaz, please. Speak to me. Are you alright? What happened?” Elyse asked.

She knelt down in front of him.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

Chapter 37

“They would be an impressive host if we didn’t outnumber them two to one,” said Markus, shielding his eyes from the blistering sun.

Conroy’s mount shuffled restlessly in place. His squinted eyes never left the enemy’s lines when he answered. “Numbers don’t mean everything.”

“As Kaz has shown before.”

“We will win,” said Conroy, sweat beading on his brow. “But it will not be easy. Kaz’s men have become hardened veterans. Just look at their lines. Those are well-disciplined soldiers. He’s done wonders when you consider the state of the queen’s army before this began. Even though we have every advantage, I expect this to still be a hard fought battle.”

Markus grunted and Conroy almost chuckled to himself. Olasi’s son liked to think himself a man capable of ruling as well as his father had, but Conroy knew he was but a shadow of the former duke.