Steel and Sorrow (57 page)

* * *

Tobin returned from his appointments, bathed, and dressed in his finest attire before moving to the dining room. He entered to a cornucopia of sights and smells. The table displayed enough food to feed an army, yet only two place settings had been laid out.

Lucia stood at the head of the table wearing a flattering deep blue dress. “Dinner is ready,” she said simply.

Tobin walked over and took her in his arms. It had only been hours since he last saw Lucia, yet their time apart had felt like years.

Now that she’s mine I never want to let her go.

So caught up in the moment, it took Tobin several seconds to notice the difference in Lucia’s behavior. Though she allowed Tobin to pull her in close and her arms rested on his shoulders around his neck, she seemed tense, her body rigid.

Tobin pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

Lucia looked up as tears streaked down her cheeks. “I-I tried. I really did. I thought if I came here tonight things would fall into place. But it’s not.”

Tobin blinked. “I don’t understand.”

She cried harder. “After last night, I wanted this to work. For both of us. But I can’t do it. I still love Kaz too much and if I was with you, it would be for all the wrong reasons. That isn’t fair to either of us.” She pulled away from Tobin and whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.”

Lucia sped out the door as Tobin sank to his knees in a daze.

Chapter 39

Conroy surrendered himself and his army to Elyse.

Krytien had been around enough war to know that once the fighting ended, the real work began. Soldiers saw to their wounds and officers determined who should be held accountable for treason. Kaz ordered Krytien to evaluate Conroy and Markus’s mages closely in that regard. Afterward, Krytien spent much of his time assisting Wiqua heal the injured from both armies since everyone was on the same side again.

Kaz ordered a southward march to Segavona immediately. Elyse wanted to return to Conroy’s former residence while trying to determine who would be best suited, at least in the short term, to oversee the former duke’s territories.

As they settled behind the thick gray walls of Segavona, Krytien seized the first chance he had in weeks to speak privately with the mages from Kaz and Jeldor’s armies. It felt odd to open up and show his gratitude, but once he started to speak, he found that the words simply flowed out of him. He wondered if Jonrell and Ronav had ever experienced a similar feeling.

He started to leave, but surprisingly many of the mages wanted to shake his hand and personally offer their own thanks, knowing how difficult his task had been. Even the black-robed mages, who once had looked down on him for his lack of education, paid Krytien some of the highest compliments he had received.

Krytien smiled, feeling vindicated.

Maybe Philik was right in giving me the black robes after all.

Many of the green and yellow-robed mages showed appreciation for what they had learned from him. They didn’t know what the future held for them with the war over, and since Amcaro could not continue their education on Estul Island. Several hoped that once Elyse made a decision regarding the school’s future, Krytien might stay on and help with their development.

He was speechless.

After everyone else had left, Krytien noticed that one mage remained. He hadn’t spoken to Lufflin since the battle. Lufflin wore an intense look that worried Krytien.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, trying to feel the mage out.

“I wanted to talk to you in private. It’s been hard to get you alone since the battle,” said Lufflin as he walked over.

“Yes. Kaz keeps me quite busy.”

Lufflin stopped a couple of feet from Krytien and stared into the mage’s eyes. He extended a hand.

Krytien looked down warily and accepted the gesture.

“I wanted to apologize. For everything. I’m yours now.”

After exchanging nods, Lufflin walked away. Krytien shook his head.

One Above, will wonders ever cease?

* * *

Yanasi and Rygar sat at a clearing in the inner courtyard of Conroy’s home. She looked up at the night sky and watched the bright stars twinkle.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Rygar, putting his arm around her.

Yanasi sighed. “A lot of things. But mostly General Grayer.”

“He was a good man.”

“A hero,” corrected Yanasi.

“Without him I would’ve lost you.” Rygar pulled her close and wrapped both arms around her. “Look, the war’s over now and I’ve been thinking about us and our future.”

Yanasi blinked. “What?”

“I can’t imagine living my life without you, Yanasi. I want you to marry me.” He smiled. “Who knows, maybe we can have a family? What do you think?” he asked, suddenly nervous.

Tears streaked down Yanasi’s cheeks. “Yes,” she whispered. She leaned in and kissed him. They held each other while sitting silent in the night. Yanasi pulled away and wiped her face. “So, what do we do tomorrow then? I mean we have to tell Kaz, right? And I guess we need to find someone to do the ceremony. And . . .”

“Yanasi.”

She stopped and looked up at Rygar’s smiling face. “Yes?”

“Tomorrow will work itself out. How about we just enjoy tonight?”

She nodded and put her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Drake would miss dinner if he didn’t leave, but that didn’t stop him from turning another page. He had only been able to read in short bursts while the campaign was in full swing. Having finally reached Segavona, Conroy’s seat, he hoped to make up for lost time.

The door swung open and Raker called out. “C’mon kid, we finally got a chance to breathe. Get your head out of that book.”

Drake marked his place and turned. “You’re back early. I thought you were going to play cards.”

“So did I, but it’s a lot harder to cheat than it used to be. You try palming a card without your hand.” He spat.

“Then why come back here?”

Raker grinned. “Me and Kroke are going to this bathhouse I heard about. You wanna come? I hear they got women of all shapes and sizes. I’m sure they’ve got one close to your age. If not, there ain’t nothing wrong with an older woman.”

Drake tried to hide his nervousness, but still heard his voice quiver. “Nah, I’ve got too much to do here. I planned on staying up all night reading.”

Raker looked at him incredulously. “What would you want to do that for when you could relax in a hot bath with a beautiful woman? Maybe even two?”

Drake turned back to the book. “Kaz asked me to look up what I could about some place called Hesh. He thinks it has something to do with his past. I want to help him if I can. Besides, I like doing this stuff.”

Raker raised an eyebrow. “I never thought I’d see a boy your age choose a book over a woman. You’re starting to worry me, kid.”

Drake chuckled nervously. “It’s nothing. I’ll come with you some other time. I just want to clear my head tonight.”

Raker mumbled something about priorities. “Suit yourself.” He opened the door. “Don’t wait up.”

The door slammed and Drake heard fading sounds of Raker whistling down the hallway.

* * *

Kaz barreled through the tent flap and stopped in his tracks. Wiqua turned his head around and met his gaze with red eyes. “Good, I was worried the messenger wouldn’t find you in time,” he said.

Kaz hurried to the small cot Wiqua knelt beside. His voice was dry when he spoke. “I was on my way to meet with Elyse and Jeldor when I got word. I came over as quickly as I could.” He swallowed hard as he saw Hag’s current state. “What’s going on?” he asked, dropping to a knee beside Wiqua.

Hag opened her eyes. “I’m dying,” she whispered. “I thought that would be obvious.” She started coughing and Kaz heard the air rattle around her lungs.

“How?”

“I’m old as sin, that’s how,” she answered.

“You told me you were just battling a chest cold that wouldn’t go away.”

She smirked. “I lied.”

Kaz’s stomach tightened. “Why would you hide this?”

“I did what I thought was best.” She looked to Wiqua. “I’m sorry I made you keep it secret for so long.”

Wiqua patted her hand, but otherwise said nothing as he fought with his emotions.

Hag continued. “The last thing I wanted was to be another distraction. In case you forgot, we just fought a war.” She paused. “But it’s finally over and we won.”

“But . . . why would you keep this from
me
?” he asked, suddenly angry despite his sorrow. “I thought we were close.” Kaz hung his head, surprised at his own admission.

“I’m close to a lot of people. Each soldier is almost like a child to me. I’ve watched them live and I’ve watched far too many die.” She took Kaz by the hand. “I kept my health from you because I knew that you were the best chance for my kids to live. You didn’t need to worry about me.” She sighed. “Out of all the Hell Patrol members I’ve known, you’re the only one I truly wish was mine, Kaz.”

Kaz’s throat caught. He started to speak, but Hag reached up and squeezed his jaw.

“No. I don’t know how much time I have left and I need to say what I have to say. I know what really happened in your duel with Grin and I know that Kroke covered it up for you. He’s got a bigger heart than many give him credit for. But that’s not my point. I can tell that it’s been weighing on you. You need to let it go. Things happen. People make mistakes. Learn from it. Don’t let one screw up or even a hundred screw ups define who you are or prevent you from being the person you want to be.” She cleared her throat again. “And one more thing. Whether you find peace from your past or happiness in your future, know that you made this old woman’s life brighter and that she’s proud of you.” She finally lowered her arm and sank into her pillow. After taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and whispered. “There, I’m done. You can stay if you like, but I need to rest a few moments.”

Kaz did stay, but only after sending messengers out to find members of the old crew who would want to see Hag one last time.

The messengers struggled to find anyone.

They’re all off in the city enjoying their first night off in months.

Kaz and Wiqua knelt in silence. He thought about asking Wiqua why he didn’t heal her, but he already knew the answer. Either there wasn’t anything the Byzernian could do, or Hag had warned him not to.

Kaz could not recall weeping in his past life, and prior to seeing Hag in her current state, he could not imagine doing so. Yet, every few moments he felt a tear fall from his eyes.

When Hag’s breathing stopped he put his arm around Wiqua and the old man sobbed.

They stayed that way for some time. The weight of the situation put a new perspective on his life. Since waking up on Slum Isle, Kaz had lost acquaintances, friends, and someone he thought of as family.

The loss of so many lives solidified his decision. If he could feel such pain over those he knew for only a short time, how could he not do everything in his power to reconnect with his past? What if he left behind people who grieved him? He may have lost much more in his former life.

“Wiqua?” asked Kaz.

The old Byzernian looked up.

“I need to ask you to do me a great favor.”

Wiqua wiped away his eyes with the palms of his hands. “I’ll do what I can.”

“I need you to fix my mind.”

Wiqua’s eyes widened. “But . . . the risks . . .”

“I know the risks. You’ve explained them to me before. I could gain nothing. I could lose what little I have. I could become a simpleton. Or I could die. I don’t care. I need to know.”

“But why? I mean, why now?”

Kaz looked at Hag. “I need to know if anyone is waiting for me. Every moment I’m here means that I could be missing the last moments of someone’s life who was once dear to me. I don’t want to risk that.”

He looked down at Hag. “There is a chance I could lose focus.”

Kaz shook his head. “I’ve watched you work. When you heal, the rest of the world doesn’t matter.” He paused. “I’ll have to talk to Elyse again soon and I’d like to be able to tell her what my plans are for the future and see if she can help me accomplish them. I’ve got Drake working on the smallest of leads, but that’s all. I need more.”

Wiqua rubbed at his face, mulling over Kaz’s words. “I understand. The decision is yours.” He grabbed a sheet and gestured. “Let’s cover her out of respect and then we’ll begin. The last thing she would want is to be the cause of us waiting any longer.”

* * *

Elyse impatiently paced Conroy’s private study as she and Jeldor waited for Kaz. Jeldor contented himself with relaxing in a plush chair while thumbing through one of the large volumes that adorned the wall. The queen had to admit that Conroy’s tastes impressed her. She always heard he was an intelligent man, but his library dwarfed her own in Lyrosene. She would have to ask Drake to select the more important works from it to take back with her to the capital. She shook away those thoughts, remembering her aggravation.

“You’re certain your messenger spoke with him?” she asked.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” said Jeldor looking up from a page. “Kaz told the boy he would be on his way.”

“Then what is taking so long? Do you think something has happened to him?”

Jeldor chuckled. “Not likely.” He closed the book. “Relax, Your Majesty. Enjoy our surroundings. Neither of us has seen these comforts in some time. In my case, I’ve never had these sorts of comforts,” he added bitterly.

Elyse continued to pace. “I don’t wish to wait. We’ve waited long enough to speak with Conroy. I know the goal was to make him sweat and think about things since his defeat, but One Above knows it’s made me as anxious as it’s probably made him.”

Jeldor stood. “Well, then let’s begin now.”

Elyse stopped. “Without Kaz?”

“You rule this land, Your Majesty. Not him. I’ll have someone keep an eye out to let him know we began without him.”

Elyse shrugged. “He hates politics anyway.”

“That he does.”

I’m doing him a favor.

Elyse gestured to Jeldor. “Then let’s see what Conroy has to say for himself.”