Steel and Sorrow (58 page)

* * *

Once they cleared a space, Kaz sat on a chair and bowed his head. Wiqua stood over him and Kaz felt the old man’s hands wrap around his shaved skull. The faintest tingling sensation rippled across his scalp.

“Interesting,” said Wiqua. “I don’t think blunt trauma caused your memory loss at all.”

“What do you mean?” asked Kaz.

“An advanced form of sorcery was the cause.” Wiqua grunted. “I guess that’s why you have such an aversion to the stuff.”

“Can you undo it?”

“Yes, but the risk will be even greater.”

The statement hung in the air and Kaz knew Wiqua waited for his response. “Do it.”

“Relax as best you can. This will hurt quite a bit.”

Those words were the last Kaz heard. His entire body shook, pains shot from the base of his skull through the rest of his body. His skin crawled and his eyes burned. His nostrils flared and his mouth watered. Bile crept into the back of his throat.

I’m going to die.

His head pounded and his ears popped.

But his mind began to feel less muddled.

The memories returned in waves, some short, others long.

Some were from his childhood while others as recently as a few years ago. There seemed to be no order for how his memories returned, and he struggled to process the massive influx of information.

One memory lingered long enough for him to relive it. He was still a teenager and he and several others had been given a task by his father to determine who would become the warleader of his father’s army. He watched his younger self order the death of another Kifzo to claim the prize. Afterward he fought his brother, Tobin. Kaz broke Tobin’s ankle and left him for dead. In the aftermath, he allowed his men to do unspeakable things to an innocent family in order to reaffirm their support.

Try as he might, Kaz could not recall why he would do such things. He only knew the intense hatred he felt for Tobin grew with each year that came after that memory. Kaz’s mind would not allow him to search further back in order to learn where such hatred began.

How could I do that to my brother? And how could I allow a family to suffer for my own gain? What would Jonrell say? Or Elyse? What would anyone say?

Kaz realized that his biggest fear had been true. He had been an animal. Merciless killing, ruling through fear and intimidation, allowing atrocities to occur in order to further his own goals.

He wanted to kill himself right then, but the bombardment of awful memories kept coming. Women raped, children mutilated, villages burned. He never participated, but he allowed it to happen over and over again. Oddly enough, in each memory Tobin stared at Kaz with a disapproving scowl that only angered him more. Eventually Tobin would turn away.
He never participated either. What drove me to do such things?

Finally, when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, the atrocities stopped. A petite woman with skin as beautiful as polished onyx stood before him in a dimly lit room. She wore a sly grin and her inviting lips called his name. He became lost in her deep brown eyes and suddenly nothing else mattered. They embraced. He knew instantly the woman was his wife and that when he was with her, he could be the man he desperately wanted to be.

They lay in bed, entangled in each other’s limbs. He stroked her cheek and she smiled. “I love you, Kaz,” she whispered. He felt his cheeks tighten as he smiled back. “I love you, Lucia.” In that moment, he had never been happier.

Then her face disappeared and the image vanished.

Kaz blinked and stared dumbly at his surroundings. Wiqua stood before him, yelling, trying to get his attention.

“Kaz, are you alright? Speak to me.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m alright.”

“Then it worked. You remember?”

Kaz nodded and slowly rose to his feet. He took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“Is it as bad as you feared?” Wiqua asked hesitantly.

“Worse.”

“Remember what Hag told you. She spoke for both of us. You are a good man . . .”

Kaz raised his hand. “Perhaps one day, but not yet. I’ve done things I dare not speak of.” He rubbed his eyes and fought back the emotion in his voice. “Wiqua, I have a wife and she’s the most amazing woman. She kept me sane. She saw me for who I could be just as you and Hag did. Just as Jonrell did. Just as Elyse—” He cut himself off. “I have to tell her.”

Wiqua frowned. He patted Kaz on the shoulder. “If you feel as though you must tell her, then go now. This is news that can’t wait.”

Kaz glanced back to Hag. “But what about . . .”

“Go. I want some time alone with her before we perform the burial.”

“I’ll return when you’re ready.” Kaz turned to leave and stopped. “My oldest memories haven’t returned yet.”

“They will,” said Wiqua. “Even though the path is now open, it will still take some time for your mind to reorganize itself.”

Kaz walked over and hugged the old Byzernian. “Thank you.”

* * *

After descending several flights of stairs, Elyse’s Royal Guard escorted her and Jeldor down the long corridor that led to Conroy’s cell. Elyse spared a glance at the bushy-bearded duke and thought their situation odd. A small part of her still resented that time in Jeldor’s dungeon, but she understood Jeldor’s trepidation in forming their alliance. Since then, the duke had done all in his power to ensure she held the crown.

It isn’t for completely selfless reasons though. I must never forget that. I trust Jeldor, but then again, my father trusted Conroy.

They waited as the jailor opened the door to the cell. The tumbler clicked and the hinges squealed. The high-pitched grinding seemed louder in the damp underground, and her teeth hurt from the effect.

Conroy looked up as they entered the room and to his credit dropped to a knee. “Your Majesty.”

Elyse had him stay in the position while her guards brought in chairs for her and Jeldor. They sat down and Elyse finally spoke. “You may have a seat.”

Conroy complied and sat uncomfortably on a small stool. He looked calm.

They waited for nearly a minute in silence.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Elyse finally asked.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but could you be more specific?”

Elyse dug her nails into her palms. “Why did you take up arms against me? Why would you bring war to my kingdom? Is that specific enough for you?”

“Does it matter any longer? You’ve won. Your commander has defeated me when I thought myself undefeatable.” He paused and looked over Elyse’s shoulder. “I had hoped to speak with Kaz.”

“Kaz is not here. And you will answer my questions.”

Conroy massaged his temple. He let out a sigh. “No, Your Majesty. I don’t believe I will. There are more important matters to discuss right now.”

“How dare you speak that way to the queen? Even after losing, you manage to be just as obnoxious as ever! What can be more important than answering the queen’s questions?” asked Jeldor.

“The High Pass. We’ve been away for some time and I think it is in everyone’s best interests to get an update on its status.”

“The High Pass will care for itself as it has for hundreds of years,” said Elyse.

Conroy shook his head. “That is my sole request, Your Majesty. I must know the current status of the High Pass before I answer any of your questions.”

Elyse calmly rose from her seat. “Conroy, I will not have a prisoner dictate terms to me.” She looked to Jeldor. “Let’s go. I had assumed so much time alone would loosen the duke’s tongue enough to explain why he thought it wise to commit treason and tarnish his family’s name after centuries of loyally serving the kingdom, but it appears I was wrong and more drastic measures will need to be taken.”

“Treason?” Conroy said the word like a curse. “Is that what you think? I never stopped being loyal to my kingdom, Your Majesty, only to the one who wore the crown. I promise you that I only had the realm’s best interests at heart.”

“Yes, just like Tomalt, Bronn, and Markus did, I presume?”

“Do not lump me in with them.”

“Why not? You even allied yourself with two of them.”

“A means to an end. Nothing more.”

Elyse narrowed her gaze. Her voice took on an edge. “Your means caused the death of thousands of people who live in the kingdom you claim to care about. And you accomplished nothing.” She chuckled. “You claim that you would have been the better ruler.” She shook her head. “How can you possibly say you did what was best for Cadonia when you allowed her to bleed?”

“Say what you want. I no longer care. I was too cautious, too worried about leaving the High Pass undermanned for too long because of the responsibility of my family. If I would have left it sooner, things would have ended differently. But, it doesn’t matter. You have my army, my lands, and my home. Decide my fate and let me die.”

Elyse took two quick strides over to Conroy and slapped him across his face. The force knocked him from the uneven stool. He looked up at her, shocked.

“You will hang, Conroy. But until then, you will show me the respect of my station. Next time we meet, I promise you will remember that.”

She spun and left the cell, noticing the slight smirk on Jeldor’s face as he followed.

She stormed down the long corridor. She heard the jailor lock up behind them. At the far end of the corridor, she saw Kaz round a corner and walk toward them.

Her anger only increased because he had not bothered to join them. She realized that Conroy’s words cut her. Without Kaz she would never have won the war. Such a thing shouldn’t matter, but it did.

She quickened her pace, ready to lay into her commander for skipping their meeting and disobeying an order when he walked under a lit torch hanging from the wall. The look of sorrow and pain he wore caused her to pause before she hurried toward him. Her anger vanished.

“What happened?” she said.

Kaz’s head hung low. “Hag is dead.”

Elyse gasped and her eyes welled up.
One Above, she meant so much to him.
“How?”

“It was just her time,” he said. “Wiqua and I were there with her when she went.”

Elyse’s chest tightened. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but she had never done such a thing in front of others.
Still, who cares. I am queen after all.

She stepped closer and almost as if sensing her decision Kaz stepped back and put his hands up.

“There’s more. A lot more,” he said.

She raised a hand to her mouth. “Is everyone else alright?”

“Yes, as far as I know. What I need to say is unrelated. I have my memory back, or most of it at least.” He looked up and suddenly straightened, standing taller as he realized they weren’t alone. He cleared his throat. “Can we continue this in private?”

One Above, he’s going to leave me.

“Yes, of course,” she said, trying to remain calm. “We can return to Conroy’s study and—.”

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Urgent news!”

Elyse heard the shouting and subsequent footsteps before the young messenger cleared the turn ahead. The boy sprinted down the dark corridor. Several guardsmen followed behind. He came to a stop and nearly fell over trying to take a knee.

“Your Majesty, urgent news from the High Pass,” he managed between breaths.

“What is it?”

“A large horde in Thurum is massing near the fortress.”

“A horde?” asked Jeldor. “The High Pass has never been assaulted by anything that would be described as a horde. The petty lords trying to conquer Thurum have trouble getting more than a few thousand men together at best.”

Elyse turned back to the messenger. “Do you have a letter?”

“No, Your Majesty. There was no time to write one. I nearly killed my mount getting to you. Captain Samhan just told me to do the best I could. He had too much on his mind to write anything official. When I left, there were already an estimated fifty thousand men making camp, and he was scrambling to shore up our defenses. He needs reinforcements right away. We were undermanned due to . . .”

“Conroy committing treason?”

The boy bowed his head. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“How long is the ride to the fortress?”

“If we leave now and push through the night, we can make it by dawn.”

“You can’t be serious, Your Majesty. I find fifty thousand men hard to believe. This could be a trap,” said Jeldor.

Elyse looked at the pleading messenger’s eyes. “I need to see things for myself.” She turned to Kaz who still appeared distracted. “Can you get the army ready to move?”

Kaz wore a confused look. “No. It will take much longer to break camp. Many of the men are probably drunk or in the city enjoying what they thought was a night without worry.”

“Then grab all that you can now, even if it is only a few hundred.” She turned to Jeldor. “You stay here and organize the rest of the army. Bring them up as soon as possible. I’d rather be safe than sorry. If we are indeed facing fifty thousand, every man will matter. Oh, but we need to leave an occupying force as well and trusted men to watch over Conroy.”

“I’ll handle it, Your Majesty,” Jeldor said.

She nodded. “Then let’s not waste another moment.”

* * *

Elyse stood next to Kaz and Captain Samhan on the outermost of the fortress’ three high-curtain walls that guarded the High Pass. Elyse had ridden through the night in relative silence with over a thousand soldiers. They arrived just before the false dawn.

As the rising sun slowly illuminated the land before her, the weight of the messenger’s words sunk in.

Can this really be true? Cadonia is barely one nation again. And a battered nation at that.

“I obviously can’t be certain, but that appears like more than fifty thousand men,” she said aloud, unable to hide the awe in her voice.

“Your Majesty, they’ve been bringing in men and supplies all night. The last estimate I had from one of my scouts was over four times that number. And somehow, I don’t believe they’re done.” He shook his head. “We heard rumors of odd movements over the last few months, but we dismissed them. No one believed anyone could manage an assault of this scale. Only the One Above knows how anyone organized this.”