Steeling My Haart (3 page)

        
He
then reached behind her, leaning in with his naked torso towards her delicately
pink skin that was softly flushed under the haze of desire. They gasped in
unison as his bare chest grazed across her naked stomach, the contact almost
too much for him to bear. Unclasping her bra, he freed her generous breasts and
reveled their perfection. He couldn’t help gazing at her, sitting there
semi-naked as he let the tiny piece of lace fall away onto her lap.
 
He traced his thumbs once again across
her sensitive nipples and then down her ribs. He cherished her beauty as he
swapped then to ghosting his fingertips across her creamy skin using the
lightest of touches. Groaning involuntarily, he then repeated his gentle
movements over every inch of her exposed skin this time by gently stroking her
with the backs of his fingers. It was as if he was memorizing every tiny inch
of her flawless body and he was powerless to stop himself at this point. Goose
bumps appeared over her skin as he used his hands to outline every last bit of
her.
 
She shivered, this time from
desire, not fear. This was it, though, the one and only time he would get to do
this so he had one last chance to memorize the heaven he had found in this pure
and willing woman in front of him. Falling in love with her was easy, but after
tonight, after this, he would be ruined forever.

        
Laying
her back on to the sofa, making sure she was comfortable, he rested himself carefully
between her still jean-clad legs. He began gently rocking his immense erection
into the warm apex of her thighs. Leaning in, he kissed her so softly at first,
his tongue begging for access to her sweet mouth. Immediately, she opened her
lips slightly and as he delved his tongue deep into her mouth, the passion
between them simply exploded. Her taste was addictive and he wanted more. They
had kissed before but a hard fought restraint from both him and Emma had always
won through. But something had changed today and they both knew that their
feelings for each other would never be the same after tonight.
 

        
As
if sensing the urgency in his actions, he felt Emma’s hands instantly tangle
into his hair, fisting and pulling the damp strands, then caressing his scalp as
she became lost in his kiss. He was now totally lost in his desire for her and
he sensed that she was as far gone as him and was not going to stop, no matter
how hard he might have begged. He was acutely aware that somehow during this
intimate exchange his burning passion seemed faintly tainted with a hint of
sadness perhaps.

 
       
As
Emma nibbled at his lip, dragging him from his thoughts, she arched her back and
their naked bodies made contact. He was acutely aware as her naked body was
pressed so closely against his that she had left no space between them. He savored
the closeness of the skin on skin contact and wanted this sensation to last
forever. For the first time in his life, he felt complete and in a place he
wanted to stay for eternity. Gently placing one hand on the sofa cushion at the
side of Emma’s head, Charlie lifted himself up enough to be able to loosen his
own jeans and wriggle out of them. He rocked back on to his heels and helped
Emma remove her jeans and the white lace panties she was wearing, now damp with
her arousal.
 

        
“Commando,
huh?” Emma crooked him a small smile as she whispered, barely able to speak the
words.

        
“Yes,
sweetheart, I have never been as glad to be wearing no underwear as I am right
now,” Charlie huskily muttered into her ear as he laid himself back down and
rested his lower body between her now naked thighs.

        
As
he dropped down he could feel just how moist she had become, her arousal
coating the tops of his thighs. He could smell her musky scent that covered his
bare skin and it aroused him like nothing else. Reaching up and kissing her he
elicited an involuntary moan from Emma. He jumped at the sound and took in a
harsh breath in response and he knew there and then he had to prepare her well
for what was about to happen. Slowly licking along her jaw, he traced patterns
with his tongue all the way down her attractive full breasts and continued down
her toned midriff, leaving a cool yet unbelievably stimulating trail in his
wake. Occasionally he would drop a gentle kiss here and there, or playfully nip
at her skin careful not to leave a mark or hurt her. Each kiss and nip
eliciting further arousing sounds from Emma. He was so turned on he could
hardly breathe and as he glanced at her face, he saw that her eyes were tightly
closed and she was biting her lower lip between her teeth. She was as aroused
as he was. Throughout the sensual assault he was bringing on her naked form,
Emma could do nothing more than whimper and writhe beneath him on the old sofa.
It was such a beautiful vision and one he was savoring so that he could keep it
locked in his heart forever.

        
As
he reached her neatly trimmed folds, he positioned himself to kneel between her
legs. He started from her toes, kissing and licking up her legs in the same way,
as before, tasting the slightly salty tang of the light layer of perspiration
that now coated her skin. This elicited further moans from her, each one
causing him to hardening even more painfully. He could feel his own release edging
nearer and the tip of his erection began to glisten with his own growing
arousal.

“Charlie, please. I can’t stand this
anymore. Please just hurry up and make love to me,” Emma managed to groan out.

        
“All
in good time, sweetheart. I want to make this special and I want to do this the
right way. I’m want to make you feel so amazing that you won’t feel me breaking
through your virginity when we do finally make love. Emma, I love you so much.
I don’t want this to hurt so I’m going to do my goddamn hardest not to hurt
you, but I know I will,” Charlie whispered. Just how true those words were,
Emma didn’t realize.

        
He
grinned as he heard Emma gasp as he gently opened her moist lips with his cool
hands. When he began slowly circling her tender bud with his tongue and
alternating it with long strokes up and down, she lost it. She came almost
instantly, screaming his name over and over. He eased himself in, inch-by-inch
going as slowly and gently as he could. Just as he was about to break through
and claim her virginity he pulled right out and kissed her deeply. He got his
wish when he noticed that she then barely registered the moment that he slowly
rocked himself into her. It took all of his self-control not to just pound
himself into the tight wet heaven he encountered. He pulled himself out slowly,
reaching down with his hand and rubbing her clit. When he couldn’t wait any
longer thrust himself back deep inside, this time entering with his full length.
He winced as he saw her flinch and as he was about to pull back out, Emma
gripped his buttocks hard with her hands and held him there.

        
“No,
just stay still and give me a minute to get used to this,” she pleaded
hoarsely. He held himself still at her request but found himself trying to
adjust to the feeling of being so deep inside her. His cock involuntarily
jumped several times inside her as she moaned deeply. She surprised him then by
wrapping her legs around his back, urging him on.
 

        
“Em,
I’m so sorry, but this won’t be slow. I am so close.” He gritted out and with a
few long thrusts into her wet and sensitive folds his orgasm hit him hard and
without warning he came violently inside her. Emma moaned loudly and when he
saw the look of pure unadulterated pleasure and love radiating from her face,
he reached up and gently stroked her cheek and whispered, “I love you, Emma.”

        
He
then reached down between them, touching her again as she held him tight, skin
on skin, and gently he moved his finger slightly against her clit, setting off
a second orgasm that rippled around his slowly shrinking erection.

        
As
he lowered himself slowly on top of her he shivered as their heaving breaths
mingling. As he stroked her face, he looked at her and whispered again, “I love
you, Em. More than life itself.”

        
He
pecked her on the lips and then dropped his head laying it down between her
breasts and tuning in to the rapid beating of her heart. Her breathing was labored,
like she had just run a marathon. He could feel the now cooling sweat that had
beaded on her skin from the intense moment they had just shared. He was in Heaven.
No, this was a place far beyond Heaven and for tonight he was going to bask in
the warmth and the serenity she brought to him. Tomorrow was tomorrow and aside
from the devastation that the storms would have surely brought to Glen Springs,
it would pale into insignificance next to the destruction he was going to
cause.
 

        
He
felt Emma shifting beneath him and there was a shift in the mood as she wrapped
her arms tightly around him. He felt her drop a tender kiss on the top of his
head and she cleared her throat and said quietly, “I love you, too, Charlie.”
      

        
He
reached over and grabbed the second quilt from the back of the sofa; and pulling
her so close, they fell into a deep and surprisingly restful sleep.

        
Morning
soon came and he woke still wrapped around a warm, naked body. He could smell
the musky scent of their lovemaking lingering in the air. Emma was sleeping so
peacefully he didn’t want to wake her. Slowly, he lifted himself from her
sleepy embrace and tucked her back in, making sure she was still warm and cozy.
He planted a tender kiss on her temple and hooked a stray tendril of her deep
brown hair around the back of her ear. She was so beautiful when she was asleep,
and she looked so innocent and peaceful. He felt his heart break in two as he
knew this was the last time he would see her.

        
He
saw that dawn was just breaking through the cracks in the metal door at the top
of the stairwell of the shelter. The rising sun was casting just enough light
for him to find his clothing from the night before. He noticed that the wind
had died down and the radio was no longer transmitting emergency directions. He
followed the hazy glow that spread across the small cabin and one of the
brighter rays highlighted the beautiful, sleeping girl in front of him.

        
Pulling
on his jeans and shirt, he shrugged into his jacket and decided to venture out
to assess what damage the storm had caused. His emotions were all over the
place, though. Happy to have finally have made love to Emma and show her just
what she meant to him, but feeling immensely remorseful for treating her no
better than some quick lay or one night stand. Last night was a one time only
event for them and there would never be a repeat.
 

        
As
he stooped down to pull on his boots, he froze as he saw the letter sticking
out of the deep pocket of her overcoat. The bold crest of Harvard Law School on
the envelope gave away its ominous contents. It was evident that that Emma had
started to open the letter and he could see it would be possible to take out
the letter and read it. Fleetingly he toyed with the idea of looking so he
would know for sure before he walked away, but he stopped himself. This was not
the time to be snooping, but the thickness of the envelope indicated this
wasn’t a rejection letter. His broken heart filled with pride as he realized
she had done it and he wasn’t going to hold her back.

        
He
reached into his jacket pocket and palmed the small box he had been carrying
close to his heart now for a few months. It contained a modest solitaire diamond
he had bought using the savings he had made despite his meager wage.
 
It was going to be the icing on the cake
for him and Em. Looking at it now, though, it seemed so small and insignificant.
He needed to give her the world, not some cheap, tiny second-hand diamond ring.

        
He
had planned had to propose to her when they found their first home.
 
He had wanted to make love for the first
time on their first night alone in their new bedroom, a room he wanted to adorn
with candles and roses to give her the romance she so deserved. But she was
moving on to much bigger things, he knew asking her to marry him now was the
wrong thing to do.

        
He
hadn’t had a lot of experience in romancing a girl and although Em wasn’t his
first girlfriend, she was definitely the first, and only, girl he had wanted to
make love to.
 
He had wanted them to
be in a meaningful stage in their relationship before they finally went all the
way. He was desperate to prove to her that she meant far more to him that just
sex. She had stolen his heart and soul and he felt like he had a purpose in
life when he was with her. But by being weak and selfish in the spur of the
moment the night before, he had not only taken away that special moment for
them both, but he felt he had disrespected his precious Emma in the
process.
 
And thank goodness he
already knew she had been prescribed the pills that protected her from
pregnancy.
 
He was clean and knew
she was, but he never even broached the fact he didn’t have a condom. He hated
himself for not thinking this out and ruining his dreams for them. He would
never regret ever having those precious moments with her, especially if that
was all he would have to remember her by. He knew that made him no better than
his own goddam loser of a father, and that made the fact he was about to walk
away that bit less of a bitter pill to swallow. It reaffirmed his feeling that
she would be better off without him.

        
He
took in the sight of her curled up on the sofa and tried to take one last
mental picture of her. Tears pooled in his eyes as she breathed deeply, looking
so serene as she slept. Leaning in, he took in one last deep breath of her
scent, and kissing her gently so as not to wake her, he whispered, “Please
forgive me, Em, for what I am about to do. Be happy, sweetheart. That is all I
want for you. This is not how I wanted things to happen, but please know that I
will love you forever.”

        
Choking
back a sob, he collected a few essentials he had found in one of the old metal
boxes and he headed out of the shelter and up to the reality awaiting him. As
he reached the top of the steps and opened the metal door he scanned around he
saw the utter devastation that had occurred as they took refuge in each other
the previous night. Thank God they had made it to the shelter when they did.
Last night’s tornado, or tornados as he was to later find out, had flattened
the entire town and some of the surrounding towns, too. The worst storms in a
century, they were to declare.

        
Emma’s
house was obliterated. His truck was a mess and buried beneath rubble and
timber. The Old Fitzgerald place behind him was no more, merely a cement base
that gave away where it had once stood. Ironically, he let out a short laugh as
he thought to himself that Emma would be pleased to finally see the old eyesore
gone. Trees were uprooted and likely to have been dumped by the terrifying
storm a distance form their original positions. Shattered pieces of furniture
and household items lay strewn all around. Oddly, he noticed familiar pieces
from Emma’s home that were littered across the surrounding area and there were
some photos and personal items just blowing gently in the wind. Live electric
wires hissed and zapped around a short way up the road from where he stood. This
far out of town there was no gas main, so apart from the risk from the
crackling live wires waving around in the breeze, he was reasonably safe if he
kept his distance

        
His
immediate reaction was to cross the street and head for his truck to see if his
cell phone was in there. He had forgotten to grab it out of the glove
compartment in all of the panic the night before, but it was fruitless. The
truck was all but buried deep under a pile of mangled metal, rubber and other
masses of debris. He had never seen such carnage. In the distance sirens blared,
presumably from the multitude of emergency services out trying to find signs of
life in the middle of all this appalling mess. His heart sank as he could see
plumes of smoke rising from the general direction of the town. It wasn’t a good
sight.

        
He
attempted to collect a few things he recognized from the demolished house but
as soon as he was collecting them, they were blowing away in the gentle morning
breeze. Most pieces were wet from the rain last night and also the cool morning
dew. It was pointless; Emma and her family had lost everything. He was about
to, too.

        
Finding
a perch under a nearby tree that had been spared, he reached into his pocket
and pulled out the items he had taken from the shelter. He had found a couple pieces
of paper and pencil in one of the boxes and with a heavy heart, he picked them
up to begin writing the hardest letter he was ever going to write and one that
he was going to regret for the rest of his life. He kept a close eye on the
shelter in case Emma had woken and was wondered what was happening or where he
was. He couldn’t bring himself to go back in there, but if she woke and came
searching for him right then, he didn’t know how it was going to play out.

        
After
over an hour of pouring over the letter, he finally felt he had adequately put
into words what he wanted to say. Just as he folded up the paper and sealed it
into an envelope, a state police department vehicle drove up the road and
stopped short of him. The middle-aged officer cut the motor and stepped out of
the vehicle. Charlie had been crying as he wrote the words that he knew would
break Emma’s heart. He tried to compose himself as the officer approached and
put a strong reassuring hand on his shoulder and asked, “Son, are you okay? We have
been sent out to see what we can do for anyone in need. Do you know if anyone
else has survived the storm in these local houses or needs immediate
assistance, son?”

        
Charlie
looked up, tears streaking down his face and he nodded. “Yes, Officer, I’m okay.
I’m not hurt. I found the sole occupant of that house, and we headed for the
shelter that you can find in the yard over there. The large house that was
behind us here was empty. I have to leave now but could you please check on the
beautiful young lady who is currently asleep in the shelter? It’s just over in
the grounds there. It is important to me that you make sure she is safe?” he
said, the tone in his voice insistent.
  
“Her
house was destroyed and she will need to contact her parents as soon as
possible.” He pointed out the various locations to the officer.

        
“Are
you sure you don’t need help, son? You look like you could do with a hand as
well. The storms last night have practically wiped out the entire town. It’s a
mess out there. The biggest tornado took out an entire three-block slice out
from Main Street through West Avenue. All the houses and businesses have gone.
And a second big tornado took out the trailer park to the north of town.
Practically every trailer is gone too. Thankfully, most of the occupants had
shelters or ones they could use, but there are still a few who have been
unaccounted for at this stage and they sure could do with some help searching.
I can offer you a ride back into town to the emergency center and there are
places set up at the gymnasium to freshen up,” the officer droned on.

        
He
was only half-listening because it dawned on him, from what the officer just
described that included his home and Uncle Hank’s garage. They were gone, too.
He had never been as glad for his mom to be out of town.

        
“Son?
Are you sure you are okay? Are you sure you have somewhere to go?” the officer
persisted.

        
Sighing
and wiping a shaky hand through his messy hair then down his lightly-stubbled
face, he replied, “Yes, sorry, Officer, I’m sure. I’m physically sound, sir. I
don’t know where I’m heading right now except out of this town and away from
all of this,” he replied, gesturing with his hands all around. “Thank you for
your assistance, sir, but I can’t stay. But could I just ask one favor of you
before you leave? I have something for the lady in the shelter? She is called
Emma and she is likely to be scared and alone. Could you please make sure she
gets to safety as soon as you can? And can you give her this letter from me,
please? And if you could tell her that Charlie is safe? I’d be much obliged,
Officer.”

        
“Sure,
son, but don’t you want to take care of her and make sure she is okay?”

        
“No.
It’s best I don’t. I need to be on my way. Thank you, Officer”
 

        
And
with that, he handed over the letter to a puzzled officer and walked away sobs
heaving violently from his chest as he headed in the opposite direction from
town and towards the freeway a couple miles from Emma’s place into his own
uncertain future.
 
He regretted it
the moment he had done it, leaving the unnamed police officer to break Emma’s
heart.
 
This moment was to haunt him
for the rest of his life.