STEPBROTHERS (3 Book Stepbrother Romance Collection) (25 page)

I
was still shaking
in anger by the time I reached my makeshift desk. I sat down, my shoulders hunched over, my head in my hands, and I felt the bite of tears. I lifted a hand and wiped my eyes, shaking my head at myself for letting him get under my skin like that. How could I ever have thought he’d changed? Harvey was who he had always been: a selfish prick.
How could I even think about being attracted to a guy like that?
But he was right—I was still letting Eric hold power over me, simply by hiding what he’d done…

I felt the heavy weight of frustration, anger and sadness merging together in one big emotional lump in my belly. I closed my eyes as I felt a familiar pounding in my head, a sign that a migraine was on its way.
Great, just what I need.

Replaying the words I said to him, I cringed. Everything had been said in anger, clouded with jealousy. He would never look at me the way he looked at other women, and I’d foolishly told him to leave me alone. Goddamnit, my head was a mess, I thought. He’d done so much for me and yet I couldn’t see past his flaws. What kind of person am I to do that? How could I ever expect anyone else to look past my mountain of flaws if I couldn’t do the same?

I should be on my feet right now, strolling towards Harvey and begging him to forgive me and accept my apology. He hadn’t really done anything wrong. It was me, my cocktail of emotions burning me up inside, making me say things I shouldn’t. I pulled my head up and listened to the faint approach of footsteps.

“Sara?” a male voice asked.

“I’m sorry,” we both said in unison.

We smiled at each other, and Harvey pulled a chair over to my side.

“Harvey, I…” I trailed, unsure of what to say. I didn’t know how to express everything I was thinking and still manage to hold back the one thing in the entire world I wanted to say to him…

I tried again. I opened my mouth and waited for the words to come out. Harvey sat before me and said nothing, studying me with quiet contemplation, as if he was determined not to speak until I did, allowing me the time to say what I wanted.

Looking up at him, I knew that I didn’t deserve him. Not one bit. I’d been totally unfair to him, no, worse than that. He’d been by my side this whole time, starting from the beginning, when I found out about Eric’s death. He was the one who took me home, fed me, checked up on me, making sure I was still alive and refusing to give up on me in my sorry state. God, he even had the sense and heart to bring some light into my life in the form of an adoring little kitten. I hadn’t realised how ready I was to give up until Harvey handed me something to live for.

Harvey was the one who gave me a silver lining. He had been the one who gave me another opportunity, making me feel like I was worth something, making me see that I could stand up for myself. I would be forever indebted to him. And I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry for finding a great man who was brave and strong enough to put his trust, hope and confidence in me.

I looked him in the eyes, ready to let it all go. I took a long breath.

I would trust him.

“He raped me… my own husband raped me,” I said, gasping out the last few words as Harvey instantly pulled me to him. Holding me as I let it all out, let the poison run freely from my pores.

His arms were tight around me, solid and safe. I breathed in his strong musky cologne that blended with his own natural, sweet scent.

“Shh,” Harvey soothed as my chest racked with sobs. He lowered his head and pressed a chaste kiss on top of mine. “You’re OK, let it out… I’ve got you. I’m not going to let you go. And no one will ever hurt you ever again, I promise.”

A
fter a while
, feeling cleansed, my eyes puffier but brighter, we pulled apart and sat in the quietness of the office. I was grateful that Sadie had somehow known to stay away. This morning was embarrassing enough, never mind having her see me cry at work, as well.

“Thank you for telling me,” Harvey said, as he held my hands. “Thank you for trusting me.”

I nodded. “I should’ve told you sooner, or least told somebody. But I’m glad it was you.” I went over every detail of my living nightmare with Eric, explaining each part to Harvey as he listening quietly, holding me gently when I needed it and letting me go when I felt the urge to scream and rage and storm about the room.

His hand skirted along my cheek, awakening certain feelings that I tried to bury, but it was useless ignoring them. They were there as clear as day, and there was no getting rid of them. I tilted my head and nuzzled it into his palm, allowing myself to enjoy this little moment for a while longer. The calm after the storm.

“Do you still want to work for me?” Harvey asked softly, changing the subject, knowing I needed a break from the dark topic; he dropped his hand into his lap.

It wasn’t what I’d expected him to say, but thinking on it then, I knew I didn’t want to be very far away from him.

“What about Sadie? Won’t she mind?” I asked.

“I had a talk with her earlier, and she’s actually really excited to have you as
her
assistant. So, if you were worried about me being your boss, well, I won’t be. At least not directly. Plus, I wouldn’t mind having two beautiful women working beneath me.” I suppressed a giggle as he winked at me. “Sadie will be in charge of your workday, but she’ll still have you doing stuff, like errands, for me. It would make my life so much easier having the both of you. She’ll take care of the business side predominantly, and I’m sure she’ll get you to do things like booking my personal meetings, my mani-pedis, hair appointments…”

I didn’t know whether he was teasing me with the seriousness of his voice. I pressed my lips into a thin line, but the giggle slipped out, unintentionally, as my small frame rocked with fitful laughter.

“What?” He frowned, the puzzlement on his face making me roar even more.

“Did you just say what I think you just said?” I asked. I took his hand and inspected his nails more closely.

He yanked his hand back and with a mock gasp replied, “Are you being sexist, Sara Chambers? Am I not allowed to keep my nails trim and tidy?”

I shook my head and smiled, letting my hair spill freely across my face. I was about to get control over the tendrils when he reached up and pushed then back himself, tucking the strands neatly behind my ears. My cheeks burned hot, but I no longer cared.

“Haven’t you two gone home yet?” Sadie asked as she pushed through the glass doors.

“Why what time is it?” Harvey answered.

“Late,” she replied abruptly.

“You still mad at me?” he joked. “If Sara can forgive me, so you can you.”

She turned to me and rolled her eyes. “You let him off the hook? We could’ve dragged this out for weeks, guilted him into anything… I’ve got a lot to teach you.”

I laughed, beginning to believe that maybe I would enjoy working there after all.

“All right then. You ready to head out?”

“To where?” I asked, confused.

“I’m taking you to dinner.”

“Dressed like this? I don’t think—”

“Of course you can!” Sadie interrupted. “You look stunning just as you are.”

Harvey took my hand and let me away. “Come on, listen to the woman. She knows what she’s on about.”

“What about Sadie?” I asked, feeling a little peculiar that he wasn’t asking his actual girlfriend to join us.

“You think I want to look at his ugly mug any longer? I have enough of that here all day. Anyway, I have my girl to get home to.”

“Ouch, ugly?” Harvey said, bringing a hand up to his chest as if he’d been wounded. “You don’t half know how to kick a man where it hurts. You ice queen!”

“Jerk!” Sadie stuck her tongue out at him between her ruby red lips.

My head was too wrapped up in the fact that he’d called me
sweetheart,
fighting the urge to swoon, that I almost didn’t hear Sadie’s response and Harvey’s teasing. But I did wonder, who was the girl she was referring to? A kid at home, or maybe a pet…?

“Come on,” Harvey urged, and I finally let him haul me out of the office. I followed him downtown, walking a fraction of a step behind him, taking the opportunity to study him from the side. It made my heart skip a beat.

I must’ve shivered, too, ‘cause all of a sudden he slung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in, his wonderful smell hitting my nostrils as he smushed me up against his frame. We walked a bit farther, and I started to notice the looks we were getting from passing women, their eyes bulging as they stared at him, then turning to confusion and even envy as they saw me. Harvey seemed to be oblivious to it, but I wasn’t. Their eyes were hungry and desperate as they passed, shooting daggers my way. But it only made me want to hold onto him longer and enjoy how his hold tightened a fraction if I pulled away slightly.

“Are you liking the job so far?” he asked after a silent moment.

“Yes, totally. A big difference from scooping poop at the animal shelter… and there’s a pretty big tick in the plus column: I’m getting paid!”

He laughed. “I’m glad. And don’t mind Sadie, you’ll get used to her. She has her rough edges, but you’ll see, she’s great.”

My smile faded a little, but I didn’t let him see, and I tried to change the subject.

“Of course, I’ll have to get accustomed to all the sitting and the typing, but I’ll adjust.”

Harvey pulled us to a stop, and his eyes found mine. A line of concentration and concern flickered in his eyes. “Is it too much?”

I shook my head and gave him a reassuring smile. “Not at all, I’ll get used to it. I’m just tired today. You should seriously invest in some new office chairs, though.”

“I could find you another position if you want,” he offered.

“No, Harvey. I’m good, really. I don’t need you babying me just because I haven’t taken a proper job in three years.”

“OK, if you’re sure,” he mumbled distractedly, but we continued to walk again. I didn’t want him worrying about me all the time; I was a full-grown woman, and though it was nice for him to think of me, I couldn’t rely on him forever.

We paused in front of an Italian restaurant. I glanced up at him with a questioning gaze—it was a bit fancy.

“I eat here all the time. I think you’ll love it,” He said as he reached out and pulled the door to La Caverna open for me, waiting patiently as I stepped inside and felt the welcoming, warm air that contained myriad heartening herbs and spices.

“Welcome, Mr Guyer. I see you brought a guest with you. A rare occurrence. I guess you won’t want your usual table for one then?” the aged maître d' said as he grinned at me.

“Very perceptive, Carlo,” Harvey teased. “Table for two, please.”

Carlo nodded, collected a couple of menus and led us to a table out of the main thoroughfare. The old man pulled out my chair and I thanked him, sitting down and bringing my forearms to rest on the white tablecloth. As soon as Harvey took his place, Carlo handed us the menus.

“I’ll give you two some time to order. I presume you would like the same wine as usual, sir?”

“You know me too well, Carlo. Thank you.”

I peered around the room, feeling on edge. The place was so fancy, it oozed wealth… and romance, and I was totally out of my element. The people at the other tables were dressed to the nines, sharing candlelight dinners and holding hands across the small, round tables.

“Is something wrong, Sara?” Harvey asked when I hadn’t lifted the leather-bound menu.

“We should’ve persuaded Sadie to come…”

“Why?” he said, frowning.

“It’s so intimate,” I whispered, “surely you’d rather be here with her than me.”

“Don’t be silly. We’re here to celebrate your first day. It was a bit of a rollercoaster, but you got through it,” he said, beaming.

“You’re right, today was a big day…” Both of us knew exactly what we were referring to. Carlos had brought a bottle of rich-looking red wine and, when Harvey had tasted and approved it, poured us each a glass. I lifted mine. “Here’s to the future. Here’s to moving on.”

“Atta girl,” Harvey replied as we clinked glasses.

After looking through the list, I settled for a pan-fried scallop salad for starters and a pasta dish for my main. Harvey insisted on sticking with his usual, a lamb dish with crispy prosciutto, and a tomato and mozzarella bruschetta to start.

I took another sip of wine and smiled as we waited, the candlelight from the table flickering, making his eyes dance as he watched me. An abrupt cramping in my stomach startled me. I frowned lightly and bit down my lower lip, willing the unexpected nausea to go away. Harvey leaned closer as I tried to hold back another wave rolling around in my stomach. The queasiness was making me break out in a sweat, and my clammy fingers reached for the glass of water by my wine.

I took a sip, urging my stomach to be calm.

“Sara?” he asked, worried.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I blurted, scrambling to my feet and running for the bathroom.

I
had just managed
to find the bathroom when my stomach rolled again, and I stumbled into an open cubicle. At the sight of the toilet lid propped up, I vomited. Bile rose at the back of my throat, and more perspiration broke out on my face as my fingers tightened around my hair, keeping the thick strands back.

My chest heaved again, and my stomach muscles contracted, hurling out my breakfast and meagre lunch.
Must’ve been the tuna.

I didn’t know how long I stayed there. Wave after wave of nausea kept me pinned on the floor, my forearms embracing the toilet rim and my mouth open, gasping for oxygen. Slowly the feeling faded, and with my stomach empty and my arms shaky, I got to my feet.

My legs trembled. I braced myself until I reached the row of basins and cleaned myself up.

I reached out and pulled a few tissues down from the dispenser and wiped my mouth, hating the bitter taste of my vomit. I put a hand in my bag and searched for gum, a breath mint… anything to take the taste away. Finding nothing, I closed my eyes and wondered what I’d eaten to cause this sudden reaction. I created a mental list of everything I’d consumed that day. Two pieces of toast, one banana and that stingy tuna sandwich from the deli around the corner from the office.

It had to be the fish. It couldn’t be anything else.

My eyes popped open, and I counted back the days in my head, but I got flustered. I pulled out my phone instead and used the calendar app to help me calculate.

No, no, no!
It couldn’t be… I tried to remember the last time I’d received a visit from Aunt Flo.

“Fuck,” I whispered. My memory was blank. How could I have missed several periods and not even noticed? No, there must have been a misunderstanding, I thought, a mistake. Something else to explain the sudden nausea.

It was the fucking tuna! Please?

I lifted a hand and with numb fingers I pulled the lid down and sat atop the toilet seat as tears ran down my face. The last time I’d had sex was…

A familiar thumping inside my head erupted once again. The hammering inside my skull made it hard to concentrate, but it also gave me a welcome distraction. I couldn’t stay in here forever, I thought. I made myself presentable and pushed through the door back into the restaurant. With jelly legs I made my way towards Harvey and gave him a shaky yet reassuring smile. Or so I hoped. I flopped down on my seat opposite him, trying not to stare too long at the fried scallop salad that waited for me at my place. I pushed the plate away, fearing that it might induce another trip to the bathroom.

“Sara?”

I brought my head up and met his blue eyes. For a brief moment I let myself get lost in them. The bright azure of his orbs called out to me, threatened to drown me in a comforting stare.

“You look a little pale,” he observed. There was a hint of concern in his tone, and I nibbled at my lip nervously. He’d been so good to me, and I wanted to tell him my suspicions… He was the only person I could tell, but I wanted to hold onto my little delusion a little longer, that maybe we could be something more than friends.

I faked a smile and took a sip of my cool water, forgoing the glass of wine. “Just something I ate earlier. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

He examined my face longer than necessary, and I thought he was going to call me out on my lie. Before he could open his sexy-ass mouth again, I interrupted him. “Stop looking so serious. You said we’re here to celebrate, right?” I cracked a smile and he nodded, going back to being the laid-back Harvey I knew and lov—.

“So how long has Sadie worked for you?” I asked, wanting to distract myself as much as possible. “I mean, how did you two meet?”

I nibbled on a breadstick as Harvey tucked into his starter, and after taking a mouthful of tomato and mozzarella, he swallowed. “We met years ago, when I was just starting my first company. We went to the same college, but we’d never hung around in the same circles. Then years later, we met by chance and clicked instantly. Like we were meant to meet each other, you know?” I gave a nod. “And from then we started hanging out, and eventually she became my secretary. She’s the best secretary I’ve ever had. You wouldn’t believe the stuff she does; she’s a genius in her own way. Efficient, too, and the mouth on her—she’ll have you in fits of laughter. Sadie’s amazing. I don’t think I could ever do without her.”

I swallowed the unexpected lump in my throat. During the years I’d known Harvey, I’d never met Sadie (until the night Eric died, that is) nor had Harvey really brought her up, but he seemed truly smitten with her.

“Aren’t you going to finish that?” Harvey asked eyeing my plate, then looking up suspiciously.

I shrugged. “Sorry, I changed my mind on the fish.”

“You’re not eating right, Sara. You’re going to have to look after yourself better. If Eric was here…”

I knew that the moment he said those words, he regretted them immediately.

“Shit, I don’t half put my foot in it.”

I smiled reassuringly and said, “Don’t worry about it, no harm done.”

“Shit,” he repeated. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he said and claimed my hand. “I didn’t mean to bring him up. I can be such an idiot sometimes.”

I put up a hand and stopped him. “You didn’t say anything wrong. You’re right. Eric’s gone. He did terribly things to me, but that shouldn’t stop me from moving forward, looking after myself and… and Humbug.” I’d nearly let it slip, I thought.

He nodded and let the topic go. We passed the evening avoiding potentially dangerous topics and enjoyed each other’s company instead, and I even managed to eat some of my main course, which pleased Harvey enormously.

He paid the bill, and we decided to walk and enjoy the twinkling city lights as evening set in. I crossed my arms over my chest, trapping as much body heat as I could when he pulled me in close. I was beginning to really enjoy our little walk together. I glanced up at him, but he wasn’t looking down at me, his stare focused ahead of us and his touch light against my body.

The silence allowed the thought of what had happened earlier creep back in, and I contemplated a potential pregnancy. If I was pregnant, could I raise a child that I knew had been conceived in an act of hate? Deep inside I knew there were choices out there. Several options if I needed them. I needed time, but depending on how far along I was, I might not have much of it.

I let my mind wander… there would be nothing wrong with keeping the baby, becoming a single mom. The thought of having a family of my very own gave me a tiny thrill, but just as quickly as it came, it withered away with the thought of our future. Could I do it alone? Was I strong enough?

As much as I loved having Harvey around, he could not be with me forever, looking after me and the baby. It wasn’t practical; he had his own life. Eventually he’d want his own family, and he’d build a life with another woman—Sadie perhaps. I was just his stepsister, his friend. I pushed the unwanted thoughts aside as we finally reached the office car park.

“What are you thinking?” Harvey asked, peering down at me with his brows furrowed.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You’re too quiet. You’re not normally this quiet. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

I smiled in spite of his worry. I reached down and took his hand in mine and squeezed his fingers, “I know I can.” But I kept my mouth shut.

T
uesday seemed
a little better at first, but then I got to the office, and as I stepped out of the jerky elevator a rush of nausea washed over me.

Not again.

I quickened my steps and dashed for the ladies bathroom. My hand clamped down on my mouth as I ran down the hall, passing a startled Sadie along the way.

“The office is the other way… Sara?” Sadie called, but I couldn’t stop.

With a distracted wave of my hand, I pushed open the bathroom door, then dashed into a cubicle and puked my guts out.

Well there goes the dry toast I had for breakfast, I thought, as bits of crumbs floated in the bowl.

I waited again for the unpleasantness to subside, sitting with my knees upon the cold, tiled floor. I grabbed another roll of toilet tissue, wiped my mouth and picked myself up from the floor, completely disgusted with my body and what it was doing to me.

I stifled a gasp as I exited the cubicle—Sadie’s face met my gaze, her hands in her usual position, resting upon her slim hips. Her eyes narrowed, ran over me, studied me.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked as she stepped forward and without asking permission pressed an icy hand on my heated forehead.

“A little bit,” I admitted.

“Here.” She pushed a bottle of water towards me, and I accepted it with a grateful smile. “I have some breath mints at my desk you can have later.” I twisted the cap off and sipped, swilling my mouth out, then spitting in the sink, desperate to get rid of the bitter taste. I would not get used to that, I thought.

“Sit down for a minute,” she instructed and helped me back into a cubicle. After she flushed the toilet she pulled the lid down and sat me upon it, her hold light and soft against my flushed skin. “How are you feeling now?”

A flash of concern flickered in her beautiful eyes, and I’d managed just in time to bite down my question as to why she was being so nice. “I’m feeling much better, thanks.”

“So, what’s the deal?” Sadie asked, eyeballing me. “You sick or something?”

I shook my head and debated whether I should tell her or not. Letting anyone know, even a partial stranger, would be a blessed relief, but I had to remind myself I’d be working with her, technically
for
her, for the days and months to come.

“Did you get food poisoning? Harvey didn’t take you somewhere seedy last night, did he? I’ll wring his neck for making my new assistant ill,” she said with a smile.

I bit my lip and shook my head again. With a sigh, I blurted, “I think I’m pregnant.”

I didn’t know if it was possible for someone’s eyes to bulge out of their sockets. If it were any other day, in another time and life, I would have laughed at Sadie’s expression when she heard my confession.

“Come again?” she said.

“I think I’m pregnant,” I repeated and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Harvey’s?”

“What?” I said and almost stood up, startled. “No, of course not.” My cheeks were burning up. How could she think that?

She frowned, her beautiful, smooth face creasing. ”Well, OK then. How sure are you?”

“Pretty sure. I haven’t done a test yet. God, I don’t know what I’m going to do if I am.”

I dabbed at the corner of my eyes with a wad of new tissue and then blew my nose before smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be unloading my problems on you. Harvey doesn’t know yet. You’re the only person I’ve told.”

“Hey,” she soothed and ran a palm on my shoulder. “It’s OK. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“But I have no one. All my family and friends have drifted away from me after the accident and my mom’s death. Well, all except Harvey.” I swiped at my tears and continued, “And my twin sister Anita has too much on her own plate, she’s got kids of her own…”

“Well, you can rely on me, and you should tell Harvey.”

“How can I do that when I’ve burdened him with so many of my problems already? And not to mention all the times I’ve stolen him away from you—him coming around all the time, taking me out to dinner when he should be taking you.”

Sadie laughed and said, “What? Are you mad? Harvey and I? Not a bloody chance! Not really my type if you know what I mean.”

“Oh? OH! Fuck… I’m sorry. I didn’t know, I thought you two were… well, I don’t know what to think now.”

“We get on like a house on fire, there’s no denying that, but there’s no way I’d be letting him anyway near my lady-parts! Not for all the money in the world,” she said with a scoff. “But seriously, you should tell him. He cares for you so much—I don’t think you realise how much, do you? But anyway, stop worrying about things until you know for sure, and take a damn pregnancy test to find out. I’ll even hold your hand.”

I chuckled at her bossiness and agreed to her demands.