Stilettos & Stubble (14 page)

Just saying his
name made me smile. 
Luke
.  Percy and Luke.  Hmm, maybe that was taking
things a bit too far but I was allowed to dream.

I’d lost Tom, I
could see. He showed a cursory interest in my news and then continued with his
own dilemma.  ‘She wants to go out for cocktails and dinner tomorrow but I’m
wondering if I should put the brakes on it now.  It’ll never work.’

I yawned and
stretched.  Tom could quite easily spend the rest of the night arguing with
himself and any input from me was unlikely to change his mind.  It was almost
three-thirty and I was struggling to keep my eyes open.  I didn’t relish the
idea of another night scrunched up on the sofa but, with dad still staying, I
had no choice.

Dad!  I checked
my watch again.  It really was quite late and I suddenly panicked that he
wasn’t home yet.  He usually liked his early nights and it was unheard of for him
to be such a party animal.

After I’d shown a
love-struck, world-weary Tom to the door, I checked my mobile in my bag and was
relieved and confused in equal measures to see I’d received a text from my
father about an hour ago.

‘Staying
the night with a friend.  Don’t forget to lock up xxx’

Chapter
Fourteen

I was in a foul
mood at work the next night.  I’d managed to avoid Annie, Tittie et al and kept
myself to myself, working through my chores and keeping out of people’s way.

It wasn’t often
that I became a Bad Mood Bear and it bugged me when it hit and I couldn’t find
a reason for it.  I had a job I loved, good friends and a roof over my head. 
What did I have to be miserable about?

If I probed my
feelings further and was truly honest with myself, I knew what it was.  I was
lonely.  Tom would probably end up seeing more of Diana, Daddy appeared to have
a new friend and I’d be left behind without anyone again.

I’d also had a
call from my mother that morning and, from what I could tell, all was not so
rosy with Nigel.  She’d more or less implied that I should wrangle it for my
Dad to move back in and when I’d refused she’d got quite tetchy.

And amongst all
this misery, the image of Luke’s huge frame kept popping into my head.  No
doubt he’d bedded some perfectly polished Sloane Ranger type last night and for
some reason that thought irked me.  I wanted him to be bigger than that,
better
than that, but if he was anything like his friends, it didn’t bode well.

Filled with gloom,
I made my way to the customers’ loo to touch up my make up before opening time
and was surprised to hear the unfamiliar sound of Vi and Lady’s booming
laughter - Annie had been right, the party had been the perfect way to get them
back on track and the bickering had finally taken a back seat for the time
being.  But what I heard after the laughter made my blood boil and saw me
flying into the dressing room in a rage.

‘
Oh, Marco,
kiss me!  I can wait no longer to feel your firm lips on my own.
’  Vi was
reading from a printed copy of my book, fishnet clad legs up on a chair, with
Lady and Tittie opposite as his captivated audience.

I was livid but,
more than that, I was hurt.  I stood there with my hands on my hips, well aware
that I looked like a stern Victorian nanny but not caring.  They’d over-stepped
the mark and Tittie had betrayed my trust.

‘What exactly do
you think you’re doing?  That’s private property you know.  Give it to me now! 
Did you print this off, Tittie?’  I didn’t even bother waiting for his reply, I
was too wound up and on a roll.  ‘Well, shame on you!  I thought you were my
friend.’  I could feel the prickle of embarrassed tears but I was determined
not to let them out.  ‘How
dare
you laugh at me!’

Tittie jumped to
his feet and came over to comfort me.  I stepped away, not wanting to receive his
hug or excuses.  ‘Oh Sweetness, we’re
not
laughing at you.  We love it. 
We really do.  We’ve even started writing some of our own.  Look, we’re calling
it “50 Shades of Shocking Pink!”’  And he showed me a leopard print notebook
they’d all been having a scribble in. ‘I’d
never
laugh at you, you
should know that.’  He looked a little put out and I wondered if perhaps I’d
over-reacted.

Vi came to
Tittie’s defence and approached me.  ‘We really
do
love it, Perce, and
we’ve had great fun coming up with our own plot.  It can get really boring
between acts and it’s given us something to do.  Of course, yours is far better
than ours - and ours is all
gay
sex - but we’d never have thought of it
if it hadn’t been for you.

Gay sex!
I was responsible for them writing homoerotica!  I stood, trying to
take it all in but disarmed and unable to speak.

Tittie took my
hands in his.  ‘Oh, come on Perce, stop standing there with a face like the
last puppy in the pet shop.  We’re your
friends.
  We weren’t taking the
piss, I promise.  Forgiven?’

I managed a shaky
smile and nodded my head.  ‘OK forgiven.  But give me my manuscript back and
stick to writing your own crap - no pinching
my
ideas!’  Having made a
feeble attempt at a joke, I gathered the loose sheets of my book together.

‘Oh no, Percy, we
wouldn’t steal your ideas.’  Lady piped up.  ‘It was all far too heterosexual
for us.  But we
did
rather like Marco - we thought we might give him a
huge willie and whack him in a scene or two.  If that’s OK with you?’  Lady gave
me a huge scarlet mouthed smile and I couldn’t help but surrender and laugh.

‘You are cheeky
buggers
! 
D’you know that?’  I turned to leave, my crappy book tucked under my arm. 
Tittie caught my shoulder as I left.  ‘I reckon I could put an even bigger
smile on that face.  Got something for you, Girlfriend!’

I frowned at him
and then realised he must have meant the dress he’d left in the office for me. 
‘Oh yes, thanks Tittie.  The dress is great - fab colour.  I’m about to put it
on now.’

Tittie laughed. 
‘Not the sodding dress, Dumbo!  Something
much
better than that.  Bet
you’ll never guess.’

I stood for a
second and thought, then agreed, ‘Yep, you’re quite right, I’ll never guess.’

Tittie beamed at
me and I noticed he had lipstick on his teeth.  ‘You, my dear, have an
admirer!’  He stopped and waited for my reaction.  ‘Well, don’t you want to
know who?’

I thought for a
while and then spluttered.  ‘Oh God!  Not Dave!  He’s a cross dresser
and
married,
Tittie. 
Please
tell me it’s not Dave.’  I knew he’d flirted with me but
I’d taken that in the spirit I’d hoped it was intended and not as a serious
proposition.

‘No, not Dave,
you silly tart.  Although, he’d jump on you given half the chance - but I take
it you won’t give him that
.
  This is
far
more exciting.’

‘Well
tell
me then!’  I grinned at him, all anger now forgotten.  ‘Come on, Tittie.  Don’t
keep me in suspenders.’

Tittie looked
delighted with himself and decided to prolong the agony a bit longer. 
‘We-ee-ll …’  He paused for dramatic effect and then continued, ‘The rather
tasty Luke was a little smitten by our Percy and when he left … are you ready
for this? … he asked me to give him your phone number.  Eek!’

‘He .. he .. did
what?  What did you do?  Did you give it to him?  Oh please say you didn’t
Tittie.  He’s way out of my league - did you see the monied set he hangs out
with?’

Tittie looked at
me in horror and slapped his hand on his amply padded bosom.  ‘Of course I
didn’t give it to him.  I know how these things work!  I put the ball back in
your court and took
his
number so that
you
can call
him
if
and when you want to.  Isn’t that fab?’

Oh shit!  As
Tittie had so rightfully said, that did mean the ball was in my court and I had
no idea how to play it!

*****

The rest of the
night passed in a daze.  Thankfully it was a busy one with no time to think,
but I still felt the odd flutter of excitement in my stomach every now and
again.

Luke had asked
for my number.  How cool was that?  I had his number.  How
terrifying
was that?  Of course, I knew in my heart that I’d never actually make the
call.  It smacked of making the first move, and I didn’t do that.  Nope, the
number was useless to me - as worthless as the paper it was written on.  He
wasn’t my type so it was for the best.

It still felt
quite flattering though and I entered it into my mobile.

Just in case.

*****

Dad was still up
when I got home and I was grateful for the diversion.   He poured me a brandy
and patted the seat next to him.

‘Long night,
Percy?  You look done in, love.’

I took the brandy
and sipped gratefully.  ‘I guess it just takes a while to get used to working
nights.  My routine’s all turned on its head.’

‘And it’s not
been easy for you sleeping here on the sofa, I know that, so you’ll be pleased
to hear I’ll be moving out soon.  You’ll get your bed back.’

I silently prayed
that he hadn’t given in to mum, but I acted cool and looked to him to carry
on.  ‘Moving out?  So you found a place then?’

‘Yep, a great
little two bed flat just around the corner in Berwick Street.  I’ll rent until
the house is sold.’  He stopped and waited for my reaction.

‘Sold?  What
d’you mean
sold
?’  A pretty daft question but I needed to know where he
was heading with this.

‘Your mother
seems to think that keeping the house is her God-given right.  It’s not, Perce.
And she also seems to think that, because her little fling with this Nigel fellow
hasn’t quite turned out the way she’d hoped, she can click her fingers and I’ll
come running back.’  He swirled his brandy in his glass, watching the golden
liquid as it splashed at the sides.  He then turned back to me and continued,
‘I’ve had enough, Perce.  I’ve been a fool for that woman for too long and it’s
time to move on.  I’ve told her I’ll set her up in a place of her own and see
that she’s OK financially but the house is going on the market next week.’

I couldn’t
believe what I was hearing.  My dad, slave to my mum for as long as I could
remember, had finally put his foot down and declared that enough was enough.

‘Wow, Dad!  Well
done you!’  I didn’t mention that I’d had my mother on the phone trying to
convince me to talk him into going home.  He didn’t need me confusing matters
when his mind seemed to be made up.  I wanted him to be happy and I truly felt
that he could only do that if he finally broke free from her.

‘Honestly Dad, I
think it’s the best decision you could have made.  I’m so happy for you.’

‘Yeah well, I
guess it’s been a long time coming but once I’d come to terms with the idea, it
was easy.  Quite looking forward to a bit of fun actually.’  He placed his
empty glass on the coffee table and looked at me with a smile.

‘Well good for
you - and about bloody time too.  And while we’re on the subject of ‘fun’ - who
were you with the other night?  Where did you stay?’

Dad stood and
looked a little sheepish, ruffling the back of his head and picking up his
jacket, preparing for bed.  ‘Oh, no one special, Perce.  Just an old friend. 
Night, love.’  And he kissed me on the cheek.

Just a friend,
eh?  The dirty old dog!  Had my dad found himself another woman already?

*****

Annie was looking
totally worn out and it was becoming more and more evident that he really
needed a break.

I was like an old
pro at my job now and could tackle any problems chucked my way - from dealing
with the clients to ordering gaffer tape and slap, keeping the bar replenished
and the wages paid.  The club ran like clockwork and I loved every new
challenge that it threw at me.

‘So come on,
Annie.  Trust me.  I
know
I can cope for a long weekend.  We’ve got
enough acts to cover if you and Tittie head off somewhere.  Let me do it. 
Please
!’

Annie and I were
in the office having a quick cuppa and going through the month’s figures.

‘
You
know
I can do it as well and it’ll do you and Tittie the world of good to get away,’
I persisted.  ‘Just imagine a cosy little hotel in Brighton with a jacuzzi,
mini bar and swimming pool.  I’ll just be at the end of the phone if you want
to check up on me.  What d’ya say?’

Annie looked at
me and shook his head.  ‘Oh I don’t know, Perce.  I’ve
never
left this
place.  It’d be like leaving my baby for the first time.’

Just at that
moment, Tittie appeared and threw a scarlet dress on my desk.  ‘Found this at
the back of the wardrobe and thought of you.  I know you don’t normally do red
but I think you’ll be surprised.  It’s a very forgiving shade.  Fuck, I’m
knackered today.’  He threw himself onto the one spare seat and exhaled
dramatically.  ‘I’m getting too old for all this.  I need to retire.’  He
lifted the back of his hand to his forehead in the manner of a Victorian
heroine in the throes of an attack of the vapours.  ‘Take me away from all
this, Annie. 
Please
!  Just for a couple of nights.  I’ll make it worth
your while, lover!’