Read Stilettos & Stubble Online
Authors: Amanda Egan
‘Well good for
him! And I’m sorry I assumed he was gay, it’s just your mother was so
convincing.’ He stopped and shuddered. ‘And scary! Boy she frightened the
living crap out of me!’
‘Yeah, my mother
has a way about her, that’s for sure. When I was a child, she used to be able
to reduce me to tears with one perfectly aimed look. I was a massive disappointment
to her, you see. And
massive
is most definitely the proverbial word
there.’
‘How
could
you be? You’re a great looking woman with a personality and sense of humour to
match. What more could she want in a daughter?’
I couldn’t
believe I was baring my soul to this man, and I knew I ran the risk of putting
him off by drawing attention to my shortfalls, but the drink had loosened my
tongue and there seemed to be no stopping me.
‘Oh come off it,
Luke! You
saw
my mother - she’s femininity personified and I’m just a
lumbering great carthorse. I wasn’t the dainty little bundle she expected and
she’s never let me forget it.’
Quite out of the
blue, he took my hand in his and placed the softest kiss I’d ever felt in my
palm. He then held it to his face and looked deeply into my eyes. It was the
single most sexy thing that any man had ever done to me in my entire time on
earth. If it was possible to orgasm from one solitary kiss, I was almost there
- and, if it was possible to be content with dying from it, I was prepared to
take my last breath.
‘You have absolutely
no idea how incredibly sexy you are, do you Percy? You just don’t see it?
Well, I was
feeling pretty sexy right there and then,
I
can tell you, but I blushed,
I tittered and I did my usual, ‘
Oh, don’t be so silly’
. Compliments
were not something I found easy to accept, especially not from someone as hot
as Luke.
But if I’d
thought the kiss on the hand was knee-tremblingly good,
nothing
prepared
me for the feeling I was about to experience when he pulled me towards him for
the full on version.
Now, I’d kissed
some men in my life - a few had delivered a tingle and many more had left me
cold and wondering why I’d bothered. I’d engaged in tonsil tangos with some
the equivalent to princes and others on a par with frogs but
this
? This
was something else.
Every corny line
I’d ever written in my poor attempt at romance came flooding back to me.
I
melted, I sighed in utter contentment, I moulded effortlessly into his embrace.
My life had been hurtling towards this one moment without my even knowing. I
thanked the stars and planets which had collided to make this my fate. I saw
proverbial fireworks in shades brighter than I ever knew existed. I was left
panting and longing for more.
So … I think you
get the picture! As kisses go, it was pretty bloody good. It was a Gold medal
winner and left me feeling like I’d run a marathon.
We eventually
came up for air and looked at one another with a smile. Our smiles seemed to
agree that it had been good.
They also agreed
that there was no way we could leave it at that.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
For someone who
was just about dead on their feet with tiredness, I did a remarkably good job
of staying up for most of the night.
Sparing the
details, let’s just say it was oh so worth it!
The last time I
looked at the clock it was nudging five o’clock and, although every muscle in
my body was aching, I’d never felt more content in my life. Sleeping was the
last thing on my mind and yet I knew I needed to re-charge my batteries for the
day ahead.
I must have
eventually dosed off because I suddenly came to with a start and realised that
I was being snuggled and observed.
Luke was looking
as gorgeous as ever in the half light and he smiled at me with a ‘Morning,
Sleepyhead!’
As much as I
wanted to stay cosied up to him for a possible repeat performance, I panicked.
Mornings were not my strong point. My hair often resembled Zoe Wannamaker
after a stint with her finger in a plug socket and if I hadn’t removed my make
up (which had been the last thought on my mind the previous night) I could look
like I’d done five rounds with Mike Tyson.
I pictured all
the perfect, natural looking beauties that Luke had no doubt woken up to in the
past and imagined him taking one look at me and recoiling in horror.
After a quick
kiss (praying I didn’t have dog breath) I hopped out of bed with the sheet
around me (God forbid he should see me in all my cellulite glory) and ran to
the bathroom.
Shit!
Although my eyes were bright and my skin glowing, the reflection
staring back at me was every bit as bad as I had expected. I quickly cleaned
my teeth and performed a damage limitation exercise on my face and hair.
Slipping into my
least revolting dressing gown, I made two coffees and took them back to the
bedroom.
‘Blimey, you’ve
been gone so long I thought you’d done a runner on me,’ Luke said as I
returned. ‘Then I remembered we were at
your
place so you couldn’t have
done.’ He patted the bed and I went over to join him.
He moved in for
another kiss and then studied my face. I looked down, praying that he wouldn’t
see the hotchpotch job I’d done on it. He lifted my chin with his finger and
grinned.
‘Do you always
wake up with a full face on? Do the cosmetic fairies visit you in the night
and do a paint job?’
I giggled and
moved out of his reach to grab my coffee. ‘Don’t be so silly. It’s just …
well, you know … first impressions and all that.’
‘We’re hardly at
the first impression stage any more, are we Perce? You should just let your
hair down and be yourself.’ He kissed the back of my neck and sent a ripple of
tingles through me. ‘You did a pretty good job of it last night!’
I play-thumped
him on the shoulder and soon we were a tangle of limbs in the duvet again.
As much as I
wanted to throw myself into it as enthusiastically as I had the previous night,
I couldn’t help thinking that the sun was seeping through the curtains,
revealing my body in a less than flattering light, and that I’d need to do a
whole new repair job on myself afterwards.
Trying to be
perfect for your dream man was positively exhausting.
*****
We eventually
conceded that we really couldn’t stay in bed all day - as much as we both
wanted to. I had the club to sort out and Luke said he had a meeting.
When I pressed
him on where the meeting was and what it involved, he quickly changed the
subject and pulled me in for another head-swooning kiss. It was very difficult
to think straight after one of his specialities, so the conversation remained
unfinished.
I think I was carried
to the club on a billowing carpet of air. I felt as light as a feather and as
if I could take on the universe and win. I smiled at strangers and hummed
happily to myself. If I’d been in a Disney film there would have been tiny
humming birds flapping around my head and fluffy bunnies dancing at my feet. I
was almost put out that the passers by didn’t join in my song and throw
themselves into a spontaneous but perfectly choreographed dance routine.
Luckily I managed to keep a check on myself and resisted swinging around lamp
posts or jumping in the air with a practiced heel kick.
Boy, was I
feeling good!
As I opened up The
Glove I knew there couldn’t be a better day for me to make the dreaded calls.
Positive Mental Attitude could go a long way and on that day I had it in bucket
loads, shovels full and a whole heap in reserve.
It was pretty
fortunate for Tom that he chose
that
day to ring again. As I juggled
with my key, the door, the post and my handbag, I took my mobile out and
answered it. ‘Well, hello stranger! Good to hear from you.’
‘I’m sorry
Percy. What can I say? When you didn’t return my calls I thought you were
still in a huff with me.’
I went through to
the office, my mobile tucked between my ear and my shoulder, and threw my bag
on the desk. ‘No, it’s fine Tom. Things have just been a bit manic here and I
just never got around to calling you back.’
‘Can you forgive
me? I was pretty tanked up when I last saw you and I acted like a prize berk.’
I was in such a
good mood I decided to have bit of fun with him. He deserved to suffer just a
little and I was the woman for the job.
‘Oh Tom! Do you
mean you’ve changed your mind? I’ve spent all this time thinking we’d be
together forever and you’re …’ I paused and added a little sob for extra
effect. ‘… you’re
dumping
me before we even began?’
I was met with
silence and I had to put my hand over the mouthpiece to stop him from hearing
my giggling. I continued, with the saddest voice I could find - not so easy
when you’re bubbling over with happy endorphins - ‘That’s it, isn’t it Tom?
You don’t love me any more.’
More silence and
then. ‘Oh shit! Percy, I don’t know what to say. It would never work, would
it? Surely you can see that.’
I wasn’t cruel
enough to torment him any further so I decided to put him out of his misery.
‘That’s quite right, Tom. Just a shame you didn’t think that when you were
pissed out of your head and declaring undying love, isn’t it?’
‘You cow!’ Tom
was laughing with relief and I joined in with him. ‘You complete and utter
bitch! God, you had me going there.’
‘Yeah, well let
that be a lesson to you, you great numpty. What if I
had
taken you
seriously? You’d have been right up shit creek then, wouldn’t you?’
‘OK, OK. I get
your point. I swear never to drink again. I clearly can’t be trusted. OK?’
‘Tom, I know for
a fact that that’s never gonna happen but I would like you to promise me
one
thing.’
‘Anything,
Perce. Anything. You name it, I’ll do it.’
‘Give Diana a
call. Even if it’s only to tell her that you don’t think it’ll work out
between you. But,
please,
she deserves
that
much.’
I heard him sigh
and then take a sharp intake of breath. ‘I liked her Percy. Really liked
her. But I just know she’d be hard work. I
will
give her a call
though, I promise.’
He still had no
idea of the trouble she’d gone through to tone down her appearance for him and
I decided that he’d need to find that out for himself. ‘Just take her for
one
drink and see how it goes. You owe her.’
He knew he didn’t
have a short little leg to stand on. I’d made it quite clear that he needed to
do the decent thing and he was too nice not to. Mission accomplished.
I flicked the
switch on the kettle and decided to put in a quick call to Mia. She’d be
delighted to hear of my night of passion and I had no doubt that she’d
instantly consult her diary to arrange for us to go there for dinner. She was
way too nosey to leave it too long before she checked Luke out. I knew she’d be
impressed - I really had hit the jackpot!
‘Perce, hi!’ she
answered in the first ring, slightly breathless. ‘Jo Jo, take your finger out
of the doggy’s mouth and come here for a wipe. Sorry, Percy, we’re at the park
trying to burn off some energy and Jo Jo is indulging in a little canine
dentistry.’
‘I’m in love,
Mia.’ As soon as I said the words, I knew it was true. There was no doubt, no
maybes and no concerns about doing the right thing. Any relationship I’d ever
had in the past seemed like a dress rehearsal.
This
was the real thing.
‘Bloody hell,
Perce! That was quick! Jo Jo do
not
share your ice cream with that
dog. They’ve got germs. Come here
now!
’
I went on to
bring Mia up to date and I think she got the gist, despite the chaotic interruptions
which came with being a mother.
I found myself
wondering if
I’d
ever have my own little darlings to keep control of and
ruin every telephone conversation I was ever likely to have. I grinned soppily
to myself. Any offspring which Luke and I produced would be positively
Amazonian
and the thought tickled me. Then I found myself hoping we’d only ever have
boys. I couldn’t inflict my genes on a girl, I’d never be forgiven.
‘You’ve got it
bad, haven’t you Hun?’ Mia asked as I heard her trudging breathily across the
park, no doubt glam and gorgeous in her skinny jeans and Hunter wellies.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve started thinking up baby names already?’
She knew me so
well and I let out an embarrassed tut but didn’t answer.
‘OK, what’s his
surname, we need to decide which names go with it.’ Mia loved her role as mum
but I knew she could sometimes get lonely fending for the kids and longed to
have an adult conversation whenever she could.
I settled at my
desk and sipped my coffee, ready for a fun game with my best friend in the
world. ‘His surname’s Mortimer. Luke Mortimer.’ The words were music to my
ears and I loved saying them. ‘I was thinking Mattie for a boy and Milly for a
girl. Both got a nice ring to them.’
‘Hmm! Maybe.
But
Persephone Mortimer
! Oh, Perce, I
love
it! It sounds so …
right!’
I couldn’t
disagree, it sounded just perfect.
*****
I breezed through
the phone calls to the club’s creditors. But with the charm I was oozing that
day I could have sold a cut price Primark dress to Joan Collins or convinced
the Pope to try a tab of acid.
I was pleased
with myself. I’d bought us time and that was what we needed at that point. The
new acts should hopefully bring us some fresh punters and already the changes
I’d made to the website had generated more interest. If I really put my mind
to it, I could have The Glove making more of a profit than ever before and
instead of just ‘surviving’ we could be raking it in.
A quick glance at
my watch revealed why my stomach had been complaining so loudly. I’d worked up
quite an appetite the night before but had been too loved up for any breakfast
that morning. An early morning workout (or two) under the duvet beat bacon and
eggs any day but I really needed some food now. And it needed to be calorie,
fat and carb full. I was running on empty.
I was just
grabbing my purse to nip around the corner to the local café, when I heard a
loud rapping on the front door.
There on the step
was the one man who could make my heart beat like a bongo drum on speed - and
he was carrying two giant pizzas.