Still Human (Just Human) (25 page)

Jen wanted to pick us up from the airport, but Danny said we’d need a car anyway, so he has arranged a hire and we make our own way. I smirk at the Range Rover. Boys!
It’s strange to be here again. Only five months since I fled, life looks a whole lot different cruising along the freeway today. I stroke Danny’s leg. He’s still tense, but being home seems to have settled him slightly and when we pull into the driveway at Jen and Scott’s and Jen bowls out to greet us, he visibly relaxes.

“Long time!” She teases.

It’s mid-afternoon on a Monday, so I’m surprised when Scott appears in the doorway to help us in with our luggage.

“What are you doing here? I was told you never stop working
,” I say and kiss his cheek.

“Well, I don’t know how often I’ll see you two now, so I took a few days off.” He says
and softly kisses me back.

“We’re honoured.” I grin.

“Come on, let’s get your things in the laundry,” says Jen. She had very helpfully suggested not packing too much for the long trip as we could use her washing machine. A genius idea and it prevented me from having packing melt-down.

“You’re a star!” I say, linking my arm through hers, leaving the boys to bring in the bags.

We round the corner into the open-plan living area and I’m stunned to find Max and Charlie relaxing on the large corner sofa.

“What the hell?”

Max laughs and jumps up and still holding his cold beer, he squeezes the life out of me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, though my question gets lost, or ignored
, amid the hugging and backslapping of our group. It’s obvious at once that I’m the only person not in on this surprise. I stand hands on hips, waiting for someone to fill me in and when everyone notices, they all laugh.

“Come and sit out in the garden, I’ll get you a drink and we’ll tell you everything.” Danny smirks.

“Hmm.” I huff.

I follow Max and Charlie into the garden and sit with them, looking between them, all I get are shrugs and grins.

“Okay,” says Danny, bringing a tray of cold drinks out, with Jen and Scott in tow. He hands them out and sits beside me. I look at him, waiting. He gets the message and spits it out. “I invited them,” Danny explains. “You and I still aren’t legally married and I wanted to put that right as soon as possible, so we’re all going to fly out to Vegas this weekend to make this thing official.” He shrugs. “I just thought it would mean more to you if our friends came too.”

I shake my head and laugh. “You are something else, do you know that?” I say looking at his perfect face. I lean over the arm of my chair and kiss him. I get up and hug everyone. “So this is what you meant by having plans?”

“Yeah,” he says lovingly, pulling me into his lap.

“It’s brilliant, thank you. And thank you guys for coming out here. It wouldn’t be the same without you.” I kiss the top of Danny’s head. I guess
I’m growing accustomed to his constant surprises. It feels much easier to just go with the flow.

“Aren’t you going to fret about how
I’ve covered us both being away?” Max teases.

“No!” I shoot back. “This is a new me, get used to it. You are the manager, I trust you. I’m relinquishing control.”

Max raises his eyebrows. “I’m very impressed.”

I did tell Max before we left for Mexico that Danny and I are trying for a baby and obviously once that happens, my Rottweiler
-like grip on the business would have to ease. He knows he will be running the show, it’s why he’s on board. We’ve always been more of a partnership really and Danny and I are looking into ways to make it more rewarding for him, but I know he doesn’t expect it.

“Seriously though, is this it now? There
’s nothing else you are keeping from me?” I ask Danny.

Danny really has to think about it. “Nope, I think then we’re done.”

“So no long-lost siblings I’m about to be reunited with? I’m not getting punked? This is really it?”

Danny laughs. “Yes
, this is it, I swear. I’m done blindsiding you.” He strokes my shoulder.

“Good
,” I say. I smile inwardly, the next time someone get blindsided, I can safely say it won’t be me and I’ll be the one holding all the cards…I can’t wait.

Chapter Twenty-six

Liv

I’m calling a meeting.

With Danny and the boys at the beach and Jen gone to check in on her shop
, I’m grateful that the house is empty while I digest what I now know. We’ve only been here a day and it’s been lovely, but Danny can’t relax and I’ve been feeling it too. I know Jen is constantly thinking about Danny’s original offer and, to be honest, it’s become the elephant in the room. Danny talked to the clinic earlier and, when he’s ready, he just has to make an appointment for blood tests then he can donate. He wants to wait and come back to do that when we’re ready.

I’m just coming out of the bathroom when I hear Jen come home. I breathe deeply, my hands are shaking and I need to calm down before I go out there, or I could blow my cover. I can’t believe how it’s coming together. I’m virtually giddy and I would hug myself if I could.

“Hi.” I call out across the living room, to Jen in the kitchen. I hope I don’t sound like I feel.

“Oh, hi. I thought everyone was out.”

“I just got back.”

“I’m having a coffee, do you want one?” she asks.

“Actually, I was just going to have a juice, if that
’s okay?”

“Orange?” I screw up my face and shake my head. Jen chuckles, reaching for the apple juice. “You and Danny are made for each other!”

“So how are things going now?” I ask casually. “You were saying at the airport that you’d have Scott on call twenty-four-seven after a couple of weeks.”

“Ha!” Jen blurts. “He
’s wise to me. Do you see him anywhere around? He’s afraid to be left alone with me.”

“Hmm, it won’t be ideal for you with all of us here, just at the wrong time.” I look at my hands, suddenly feeling guilty for being so inconsiderate. “We could go to a hotel if you like.”

“Don’t be silly. A month off won’t kill us, it’s a damned near impossibility anyway. It just can’t hurt that’s all.” She sighs.

“So what
’s next?” I ask. I’m looking for a way into a sensitive conversation I’ve no place in. But Danny hasn’t talked to them yet and time is ticking. He has an appointment at the clinic in two days and I need to state my intentions before then.

“Well, we need a donor…but that
’s been…on hiatus.” She suddenly looks as awkward as I feel.

A silence spans between us. Oh
God, I’m just going to have to bring it up and hope Danny won’t be angry with me for getting involved. “I know Danny wants to help you,” I say quietly. Then, seeing Jen’s blanched face, I realise that came out like I hate her for it. “We’ve talked about it and I really support him…all of you. I want him to do it.”

She frowns at me
, probably because she doesn’t get why I would support it.

“I…I didn’t want him to jeopardise anything between you two, he offered when he thought…” She drifts off before she finishes saying that Danny offered this when he believed all hope of us having a future was gone.

“It’s okay. He told me everything. I really appreciate what you did for us. We wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t. But…it’s really important to him and I know why. I’d be the same for Max. I just wanted you to hear it from me. I’m okay with it, really.”

I realise that her eyes have welled up, so I step towards her and put my arm around her. “You don’t have to say it
’s okay. I knew it was a long shot. We can go through the normal channels.” Tears roll down her face.

“No, Danny badly wants to give you this. Please let him.”

Just then we hear the boys pull into the driveway. Jen quickly wipes her eyes and laughs a little at her wayward emotions. She doesn’t know how close I came to joining in, but we pull ourselves together just in time and the boys find us sipping juice. That was close, I need to talk to Danny; the weight of what I have to say to everyone suddenly becomes unbearable.

Danny frowns from across the room as soon as he walks in, he can see something is wrong. He comes straight over. “What
’s wrong?” he whispers.

I smile. “Nothing
’s wrong, everything is so right in fact.” I slip my arm round his waist. “But I think we should have a talk with Jen and Scott.”

“Not yet
,” he mumbles.

“No, we have to say something, all this not saying is eating away at our time together. Please?”

He nods, he feels it too. “Okay.”

I grab my chance. “I’m calling a meeting
,” I say to the room. Five faces turn to me with varying degrees of uncertainty, ranging from Charlie’s general surprise, to Danny’s horror that I’m just running with this now, no further conversation. “Please, it’s important. Can you all just sit down?”

“What are you doing?” Danny hisses.

“The right thing,” I state simply and push past him.

“Wait, Liv we have to talk about this. I don't think I can go through with it…I’m not ready…I need to be sure you can deal with it.”

“I can deal with it.” I look into his eyes, trying to will him to have the confidence to believe me, find the faith I know he has in me underneath this momentary lapse. “Do you trust me?”

“Without question.”

“Then come with me and listen to how on board with this I really am.” He hesitates and then follows.

Everyone else is sitting round the big table between the living room and the kitchen, waiting to know why they are there. Max looks like he ought to know what this is about, but can’t put his finger on it and it
’s bugging him. Maybe we should do this without them, but it sort of involves them too.

“Alright everyone. We need to talk about some stuff and unless someone speaks up, the wondering what will happen is going to
affect everyone.” I take a deep breath. “Max, Charlie.” I turn to them. “Jen and Scott are trying to conceive and Danny has offered to help them by being their sperm donor.” Danny cringes. Max nods, he knew about their fertility issues.

Charlie begins to stand. “We should let you discuss this in private”
he says sweetly.

“Sit down.” I
say, a lot more forcefully than I meant. Charlie looks shocked. “Sorry. It’s just that this concerns you too, If you two ever want children, I’m helping you, so you may as well be involved in this.” Charlie is taken aback. Max half smiles. I always said I’d have his baby for him one day, but this is real. My asking them to join this conversation is a future offer, he knows I’m serious. “If you don’t want that, then your support on this is still appreciated.”

“Ok
ay.” I take a steadying breath. “So Jen, Scott… Danny has been tying himself in knots over helping you. He wants to do it so much it aches, I can feel it. I’ve told him I think it’s great. I’ve talked about it with him until I’m blue in the face. But deep down he’s terrified that once it’s done, it will somehow come between us.” I turn to Danny. “Is that about right?”

Danny nods.

“Good. At least we all understand each other. For my part, I wholeheartedly support him in doing this and I want to make a similar offer to Max and Charlie. For years I've said that if Max wants to be a dad, I'd carry his baby. I don't even know if he wants it anymore, but if at some point in the future you wish to explore the options." I turn to Max and Charlie, so they can see I'm dead serious. "I would need to discuss it with Danny fully, but I would be open to talking about it.” A few cautious nods follow. Danny is wide-eyed, but the support for my sudden and frank offer shows on his face.

“I just can’t stand this anymore. The pressure is getting to Danny right at a time when I need him most. So tell them Danny, tell them you’re helping them.”

Danny sighs but then he gives me a tight smile and takes my hand for support. “Okay, I called the clinic and I have all the information.” He shrugs. “So once we’re ready, you know, once we’ve started our family, I want to get started. I’ll fly back and make the donations until you have however many you need.”

I shake my head. “Actually, I called them back. You have an appointment for tomorrow.”

Danny looks at me, stunned.

“Liv
, we talked about this, not until we have our own family.”

“No way!”
says Jen. “We told you, we are not taking Danny’s first child.”

“We can wait
,” says Scott quietly behind her.

“Liv, you should think about this
,” Charlie interjects.

Max just eyes me quietly. I hold his stare and I know he sees what is at the centre of this. A ghost of a smile crosses his lips.

I hold my hands up to stop everyone, someone is going to have an aneurism if I don’t calm this down. “Stop, please just hear me out.”

“Liv, no!” Danny erupts beside me. “I know you want to help, I do too, but not like this. We come first.” He
gives Max a pleading look. "Max, will you talk to her?"

I stand and slip my hand in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I hand him the white stick.

Danny looks at me, eyes wide, his mouth twitches, he blinks and then looks back at the stick. He takes it gently from my hands and looks at the display. Slowly he looks back at me. I’ve never seen him so stunned, then the lights come back on and he leaps to his feet. The happiest, most confused, delirious smile I’ve ever seen, spreading across his beautiful face while he is in motion. He grabs me and lifts me clear off the ground, spinning me around and laughing. I’m suddenly aware that we’re both laughing. Tears roll down my face and when Danny finally puts me down, his lips are on mine before I even get a proper breath in.

“Are we having a baby?”
he asks as he lets me up for air, his eyes shining with unexpressed emotion.

“Yes
,” I whisper.

The others gather around us and
I’m aware of congratulatory hugs and kind words, but, after Danny, my main focus is Jen. Our eyes meet. She’s crying, but they’re happy tears. There’s not a trace of resentment in her eyes and I know then that she is a true friend to Danny. Only the most pure friendships can withstand such landslide moments and she is unquestioningly happy for us. I smile at her and she smiles back. Danny lets go of me for a second and grabs her and I watch while they share this fantastic news together. Max envelops me in his arms.

“I’m so proud of you
,” he whispers. “Congratulations.” I wipe my eyes as Danny turns back to me and Max relinquishes me to my husband.

“When did you find out?”
Danny asks.

“Today. I’m due on in a couple of days, but I feel different, my jeans are tight. I’ve felt like it for a week. So I did a test.” I gasp as he slides his hand over my stomach. We
’ve had some heartbreakingly tender moments over the years, but this tops them all, hands down.

A tear rolls down his cheek. “Thank you
,” he says. I smile softly.

“You see why I think we should do this now?” I say quietly to him while everyone else is giving us a little distance for our moment.

“Yes.” He sniffs. Then he smiles. “You are a very special person, you know? You don’t even stop to savour your own moment without thinking of someone else.”

After we have composed ourselves, Jen suggests tea and coffee as we are unprepared and have no champagne. I help her make it. For a minute or two we work in silence and then I catch Jen looking at me.

“I’m so happy for you,” she says .

“I know you are
,” I say and hug her.

“I just…I don’t want you to think I’m just saying it.
I’m so happy for you both, you will make wonderful parents. This is Danny’s dream, I love him, I know you understand that, so you must know that I wouldn’t have to fake this.”

“I do, I get it. Thank you.” We hug again. This is fast becoming emotionally exhausting!

After a pretty heavy afternoon, we all relax and digest the new turn in our lives. I watch in awe as Jen and Danny make us all dinner. They move around the kitchen like they are two parts of the same whole. They are so in sync and their bodies touch with practiced ease, it warms my heart and makes me feel smug at the same time. I doubt many spouses could stomach it. Scott is an understanding guy and came into this knowing their friendship…and me, well, just as I’m watching, Max comes up behind me, wrapping me in his arms and kisses my cheek. We’re just…different…and today has proved just how different we really are.

Weary from an emotional and mind-bending day, we all turn in early. Tomorrow
, Danny has his blood tests and will make his first donation. I sigh contentedly as I flop onto the bed. Danny closes the door behind him and stands watching me. I look up to see what he’s doing after there is silence for a minute and realise that he’s just staring. I raise up onto one elbow to look at him properly and he moves towards me, not breaking the intense stare, he drops to his knees beside the bed.

He continues holding my gaze as he gently runs his hand across my midriff. It still makes me gasp even though he
’s been doing it repeatedly all afternoon. I guess it’ll just take a while to sink in for both of us. He’s asked me how I’m feeling about fifty times and I haven’t lifted a finger since I told him, giving me some insight into how he’s going to be for the next eight to nine months. I honestly expected him to insist on carrying me the few feet to our guest room, fortunately, he let me walk.