Still Jaded (20 page)

Denton poked his head once, but I threw a book at him. His voice was muffled through the door a second later. "I'll come back tonight."

"Just try it." I glared at the door.

Then I remembered who I should've been mad at. Denton hadn't cheated on me. He'd been the messenger. Feeling horrible, I buried my head in the pillows and rolled over with my blanket. If I were one to listen to sad music, it would've been blaring. I felt like I kissed both my best friends goodbye. No pun intended.

A few hours later, I heard another knock on my door. As I sat up, I rubbed at my eyes and realized that I must've fallen asleep. When I looked at the window, I was surprised to see it was dark.

"Who is it?"

There was a moment of hesitation before Denton replied, "You have…open this door, Sheldon." His voice was muffled, but I heard the weird tone in his voice.

I scratched my face and dragged my feet over. Then, because I was curious, I opened the door and saw a Denton that I'd never seen. He looked like he had to vomit, but I knew that wasn't right. "What it is?"

He cleared his voice and gestured down the hallway. "You have visitors."

My eyes went wide. My mouth dropped. And for the first time in a long time, I was scared. "Who?"

His eyes flashed in sympathy. "I think you know who."

Shit.

My stomach bottomed out, and I wondered if my guts were on the floor. "I can't go down there."

"They came a long ways."

My eyes bulged out this time. "They?!"

Denton nodded, looking resigned. "Yep. They both came, Sheldon."

"Quick. Alcohol."

Denton smiled and squeezed my hand. "I think you need to face this one sober. They deserve that."

"What's with you? I thought you'd be happy that things aren't good with me and them. You're their loudest cheerleader now."

Denton shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. "Contrary to what you think of me, I'm actually not the selfish s.o.b. you think I am. I'd snatch you up in a second. I will if those two don't make you happy, but I've seen how you are with them. They're your family. You love them unconditionally—I can tell. They might screw up. You might screw up, but as long as you guys keep going to each other, it'll always be you and them. Don't get me wrong. The second I don't think you're happy, I'm coming in and I'm coming in hard. I'm not scared of those two."

I found myself fighting against a grin. "Maybe they should be scared of you."

Something flashed in him, but it was unreadable and gone in a second. Then he took my hand and nudged me forward. "Go. They're waiting for you."

One foot fell in front of the other, and I found myself going down the hallway. I looked back once, but Denton nodded in encouragement. When I turned down the stairs, I could feel their presence. It was looming and suffocating. My shirt felt like it was constricting me at the throat. They weren't speaking, but I knew they were there. There'd always been something about both Corrigan and Bryce. Neither had to say a word, but all eyes went to them. They held some unspoken power, each of them. As I stepped off the last step, I felt that same power turn towards me.

Then I took a deep breath and looked up. They had varying expressions of hostility on their faces. Bryce glared from the middle of the room and Corrigan straightened from the couch. They turned and squared their shoulders at the same time.

I gulped. This was not good. My heart started to pitter-patter like a horse race.

Bryce stepped forward in a calm and methodical move, but his eyes were fierce. It scared the crap out of me. With his arms folded over his chest, he forced himself to take a deep breath. "You want to tell me why we found you at Denton Steele's cabin?"

Corrigan jerked forward too. "You lied to us."

I saw his eyes and heard what else he thought.
'You lied to me.'

"I'm sorry I lied, but I felt like I had to."

They jerked forward, stopped, and looked at each other. Each gave the other an uneasy look, but it was barely kept in check by the fury each harbored. Then Bryce bit out, "You have some nerve, Sheldon." He clenched his fists again, glanced at Corrigan, and stepped backwards. It was as if he was removing himself from us.

Corrigan jerked to the side in response. After a cursory look at both of us, he resumed his seat on the couch. Then he leaned forward on his knees and looked at the ground. I knew he wanted to check out, but it was too late. He'd already boarded the train to this wreck.

I didn't react to Bryce's comment. I had no justification so I perched on the end of a chair that was beside me and looked out the window. A part of me wanted something to happen, something to distract everyone. Perhaps a moose would pick that time to walk by. Another part of me hoped both would disappear and I'd wake up from the awful dream.

"This is ridiculous. No one's saying anything."

Corrigan looked up. "What do you want us to say? Sheldon lied. We caught her. She doesn't care. Now what?" His tone sounded resigned as if he accepted the situation how it was. Then he shot me a glare that said anything but.

I looked away, but sighed. Bryce was right. This was ridiculous. I started it all the night before, and I should have the balls to nip this in the bud then. If I did, maybe things wouldn't get worse…I didn't know if I could handle that yet. "Okay. I lied. I've lied a lot. Bryce, Corrigan and I never slept together—"

"Well, we did." Corrigan coughed and jumped up, but regret flared in his eyes a second later. He pulled at his shirt collar and mumbled something underneath his throat.

I looked at Bryce and a part of me leapt in my throat. He looked hurt, suspicious, and hopeful all at the same time. I wanted to hurt him the night before. I still wanted to do that, but when I saw the hope, it flared in me too. What'd I said to Denton had been true. No matter the situation, I knew I'd always love Bryce. "We both got drunk and passed out. I woke up and thought Corrigan was you. We kissed—"

"I thought she was a girl that I took home the night before. I was out of it too."

"We stopped right away. I realized it wasn't you." I rushed out the explanation even though I knew it wasn't enough, and then I waited to see how he'd react to the truth. I hoped that he'd know it
was
the truth.

"So you didn't have sex?" Bryce scratched his head. The movement lifted his hooded sweatshirt up and gave me a glimpse of his six pack. I missed those muscles. I missed feeling them against my ribcage as he thrust…

"You told him we had sex?" Corrigan shot upwards. "Are you trying to get my ass broken?"

"I thought you knew. Why do you keep glaring at me?"

"Because you didn't tell me where you went. I'd understand if you didn't tell Bryce since he dicked around on you, but me? Why not tell me?! You should know guy code. You're more guy than me sometimes."

"I didn't dick around on her."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want anyone to know. You'd tell Bryce and everyone knows it." I frowned and folded my arms over my chest.

"Hey! I'm standing right here!" Bryce waved his hands in the air and stepped between us.

Corrigan rolled his eyes. "You're the reason for this whole thing."

Bryce's eyes got wide. "Me? How the hell am I to blame? I was just told that the girl I love had sex with my best friend and then told that it'd been a lie."

"This is from before. You neglected Sheldon in Spain. You know it. Just admit it for once. I stepped up to the plate because you weren't doing a thing."

"Oh come on. I wasn't that bad—"

"She was drowning!" Corrigan yelled. "You did nothing. You should've been the first one to do something."

"I was working. What'd you expect from me?"

Corrigan surged forward with his fist raised. The air felt thick again. "I expect you to hold your girlfriend at night when she's screaming instead of watching soccer tapes. Maybe something like that? You're a douche for what you did!"

Bryce opened his mouth and frustration flashed over his face. Then he shut down. His shoulders slumped. "You're right. I know you're right. I—I…" He looked at me, and I saw the
remorse in his eyes. They were the beautiful blue ones again; the ones that made me melt so many times. I took a small breath and couldn't look away.

Corrigan looked at both of us and sighed. "Things have sucked between us three. I'm tired of it. You two need to talk and get on the right page. When you're not, I get affected too. I'm sick of that too." He said to Bryce, "We cool?"

Bryce nodded and held out a fist. Corrigan hit it with his own and chucked an arm around my shoulders. As he pulled me tight into his side, he flashed me a smile. "Let's go back and you two can get all hot and heavy. Then all this awkwardness is done."

If only it were that easy.

"What's wrong?"

I looked up and saw they were both watching me. Bryce's gaze was hooded while Corrigan's was pleading. "What?"

Corrigan squeezed my shoulders. "You sighed. What's the problem now?"

"Now?" I laughed, but it was bitter. It had grown cold in the room, and I started to shiver, so I tried to hug myself. "It doesn't get erased like that. It's not that easy. You can't make him apologize and suddenly have everything be fine and dandy."

Although, I wanted that so much.

Corrigan frowned. "Why not? I forgave you just now."

"It's different, and you know it. You don't want to deal with it. He was with her. He's
still
with her!"

Corrigan whirled to Bryce. "Still? What the hell are you thinking? I thought you said it was over as soon as it started?"

Bryce looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

I held my breath. My heart sounded like it was in my ears and my chest felt tight, as if someone was leaning their whole weight on it. My knees trembled. I turned away because a part of me didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to be there any longer, but I still saw them in the window. It'd grown so dark outside.

Bryce choked out, "It's not that simple."

"Wha—" Corrigan expelled a dramatic breath and jerked forward with a fist. He tucked his shoulder and landed an upper cut underneath Bryce's chin.

"Corrigan!" I whirled back and jumped forward.

Bryce fell backwards, but caught his balance after a couple of steps. Holding a hand to his chin, he regarded Corrigan with a seriousness that made my palms sweat. He shot a palm out, and I stopped in my tracks.

Corrigan's jaw was tight. "That's for dicking around on my best friend." Then he looked like he was considering doing it again.

Bryce shook his head. "I let you hit me once because you're right about me hurting Sheldon. You only get one before I hit back, Corrigan."

They were at a standoff. Then both visibly relaxed. I realized they'd be fine now. Something had happened between the two, and I had no idea. What the hell? One punch solved everything? I was left standing in between, and they were okay? "What the –" I screamed and knelt on the ground.

Corrigan scrambled backwards.

Bryce held still, right beside my feet.

Covering my ears, I let loose with as much emotion as I could muster. It was blood curdling and it came from deep within.

"Sheldon!" Corrigan yelled over me and moved forward.

Bryce shot out a hand and shook his head. I fell backwards and crawled onto a couch. My voice sounded mangled, but a small scream still came out. Then I gasped and my voice hitched. With my eyes wide, irate, I hissed at both of them, "You don't get to do this. You don't get to come here and sugarcoat everything. It's not okay, Corrigan! It's not okay at all and he," I threw a hand towards Bryce, "knows it!" Then I heaved a ragged breath and stood on my feet, swaying slightly.

Corrigan jerked forward again, as if to catch me, but Bryce stopped him. He spoke over me, "She needs this. Don't take it away."

My eyes snapped to Bryce, and I saw the old one. He was the one I fell in love with, the one who could withstand any storm. "Where the hell have you been?! Not here, not with me. When she got her greedy hands on you, did she suck your soul out? Where have you been, you asshole!?"

Corrigan looked between us two and then sat down.

Bryce sighed and moved towards me. His eyes pleaded. "There are things that I haven't told you and I see that I should've. A lot of this could've been—none of this needed to happen. I'm sorry, Sheldon."

"Excuse me?" I laughed in outrage. "Excuse me? You make me crazy, Bryce! I'm going crazy and it's because of you. You're with her—"

"I don't want to be!" Bryce shouted over me. "I don't want to be with her, and I won't be anymore."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. He was going to end it? Just like that? A few screams, one punch, and he now saw reason? I couldn't believe it. Something was still wrong.

Bryce closed his eyes and seemed to reel away from me, though he never moved. A wall slammed over him and he turned, but I lurched forward and caught his arm. It was like a brick, but I yanked with all my weight and he stumbled. I caught him with my other arm and then gasped when both of his arms wrapped themselves around my waist. He pulled me tight and buried his head in my neck. Clasping him closer, I was surprised at how
tense he was. It was if his whole body was made of cement. When I looked up, I caught Corrigan sneaking out of the room.