Still Water (12 page)

"You have tomorrow off?" I asked.

"Yes." Lily's eyes met mine. It was time to say goodbye, but it was like we were stupid teenagers on a first date and neither one of us wanted to be the first to say goodbye.

"See you Tuesday." I leaned across the car again, and she met me in the middle. I searched her face, memorizing the four freckles on her nose, the slightly bigger freckle that sat right in that small divot above her upper lip, and the divine mix of colors that shone bright from her happy eyes before I brought my lips to hers one last time tonight. Her kisses felt infinite. She pulled back, and her smile hit me straight in the chest. Oh yeah, I wanted this win real fucking bad.

L
ILY LOOKED SO DAMN
sexy tonight; her sweater was low cut, and the dark green color made her wild red hair stand out more. She had her hair down, the curls were everywhere, and I loved it. My eyes never left her as I finished setting up the equipment for tonight's show. The bar was packed, it usually was when we played, but tonight it annoyed the shit out of me. I hadn't had a second to talk to Lily. I wanted to know what she was going to sing tonight, and more than anything, I wanted to know how she was feeling about us.
Us
… shit! She had me all jacked up, there was no
'us,'
but if I had a say in anything there sure as hell would be soon enough. She glanced up at me; her porcelain cheeks turned pink and caused me to break out into a lopsided grin.

"Bro, what the hell, man? Are we gonna play or stand here like idiots?" Graden was such an asshole sometimes. He always put me in a pissed off mood.

"Yeah, working on it. You got your shit ready?" I said between gritted teeth. Graden was an amazing guitar player, but if I was honest, I hated his ass. Seth and Graden got into some shit awhile back, not sure what about, probably some piece of ass, but since then he's had the biggest chip on his damn shoulder. One of these days I was going to knock him out if he didn't chill his attitude. "Ready." I tested the microphone by tapping it three times with my finger.

The overhead music turned off. "What's up, motherfuckers? We are the Lakeside Prophets…" I looked behind me and nodded my chin at Seth — his face broke wide with a smile. He loved this shit. The beat of the drum started while Jack plucked away at his bass. Graden's guitar started the high keen of feedback from the amp. It was a perfect synchronization of sound, all that was needed was a rhythm and words, and — that's where I came in. "…let's do this."

Once I started singing it was like I lost time. I spent most of my time trying to be numb, but when I was up here playing my heart out, singing the lyrics that I'd written, it was like an out-of-body experience. I've spent the majority of my life hiding behind a giant wall, but once I started writing music and singing, I could say how I truly felt but said in a way that kept me safe. To everyone else they were just words, but to me… well, they were everything. Tonight I wanted to try and show Lily that I
could
feel, that there was more to who I was, and that I wasn't just some douchebag who would eventually screw her over.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Lily

I
WAS IN COMPLETE AWE.

My words escaped me as I heard Todd's rough voice pull through the speakers, his tenor created a blanket of heat that covered my entire body. I'd never heard such an incredibly sexy voice in my entire existence. At first I thought maybe I was being silly, but as the emotion of each lyric hit me like a freight train, I was overcome with admiration. I was grateful the customers were all watching the show, so I could as well. Jace and Tiffany were busy arguing about something as I leaned against the back of the bar. I couldn't be bothered; all I wanted to do was watch Todd as he sang with his eyes shut, brows furrowed, and heart on his sleeve. My pulse beat heavy behind my chest, the bass of the song was deep, and the lyrics were so sad that I couldn't help the tears that started to well up. Todd's eyes opened just as he started to sing what I assumed was the chorus.

Who are you to bring me here?

Who are you to ask me to stay?

Why can't you see it's killing us,

Loving you this way.

These words, they were his past, and his past was crashing over the wall he had so firmly placed around him. His intense voice trapped me in place. Part of me wanted to stay here and listen to it all, listen to his heartache… But this was too much, he was too much, and everything that was happening between us was all too soon. He was turning me inside out.

Just as I was gathering the courage to leave, the song came to a close and the crowd exploded into praise. Todd smiled bigger than I'd ever seen him smile, his deep dimples making him look five years younger. I reached up and started to twirl my father's ring in-between my fingers. I hadn't even noticed my hands had started trembling until now. This man was bringing me to my knees, and I felt helpless to stop it.

"We thought we'd mix this shit up a bit and play a cover. You guys game?" Todd spoke with a smile in his voice into the microphone. The audience went nuts. "I'll take that as a
"yes"
then…" He chuckled, and my stomach flipped. God, he was so good looking, it really wasn't fair. "…How do you feel about "
Stay"
30 Seconds to Mars style, yeah?" The crowd hollered in acceptance again, and Todd threw his head back and laughed with such feeling it was impossible to look away. I was sure I would never know all the sides of this fractured man. Graden, at least I thought that was what Tiff said his name was, placed his guitar on the stand and sat down at the piano. The crowd fell silent as the familiar piano riff started to play.

Todd's eyes locked with mine as the exquisitely gritty tone of his voice poured over me. It felt as if he was singing to me, his darkly intense gaze pulled me in. All I could think about was the other night, his mouth against mine, his hot hands pulling hard at my hips, how perfect my name sounded falling from his lips as he came. I ached for him, and without noticing it, I started to move toward the stage. I walked out from behind the bar as if I was stuck in slow motion; the music was loud and infused the air with tangible feeling. Before I knew it, I had abandoned Tiff and Jace behind the bar and was now standing directly in front of Todd. The large crowd of people swayed gently to the melodic song, but it felt as if it was just me and him. It was as if the universe was pushing me down this inevitable path. The path that lead me here, that lead me to finally hold true to my promise, to my dream, and apparently, this passionate, broken boy was going to ride along with me.

Todd's full lips pulled into the most gorgeous smile; his eyes never left mine as he finished the last five lyrics. He wanted me to stay, and I had no doubt that I would. I didn't really even think I had a choice anymore. Jace came up behind me, disturbing the moment I'd just shared with Todd. I felt the heat of his breath against my ear as I watched Todd's smile die and turn into a hard line. The chills that ran down my spine put me on edge.

"It's amazing isn't it?" Jace laughed, but it sounded fake. "How charming he seems. Tonight, he'll be balls deep in some hot groupie. He always is on Tuesdays, never sticks around. I think he took home two girls just the other night…" Jace's lips where nearly imperceptible against my ear. I despised his touch and his words. I was disgusted. "Don't get too caught up in the moment. Guys like him never change." He placed his arm around my waist, settling his hand on my hip; the sensation of falling filled my gut. The raised temperature of the room, the look on Todd's face, his dark brown eyes pinned at the spot where Jace was touching me, it all made me feel sick.

I maneuvered out of his embrace. "Please don't—"

"What? Tell you the truth? He's a user, Lil." Jace's tone was thick with jealousy. The heavy beat of Seth's drums startled me as the next song was starting.

"And you're what, the
good guy
?" My smirk was vicious. Jace must think I'm stupid not to pick up on this game. He wanted me, and he knew that Todd did too. I wasn't a trophy to be had… for either of them. Jace considered me with an angry glare. I couldn't give a crap. "Listen Jace, I should get back to work." I was in the process of heading back to the bar when I felt a large hand wrap around my upper arm.

"I can be the good guy or the bad guy… it's up to you." Squeezing my arm tighter he chuckled. I swallowed down the lump that was building in my throat and brusquely pulled away from his hold.

"Screw you, Jace." I moved fast through the crowd half-expecting him to grab me again. My heart was running full throttle: the music, the voices, the sounds surrounded me making me feel claustrophobic. I felt as if I couldn't trust anyone. Jace unsettled me and made me feel weak, and that was one thing I never wanted to be.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Todd

I
WAS GRATEFUL THE SET WAS
almost finished; my heart wasn't in it anymore, not after watching Jace's hands on Lily. I almost jumped off the stage and pummeled him. Seth knew what he was doing starting that song so fast. He was always protecting me from myself. It seemed like an eternity, but we finished and set up for open mic. I was eager to find out what the hell dick stick had said to her. She looked at me with such repulsion that I wasn't sure if we were on the same page anymore. What was that saying about planting seeds of doubt and how they grow? Shit if I knew, I just needed to talk to my girl. The thought brought me up short. She wasn't my girl…
yet
.

"Hey, good show tonight, guys." Tiffany's smile was big, her full, red lips spread across her face. The piercings and tattoos didn't hide her beauty, they just added to it. She tried to seem indifferent about her appearance, but I'd known Tiff for a while and, as much as she could be a hard ass, she was a good chick. I scanned the bar for Lily. She wasn't around, but Jace was behind the bar finishing up with a customer.

"Thanks, Tiff… Where's Lily?" Jace's eyes met mine at the mention of her name. A small smirk formed on his lips, and I about lost my shit again.

"She's in back. Whoa, Todd, what's up?" The humor in her voice was gone.

This little game of who's got the bigger dick between Jace and me was about to end. I exhaled sharply, rolled my shoulders back, and cracked my knuckles. I was over his mind games.

"Hey man, let me handle him, all right? You don't want to get fired. Frank's sitting over in the corner booth, bro." Seth palmed my shoulder. "All right?" He gave me a weary smile.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'll go tell Lily it's time for her to play." I reluctantly walked away from the opportunity to throat punch Jace, but in the end I knew Seth had my back.

The break room door was open, so I didn't hesitate to walk in. Lily was standing staring at the photos on the wall. I expected her to turn around, but she didn't.

"What do you want, Todd?" she asked with frustration. The annoyance in her voice hit me below the belt.

"You still singing tonight? Frank's still out there, but he won't stay long." I hated how much I wanted her to look at me. My need for her started to feel like how I used to need Eliz — I didn't even want to think it. I warily walked toward her, and the closer I got, the tighter my chest pulled. This immense weight bearing down on me with each step. I was terrified of her, of the possibility of yet another rejection, of another failure. This dismissal could be the thing to finally wreck me for good. I thought of the other night, sitting with her in her driveway, and that gave me the courage to do what I wanted.

I scooped the hair away from her neck; her head tilted just enough to grant me permission. I ran the tip of my nose down the slope that followed from below her ear to her shoulder inhaling her sweet smell. My lips feathered against her soft, freckle covered skin, savoring each sacred inch of her. Lily breathed out a sigh, and my control wavered. My hands wrapped around her arms, and I pulled her tight against my chest.

My lips found her ear. "What did that fucker say to you?" I stated in a whispered growl.

Lily gazed down at the ground. "Nothing, don't worry about it." She tried to pull away, so I turned her to face me. I lifted her chin with my finger.

"What did he say, baby? Because it sure as hell wasn't nothing. The way you looked at me, like I was a piece of dirt, tells me what he said meant something to you." I stared into her eyes, a mixture of blue, green, and yellow — it was a mesmerizing palate. It was so easy to get lost inside their depths.

"Todd, I'm not a trophy to be won. I don't want to be part of some pissing contest." She started to pull away again. This time I took her face in between my palms and brought my lips to hers. She wasn't a trophy or a prize. She was everything, and I wanted her to be mine. She just needed to be reminded. Our lips moved perfectly together, and the soft moan that left her lips was all I needed to hear. I licked her bottom lip, and she pressed against me as both my hands enfolded under her hair at the nape pulling her deeper into the kiss. Lily made me feel good, and I haven't had that in so long. The weight bearing down on me from earlier lifted as I drew away from her supple, pink lips. I rested my forehead against hers and smiled.
I could stay like this with her, all night.