Still Water (29 page)

"You doing okay, baby?" Todd's strong hands rubbed my shoulders from behind, his skilled fingers worked at the knots that had drawn together from the stress of this week. I nodded. "That song is so damn sad. I wish I could've known your father." A sob spilled hastily from my lips. "Shit, I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm—"

"It's all right." I sniffed. "The song just gives me all the feels." I turned taking in his worried brown eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist. The soft fabric of his shirt rested against my cheek as I let myself fall into Todd, fall into the man I wasn't sure I could live without.

He chuckled. "The feels, babe?"

"Yeah, it makes me feel all sad, and happy, and just… all of them. Each and every emotion consumes me. It's suffocating at times." Todd's arms pulled me tight against his firm body, and though the constriction should make it harder for me to breathe, being this close to him, having him totally surrounding me, it was the easiest I breathed all week.

He kissed the top of my head before he spoke, "You ready to go meet the family?"

My eyes opened wide. I had forgotten about that. The Todd and Emma situation was messing with my mind, not to mention Blue Bar was busy as hell and having to train two new employees sucked. I was grateful for this Sunday, this time to be just me. "Maybe I should just skip this time, Todd."

"What? Why?" He pulled away from me enough to gauge my expression? Hurt shadowed his dark irises.

"Awe, Hellcat, don't be scared. The Dixons don't bite." Seth gave me a rueful smirk as he stepped away from his drum kit.

"I know, I just think… I mean… this is the first time they're going to meet Molly. Todd, you told me your mom cried for an hour after you told her she was a grandma. I think this is more of a fam—"

"I want you there… I need you there. Please don't bail on me." Todd's eyes pleaded.

I shook my head; this was a bad idea. "I'm not bailing on you, but… are you sure they won't care I'm there."

"I told you, baby, my mom is excited to meet you both. Plus, Lizzie and Soy will be there with Sailor. It's not just family." Even though Elizabeth and Sawyer weren't blood, they were still Todd's family, and I didn't want to be the odd person out on such a special occasion as meeting a grandchild.

"Yeah, thanks for the invite asshole," Seth joked.

"Shut the hell up, bro. You go to your dad's every Sunday, and you know it." Todd laughed. "They're going to love you. How could they not?" He gave me a lingering kiss on the lips.

"And… that's my queue to leave." Seth grabbed his backpack. "See you guys later?"

"I promise, Seth, my sister told me Pam leaves tomorrow. You'll be rid of me soon enough." I giggled at Seth's annoyed glare. "What?"

"I told you, Lil, you stay as long as you want." Seth's hard features relaxed. "Mi casa es su casa."

"Uh, it's my house, too, asshat. She's my girlfriend and can stay as long as she wants." Todd pulled me under his arm possessively.

"Calm down, caveman. That's what I just said. See you later, Lily." Seth lifted his chin in a nod as he left the studio.

T
HE SKIN OF MY
hands felt numb as I rubbed my palms obsessively over the fabric of my skirt and down my thighs. We pulled up to Todd's parents' house. Molly was humming to herself as Todd placed the truck in park.

"This is it." He looked over at me nervously.

The house had a worn look to it; the stormy gray sky made the massive trees that surrounded the house a vibrant green. The yellow colored brick was trimmed with muted brown shutters and a brown, shingled roof. A large rusted wagon sat in the front lawn as decoration. You could see the huge barn just slightly behind and to the right of the house. Todd's family home sat on at least two acres of land. The rain had stopped and vapor seeped up from the paved drive.

"Well, what do you think?" Todd's face split to one side in a sideways smirk.

"It's nice."

"Nice?" He barked out in laughter. "Just wait till you smell the cow shi—"

"Todd! Molly's in the car… Remember, Daddy." I laughed as his brow dipped, obviously internally scolding himself.

"I suck at this." He frowned.

"You're a great dad." He started to protest. "Stop, I'm serious. She lights up around you. Isn't that right, Lolly? Your daddy's the best."

"Yup." She giggled.

"Thanks." His smile was small as he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I'll grab her if you wouldn't mind getting her diaper bag."

"Sure thing." My anxiety coiled through my ribcage like a vine as Todd shut the door behind him. This was it. I was meeting his mother and father.

We hadn't even made it up the stairs to the house before the front door swung open. A beautiful older woman with flaxen hair bounded down the stairs. Her full lips spread into a giant grin as she took in the sight of Molly in Todd's arms.

"Is this… is this… my grandbaby?" The emotion poured from her lips, and her russet eyes spilled over with tears.

"Ma, please don't cry." Todd's voice was heavy from held back emotion and his eyes shined with unshed tears. "You'll scare her."

"I won't scare this cute baby girl, will I?"

I wasn't sure what to do, so I just quietly observed Todd as he introduced Molly to his mother, and I watched Todd pull his mom into a hug with one arm and hold Molly in his other with an overpowering sense of pride in his stature. Todd's world had been turned upside-down, but he didn't let it shake him. He grabbed the world by its axis and turned it just where he wanted it. He owned his life, and I loved him for it.

"Oh gawl, I'm so sorry, my manners." Todd's mom rubbed at the running mascara. "I'm Karen, you must be, Lily?"

"Yes." I smiled at her meekly.

"Well, it's just wonderful to meet you, hon. Come on inside guys before it rains again." She gave Todd a private smile and led us into the house. The aroma of apples and cinnamon hung in the air, and my stomach growled. The house was simply decorated with a country style. Family photos lined the walls.

"It smells good, Ma, you making apple pie?" Todd asked as he laced his fingers through mine. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and squeezed my hand easing my wired nerves.

Karen watched us and grinned as her hand rested against her chest like she was trying to steady her breathing. "I made all your favorites: beef stew, buttermilk biscuits and, yes, apple pie."

"Hell yes."

"Todd, language." Elizabeth's voice was soft as we walked into the large open kitchen. Cameron, Colby, Liz, and Sawyer sat at the table snacking on what looked like a cheese and veggie plate. Elizabeth was the first to see Molly, and her smile couldn't have been any wider. Sawyer looked much better than that day in the hospital. He lifted his chin at Todd in a silent hello as Sailor pulled at the collar of her daddy's shirt. Todd had mentioned his recovery was going well.

Everyone's eyes landed on Molly as we fully entered the room. Cam's hand shot to her mouth, and Colby's lips split into a slow motion smile as he took in his niece. An older, handsome gentleman with tanned skin that wrinkled around his eyes smiled at us from the stove. There was no doubt that he was Todd's dad. Todd had his mother's eyes, but he looked just like his dad.

He gasped as he looked at Molly. "My heavens, son, she's you."

"Yup, but with different plumbing." Todd laughed.

"That's gross." Colby scrunched his nose.

"And inappropriate." Karen clicked her tongue.

"When have I ever been appropriate, Mom?" Todd's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Good point, son. Now can I meet these beautiful ladies?" Mr. Dixon offered me his hand.

"Oh yeah. Dad, this is my girlfriend, Lily."

"Hi." The room fell still as Todd's father's hand met mine. The familiar feeling of rough skin and the smell of old spice encircled me. My father's scent was everywhere; with each rise and fall of my chest the smell grew in strength, and I was on the verge of having a mental breakdown in front of all these people, these strangers.

"Nice to meet you. You okay, sweetheart?"

I shook my head slowly; I wasn't able to find the words. Todd's father wore the same cologne as my dad, and the memories started to inundate my brain. I felt so foolish standing there like a mute.

"Here Ma. Lolly can you go with Grandma for just a second, sweet pea?" Todd spoke in a soothing tone, his voice was the only thing to snap me out of my downward spiral.

"I'm fine… I'm sorry, I'm just… hungry. We skipped lunch, and I just had a wave of nausea. Really, I'm fine. I'm sorry to worry you, Mr. Dixon."

"Call me, Alistair." He took my hand again, but this time he embraced my hand with both of his. "Let's get you some food. Everything will be ready soon if you want to go have a snack with the others." He smiled kindly.

"Thanks."

Before we sat down to eat dinner, everyone had a chance to meet Molly. She ate up the attention and flourished in the spotlight. Todd had been worried she would be scared of everyone because it had been just her and Emma for so long. Molly wasn't used to a big family, and he worried too many people would make her act shy and his family wouldn't get to see the active, whirling dervish that was all things Lolly.

Dinner was delicious, and the conversation was varied. It seemed as if Karen and Alistair were the parents to everyone. They basically raised Elizabeth, and Cam came from a divorced home. Cameron's mother, I found out, moved to Arizona for a new job opportunity, and her dad worked all the time, so he wasn't really around much. For all intents and purposes, Todd's mother and father were like stand-in parents for everyone, and the respect I had for them grew exponentially.

I offered to help Karen with the dishes and was scrubbing away at the soup bowls when I felt Todd's lips graze my ear. A shiver ran down my spine, and I almost dropped the bowl.

"Careful, these bowls were my grandma's." He trailed his hands leisurely down my arms causing my stomach to constrict with need; Todd's touch got me going from zero to sixty in three seconds.

"You keep touching me like that, and I'll definitely drop the bowl."

His chuckle resonated deep in his throat as he skimmed the tip of his nose down the line of my neck. "Damn baby, you smell so fucking good," he whispered against my skin, and I was sure he could feel my pulse with his lips.

Heat flushed across my chest, and I pressed my body against his. His fingertips brushed across my stomach, tracing lightly under the top of my skirt. I turned my body to face his and leaned my cheek into his waiting palm. Todd drank me in with hooded eyes. We had this dance down. His lips found purchase on mine, and he kissed me deeply. His tongue tasted me, my teeth drew across his bottom lip, while my hands moved across his broad chest to his shoulders, finally clasping behind his neck. Todd's left hand grasped my backside pulling me against him, his arousal pressed against my stomach, and he groaned.

"Get a damn room, what the hell?" Colby admonished in a low voice. "If Mom walked in here right now, she'd freak, and you know it."

My cheeks were crimson for a whole new reason. I was mortified. "Oh God, I'm—"

"Don't apologize to this shithead. He's just being a douchebag."

"Shut the hell up. Remember that time Mom caught you and Emma making out in the basement while you were dating, that was classic." Colby snickered, and my stomach dropped.

"You're an asshole. Don't worry about anything this idiot says. I'm gonna splash some cold water on my face, I'll be right back?"

"Sure." I composed my features enough to ease Todd's mind.

"Don't be a dick, Colby, or I swear to God…"

Colby laughed. "I'm just messing with you, bro."

"Cut that shit out. I'll be right back, and then we'll head home, yeah?"

"Yeah." I nodded and grinned at the dimple that formed as Todd smiled brightly at me.

Todd left the kitchen. The noise of everyone chatting and laughing in the living room echoed throughout the house making me feel somewhat at ease again, until I saw Colby staring at me with raised eyebrows. "What?"

"Home? You guys living together now?" He appraised me suspiciously.

"No, I'm just staying with him until my sister's guest leaves."

"Oh good, 'cause I was gonna say, you guys hardly know each other." His eyes locked with mine. I didn't like the way he looked at me like an errant child, so I turned and busied myself with the dishes as he spoke, "I mean Todd's life just got hella complicated. I'm sure that's been messing with you, not to mention how close he is with Emma. Shit, that would make me crazy. Here let me help you, Lil."

"I'm not the jealous type." I handed him the bowl to dry.

"Oh sorry, I wasn't meaning that. I just mean… this is serious. That little girl is everything, you know, and I can tell you guys really care about each other. But I've watched Todd give of himself, give his all once before, and to say it ended badly would be an understatement. I guess what I'm trying to say is… this is a lot to deal with, and I think for Todd's sake he needs to deal with this on his own."

Colby turned to put the bowl away in the cabinet. My heart hammered in my chest, and everything I'd worried about surfaced. How I didn't fit in here. How I wasn't one of them. How Todd needed to be with his family. How he needed to do this on his own. I didn't want to believe it — I couldn't stand to hear it. "Todd's a good man. He'll do the right thing, Colby. I know it." The lump in my throat distorted the sound of my voice.