Sting (29 page)

“What you saw that night was me doing my job.”

“Your job?” I bark out. How is that possible?

“I’m an undercover detective for the Australian Federal Police,” he says, his voice firm. His gaze, fixed on me, is unwavering. Entranced by his eyes, I can’t look away.

What?

“This is how you’re gonna try and convince me? By telling me you’re a cop? Really?”
Oh, this is just perfect.

“I’m serious. I’m risking my career, my entire operation telling you this, but you’re worth the risk. I’ve never let a woman into my heart before you, Blondie. I can’t lose you. I never thought for one moment I’d walk into a coffee shop on my first day in town and fall for someone as perfect as you.”

“Huh. I’m far from perfect.”
I have baggage like you wouldn’t believe
.

“That’s not true. You’re perfect for me. We’re perfect for each other.”

“Is Ryan even your real name?”

“Yes, but my surname is different.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

A tortured look splashes across his face. He scrapes his hands down his face. “Did your name used to be Angel?”

I gasp, and cover my mouth with my hand, which is shaking like crazy. Goosebumps flood all over my skin and my stomach flips. If he knows this about me, then who else does?

“What?”

“I know about the Ezekiel case.”

“How do you know?” Sugar. I’ve just admitted it.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.

“I worked it out.”

Wow
. Ryan is a cop. I believe him, because how else would he know this stuff? Was he sent to check up on me, to make sure I was keeping with the strict rules of the program? How long has he known?

“Did you know it all along?”

He shakes his head. “No, Blondie. I only found out last week.”

Why only last week? “Were you checking up on me?”

He huffs out a breath between his parted lips, and rakes his hand through his mussed up hair. “After the night in the alleyway—I won’t lie, it cut me right up. I’ve always worried about what you’d been through. All I could see was the hurt in your eyes. It was fucking awful.”

He takes my hand in his, stroking his thumb over the ridges of my knuckles. “When I came to your place the next morning, I came to tell you what went down at the pub, and why I’m here in Freo. In the heat of the moment, I was going to tell you the truth, but you shut me down.”

So I’ve been torturing myself over Ryan for nothing?

“After I left your place, I made a call to a trusted colleague. I needed to know more, and if there was something I could do to help. I’m sorry. I’m a fixer. It crushed me that night, and I just wanted to understand you. That’s when I found out about WITSEC. This last week has rattled me in ways, I … shit, Blondie.” He sighs heavily, and closes his eyes. When he opens them, his dark chocolate pools are glistening. It melts my insides. “You’ve gotta understand, I’ve never been in this situation before, never had a woman that makes me feel …” He clenches his jaw, and squeezes my hand.

“Feel what?” I prompt.

His eyes never leave mine. “Feel, full stop.”

Sweet cupcakes.

“And what now? I feel like I barely know you.”
Even though I love you.

“You don’t realise how alike we are. In different ways, we fight crime. We’ve seen how drugs destroy lives. We’ve fought it in our own way, whatever the cost. Our love lives included.”

Ain’t
that the truth
.

“I don’t know the truth from the lies,” I whisper.

I admire Ryan for what he does, but I feel like I’ll be starting our relationship all over again. Can I put myself through that?

“You ask anything of me, and as long as it’s nothing to do with the job, I promise you I will give you the truth. I’ll talk until I’m bone dry.”

I stand up and dust the sand from my shorts. “You would?”

Ryan rises and moves his body close. He lifts my head with a crooked finger beneath my chin.

“I’m sick of putting my life on hold,” he says, his voice hoarse. His hands glide up my arms and he rests them on my shoulders. “You make me want things I’ve never dreamed of, and I only want them with you.”

Tears stream hopelessly down my face. How long have I waited to hear this? Why couldn’t it be without all these complications?

He wraps his strong arms around me and pulls me into his warm chest. His familiar crisp scent teases at my nostrils as I squeeze him tight. I’ve missed this so, so much.

“You can’t fix it, Ryan. You can’t fix me.”

“I know I can’t do anything about the past. I can’t fix Angel, but damn it if I’m not gonna move mountains to give Willow what she needs. What she deserves.”

This situation is no longer just about me. It’s about what the future holds. It’s about the baby.
Our baby.

Can we be a family? Can I have something that I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl? How will it all work if he’s off on an assignment? Will I not see him for weeks, months at a time?

“What happens when this job finishes? What then?”

“I want out of undercover. We’ll work it out, Blondie. I promise. We will.”

He leans down, and in a gentle-giant move, kisses me on the forehead. I close my eyes, allowing the warmth of his lips to seep into my soul.

I press my palms against his chest. His pec muscles flex beneath my touch as I slowly push him back. He drops his hands to my waist.

I will not get excited by the placement of those magic hands.

I swallow hard. “I need time to think, Ryan. I have to go.” I take my car keys out of my pocket and turn towards the car park.

Ryan seizes my wrist, his grip firm. “Wait. At least let me follow you home.”

I shake my head, and his hand drops to his side in a sign of defeat.

The corner of my mouth curls into a fleeting smile. It’s all I can manage. “Just give me some time,” I ask.

“Whatever you need. I only wanna make you happy, and I know I can do that.”

I huff a forced breath out of my nose, and nod.

I know you can, Ryan.

I need to learn to trust him, and I can’t just switch that on. It’s something to be earned.

There’s no sight of him as I wander to my car and drive out of the car park.

Part of me wishes there was.

****

RYAN

The ocean creeps higher up the sand as the tide rushes in. The waves crashing to shore do little to calm me. Her words bombard my thoughts as I walk further up the beach.

“Just give me some time.”

I’ll give it to her, even though it’ll fucking kill me. I’ll give her anything she wants. I just want us to be okay.
I need us to be.

“What happens when this job finishes?”

I meant it when I said I wanted out of undercover. I’m done, and next time I talk to Pete I’ll be telling him just that. After this job there’ll be plenty of opportunities on my doorstep. I’ll just choose the one that works best for me and my little woman.

“I don’t know the truth from the lies.”

I never lied about my feelings for her; she has to know that. I rarely lied or stretched the truth, and when I did, it was only for work. I know I wasn’t all that forthcoming with personal stuff, but then again, neither was she.
Now I know it was for
good reason.

“I feel like I barely know you.”

Well, didn’t those words cut right to the fucking bone.

Willow and I will have to start from scratch. I can’t imagine it will be easy. My heart twinges in my chest, knowing that I get to do this again. I get to sweep her off her sexy tennis shoes once more.

I just have to gain her trust. I’ll prove to her, show her that what we can have will be incredible.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, setting my heart racing with hope that it’s her. She wants me to come over. We’ll talk some more. I’ve never been more serious than when I said to her that I’d talk ’til I’m dry.

Mick.

What a fucking let-down.

“Yeah, man,” I say and let out a heavy sigh.

“Palmer, the exchange is going down tomorrow, out at sea.”

Hallelujah
.

“Where’d we get the intel from?”

“The South Australian taskforce got some info from a wire tap. After another chat with Bones, he confirmed that he’s expected to be pushing supply with more gear coming in any day now. They mentioned a place called Grey’s Canyons. We’ve worked out that it’s a place about forty kilometres off shore. Some of the local deep-sea fishermen rave about it.”

Thank fuck I’ve got this seasickness shit under control.

“So I’m guessing we’ll be planning a big day out on the water?”

“Yup. I’ve already packed the satellite phone, extra ammo, and plenty of food and water. I’ll fill up some jerry cans with fuel on my way in. With any luck we’ll get the exchange on camera, and then depending on what happens, either the Coastguard or POLAIR will swoop in.”

This is it. We’re at critical point. I just wish it wasn’t happening so far off-shore.

“Man, if I never see another boat again …” I say through a chuckle.

“So you keep sayin’,” he says. “Righto, hotshot. I’ll see you here at five sharp.”

“Will do.”

I turn around and make the journey back to my car. I scroll to Willow’s number in my phone. It’s time to man up.

I send her a text.

Me
: Here are some truths

I wait a minute, before I send another.

Me
: I love lemon

Let’s see how this tactic goes. I’ll text a truth, every now and then until I fall asleep. I need her to know she’s on my mind.

****

WILLOW

After a hot shower, I curl up in bed with a Lady Grey tea. From the nightstand, my phone alerts me of a text.

Ryan
: Here are some truths

Huh?

I take a sip of my warm drink, and contemplate what he means. It beeps again.

Ryan
: I love lemon.

I chuckle softly to myself. That’s the first thing that comes to his mind?

Another text.

Ryan
: Lemon meringue pie is now my personal favourite

Warmth rushes to my face, and I squeeze my thighs together. Images of that night run through my head. His hot mouth exploring my body; how his hands held me, firm, yet gentle; and how he brought me completely undone beneath him. These memories will stay with me forever.
And they now have me feeling horny as anything.

Every ten minutes or so, another message ensues.

Ryan
: I adore your coffee, and anything that comes out of your kitchen

Ryan
: I have a sister, who busts my balls. She’s pregnant with her first child, care of her boyfriend, who is a pilot

Ryan
: I’ve never heard anyone sing quite like Sienna

I laugh out loud as I remember being caught in the rain with a very squealy Sienna, and driving Ryan home; his potent sexiness filling the car to the point where it affected my driving ability. Was that the moment I fell for him?

Ryan
: I was a jock

Ryan
: I DO want you round-bellied and cooking biscuits in OUR kitchen

Oh, Ryan.
My heart pangs. He meant that. He really did. Well, it’ll be here a lot sooner than he thinks.

I run my hand over my belly. It doesn’t look any different to normal, but just knowing what’s inside—our future—has me crying happy tears.

I slide my phone beneath my pillow, and take great comfort in knowing that he wants the same thing I do. I’m ready to take a chance and start again with Ryan.

A muffled beep fills my pillow.

Ryan
: I know where my heart is. Night, Blondie x

I know where mine is, too.

This time, I have to reply.

Me
: Night, Big Mussies <3

I’m looking forward to some more truths tomorrow.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

RYAN

I gulp down some water and chuck the bottle back into the Esky. Five hours we’ve been out here, and fucking nothing. Not so much as a bite.

“How much longer do you reckon we’re gonna be floating?” I ask as I take another look at the old blue and white fishing trawler, which is the only boat around for miles.

“As long as it takes,” Mick growls.

Yeah. He’s as fed up with this waiting shit as I am.

Two hours later we radio in and report that the vessel with the helipad is within view.

“Fuck me. They’re here,” Mick scoffs. “I thought we’d be waiting til sunset.”

The sleek white vessel approaches the trawler with great speed, creating a wide frothy wake behind it. I grab the camera with the telescopic lens and zoom right in and take some pics.

It and the blue and white trawler bob against each other, deckhands putting fenders between them and securing the boats together with rope. The muscle, dressed again in black, move around the lower deck of the yacht. I keep taking shots until a young guy on the trawler in a navy singlet and board shorts makes the exchange, passing three large black bags over to the muscle.
That’s a fucking lot of gear.

Perez suddenly comes in to view with binoculars targeted in our direction. I turn around and put the camera on the seat.

“Fuck!” I grunt out. Did he see the camera aimed at them?

The boats part ways and the luxury vessel turns and powers straight for us.

“What the fuck do we do here, Mick?”

“They must be fucking on to us,” he says, his voice gravelly. “Worse thing we can do is run; it’s only going to make us look suspicious if we do. We need to hang tight. We’ll be fine with the cover. Just stick to that.”