Stirred (18 page)

With a sigh of relief, I turned away and grabbed the knob to swing the door closed. But, just as it was about to shut, a man’s foot blocked the path and stopped the door in its tracks. A hand pushed it toward me. Startled, I jumped back with a gasp and clutched both my hands to my chest.

“It’s all right, Eden. It’s just me.”

Oh my God. Sean. Here. Inside my school. And I was essentially alone. Even if I screamed, no one was around to hear me, except Mr. Banta, but he had his headphones on.
Shit!

I moved in reverse, one slow step, then another.

“Stay away. Don’t come any closer,” I ordered as I backed into a desk. With one hand behind me, clinging to the edge of the desk, and the other raised in warning, I pointed at Sean as he did exactly what I told him not to.

“Eden, relax. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he replied in a calm voice.

“You…you’re…you’re trespassing. This is…this is private property. Leave now, or…or I’ll call the police,” I commanded in my sternest Principal’s voice.

Sean stopped and chuckled. “We’ve been through this already, remember?”

I shook my head. “That was before I knew who you really were.”

Sean pulled his chin in close. “And who would that be?” he asked with his brow pulled into a tense furrow.

I skirted the desk and resumed my slow backward march toward my office door.

“Sean Bennett,” I muttered. “The same Sean Bennett who’s been stalking me on Twitter.” I paused and shook my head again. “God, you must think I’m an idiot for not putting it all together. I mean,
two
U-Dub grad students engaging me at the same time? And I was too naïve to realize they were one and the same.” I rolled my eyes, embarrassed by my own gullibility.

Sean offered a small, sympathetic grin.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Eden. I purposely kept that from you. But, in my defense, this all started as little more than a game. You intrigued me that first night, and I wanted to know more about you, but realized you’d probably never engage with me again, so I used Twitter. I knew there was no way you’d recognize me, and I hoped you wouldn’t mind the attention. I apologize for the ruse. I planned on coming clean the next time I saw you.”

“I don’t
want
to see you anymore. Please leave. Now.” I raised my chin, turned, and rushed for my office. I heard Sean race after me, right on my heels.

He caught me by the elbow. “Eden, wait—”

Yanking my arm free, I spun around to face him, only now I was more angry than scared.

“What is wrong with you?” I railed. “Why won’t you leave me alone? And why are you stalking me?”

Sean stopped short and raised his hands. “Whoa. I am
not
stalking you. I swear. It’s all been just dumb luck, running across you like this. Who knows, maybe we’ve passed by each other dozens of times before, but we didn’t realize it, because we didn’t know each other yet. Have you even considered that, Eden? Maybe it was just serendipity that we met at the bar, destiny throwing us together, an inevitable circumstance, constructed by Fate herself.”

I backed in behind my desk, picked up the phone handset, and pushed the button for an outside line. I held the phone up, as if it were a weapon.

Undeterred, Sean grinned and took a step closer.

“Do you believe in kismet, Eden? Divine intervention?” He slowly raised his hand, as if begging me to take a chance on him. “‘Cause I do. How else can you explain this?” I winced as his fingers eased between mine, still grasping the phone. “Sure, maybe I hunted you down at your signing, a publicized event, by the way. But the bar?” He nudge my hand lower. “And now Robbie’s school?” Caressed the inside of my wrist. “Those were happenstance, like stars aligning or something. And the timing, Eden. God.” He rounded the desk and stood beside me now, skating the backside of his fingertips up my arm and back down again. “You needed someone, and there I was.
You
chose
me
that night in that bar. And that kiss? Mmm,” he moaned, his chin over my shoulder and his lips at my ear. “It was like karma sealing our fate.” With his eyes pinned on me, Sean slipped the handset from my loose grip and set it back in the cradle. “I’m not superstitious, but I truly believe we were somehow meant to be together. And I have to wonder how you cannot?”

With my heart a dry lump in my throat, I stopped breathing when he turned me to face him. His gaze was locked on me. I couldn’t break the connection or pull away.

“Are you so worn down that you no longer recognize the signs? Are you so jaded you don’t remember what true passion and desire feel like? ‘Cause this is it, Eden,” he whispered, cupping his hands to my face, so close, he stole what little breath I had left. “This is your chance to grab the life you really want, the one you were destined for.”

I stared at him, mesmerized. Everything about Sean was hypnotic—his smile gentle and reassuring, his eyes mellow and soothing, his voice low and calm. Each eased away my concerns, convincing me to do things I shouldn’t do, that were completely against my nature.

Or maybe…

Maybe it was the last twenty years with Declan that had been against my nature. Maybe it was Declan who’d convinced me to do what I shouldn’t have. What Sean brought out in me, how
he
made me feel, that was more how I used to be, before Jacob died. Maybe this really was a resurrection, and I was coming full circle. Maybe Fate
was
giving me a second chance at the life that was stolen from me.

Perhaps I was desperate and simply wanted that to be true, but, looking back at all Declan had done, everything he’d twisted my arm to choose or do, it sure felt like Declan was the one who’d coerced me at every step, every decision, every move. Why hadn’t I ever realized that before? I’d known since day one that Declan was a controlling manipulator. I sighed. Yes, I
knew
, but, he was so good at it, so skilled at making whatever it was
he
wanted seem like it was
my
idea, I never even considered it to be anything but. How stupid could I possibly be? How naïve, how unsophisticated and implicitly trusting.

Talk about being blind. I really
was
an idiot.
Was.
Past tense. But not anymore. The light was now on. I could see clearly. And what I saw was Sean. In that moment of clarity, as I stared into his impassioned eyes, I made a decision, one based solely on what
I
wanted, what
I
needed, for the first time in nearly twenty years.

I slowly reached up for Sean’s hands. Silent. Unsure if I was truly doing the right thing, but excited for whatever was ahead. Sean gently grasped my cold fingers in his warm ones and eased me out from behind my desk. He pulled me close, but he didn’t fold me into his arms, though I felt sure he wanted to. Nor did he kiss me, though the way he gazed at my lips, I was positive he wanted to do that, as well. Instead, he turned and guided me to the leather sofa under the long window that looked out onto the lake, though, now, it was so dark, only a few twinkling lights on a smattering of boats and those along the Seattle shoreline were visible. I could see them now.

Sean directed me to sit first before taking a seat next to me, close, but not too close. And he didn’t release my hand. He kept it loosely ensconced between both of his, as if making a proclamation, claiming me for his own, but without conquering me or making me feel as if I had no choice. He kept his eyes pinned on my hands as he spun my diamond wedding and engagement rings around and around, like they offended him, and he wanted nothing more than to slip them off my finger and cast them into the dark waters outside the window.

The gesture, though simple and unspoken, made me uncomfortable. I didn’t want to rush again. I wanted to take things slow, move at a more natural pace, get to know each other a little first. We obviously had sexual chemistry; that much was clear. But could we be friends, too? Would we enjoy each other’s company when not screwing our brains out? I needed to know Sean first, before I did that with him again, before I let him touch me and became completely undone.

Nervous, I cleared my throat. “So…Sean,” I said, tasting his new name on my tongue, “If we have any hope of proceeding, I need to know more about you, so…tell me a little about yourself, about your family.”

With a relaxed sigh and his thumb circling the back of my hand, Sean leaned back into the sofa and proceeded to tell me about his parents and how close they once were, how Robbie had unexpectedly come into their lives when they took him in as a newborn, fostering him until, three months later, his drug-addicted birthmother terminated her parental rights. And since the birthfather was unknown, they excitedly started the process of adopting him. Not too long after, though, Sean’s mother discovered her husband was having an affair, and while they tried to work through their issues, they ultimately divorced, and his mother proceeded with the adoption on her own.

“My mom was lucky though,” Sean said, his thumb ceasing in place. “She met Will, and he married her nine months later. He loved Robbie as much as we did, so he formally adopted him, generously giving Robbie his name and the right to any inheritance. Robbie changed everything, but only in the very best of ways.”

“What happened to him?” I asked, afraid to hear the answer, but curious nonetheless. “How did he end up in a wheelchair? Your mother never explained, and I didn’t want to butt in where I wasn’t welcome.”

Sean smiled, but it was so bitter, so heartbreakingly sad. He finally dropped my hand, and I immediately felt the loss. Pulling away, he ran his fingers through his hair.

“It was my fault,” he said. “My brother will never walk again because of me.”

“What?” I asked. “
Your
fault? How could that be?”

Sean sighed as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He leaned forward on the sofa, elbows on his knees and his hands in a knot. He stared off, unfocused, but his mind was obviously sorting through something upsetting.

“What is it? What happened?” I urged.

Sean shook his head as he dropped his gaze to the space on the floor between his knees, his brow pulled together with a jagged score slicing it in two. He covered his face when his chin began to quiver, then he fisted his hands and squeezed his eyes tight.

“I…I can’t… I don’t…” he began, but immediately choked up.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”

I laid a comforting hand along his forearm and felt his muscles tighten beneath my fingers. Gently shirking me off, he pressed his thumb and finger deep into his eyes before blowing out a heavy groan. One minute passed in silence. Then two. Then, with a shake of his head, he took a deep breath.

“When I was a senior undergrad,” he started, “I met this girl named Hayley. You remind me of her a little, with your red hair and green eyes. She was a year behind me and…I don’t know…kinda crazy, but a helluva lotta fun. I was pretty serious about school and never had much time for anything, let alone a girlfriend. Hayley was the exact opposite—playful, lighthearted, unconcerned with class or homework. She was there to have a good time, and she did. Every fucking day.”

He stood from the sofa and took a couple steps away, his hands in his pockets and his eyes still focused on something I couldn’t see. After a silent moment, he turned to face me.

“Except for when she couldn’t,” he added then stepped toward my desk and leaned against the side, opposite me. He looked me in the eye with a somber cast on his gorgeous face. “Hayley lived and loved with her whole heart. I’d never met anyone quite like her before. It was easy to get wrapped up in her excitement, regardless of what it was for. That’s how she was most of the time. That’s how I knew her. And exactly why I fell in love with her. Hayley was fearless, with boundless energy and drive, but only to have fun. Only to entertain.

“In the few months we were together, we did everything, from skiing black diamond runs up at Whistler, to whitewater rafting on the White Salmon River, rally car racing out at Dirt Fish in Snoqualmie, even skydiving up in Snohomish. Now, I like to think I’m the adventurous type, but I barely had the nerve to do a tandem jump, and after I did, I never wanted to do it again. Like, ever. But Hayley? She went balls-out and did a solo static line dive. It was like she had to always push the limits just to feel alive, though, at the time, I didn’t know why. I never even suspected.”