Stirred with Love (32 page)

Kate had switched the gas fire on during her last inspection. Lily felt like a queen the way they made a fuss over her. It was more than she could have hoped for.

Her legs began to complain about the amount of time she’d been standing, so she forced herself to sit back down. The single chime from the clock announced that it was lunch time. Everyone would be busy downstairs, she thought. Maybe she’d have time to have a nap before they came to fuss over her again.

So much had happened to her over the past few weeks that she’d hardly had time to stop and think. But now, as her body was slowing down, it gave her the opportunity to realise how lucky she’d been. Lucky to have been blessed with a long and, for the most of it, healthy life, to have known such a wonderful man, even though the relationship had been far from perfect at times, lucky to have had the café and a good home. Although they’d never been rich, they had enjoyed a modest standard of living.

And Lily had been fortunate to find two young ladies who had given her so much joy during her last few months. It had been fun opening the coffee shop again, even though it had been hard work.

Still awake when Will knocked on the door an hour later, Lily beckoned him in.

‘‘Did you get in without being accosted?’ she asked him.

‘Well, I don’t have a knife in my back.’ Will gave her a shy smile. ‘I’m not Kate’s favourite man despite my intentions to keep the coffee shop open.’

‘So that is your plan, then?’

‘Yes.’ Will nodded. ‘It’s a credit to you how quickly you pulled it together.’

 ‘How
we
pulled it together,’ Lily corrected. ‘If it weren’t for Kate and Chloe, I’m not sure it would have been so successful.’

Will nodded. ‘Before I knocked the building down, I wanted to see if it could be incorporated. The plans were about to be changed.’

‘Why didn’t you come clean with Kate?’

‘Because she was right.’ Will shrugged. ‘I did originally come in to scope the building and business. I just hadn’t intended falling in love at the same time.’

His words made Lily smile widely.

‘The shop means a lot to me but I know it’s all about business and money nowadays. So it’s nice to hear that you have a heart. Anyway, sit down, please. I want to talk to you some more.’

Will took off his coat, placed it over the back of the settee and sat down. Lily waited for him to settle before she began.

‘I’d like you to sort things out with Kate,’ she told him.

Will sat back with a sigh. ‘She hasn’t been in touch since she found out who I am. I’ve tried ringing, texting, emailing. I even called in for coffee once but she’s not talking to me. She’s professional but nothing else. I missed my chance.’

Lily shook her head. ‘Nonsense. She’s hurting, that’s all. If you give her time, she’ll come around.’

‘I really did like her,’ he admitted. ‘A lot actually.’

Lily hoped her chat with Kate had left her wondering how things would have been if Will hadn’t made a mistake. And from his look of resignation, it seemed as if he was thinking the same thing.

‘Then
wait
for her,’ Lily encouraged. ‘That’s all I ask.’

‘I thought Lily might like these.’ Serle managed to catch Chloe before they locked up the coffee shop for the night. He held out a small bunch of flowers.

‘Thanks.’ Chloe took them from him.

‘You know, I’m useless at this sort of thing.’ He stood with his baseball cap in his hand as he bowed his head. ‘I thought –’

Quickly, Chloe gave the flowers back to him before running from the room in tears.

‘I’ll take them,’ Kate came hurrying over.

‘I didn’t mean to upset anyone,’ said Serle, obviously upset that he had.

‘She’s not coping at the moment,’ Kate explained. ‘People keep asking how Lily is all the time. If it’s not a regular who knows the situation, it’s someone who hasn’t seen her for a while and is genuinely asking after her welfare.’ She looked beyond Serle where Christmas cards hung over string arches. ‘There are so many greetings of goodwill arriving every day. We’ve hardly got anywhere left to put them. Her friend, Irene, is coming back from Australia soon but I’m not sure she’ll make it in time. Poor Alf sits at his table every afternoon, looking dejected, staring wistfully into space. There are reminders everywhere. We never seem to be able to switch off.’

 Serle tipped his head to one side. ‘How is she today?’

‘She’s had a rough night. I went in to her in the early hours, but you know Lily. She told me to go back to sleep. She’s still got all her faculties, thank goodness, but she’s getting weaker every day. There’s a 24 hour shift of nurses coming in from tomorrow morning. That will be a relief. I know I wouldn’t be able to cope without them.’

Chloe had been unimpressed when Kate had told her of Lily’s wishes to stay at home with outside help. ‘Nursing staff?’ She seemed puzzled. ‘Why would she want a nurse? We’ll be looking after her, won’t we?’

‘We’re not qualified,’ Kate said. ‘I’m having enough trouble looking after myself at the moment.’

‘We can learn,’ Chloe pleaded. ‘Lily will tell us what she needs.’

‘She might have to be fed through a tube. How would we do that? What about cleaning up when she’s made a mess? We wouldn’t know the right dosage for her painkillers and would you be able to administer an injection if she needed one?’

Chloe shrugged like a child who knew an adult was talking sense, before shaking her head in agreement.

‘Will Chloe be okay?’ Serle brought Kate back to the present.

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘We’ll get each other through it but I’m going to keep an eye on her. She hasn’t been to college for a couple of weeks. I think she’s finding it hard to concentrate. It’s a tough course, even without this kind of distraction.’

Serle took off his beanie hat and placed it on the counter. ‘Take it easy, Kate. You don’t have to worry for everyone.’

‘But I feel like I have to be Mrs Smiley all the time.’ Kate’s lower lip began to tremble. ‘It’s hard to be bright and cheerful to customers when all I can think about is Lily.’

‘Life goes on. She’d understand.’

Alf gently tapped on the living room door before pushing it open. Lily sat in the armchair by the window. Roughly half a dozen pillows propped her up and a patchwork quilt, made many years ago, covered her legs. Her eyes were now deep and dark hollows, saggy jowls hung down her colourless cheeks. Her skin had turned a sickly shade of grey, lips a slight tinge of blue. And, much to his dismay, her beautiful hair had hardly a curl.

As he moved quietly towards her, Alf was certain she didn’t know he was there and he hadn’t the heart to wake her. Looking down at the woman he’d loved for as long as he could remember, he didn’t feel sad. He knew she’d been keeping quiet for a long time about the pain she was suffering. She reminded him of a tatty, old rag doll, one that had stood the test of time. A reliable friend to share problems with. Loved and admired by everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her. And, he supposed, in a way she’d gone from rags to riches when she’d decided to open the coffee shop.

He sat down on the settee but half an hour later, Lily was still sleeping. He thought back to the conversation they’d had just the day before, when he’d taken coffee upstairs with her. ‘I want you and Irene to help the girls with my funeral,’ she’d told him. ‘They’re going to be upset when it happens and I’m sure they’d like you to help. I’ve arranged most of it already and it’s all paid for but I’d like you to oversee things.’

Despite his earlier misgivings, Alf was certain that Kate and Chloe were capable of looking after things. Lily would have nothing to worry about. But he had agreed to help, all the same.

He was going to miss her so much, more than he could ever disclose to anyone. Quietly, he got up and left the room, closing the door behind him. Lily was a tough old boot. He knew she wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

Kate had been nervous but pleased when Will rung again to suggest they meet, maybe go for a walk that weekend. This time she’d said yes and they’d arranged to meet on Sunday afternoon.

Rosie seemed oblivious to the gale force wind and the grey threatening sky as she ran ahead of them in the park. Gut feeling and her own eyes told Kate this was the last weekend that Lily would be around. Every hour she seemed to decline before them. Now that the nursing team had arrived and were at her side constantly, she felt that she could relax a little, knowing that everything was in hand. It was good to get some fresh air.

‘It must be great to be a dog,’ said Kate, falling into stride beside Will. ‘The only important thing in Rosie’s life is time. What time is she having her next feed, what time is she going for a walk?’

‘When was the last time she had a pee,’ will joked. ‘Can she hold it until her next pit stop?’

They followed the crazy paving path around the outskirts of the small lake whilst the wind battled with the branches on the trees. Kate caught her breath as a gust almost knocked her off her feet and she wondered if the reason why there weren’t too many people in the park that afternoon had something to do with the atrocious weather. More likely was the fact that there were less than two weeks to go before Christmas and most people would be shopping towards it. Kate hadn’t even begun to think about the holiday season – how could she with Lily’s death hanging over her like the stormy clouds above?

‘I wish we could do something to help ease Lily’s pain,’ she spoke moments later.

‘There’s nothing you can do,’ Will said calmly, ‘except be there.’

‘But that’s what I’m frightened of, Lily dying when I
am
there, that I’m going to go to pieces at the crucial moment. I don’t know if I’m strong enough.’

‘I wish I could find the right words to say, but I can’t. All I can talk about is my own experience, my own feelings. Death affects everyone in different ways. No one can predict how they’ll react until they lose someone close and, even then, it depends on who that person is and how the relationship has been while they were alive.’

Kate nodded slightly. ‘Were you with your mum when she died?’

‘Yes, it was tough, but I needed to be there. When she was dying, I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. Seeing her in so much pain was awful. But the doctor assured us that she was comfortable.’

‘Did she look any different?’ Kate felt ashamed but she was scared of seeing Lily’s dead body. She found it hard to believe that undertakers dressed them in their best clothes and made up their faces.

‘Half an hour before she died, they asked Dad and me to leave the room so that they could wash and change her. When we went back in, Mum was tucked in under clean sheets, wearing fresh nightwear and they’d brushed her hair. I’ll never forget that. The fact that she died a few minutes later didn’t deter them from making her look nice for us…and for her.

‘She died in her sleep,’ Will continued after a pause while he gazed across the lake, his eyes glistening. ‘I remember noticing how blue her hands were. I held on to one and my dad held the other. She took a few final breaths and then…nothing.’

Kate touched him lightly on his arm. ‘I’m sorry.’

Will sniffed. ‘What for? It was one of the best moments in my life, one that I’ll never forget. Morbid I know, but it was such a personal time.’

‘How’s your dad doing?’

Will took Rosie’s lead out of his coat pocket as he noticed a black Labrador in the distance. ‘He’s good,’ he told her. ‘I don’t get to see him too often. But I’m thinking of moving nearer to him again.’

Kate felt a flush of warmth ripple through her body and decided to take Lily’s advice.

‘Does that mean you’ll be around to take me out on the odd occasion, now that you don’t have to use me anymore?’ she teased, blowing away strands of hair stuck to her lipstick.

‘Maybe.’ Will treated Kate to that wonderful smile of his. With a huge sigh of relief, he pulled her into his arms and planted a kiss on the tip of her nose.

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

When Kate opened the seventeenth day of Rosie’s advent calendar and flicked the square of chocolate to her, it had been over a week since Lily had set foot in the coffee shop, in fact, since she’d been downstairs at all. Every time she saw her fragile figure, Kate had the overwhelming urge to hug her, to squeeze her, but she didn’t dare in case she hurt her. Lily had always been small but there was hardly anything left of her now.

Kate sat down on the chair they’d put beside Lily’s bed. Although the room was hot, she could feel the cold right through to her bones. She hugged herself to get warm, all the time thinking about death, about the time when Lily would say goodbye instead of goodnight.

Lily stirred in her sleep and moved her head slightly. ‘Kate?’ she whispered. ‘Kate, will you look after everything for me?’

Kate moved closer. ‘Yes, of course.’

Lily managed to open her eyes a little and slowly brought her hand up to touch Kate’s cheek. Kate blinked away more tears. It shocked her to feel the touch – as cold as hers, but for a very different reason.

‘I don’t want you to worry…when the time comes…for me to leave you…’

Kate wanted to push Lily but was afraid it would do her more harm than good. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she lied, nodding vehemently.

When Lily closed her eyes again, Kate wondered if that was the last time she’d hear her speak. She wondered if she’d even last out the day.

But Lily did manage to last out the day, and the following night too, although she hadn’t opened her eyes since Lucy had kissed her goodbye just after midnight. Dr Warren, Lily’s GP, had said she would, in all probability, go peacefully in her sleep. The oxygen cylinder that she was attached to was helping her to breathe and, no matter how much Kate wanted her to talk, they were to leave her to rest.

Now, just after three am, Chloe was asleep, wrapped up in her quilt and lying on Lily’s ottoman at the foot of her bed. Even curled up in a ball, her knees overhung. Kate looked towards the door as Tracey, the nurse on the night shift brought in two mugs of tea.

She sipped at her drink while she thought of how it was just over seven months since she’d arrived at Somerley. Back then, she’d thought she was grown up at thirty-two, but really she was as immature and vulnerable as that nine year old child on the day that her father had walked out. Kate hadn’t realised how insecure it had made her. Nick was forever moaning about it during every argument, but she’d thought it was said in the heat of the moment. How could she be insecure? She was married, managed to run a home and pay the bills without falling into masses of debt and she held down a responsible job.