Stirred with Love (33 page)

But, now she’d had time to get away from the situation and cope with day to day life on her own, she’d realised how dependent she’d become of Nick, how she’d let him control her. Not in a direct way – he never told her what to wear and she had money if she ever wanted to buy anything – but because she was scared of being without him. The failed relationship with her father had made her understand that she’d never felt safe unless she was with a man of her own.

Although she hadn’t realised it at the time and had looked at the move as a chance to get away from Nick, coming to Somerley had been the best thing that she could have done. It had taught her that she
could
live without a man, that she
was
capable of doing so, and that, when she did eventually settle down again – maybe even with Will – she would be an equal. Lily had given her the strength to get through any situation – look what she did in the face of death when she’d lost her husband, her soul mate.

Kate gently picked up Lily’s hand and held it in her own. She wanted her to respond, to say, ‘for goodness’ sake, child, stop trying to squeeze the life out of me’. But she knew there was no hope of that.

They’d closed the coffee shop today as a mark of respect. Kate couldn’t believe they would never share another breakfast meeting downstairs. She’d miss the way Lily always had to have a cup of tea before she’d discuss anything. She’d miss the way their boss was always present, mostly listening, but letting them make their own mistakes, guiding them if they went off course. A professional chairperson as they all called her. And she was about to leave them.

But, tomorrow they would think about the future. For now, Kate’s time and thoughts belonged with Lily.

Even though her mind was just about working, Lily couldn’t remember when she had last found the strength to open her eyes. Every breath that she took felt like her chest was going to explode and she had some sort of straps across her face, irritating her skin. Her body must be drugged for she felt no pain – just overwhelming exhaustion.

For one last time, she wanted to look at her girls. Finding Kate and Chloe to help her after Bernard’s death had been a godsend and she couldn't believe her time with them was fading fast. She knew they’d cope without her. They thought they weren’t strong enough but she knew better.

She felt someone wipe a cloth across her forehead and relished the dampness on her flushed skin. She was hot, yet cold, frightened, yet peaceful. It felt surreal, she wanted to die, yet she didn’t want to leave them yet.

But Bernard would be waiting for her.

With all the strength she had left, Lily willed her eyes to work. The light stung as she turned her head but she couldn’t lift a hand quick enough to shield them. Instead, she lay until she could see and thanked the Lord that it was night, and that the room was dimly lit by the lamp at her side.

Straight ahead, she could just make out a person, wearing a pale blue top and dark trousers. At the bottom of the bed, she saw Chloe, her neck hanging at an awkward angle. Lily would remember her as a porcelain doll – beautiful, fair skinned with enchanting eyes. Another push and she turned her head slightly to catch sight of Kate. Lily would remember her as a fine piece of collectible china – delicate, irreplaceable and precious.

She didn’t want to leave them but she knew it wouldn’t be long now. And at least her plan had worked.
One lone tear trickled down her face as she mouthed her goodbyes.

It was three hours later when Chloe awoke. She sat up, pulled down her legs and stretched her arms above her head. Lily didn’t look as though she’d moved all night. It was strange to think that only the day before she’d squeezed Chloe’s hand and managed a weak smile. Now she looked as if there was no energy left inside her. Perhaps there wasn’t.

The sound of the doorbell in the distance broke into her thoughts.

Kate woke up with a start. ‘What time is it?’ she looked across the room.

‘Half past six. I think the nurses are doing a switch. Shall we go into the living room until they’ve finished?’

An hour later, Chloe knocked quietly on Lily’s bedroom door. ‘Can I come in?’ she asked the nurse as she stood on the threshold.

The nurse nodded. ‘Yes, you can have a few minutes with her, if you like.’

Chloe gasped as she drew level with Lily. Her colour had paled significantly. Even attached to the oxygen cylinder, her breathing had rapidly deteriorated. She reminded her of an old engine running out of steam.

Fighting her feelings, she took Lily’s hand in her own. ‘I don’t want to go without saying goodbye but I don’t want to be here when...when…oh, Lily, I’m going to miss you so much. I want you to know that I’ve been really happy since I came to Somerley. I love working here. I love Kate and Lucy. And I love you. Why do you have to go so soon? I’ve only just got to know you. Please don’t leave us yet.’

She tried to calm her tears, even though she couldn’t help thinking that Lily had already gone. Could Lily hear what she was saying or was there only a body left in the bed? Had her soul gone to Heaven already?

‘Say hello to my mum for me,’ Chloe whispered, giving Lily’s cold hand one last squeeze. ‘Tell her that I miss her so much. Tell her that I’ve been a good girl. Tell her....tell her...’

Chloe broke down again and placed her head on the bed. ‘Why did this have to happen now?’

With less than a week to go until Christmas Day, Lily sensed that Bernard was waiting for her. She pawed at the oxygen mask, it came away effortlessly and her eyes opened with ease. He stood at the bottom of the bed, looking every bit as handsome as she remembered in his black suit. Lily couldn’t remember him looking so well for a good while.

Without difficulty, she found that she could sit up. She reached out to him and he came to her side. Sitting on the edge of her bed, he leaned forward to gently touch her face. Lily felt her heart melt. It was so good to see him at last.

Bernard’s face broke out into a smile and as he pulled her into his arms, Lily closed her eyes for the very last time.

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

Dear Kate and Chloe,

It doesn’t seem right for me to give you individual letters because I care about you equally. When I first met you, I had an idea. A plan you might say. Call me stupid, if you please. I mean, how many women would want to start again after working hard all their lives? Surely I should have been slowing down? Because you see, I knew I was dying.

I knew I didn’t have long to live when Bernard died and I didn’t want to die alone. I chose you two because you each seemed to have a little of me in you. Kate, you are strong, yet sensitive. Someone I could rely on at all times. Chloe, well, you filled me with youth and hope that everything would go my way.

There wasn’t a day that passed when I didn’t think of Bernard and how different things might have been. But then I wouldn’t have met you two. You both gave my failing hope such a boost and showered me with love and affection. You helped me through my darkest months. I was alone for a time after his death and I hated it. Every day, I would walk into that desolate cafe and think of better times. I very nearly sold it all. But you made it work for me. Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to hand The Coffee Stop over to you both.

My plan was to find someone to share my last days with. Once I’d found someone that I could trust, who had the interests of my business at heart, I felt that I could die in peace. I didn’t want to leave everything I’d worked hard towards to someone who wouldn’t care. I also wanted to leave something of myself behind in a new establishment. I know it sounds like a strange idea but my initial proposal was to choose one person from three. Luckily for me, I never found a third person because I could never have chosen between the two of you. ’

Kate, I want you to know that I have seen a confident woman appear over the past few months and she is a wonderful person. You accepted a challenge and you have helped to make The Coffee Stop such a huge success. I’m very grateful for your help and support, even through your heartache. True love and happiness will find you again. Maybe even with a certain Mr Taylor?

Chloe, I know you will be hurting. You’re bound to be after coping with your mother’s death at such an early age, the memories are sure to come flooding back. I only hope it isn’t too painful. Forgive me if it is.

Keep up the studying and don’t you worry about Jack. He can’t be right for you if he can hurt you like that. Life’s too short, Chloe. Find yourself a young man and live a little first. And if it doesn’t work out, you always have the luxury of tomorrow.

Now, first things first. Before the funeral, I want you two to concentrate on getting into the Christmas spirit. I know you won’t feel like looking forward to the New Year but it’ll help take your mind off things. And don’t be afraid to look in the bottom of my wardrobe. I’m sure you’ll find that Santa has come early to the coffee shop.

Just a finishing note to tell you that my solicitor, Mr Stead, will be expecting your call. It will only be an informal meeting, there’s nothing for you to worry about.

Take care for now. I will always be close, even though you can’t see me. Just pretend I am in the next room, watching over you.

Please don’t grieve for me because part of me will always be there with you. We had a special bond, in such a short time. I love you like you were my own daughters.

Thank you for making me happy.

God bless,

Lily

Kate walked the few streets to the park in a daze, praying that she wouldn’t bump into anyone she knew. She’d brought along Rosie for comfort but the dog wanted to play. The park almost deserted, she let her off the lead. It was only three o’ clock in the afternoon, but already the dark was starting to obscure her view.

At the entrance to the play area, she pulled her collar close for further protection against the bitter cold wind and sat down on a swing. She swayed to and fro, the cold wind swirling around her, as she thought of Lily.

It had still been such a shock when she’d died. Kate had been sitting with Chloe at the side of the bed. Irene and Alf had been there too. It had been surreal, waiting for that last, closing breath. Lily would gasp for air and there would be nothing for what seemed like forever. Then, through watery eyes, Kate had watched her attempt to grab life one more time, then another. At eleven thirty-three, Lily had finally found peace.

It would have been wonderful to have known her longer, Kate thought, remembering how Chloe had fallen into her arms and they’d cried together for a while. Things would be strange without Lily there to watch over them, but Kate knew that no matter what the future held, she and Chloe would stick together. Their family unit would just be one less.

Would she find true love and happiness with Will, she wondered, smiling through fresh tears as she recalled Lily’s written words. Two nights ago, knowing his Dad would be out, Will had taken her to his family home. They’d sat on the settee, with the glow of the gas fire their only light. It had felt right to slip onto the carpet and make love with the curtains closed to the world. It had been slow, tender and one of the most passionate times she would ever share with him. She’d cried afterwards. For Lily, for their loss, for her pain. As Will had wrapped his arms around her, she’d realised that they might have something special – no one can profess to know what the future holds, but Kate knew once she’d felt that way about Nick and hadn’t appreciated it. This time she wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

Dragging her foot in the sand as she swayed in the wind, she looked up towards the darkening sky. Kate had trouble believing in the after life, but if there was such a thing she knew they’d be together. Bernard would be with Lily now.

It was meant to be.

Had to be, surely?

Chloe sat huddled in Lily’s favourite armchair, the letter in her lap. Lily was right about what she’d written. Memories of her mum had come flooding back, but those weren’t crowding her mind right now. Chloe was overwhelmed by the loss of Lily.

She didn’t have to think hard to understand why she had loved her so much. The things that she’d done for her were vast and varied. She’d listened to her endless wittering on about anything and everything, teased her about Kate being more popular with the men after the diva had passed on
her
tricks of the trade, watched
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
without complaining.

She remembered how a cup of tea would go further than an apology, how Lily would always stick up for Kate when she was in the right and try to show her things from a different perspective. Chloe knew she was right about Jack too. In the back of her mind, she’d always known he was too old for her. It had been a tough lesson to learn but she was getting over it now. She was going to slow down and grow old in her own time – Kate said she’d be knocking
off
years to make herself feel better soon.

But the main thing that Chloe had become conscious of was that, sometime during the past few months, she had grown up. Her childish tantrums and bitchy comments had slowly disappeared. She’d learned to accept Maddy’s relationship with her dad. She’d made Lucy’s life hell for a while, until she’d realised she’d got her completely wrong, and she’d found a special friendship, an everlasting union of sisterly strength with Kate.

And, all at once, she realised that she wouldn’t have done any of that without Lily giving her the opportunity to work at the coffee shop.

Chloe blew her nose loudly. It was going to be so tough without Lily.

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

As ‘
Do they know it’s Christmas’
played in the background of the coffee shop, Kate held onto her head with a grimace. She felt so rough.