Stockings and Cellulite (22 page)

I stared at Ploddy – Jamie. ‘You are
Mac
?’

‘Mac is a shortening of my surname. A nickname if you will. I don’t mind what you call me,’ he shrugged, ‘so long as it’s not Mr Pitt.’

I flushed.

‘Who’s Mr Pitt?’ Matt asked.

‘I haven’t the faintest idea.’

‘How about a nice drink?’ I changed the subject with forced gaiety and lunged at a jug of ruby liquid on the garden table. ‘Mm Pimms, delicious. Cheers everyone!’

I took an enormous swig of the fruit and mint concoction just as the twins erupted into the garden closely followed by Petra and Jonas. I sent up a silent prayer of thanks for the distraction of children.

‘Dad we’re starving. Is the barbecue ready yet?’

I reeled. Petra and Jonas belonged to Jamie? He in turn was staring at the twins.

‘But I’ve seen Liv and Toby on numerous occasions at the stables. I’ve even let them ride my kids’ pony.’ Jamie scratched his head in bemusement. ‘I had no idea you were their mother.’

At that moment Petra gave me an odd look, as though seeing me for the first time. ‘I’ve just remembered why you look so familiar.’

‘Oh?’ I suddenly felt horribly nervous.

‘Yeah, it’s coming back to me now. You were in the field the other week with Matt. That’s right. You were running around in the noddy and Matt was chasing you,’ she started to laugh. ‘God it was seriously funny. We were all killing ourselves in the yard,’ she broke off to clutch her sides. ‘And Matt was slapping your bottom… ah ha ha ha!’ she doubled up with mirth. ‘And your backside was wobbling all over the place,’ she grabbed her buttocks and jiggled them about while snorting and gasping for breath. ‘And then you fell flat on your face and your bum was
still
wobbling even when the rest of you had stopped moving.’

The only sound now was of Petra’s raucous laughter as she staggered about hugging her torso, clearly at the painfully funny stage of hysterics.

‘How
dare
you tell such filthy lies about my mother,’ Toby spat and launched himself at Petra.

The two children crashed to the floor and instantly began pummelling each other. A moment later Jamie was on to them, yanking both children to their feet.

‘ENOUGH!’ he bawled.

Toby was white faced and thin lipped with rage, his fists clenched impotently by his sides.

‘My mother doesn’t run around in the noddy,’ he hissed furiously.

‘And she hasn’t got a wobbly bottom either,’ Livvy piped up indignantly.

‘A wasp went up my trousers,’ I explained hoarsely. ‘Stripping was the only option.’

‘Oh God I’m so sorry,’ Petra was mortified. ‘I didn’t mean to make fun. I had no idea it was something so frightening.’

‘Right you two,’ Jamie said. ‘Shake hands. I’m not having any bad feeling.’

Within seconds the children had dismissed the matter in the way only children ever do and disappeared inside the house for Cola.

‘Okay,’ Matt grinned, ‘enough drama. Let’s have those fillet steaks!’

Any lingering awkwardness was instantly dispelled. The food was delicious and the drink flowed. In due course the children peeled off to the stables. Jamie, possibly because of his daughter’s earlier faux-pas, seemed to go out of his way to be attentive company and I felt myself warming to him more and more. He made me laugh and I began to feel so at ease with him I started to suspect something was going on between us – and it was something I liked.

It also became apparent that Morag was extremely taken with Matt. She flirted outrageously and eventually bullied him into a guided tour of the stables, leaving Jamie and I alone together. We sat companionably in the low afternoon sun, watching the broadening shadows. Eventually Jamie got up and refreshed our glasses.

‘So. You and Matt?’

‘Friends,’ I replied firmly.

Jamie took a sip of his drink. ‘He’s a great guy. We’ve been pals for more years than I care to recall.’

I remembered with a jolt that Matt had talked about knowing Jamie since school days. How he’d gone through the grief process with Jamie when his wife had died so suddenly. I cleared my throat.

‘Matt told me that you were a widower.’

Jamie contemplated his glass for a moment. ‘Yeah,’ he pulled a face. ‘Did he tell you about Philly?’

‘No,’ I lied, not wishing for Jamie to think Matt indiscreet. ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

‘Sure, why not.’ Jamie paused for a moment, seeming to pick his words with care. ‘I lost Philly four years ago. Nearly lost my mind too. Matt was brilliant. Along with my family, he was instrumental in shouldering a lot of grief.’

I didn’t know what to say for a moment. I’d lost my husband but the circumstances were very different in that Stevie was still alive. My loss wasn’t remotely comparable to this man’s.

‘Philly had an undetected heart condition.’

‘How awful,’ I murmured.

‘I can still remember that morning so clearly, like a film running through my head. We’d just made love,’ he shrugged apologetically. ‘Philly’s hair was all tousled. She’d smiled at me and said she was going to have a shower. Moments later the shower sprayed into life, the water drumming against the glass door. It was a Sunday morning and I hadn’t felt any need to get up and start rushing about. So I’d flopped back down on the mattress and drifted into a light sleep. Thirty minutes later I’d opened my eyes to hear the shower still running. In that moment, instinctively, I knew something wasn’t right.’

I stared at Jamie, transfixed. ‘What did you do?’

‘I called her name. There was no reply. The shower was still tapping a beat against the glass door. I hauled myself off the bed and called her name again feeling a terrible sense of foreboding. When Philly still didn’t respond I levered the door handle down. Clouds of steam enveloped my vision and for a moment I just stood blindly in all this fog. And then the draft from the open door tugged at the steam, pulling pockets of it apart. Philly was slumped in the shower base, her legs curled awkwardly to one side. Her head was resting uncomfortably against the shower door and a curtain of wet hair hid her face. For a moment I was paralysed with shock and couldn’t move. Then I lunged forward, tearing at the door. Philly sprawled across the bathroom floor. God I’ll never forget that moment for as long as I live. Her hair fell back from her face like wet seaweed and suddenly I was staring into dead eyes.’

Jamie’s voice momentarily caught and I automatically stretched my hand across and touched his. He caught hold of it. Curled it into his palm.

‘Coming to terms with it was … difficult. I saw her face all the time. I’d walk into a room and see her profile in the print of a wallpaper pattern, or the silhouette of her body in rumpled bedclothes. It drove me mad. Couples who had been friends felt awkward. After a while they avoided me. Apart from Matt.’

‘He’s a nice guy,’ I murmured.

‘Oh he’s that all right,’ Jamie nodded. ‘My children were bereft and I’m not proud to admit that I was no help to them in the beginning. Matt saw Petra and Jonas every day. Bullied them into coming to the stables and got them riding which acted like a kind of therapy for them. It took a good couple of years for Petra and Jonas to become the carefree children they are now.’

A silence fell between us for a minute or two.

‘And what was your therapy?’ I eventually asked.

‘Mine?’ Jamie gave a mirthless laugh. ‘Oh for a while I was an embittered ranting lunatic. But life with all its harshness goes on doesn’t it? It’s a case of get over it and get on with it. Either that or give up. Throw in the towel. But you can’t wallow forever when you have two children to care for. So my kids ultimately got me back on track. I’m good now.’

I was very aware that my hand was still within his. He made no attempt to release it. Suddenly I wanted the moment to never end. Right then I could have sat in Matt’s garden and held Jamie’s hand until the end of time.

‘Enough of my heavy talk. What about you? Still going for divorce?’

‘Oh yes. I’ll keep the married name though –
Cherry
is prettier than my maiden name.’

‘Well don’t leave me guessing,’ Jamie teased and squeezed my hand. ‘What was your maiden name?’

‘Haddock,’ I grinned ruefully. ‘At school I was called Fish Face.’

‘Ah,’ Jamie nodded sympathetically. There was a small pause. ‘So how did you get on at the speed dating gig? Did you find anybody?’

‘Oh that. No,’ I gazed at my drink miserably. ‘I’m giving up the dating game. Can’t seem to work out the rules. And you?’

‘The person I was interested in didn’t tick my box.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I haven’t given up hoping that she might change her mind though.’

I carefully removed my hand from Jamie’s. It didn’t seem appropriate to continue letting him hold it now that he was expressing interest in somebody else.

‘Are you hoping for a reunion with your female colleague?’

Jamie looked startled. “Selina? Good Lord no! Actually, the lady I was referring to is somebody I’ve liked for quite some time. I’ve been bumping into her on and off for several months now. I wanted to ask her out ages ago but I wasn’t sure whether she was single in the true sense of the word. She gave me the impression at one point that there was another guy on the scene.’

‘She sounds a bit flighty,’ I sniffed.

Jamie laughed out loud. ‘Really? I don’t suspect she’s that at all. More,’ he considered, ‘completely unaware how captivating she is and sorely lacking in self-esteem. As a result she needs handling carefully. A kid glove approach.’

I nodded miserably thinking that I wouldn’t mind a bit of the kid glove approach myself.

‘Cassie?’ Jamie shifted in his chair. Was it my imagination or was he giving me a smouldering look? If I wasn’t feeling so deflated I’d have attempted a few smoulders back. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t worked it out. I’m talking about-’

At that precise moment Morag and Matt returned in high spirits. Morag seemed to be fizzing and bubbling all over the place.

‘Ooh Cass this naughty man is utterly de
light
ful,’ she cooed. ‘I think I’ll have to marry him.’

Matt roared with laughter. ‘Lovely lady, I would be delighted to have you as the fourth Mrs Harding.’

Morag seemed to find this terribly funny and screeched with laughter. Jamie set about attending refills and finding a soft drink for me while Matt broached the subject of holidays. Now this was a subject I could definitely get enthusiastic about! Excitedly I joined in and told everybody about the impending Benalmadena trip.

‘Pretty place,’ commented Jamie. ‘I’ve been there. Where are you staying?’

‘The Garden Apartments.’

‘But I know them! They’re up a bit of a steep hill but still close enough to the sea. It’s a quiet residential road – no yobs.’

I sighed with relief. ‘The travel agent said I was very lucky to get the booking – there were only two apartments left.’

‘Were there now,’ Jamie murmured. ‘When did you say you were going?’

‘Third week of July. Not long to go now,’ I smiled happily.

Evening came. It was still light but rapidly cooling down so we moved inside.

‘I’m feeling hungry again,’ Morag complained.

‘Who fancies a takeaway and a movie?’ Matt asked.

The children melted off to another room with an assortment of Matt’s children and step-children to watch their own choice of movie while the adults grouped around Matt’s prized fifty inch big screen, eventually with vindaloos balanced on knees.

A couple of hours later Jamie called out to Petra and Jonas.

‘Come on kids, it’s late.’

I got up too. It was way past the twins’ usual bed time.

Matt gave Jamie and I big bear hugs as he said good-bye. I suddenly realised that, despite Morag standing in the hallway, she wasn’t actually saying farewell.

‘I’m not coming with you,’ she mouthed to me.

‘What do you mean?’ I mouthed back.

Morag took me to one side while the twins provided a noisy diversion looking for trainers. ‘I’m staying the night with Matt.’

‘Bit soon isn’t it?’

‘At our age Cass, life is too short not to dive into things head first. I’ll be round for my car tomorrow and will give you a postmortem of what Matt was like in bed.’

Oh God.

Finally all the children had their belongings. They ran ahead of us as Jamie and I walked to our respective cars. He touched my arm causing such a jolt of electricity I almost rocketed out of my skin.

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump. I just wanted to say that it was really good to see you this evening,’ he smiled.

We came to a halt by my car. ‘Oh and it was absolutely marvellous to see you too,’ I gushed and then instantly cringed. Steady Cass. Jamie took a step closer and brushed his lips lightly against my cheek. For an awful moment I thought my knees were going to give way. Jonas let out a low wolf whistle.

Jamie grinned. ‘Kids eh?’

My cheek sizzled and scorched all the way home.

‘Mum?’ Toby asked as we drove along. ‘Isn’t Matt your boyfriend any more?’

‘Matt was and still is my friend Toby. But I think he could be Morag’s new boyfriend.’

‘Are you upset?’

‘No. Why should I be?’

‘Well, I thought you wanted a boyfriend and to fall in love and everything,’ he shrugged.

‘If you are referring to that little chat we had a while ago, I said I’d
like
to fall in love again
one day
, but that doesn’t mean to say it will ever happen and I certainly wasn’t anticipating Matt to be The One.’

Toby looked thoughtful. ‘What about Jamie? He’s really nice. Why don’t you go out with him?’

Yes why didn’t I? The day had been nothing short of wonderful culminating in a delightful evening spent in the company of a man who I had felt increasingly drawn to. I genuinely clicked with him on a deep level. Jamie had bared his soul to me in the garden talking about his dead wife, discussing immensely personal and private feelings. I suspected he didn’t talk like that to any old Tom, Dick or Harry. And there had been something else, something unspoken, those nuances of body language that I’d initially interpreted as flirting. There was no doubt about it, Jamie made my heart race. Even now my cheek was still burning from that kiss. But, confusingly, he’d mentioned the speed dating gig and gone on to talk about another woman he was interested in. Apparently not Selina, but nonetheless somebody else. I sighed.