Stone Cold (22 page)

I realized I was still holding on to his shirt like a little kid who was afraid to get lost in a crowd. “Sorry,” I said, unwadding my grip and letting my hand fall to my side.

“It's okay.” He tipped his head down just a bit to catch my gaze. “It's nice to be missed.”

Ah, Terric,
I thought.
You don't know the half of it.

“You were,” I said. “Missed. Place went to hell without you.”

“I can see that. You're wearing a monkey shirt. A very yellow monkey shirt.”

“I'll be killing Sid for that later,” I said.

“See,” Cody said, “I told you it would work, Shame.”

“What would work?” Terric asked.

I threw Cody a dirty look, but he hadn't been intimidated by me since . . . well, never.

“It's nothing,” I said. “You know how Cody is.”

“Shame killed you,” Cody said.

I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, exhaled the flash of anger. “Goddamn it, Miller.”

“Killed me,” Terric said. “Shame?”

He thought it was a joke. Probably because Cody was the one who had said it and Cody hadn't always been the most reliable guy back in the day.

I lowered my gaze until I was looking Terric straight in the eye. “Cody's telling the truth. You were barely alive. He thought the Life magic in you wouldn't let you go, but wasn't strong enough to bring you back either. Maybe coma, maybe just years of dying, suffering . . .”

I cleared my throat. “So I did. I . . . killed you. I let Death take you down.”

“You killed me,” he said flatly.

“Yes.”

“And that's what brought you back,” Cody said. “Death triggered Life magic to put you back together, to raise you from the ashes. You crazy Soul Complement kids can break all the magic rules.”

“All right,” Terric said slowly. “Fine. I'm alive. But if you killed me, then you owe me. Big-time, Flynn.”

“Anything,” I said.

He took a couple of steps back and ran his hand over his hair, dislodging tendrils that fell over his eyes. “That”—he pointed at me—“officially freaks me out.”

“What?” I said.

“Not that you look like a skeleton, have bruises and burns and cuts . . . everywhere and you don't seem to feel them. Not that I've never seen you look so burned out, raw, on the edge.”

“Then what?” I asked again.

“How long have I been dead?”

“Not long.”

“Really? You've never given in so quickly on anything, Shame.
Anything
. You always put up a fight over every last damn detail of every last damn thing. And . . . and now you instantly promise me anything I want to make up for something you did, no questions asked? How long have I been dead?”

“Too. Damn. Long,” I whispered.

I didn't think I'd ever surprised him into silence before.

Maybe because I rarely told him the truth. Maybe because he could feel my pain.

“Okay,” he finally said. “It's okay.”

“So, are we good here?” Cody asked. “Because I am starving.” He motioned for us to follow him out of the room.

“Why are we at the Den?” Terric asked.

“Well, there was a madman killing innocent people we needed to stop,” Cody said.

I knew he wasn't talking about Eli; he was talking about me. I would have flipped him off, but he was right. I had been out of control, out of my mind.

But now that Terric was alive, the Death magic that twisted and turned inside me was easier to control.

“Madman,” Terric said. “He means you, doesn't he?”

“Shut up,” I said, then, “Yes.”

“Who did you kill?” Terric asked.

“A lot of people,” I said. “But that isn't what matters.”

We left the bunk room and made our way out into the main area.

Dash leaned against the back of one of the couches, arms crossed over his chest, looking our way.

Jack and Bea were on the other side of the room, also on their feet, Jack's arm around Bea's shoulders.

“It matters,” Dash said. “Tell us, Shame. If we're going to deal with the fallout, we need to know where it's coming from.”

“Food?” Cody said to Terric.

Terric looked at me, then at Cody and Dash. “I'm good.” Then: “This won't be the first time I've heard Shame catch hell for some idiot thing he's done. Go ahead.”

“Standing right here,” I said.

“All right,” Dash said. “Tell us.”

All eyes on me. “I killed the people in the warehouse, gunmen,” I said, “the six drones at the door.” I took a breath, then, “I killed Mina and Sunny.”

“Sunny?” Terric said. “Shit, Shame.”

“Was it an accident?” Dash asked. He sounded hopeful.

“Not really. Death wanted them dead.” I could tell them I'd tried to stop it, tried not to hurt them, but nothing I would say could excuse what I'd done.

“And where were you while Death was getting what it wanted?” Terric asked.

I looked over at him. Didn't know how to say I was there, but broken. Didn't know how to tell him that his death had been more than I could shoulder, and I had fucked everything up without him. Didn't know how to say coming back to life might have been the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

I didn't have to tell him any of that. Damaged memory or not, he knew me. Knew the guilt and other crap that crowded all my corners.

Jack, who lingered with Bea near the windows, whistled low. “Always knew you'd go Hannibal Lecter one of these days, Flynn. Sorry I'm here to see it.”

“Then don't be here,” I suggested.

He easily had a decade on me but was smoked down to a tough, leathery finish. Not the kind of man any sane person would pick a fight with. He gave me a steady look, sizing up a target he'd be shooting at soon.

Yeah, good luck with that.

“Is there anything else we need to know?” Terric asked.

“Eli's in town,” I said. “Eli Collins. He wants us dead. Zay and Allie too.”

“Zay and . . . who?” Terric said.

“Wow,” Cody muttered. “You really did get your noggin scrambled.”

“First,” Dash said, “the current emergency. That's you, Shame. How out of control are you?”

“As compared to what?”

“Full-tilt serial killer.”

“Pretty sure I can keep a lid on that.”

“Pretty sure?” Jack said.

“I'm good right now. Better,” I said. “It's all you're going to get from me, Dash. I'll do what I can.”

“We can't just take your word for it,” he said. “I'm sorry, but our friends died while you were doing what you could to stay in control.”

“I'll watch him,” a new voice said.

Davy Silvers paced into the room. He wore clean jeans and a T-shirt, his hair cut short and damp from a shower. The blue light that had been leaking out of him back at the house was gone. From how the T-shirt caught at his ribs and stomach, he was wrapped in a lot of cotton and gauze.

There used to be a time I'd describe him as a laid-back surfer dude. Not now. The words that better fit him were
simmering violence
and maybe
psychotic break
.

“I don't think that's a working solution,” Dash said.

“I'll be working.” Davy's gaze was locked on me even though he was talking to Dash. “Watching him. I'll stop him if he kills. Or anything.”

“We're all on the same side here,” Dash said in a calm tone.

“Right,” Davy said. “Sunny's dead. How did that happen, Shame?”

“Davy,” Dash said.

“It's okay,” I said to Dash. “He's right. You watch me, Davy. You take your shot anytime you think you have it.”

“Shame,” Terric said. “This isn't how we handle this.”

“There's a way we handle this?” I said. “We've never even dealt with this before. I'm walking death. You've been half Closed and killed. And Davy here, he's . . .”

“He's what?” Davy asked quietly.

“I don't know,” I said honestly. “But you've been under Eli's knife, just like Terric. That worries me. What do you think he did to you for his gain? What loopholes do you think he carved into you? It should worry you.”

“Yeah, that's right,” Davy said. “I'm the problem here.”

“No,” I said.

“The problem,” Cody interrupted, “is we're standing around talking when we should be getting lunch. Or breakfast.”

“Our problems are Eli,” I said, “and Krogher and his drones.”

Davy swallowed hard, his hands curling up into fists. He gave me a very short nod.

Well, at least the guy who wanted to kill me agreed we both wanted to kill other people first.

I saw what Sunny saw in the guy.

SHAME

Cody clapped his hands. “Now that that's
not
settled, let's eat. Bea, Jack, is there any food in this place?”

“Aw,” Bea said, “just when things were getting interesting.” She ducked out from under Jack's arm, then caught his hand and made him walk with her into the kitchen. “Don't you boys kill each other while we're gone, okay?”

Cody chuckled and followed them.

“So, why don't we deal with the real problem?” Terric said as he strolled over to a recliner near the window. He sat with the kind of ease of someone who had Life magic in his bones, and was therefore fully healed. “Eli and Krogher. What do we know?”

Born leader, that man.

I glanced at Dash, who had pulled off his glasses and was rubbing at the corners of his eyes. He was exhausted, pale from pain, and painkillers, and too damn much death and shooting and killing in the last twenty-four hours.

When he pushed away from the back of the couch, he limped, that thigh wound still giving him hell.

“What we know,” he said as he sat on the couch, “is that Shame said Eli's heartbeat was in Portland. Near St. Johns.”

“You can tell that?” Terric asked.

I nodded.

“We don't think Eli knows we're in town,” Dash said. “But he knows where Allie and Zay live.”

I paced over to a window to one side of Terric, pushed the blind aside with my finger. Morning now, all sunlight and happy skies.

“Every Hound in town has their ear to the ground,” Dash said. “Jack and Bea were very careful to leave trails away from this place. If Eli is hunting for you, Shame—he's taking his time.”

“Who says he's hunting for me? He's looking for Allie and Zay. To kill them.”

“They haven't seen any sign of him.”

“Has she had the baby yet?” I asked.

“Baby?” Terric asked. “Wait. Zayvion's having a baby? With . . . Who's Allie?”

I pressed the heel of my hand over the headache in my temple. Lord. This amnesia crap was only fun in the movies.

“She's his Soul Complement,” Dash said. “I'll check in with them again.” He pushed up onto his feet, exhaling on a soft groan, and pulled a phone from his pocket. Then he paced over to where Davy had stalked off to on the other side of room.

“So,” Terric said to me, “Chase and Zay obviously didn't work out. Chase is . . . ?”

“She's dead,” I said.

“Ah,” Terric closed his eyes as if I'd just punched him in the chest.

Dash put his hand on Davy's shoulder and guided him to the collection of couches where he could sit and still keep me in his line of sight.

Sunny floated over to stand near Davy. She just looked sad.

“I'm sorry,” I said to Terric. “It was a long time ago.”

He pointed at his head. “Really sloppy work. Lots of holes.”

“Do you have any idea who Closed you?” I asked.

He stared off in the distance for a minute. Processing Chase's death, maybe sorting through memories. He tipped his palms, then folded his fingers together loosely in his lap. “There's a lot of people who could have done it, right?”

“No,” I said. “Not really. Magic's changed since the old days. It's not easy to power those kinds of big spells anymore. Soul Complements can do it—break magic into dark and light. So either Krogher has Soul Complements at his disposal, one of which also happens to be a Closer—”

“Faith magic,” Terric added.

“Right, and uses Faith magic to Close, or he's using the drones for the power and he has a Closer on call. I just don't know who Krogher could hire to do it.”

Anyone,
Sunny said from near Davy.
Lot of ex-Closers in the world.

Maybe. Not many I'd trust.

“You know how UnClosing works, right?” I said to Terric.

“Whoever cast the Close spell is the only one who can UnClose that person,” Terric said.

Thus, our problem.

“Eli, maybe?” he said. “I don't know. I have bits, fragments. I don't know if they're memories. Is he a Closer?”

“No. He's an asshole.”

“I'm getting that impression. Is it something Zayvion could handle? UnClosing me. Or someone else . . .”

Here's where he should say Victor, but he locked gazes with me. We might not be as connected as we were, but we'd known each other for a long time.

I looked away, unable to hold the thought of Victor's death between us.

“God,” he breathed. “When? How?”

“A few months ago. Bloody. At Eli's hands.”

“I don't even remember Eli being . . . anything. Is that what started this? Victor's death?”

“No. We started this.”

“How?”

“What do you remember about me? About us?” I asked.

“Well, you tried to kill me once and never forgave yourself.”

“Yeah, sure. Which time?”

His eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious? How many times have you tried to kill me?”

“It's still in the low single digits.” I gave him a smile.

He grinned. “So I see things are going well between us.”

“Oh yeah. We're fantastic.”

“Great.” He watched me stare outside for a bit. “Dash gave me the quick rundown about . . . well, I guess most of the changes with magic, and the drone people Eli made for Krogher.”

“Is that all he told you about?”

“I know we're . . . Soul Complements, or maybe something more. Life and Death? He was a little vague about the specifics.”

I tried not to wince at the way he hedged around admitting we were Soul Complements. I'd never thought he'd had a problem with that idea. He had always been the one telling me to get over it and deal with the link we had with each other.

“We're Soul Complements,” I said evenly. “We can use magic together better than most. And we can break it.”

“All right,” he said. “And you carrying Death magic and me carrying Life magic
in
our bodies. This is a thing?”

“No. It's just our thing.”

“Why?”

“Because we absolutely suck at watching each other die and have done ridiculous things, made sacrifices . . .” I shook my head. “We screwed up so many times with magic, I'm pretty sure this is our punishment.”

“Being stuck with each other?” he said with a small smile.

“Terminally.”

“I could think of worse,” he said.

“Yeah, well, you also have amnesia, so you don't know how bad it is.”

“I know you're still overly dramatic.”

“Or I'm just right,” I said.

“And you still have to get the last word.”

“True.”

“How about some sandwiches, boys?” Bea called out. She held a couple cups of coffee in each hand. Jack walked next to her with a platter of sandwiches.

Bea gave us the coffee, flashed her dimples, and carried the other two cups over to Davy and Dash. Dash thumbed off his phone.

Jack offered me the sandwich platter and a look that told me he'd prefer it if I were still tied up in the box.

“Thanks.” I took a sandwich, as did Terric and Dash, who walked our way.

“Allie and Zay?” I asked around a mouthful. Ham, cheese, and tomato on rye. Not bad.

Dash took a drink of coffee, closed his eyes for a moment before tipping the cup away and easing down on the couch.

“No sign of Eli. No baby yet,” he said.

Terric grunted. “Still can't believe he's going to be a father. Zayvion.” He shook his head.

“Can you find Eli, Shame?” Dash asked. “His heartbeat?”

“I think so.” Half my sandwich was gone and I'd barely tasted it. “You don't want to be near me when I do.”

“If we're going to be the ones to take Eli down,” Terric said, “to keep Zayvion and . . . Allie?”

I nodded.

“Allie safe,” he continued, “I need my memories back so I can use magic. So that we can use magic.”

“You don't remember how to use magic?”

“No. Whoever Closed me got that part right. I have memories of casting spells, I know there are glyphs involved, but using magic . . . I don't have it, Shame. And I can't begin to tell you how much I want that back.”

The old fire flickered behind his eyes. Sure, he was broken. He'd paid prices that didn't just fade away with the wave of a magic healing eraser.

In some ways, not remembering what had happened in the last week, hell, in the last three years or more, was a kindness.

Right. As if kindness was ever in the cards.

“Can you access magic at all?” Dash asked. “The Life magic in you?”

Terric took another drink of coffee, then shook his head. “I don't even know what I'm trying to access. Giving it the name
Life magic
is just giving it a name like
purple giraffe
. I don't know how to get at it, don't know where to look for it, don't know how to manipulate it.”

“We don't know who Closed you,” Dash said.

“So we have Zay take care of it,” Terric said. “UnClose me. Next to Victor, he's the best Closer I know.”

“Still, he wasn't the one who Closed you. It won't work.”

“If Zayvion is half as good as I remember,” Terric said, “he'll make it work.”

“He's in the middle of having a baby,” I said. “And I don't think that's going as smoothly as they hoped. He's too preoccupied to be doing magical surgery on your brain. He'll fuck it up for good.”

“Then you do it, Shame,” Terric said. “You know me better than anyone, right?”

Could you?
Eleanor asked.

All this talking to living people had made me forget that there were two ghosts standing in the room over by Davy.

“What?” I said to both Eleanor and Terric. “No. Absolutely not.”

“You said we were tied,” Terric said. “That we use magic together better than most. So use magic. On me. Open up my brain, Shame.” He flashed me a smile. “Trust me, it's not an offer you're going to get more than once in a lifetime.”

Yes,
Eleanor said.
You should. You should do this, Shame.

“No. Not having memories is bad,” I said. “But having your mind broken because an untrained Death magic user—hello, me—tries to pop your lid is a one-way ticket to Lobotomyville, Terric.”

“All right.” He leaned back. Gave me that “how about we run this theory through its paces?” look. I hated that look. “Give me another option.”

“We call a Closer from the old days,” I said. “Someone who knows the drill.”

“Okay, good. Now tell me how this Closer is going to access enough magic to break what's been done to me. You said only Soul Complements and Krogher's drones can tap in to that much magic.”

I scowled at him. Hated when he made sense. Hated when he showed me how very wrong I was.

“You can access magic, Shame,” he said evenly, as if carefully picking a lock and waiting to feel the tumblers give. “It's inside you. And you know how to use it. If Zay's not an option, then you're the only one who can get my memories back.”

“Another Soul Complement could do it,” I said. “Someone who was a Closer.”

“Got one of those in your pocket?”

“No.”

“So we go with my plan.”

“What is the plan, exactly?” Dash asked.

“Crazy over there wants me to restore his memories,” I said.

“I heard that part,” Dash said. “You're not a Closer, Shame. If I remember correctly, you failed that part of the magic-user test.”

I pointed to my chest. “Choir here, Bible boy.”

“He has magic and ability to use it. He also has incentive to try to do it right,” Terric said. “Good enough for me.”

“Since when did you become the reckless one?” I asked.

Terric gave me a smile I hadn't seen in years. “Being tied to you? Please. I've always been the reckless one. Stop being such an old woman about this. No big risk, no blue ribbons.”

Good Lord, he sounded like Cody.

“So what I'm hearing,” Dash said, “is we have no plan.”

This was a bad idea. A very bad idea. But I didn't have a better one.

Terric raised one eyebrow. Daring me.

There was a chance, a very small one, that this could work.

Plus, I could never turn down his dares.

“I'm not doing this on my own,” I said. “Not without instructions and a Closer. Dash, call Hayden. Tell him we'll meet him out at Mum's inn.”