Authors: Sara V. Zook
This was exactly what I had needed, a moment to myself which is something that was rare and far
between nowadays. It seemed like even in my bedroom in the very house I had grown up in that was
supposed to be my place of comfort, I would attempt to do something such as this, but then I would
hear a noise or someone’s voice and the realization that Carlin and all of her shadiness was being
allowed to lurk about the house provoked my emotions just enough to make me never feel comfortable
there. A safe haven, that’s what this store was. I needed to spend more time in silence like this. I was
finally starting to feel better.
That serene moment ended abruptly as I heard a loud noise coming from the back of the store. I
could feel the hair on the back of my neck rise as I sat up and listened, my fingertips indenting into the
arms of the old chair. I heard someone’s voice, almost like a hiss, and I swallowed the newly formed
lump in my throat as I stood and slowly crept toward the back of the store.
Had I caught a burglar breaking into my mother’s store? No one else had a key but my mother and
me, and I knew she certainly hadn’t stepped foot in here since her heart had started acting up again.
I gasped for air as I realized I had been holding my breath and my lungs felt like they were on fire
from doing so. I walked on the balls of my feet and cringed as I heard one of the floorboards screech
underneath me. I paused. I heard nothing. Then somebody rushed around the corner and slammed into
me, the blow knocking me backwards as I stumbled to regain my balance. I heard a loud thump as
whoever had run into me had fallen onto the floor. Once I was able to stand upright again, my eyes
scanned the floor in front to see what had happened.
“What are you
doing
?” a familiar voice snapped at me.
I watched Carlin get back on her feet. I offered her no help. She put her hand on her back as if she
had pulled something, her eyes fierce with anger and aimed accusingly at me. “Helene asked me to get
a receipt, and I dropped a metal box on my foot. I was coming in here to get some ice out of the fridge
and …” She glared at me and pointed a finger in my face. “Look what you’ve done now!” Her face
twisted in a pained expression.
I shook all over from how angry I was becoming, the intensity of the powerful emotion increasing
by the second. “You came here for a receipt this time of night in the middle of a snowstorm?” I
screamed, utterly outraged.
I had to hold both my arms straight by my side just to try to contain myself from hitting her. I
couldn’t stand this woman in front of me that was supposed to be my relative. There was no way that
we had the same blood flowing through our veins. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me,
Annie
.”
Keep pushing your luck, Carlin
, I thought.
“Where exactly did you go, huh? I doubt you went to the store. Were you out meeting someone in
particular?” she asked, still practically yelling as she did so.
The anger created tears in my eyes. I blinked them back. There was no way I was going to let
someone like Carlin see me break down and cry. “My life is none of
your
business. I’m a grown
woman.”
“To take care of my sister.”
Now it was my turn to sneer. “What a joke.”
“Why don’t you go hang out with your friend Mandi again? Mandi Liswich was it your mother told
me you went to see?”
My nails dug into my palms as I clenched my fists tighter and tighter.
She waited to see if that had done the trick, if I had snapped, but I just kept standing there as still as
a statue with my arms down, hands clenched and eyes glaring holes into her head as she did the same
back to me.
Amused with herself, Carlin leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms in front of her. “So
I thought to myself, I wonder why Annie would lie to Helene like that? I wonder who she really is
seeing? Tell me, Annie, who does a girl with no friends see?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I do know that you’re up to something, and that something is
probably no good. I’m going to be watching you, little Annie girl, like a hawk until I figure out exactly
what it is you’re up to.”
The tears came on and a drop escaped from my eye and raced down my cheek. I wiped it away
quickly with the back of my hand. Carlin grinned deviously and made one sudden turn on her heels
and disappeared out of sight into the back room.
I stood there in the silence, only this time it haunted me instead of gave me the freedom it had just
moments before. I was so full of fury, that all I could focus on was my need to release it. What was
the one thing that could take all of my anguish away and replace it with a feeling of self worth and
hope? Emry Logan. The name echoed in my mind. I had to go see him. I needed to be with him once
again, but even more than that, I needed to be beside him, be able to touch his face and his skin and
breathe in the same air as he was breathing. I had to try to do something. It had been too long. But
what was I going to do to be able to be near him? There had to be a way. Surely it wasn’t an
impossible feat.
My eyes frantically scanned the antique store. Surely my life was meant for more than this. I was
meant to be with someone who would make my life one of excitement and spontaneity. I knew I was
meant to be with Emry Logan. I had to get to him, to hear his soft voice once again and to know that
all of my recent craziness had meaning to it.
My heart fluttered as my eyes settled on something on the other side of the room. I hurried to the
object that was spread out over the head of a faceless mannequin in the corner. It was an antique wig
from the 1920s. It was a blonde bob cut, and it had been sitting here for years collecting dust. I
suddenly smiled just then. Yes, I would be getting lost in the glorious blue eyes that belonged to Emry
Logan very soon. I would be going to see him tomorrow.
Darkness. It was the first thing my eyes opened to in the morning. I jumped out of bed and pulled
back the thick curtains. More darkness. What time was it? Glancing back at the glowing red numbers
coming from my alarm clock on the nightstand, I read clearly that it was 5:30a.m. Why was I awake
so early? And then I suddenly remembered. Oh, yes. Today was the day.
I laid back in bed for a few minutes staring up at the ceiling, trying to imagine how everything was
going to happen. But then I realized that I actually had no real idea if any of this was going to work.
All I knew was that I had to try and risk getting caught. It was a chance I was willing to take to get to
Emry. I couldn’t wait any longer. It felt like an eternity since I had last had the chance to see him.
Maybe even longer.
I sat back up. There was no way I could just lay here in bed with this much excitement roaring
within me. I felt so alert and jittery at the same time. I hurried over to my closet to try to find
something to wear. I turned the light on and peeked inside. I frowned. I really wish I had had more of
a sense of style than this. None of these clothes were going to work for what I had in mind. I was
going to have to go shopping this morning, but how on earth would I be able to fit that in? I had to go
tend to the store for a couple hours until venturing down to the jail. There was no way that a trip to the
mall in downtown Seneca was going to happen for me today. I turned off the light and sat back down
on the bed, crossing my arms and pouting as I did so. What was I going to do now?
Then a huge smile crossed my lips as an idea suddenly came to me. I stood and walked as quietly
as I could down the hall to the very last door and stood in front of the spare bedroom. The door was
cracked open a hair, and I prayed that it wouldn’t screech loudly as I eased into pushing it open wide
enough for my body to fit through. My eyes began to adjust to the dimly lit room as I could see Carlin
curled up on her side with a navy blue comforter wrapped securely around her, her body facing away
from me.
I waited for a few moments, listening to the rhythm of her breathing. Then I looked toward the small
closet in the room and Carlin’s suitcase on the floor just in front of it. I was hoping that she had
unpacked and put all of her things in the closet. Surely she had and wasn’t living out of her suitcase
any longer. I took gentle, light steps over to the suitcase. It was unzipped and hanging slightly open. I
pulled it back to see it was empty. I moved to the closet next. The door made a shrill sound as I
opened it. My heart pounded as I looked over my shoulder and saw Carlin’s face. Her eyes were still
shut. The noise hadn’t fazed her.
I pulled the string dangling from a light bulb on the ceiling of the closet and gave it a quick tug. It
cast a glow onto a row of designer dresses and blouses and also out into the room a little bit. I looked
back at Carlin again. The light’s edges ended just inches from her face. She was still sound asleep. I
had to hurry. I tried to focus on the row of clothes in front of me.
Carlin had so much to choose from. I just hoped that they would fit me. We were probably about the
same size height-wise. She was a little thicker than me around the middle, but if I had to guess, she
would have bought most of these things a size or two smaller than she actually was just for pride’s
sake. My hands raked over many different styles and colors. She had a lot of black though, which was
probably the perfect color of choice for this particular day. Then my eyes met with a dress I instantly
loved. The top part of the dress was gray. The sleeves looked like they would come about halfway
down my arms. There was a silky black band that wrapped around the stomach area followed by a
smooth black skirt on the bottom that probably would extend a little past my knees. It wasn’t too fancy
and it wasn’t too plain. I held it up to take a better look and then hastily pulled the dress and hanger
from the metal rod it had been hanging from, yanked on the string to turn off the light and darted out of
the room.
The next few hours at the store went on endlessly. I was too excited to pay much attention to the
customers or hold a very long conversation. They would ask how my mother was doing, when she
was going to be back. I would say something short and simple in return, ring their order up and give
them each a quick smile before they left. The smiles came easier to me today. They were more
genuine. I was extremely nervous, but I kept a close eye on the clock, counting down the minutes until
I would be able to get out of here. When I could hardly contain myself any longer, I walked to the
front of the store and flipped over the sign that said OPEN to CLOSED. It felt nice not to have to
answer to anyone about where I was going. I was now the only one in control of the store. I was just
about to turn out the lights in the front room and lock up when the door swung open, a gust of cold air
ruffling my hair up off my shoulders. I spun around.
“Sammie?”
“You going somewhere?” she asked, walking past me and then turning around to face me.
“Oh, well, I don’t.” I just stood there and stared at her for a moment and she did the same. I wanted
her to turn around and leave immediately, but she wasn’t budging just yet. Was she about to ask me a
hundred questions? The anxiety of the situation was starting to build up. I still had to get ready, and
she was wasting my time.
“No. I don’t think I’m coming back today,” I replied. “But thanks though,” I added. “I appreciate it.”
She stared at me for a moment more as if she were trying to read my thoughts. Perhaps I looked as
“Yeah. Later,” I mumbled, closing the door myself behind her and locking it quickly. I watched her
out the window until her car rumbled away down the road before turning on my heels and making my
way to the back room to get dressed.
I unzipped the duffle back I had carried in this morning and carefully unfolded Carlin’s dress. I ran
my hand over the smooth cotton and made sure that I hadn’t wrinkled it by putting it in the bag. It
looked perfect still. I wiggled off the clothes I had worn to the store and put the dress on over my
head. I pulled it down over my hips and turned around to look at myself in the bathroom mirror. It was
tighter than I usually wore my clothes, but it wrapped around my body as if I were made for it. I
bunched up my hair onto the top of my head and wrapped a hair tie around it. Then I put what seemed
like a zillion pins in it to keep it secured in place. I then proceeded to put on a thick coat of foundation
on my face, followed by powder. I added some gray eyeshadow to match the top of the dress and
black eyeliner outlining the edges of my eyes. A shimmery cherry-red lipgloss polished my lips.
Lastly, I reached for the blonde wig and placed it on my gathered up ball of hair. I stood back from
the mirror and gave myself a look over. I started laughing out loud. Who was that staring back at me? I
definitely felt as if I had accomplished what I had set out to do looks-wise. I was completely
unrecognizable. I looked business-like, professional enough to be able to pass as Emry Logan’s
attorney. I put large silver hoops in my ears and added a layer of pale pink blush to my cheeks. I
stared back at myself for a moment longer. I looked beautiful.