Strange in Skin (18 page)

“And you have no idea how it happens?”

“I’m sure there’s an art to it, I just haven’t been able to figure it out. Like I said, I haven’t been able
to do this since in jail. This has been the first time in a long time.”
“So what do you do when you’re here?”

He shrugged. “I just explore, I guess. Sometimes I’ll think about stuff or not think about stuff,
depending. I can never get enough of this place. It amazes me every time. You can’t even know how
happy I am that you’re here with me, too, experiencing it all.” He grinned.

I was happy, too. This was amazing. How could I have ever doubted him? How cruel had I been
just a few moments ago acting like one of
them
, the people who doubted that there was anything more
out there, that there was no way that anyone could just bounce from world to world? I was so happy
that no one else knew Emry’s secret. No one else could
ever
know.

“What else do you want to know? I love getting this off my chest.”
“Not even Lainey knows?”

“No. I guess I should tell you more about all of that. Lainey adopted me when I was three. My
parents supposedly couldn’t take care of me, that sort of thing, when I was born. Then I was in the
foster system until Lainey came along, and I think she was lonely. Her husband had died, and they
never had any kids or anything. I was replacing him sort of. She was just so much older than a mother
with a little kid should be though. She didn’t ever really treat me like a kid. I came and went as I
pleased, and she would be there to give me a meal and a roof over my head. It was a strange
relationship, but it worked somehow.”

“And your real parents? Have you ever tried looking for them?”

“Well, yeah, actually, right after I turned eighteen. Henry and Trisha Logan were the names on the
birth certificate, but I think they’re fake.”
“Fake?”

Emry stopped walking, bent, and picked up a white rock. He tossed it across the water and it
skipped playfully a couple times across the surface before sinking. “The only reason I say that is
because those names can’t be linked to anyone. I’ve hired different guys to try to locate them, and they
always say the same thing. There’s no information on any Henry or Trisha Logan who were married
and gave up a child. So I’ve pretty much gave up on the idea.”

I let that all sink in. Emry Logan abandoned and his parents put down fake names on his birth
certificate? Did they know he was
special
? Were they like that and trying to hide the fact? I was sure
he had thought about all these things, so I didn’t bother bringing them up. I didn’t want to risk
upsetting him either or talk about him being abandoned. I could only imagine what a beautiful baby he
had been. How could anyone have ever given him up or not wanted him? It was truly heartbreaking
for me to think about.

“Have you ever seen anyone else here?”
“Not a soul.”
“That’s interesting.”
“It is, isn’t it?”

We walked away from the beach and into a patch of golden grass. It was like silk beneath my feet
and felt wonderful and soothing to the touch. Red clouds rolled overhead. They were just a shade
darker than the sky itself.

“And you haven’t been able to
warp
anywhere else? Is that the right word for it?”
He laughed. “I don’t know what to call it either. Call it anything you want. And no, just here.
Always here.”

I inhaled a big gulp of fresh air. The sweetness of it enlightened my taste buds with the new
sensation and taste. “Okay. So, you said you tossed Buck Brady into a tree by willing him to do that
with your mind?”

He nodded, listening intently to the question at hand.
“So, why are you still in jail? I mean, can’t you just will yourself out or whatever?”

“Funny you should bring that up,” he said. “I’ve thought about that many times. Here’s the thing.
First of all, I’ve never been able to do anything like that before until Buck had upset me with the
accusations about Wes, so I have no idea how I did it to begin with. I’ve thought about conjuring up
those emotions that set me off in an attempt to break out of there, but really, what good would it do
me? I mean, they’d just hunt me down again and throw me right back in jail.”

“So why do you ever go back?”
“To Earth you mean?”
“Yes.”

He pressed his lips together. “I haven’t explored but only a portion of this land. I don’t have the
first clue how to live here or what to eat. What if the water’s not safe? I just feel too insecure. I would
love to be able to stay here, but it doesn’t seem feasible.” Emry turned toward me, his hands sliding
over my shoulders and holding me in place. “Is this all making sense to you, the answers to your
questions?”

“Actually, yes. Basically you’re just as clueless as I am at this point?”

 

He grinned. “Exactly.” His eye turned toward one of the edges of the cliffs. “Do you think you can
climb? I want to show you a favorite spot of mine.”

 

“I can try.”

The cliff was steep and jagged. The soles of my feet felt like they were getting stabbed with each
step upwards. Emry would pull himself up first and then reach down and help me by practically
pulling me up to the next landing. I had never tried mountain climbing before. The movements were a
struggle for me, and my body ached and ultimately refused with each attempt.

As we reached the final hike to the top, Emry reached his hand down to me one last time. Beads of
sweat glistened on his forehead, and his hair came down to stick in his eyes as he lowered his head to
look at me.

“Ready?”

I reached up and felt his hand lock around mine and then my body being lifted upwards to the very
top. The rock itself seemed brittle and unsteady as our feet cautiously stepped on it. Emry led me to
the edge of it. It came to an abrupt sharp point that extended over the water.

“Now look down.”
I glanced at him hesitantly.
He gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I have ahold of you.”

I carefully walked to the outer part of the roof of this cave, making sure to shift the majority of my
weight to the balls of my feet. I heard a few pieces of rock crack underneath my feet. Emry’s strong
hands were gripped tightly around my waist. I stretched out my neck so I could peer downwards.

The water was below us at a great distance, but it was as if I was staring into a sheet of perfect
glass. Seeing through the clear water was an underwater cave that seemed to plummet endlessly in a
spiral under the water. It was like a gigantic hole that stopped where the water’s surface began. I
gasped for air as I realized I had been holding my breath.

“Oh, Emry,” I whispered. “That’s incredible. I don’t even know what to say. I feel like I could
stare at that for hours.”
He pulled me back. “Could you imagine falling into something like that?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Can you imagine what kind of creatures are lurking in that dark
hole?”

He raised his eyebrows at the thought. “I don’t think I want to find out.”
“Me either.”

We went back over to a flatter area of the cliff and sat down. Emry wrapped an arm around me, and
I leaned over to rest my head against his neck. You could see even more of Evadere from up here at
this height. The golden grasses extended upwards and looked as if they touched the red sky. It seemed
like miles and miles of gold everywhere as the sun danced off every aspect of this place and
illuminated the whole thing. The white dots of stars were like diamonds that stuck out against the
rose-colored sky even in the sun. I looked away and closed my eyes for a moment, just trying to
concentrate on being here alone with Emry and feeling his arm pulling me in tightly, safely.

“You have to tell me what you’re thinking,” Emry pleaded. “You know everything, and I feel like I
know nothing.”

 

“What do you want to know?”

“You’re here with me now in my beautiful Evadere.” He grinned smugly at the name he had created
for this place. “You know more about me than anyone else, and the only response I’ve gotten from you
are facial expressions. I need to know your thought process to it all.”

What was I going to say? I had doubted him, and I didn’t want for him to ever know that, because it
had been such a disgraceful thing to do to this beautiful creature sitting before me who had never felt
like he belonged to
my
world because he probably didn’t. He belonged to some place like this, and
how did someone like me become so fortunate as to experience something like this? I didn’t feel like I
even deserved to be with him, let alone for my eyes to be able to see this place. “I’m just trying to
wrap my mind around it all.” I looked up into his eyes and then looked away again, hoping he
wouldn’t be able to see how sad I was suddenly becoming. I didn’t belong here. I belonged to Seneca,
to live my same, expected, dull lifestyle there until I was old and gray and then I would die there.

“I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I told him. “More beautiful than anything I
could have ever pictured in my mind on my own. And, I think you’re beautiful, every part of you.” I
felt bold, as if I could tell him anything in the way of how I felt toward him. It was almost as if this
were my last chance, the last time I would get to be with him all alone in this way. I tried to shake the
sudden burden of loneliness so I could enjoy this moment and what I had left of it now. “I’ve always
been drawn to you. There’s something about you, and now I know what it is. You are different, but not
in a bad way. You’re kind and gentle. You’re a good person, Emry. You have these remarkable gifts
and strengths, and the fact that you’ve told me your secret, well, that’s just crazy to me.”

“Why?”

 

“Because who am I to know these things? I’m just an ordinary girl without anything special. I feel
like you’ve wasted your secret on me,” I blurted out.

I could tell instantly that my words had pained him as his eyes gave it all away. He pulled his arm
away from my shoulder and positioned himself so that he was still very close but directly in front of
me, face-to-face. “Don’t say that about yourself, Anna. You are special. You’re a good person, too. I
don’t know much about you, but from what I can tell, you’re caged in just as much as I am. It’s like
you have no sense of freedom or any way to express who you really are.”

“Too much is expected of me.”
“By others. But what do you want for yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that question?”

I buried my head into my knees, attempting to hide the tears that had come on so quickly and that
were now racing down my cheeks. “I hadn’t until I met you.”

 

“What do you want, Anna?” he asked more sternly.

I cried into my knees for a few minutes before being able to talk again. He didn’t try to interfere
with my moment of emotional release. “I want a life of my own. I want to be my own person. I feel
like everything around me, everything I have ever known is a lie.”

“It’s not a lie, Anna, it’s just that there is so much more to be realized.”

I looked up at Emry, feeling the burden of everything that had been heaved upon my shoulders lately
and wanting to let it all go, wanting to cave in and tell Emry everything. It wasn’t fair that he told me
all about his life and I told him nothing. Why was I trying to be so brave? I didn’t need to hold all of
these things in anymore. I had someone I trusted and could talk to, someone that would listen. I needed
to finally get it all out in the open. He wouldn’t judge me if I told him about my father, about Carlin,
my mother being in the hospital.

“Emry, there are these things that have been going on lately,” I began.
“What kind of things?” He lowered his eyebrows as if concerned.

I felt a lump in my throat and swallowed hard. It didn’t budge. “It’s my family,” I told him.
“They’re not what they seem.” I went on to tell Emry everything. It all came gushing out. Once I
started, I couldn’t stop talking. I told him about Buck Brady and his interest in me, how I decided to
play along just to know more about Emry, how Buck’s car had gotten the flat tire and we saw my
father with Mrs. Anderson at her house, how upset I had been and my mother’s heart condition. I told
him about my mother’s reaction to Mrs. Anderson showing up at the hospital and then about Carlin
and the dark cloud she had brought into our already demented household. I even told him about
Russell, the man my mother had been engaged to and who Carlin had also loved. It seemed like Emry
had sat there forever, listening to me go on and go about all of my so-called problems.

When I was done, I felt so much better, so relieved to have gotten it all out. I leaned between
Emry’s legs and bent over to rest my forehead against his hard chest. I felt his hand touch my head and
then begin to repeatedly run through my hair.

“Those other times you came to see me, you never mentioned any of this. I had no idea,” he
whispered, his other arm wrapping around my back to comfort me.

“I didn’t want to bother you with it,” I replied.
“Why?”

“Because,” I said, irritated with myself that I now had burdened him with all of my insignificant
dramas. “You’re in jail, Emry. You have much bigger problems to deal with.”
Emry chuckled, the noise vibrating in his chest and radiating to my head. He placed his fingers
under my chin and gently pushed my head up so that he could look into my soggy brown eyes. “You’ve
done so much for me. The least I can do for you is listen. I want to know what’s going on in your life,
Anna, you have to believe that and know that.”

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Listen to me. You have a lot going on. Don’t think of your problems as less to deal with than what
I have to deal with.”

 

“They’re not even close to being the same.”

“I wish you didn’t have any problems,” he admitted, his eyes penetrating into my own. “I’ve only
created more burden for you.”
“I don’t regret meeting you, Emry. The burden that I carry is that I feel as if my whole life has been
a lie.” I stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff, peering down at the wonder below me, the red
skies overhead. I let the intense sorrow that I should be accustomed to, fill me to the point of more
tears.