Struggle (8 page)
Authors: P.A. Jones
I couldn't sleep that night
. When I closed my eyes, I could only see two pinkish lips parted, waiting for me to kiss them, to make them mine. But how could I do that with her? I knew I liked her and she liked me, too, but I couldn't do that. She was not a one-night stand.
If I hurt her, I will only hurt myself. I never felt this kind of emotion for anyone…other than Samantha
.
I didn't want to hurt her
. I was making sure I went slowly with this relationship, but that was getting impossible day by day.
Is this a relationship, or just attraction? I can't play with her the way I play with
others. She didn't know what I had done with many girls. I wasn't good enough for her. But her eyes kept me awake and restless, her plump lips were ready to be plucked by mine, I have to stop myself from kissing her elongated neck, and her scent takes me to heaven. The more I see her each day, the more my urge to kiss her increases.
I
fell asleep sometime around 4 AM, still thinking about her. Around 8 AM, my doorbell rang. When I got up, the whole room rotated, and it felt like a hammer was hitting my head. I walked towards the door and opened it. Eva was standing there in her sneakers, green sports bra, and blue shorts.
"Come in
. Sorry, I just woke up. I didn’t sleep so well last night.”
"Why
? What happened? Kept thinking about me?" She smiled, mischievously.
I rubbed my neck
. “Something like that. I am going to make some coffee. Do you want some?"
"No
, thank you.”
My head was still hurting
. I needed something. I switched on the burner…then everything went black.
***
Eva
The sound of something falling
came from the kitchen. I thought Nathan must have dropped something. "What happened, Nathan? What did you drop?” I waited for an answer, but it didn't come. I got up from the couch to see what happened.
When I entered the kitchen
, I saw him on the floor surrounded by sugar.
What the hell happened?
I couldn’t think for a second. He was just talking to me and now he was unconscious on the floor. “Nathan? Can you hear me?” I shook his hand to wake him up, but he wasn't responding. I had to do something.
The
only friend I knew of his was James. I opened his phone, went to the browser, and searched for James. Google gave me thousand results. I was doing something wrong.
Damn, why am I searching in Google instead of the contacts?
I called James. Thankfully
, he was nearby. He came, and we moved Nathan onto couch and called for an ambulance.
***
I was biting my nails while the paramedic was checking him. My mind was creating a thousand questions. I really didn't want anything to happen him. I prayed that he would be all right. The paramedic stood up.
"What happened
? Why did he pass out?”
"Are you his relative?"
"No, his friend."
Am I more than that to him?
"Well
, there’s nothing to be worried about. It's just a minor concussion, but he needs someone to take care of him."
"I will do that."
"Okay, call if there are any complications,” the paramedic said.
I sat near his head, waiting for him to wake up. James sat there, too. He told me many stories of him and Nathan, and the boxing life. Hairs pricked up on the back of my neck when I heard about all the horror matches that Nathan had gone through.
Finally, Nathan
opened his eyes. Rubbing his head, he said, "What happened?"
I put my hand on
his mouth. “Keep quiet. You have a concussion. You need to rest today." I didn't want him to waste his energy. I would be taking care of him until he was better.
"What
? How come I am on the couch?"
"
You passed out in the kitchen. James came as soon as I called him.”
"Hey
, buddy. How are you feeling?" James asked.
"Better, but my head
really hurts.”
"Don't worry
. We got some medication. You have a minor concussion, but you will be fine soon." He smiled. "But you will need care.” He looked at me.
"Oh,
don’t worry. I will take care of him." I looked at Nathan, who was watching me carefully. I smiled. "Really, I’m just staying here to take care of this careless person. You can go if you have something else to do.”
"That's really not necessary
, Eva. I can take care of myself." Nathan was trying to be formal, which I didn't really like.
"Don't be a jerk
, Nathan. When I said I would take care of you, I meant it. Anyways, I told Mrs. Cooper that you were ill and you wouldn’t be able to present the project today. I also have a free day."
I was determined to make things right for him. After all, he was ill, and I felt more for him than just friendship. The attraction that lies between us is more than just physical, too. Whenever I looked into his brown eyes, I felt his touch straight to my soul. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I knew one thing…I would spend days, if required, taking care of him.
"But your
training. We should at least get some training in, Eva.”
"It's ok
ay, Nathan. I will manage it. You should lay down. I will make some soup for you." I walked to kitchen. "Do you have tomatoes?”
"Yes
, they are in the refrigerator."
"I think you are in good
hands.” James grabbed Nathan's shoulder and whispered something in his ear. I wondered what was said.
"Thanks
, James.” Nathan tried to smile, but it was very weak. My heart was breaking seeing him in that condition.
"No worries
. I will come and check on you tonight.”
I stayed at Nathan's
the whole day. My heart was filled with emotion for him. Plus, I just wanted to spend some time with him. I made him some soup, and he was soon sleeping again. I sat near his head, watching TV and caressing his hair.
He was sleeping like a
n innocent baby and I wished that I could kiss him on his forehead, but he was ill and I didn't want to take advantage of the situation. I kept wondering about our relationship and where it was going. It was a strange mystery to me.
He changed position in his sleep and
his hand fell on my thigh, sending electricity through my body. I knew I was attracted to him, but this was different. It was kind of like I was in love with him. The more I’m near him, the more I want to be near him. I never felt that way with Jacob. The craving was building up inside me, and I wanted to tear his clothes every time he looked at me. I wanted to feel his skin on mine. But, at the same time, when I looked at him sleeping, my heart was filled with love. The only thought that came to my mind was him getting better. I was ready to spend as much time as he needed for his recovery. My exercise, my routine, and my schooling were all secondary to him. I looked at his sleeping face and knew that I was in love.
He finally woke up in the evening. I prepared some dinner for him
, then left for my dorm after he had fallen asleep again. But my heart was with him, taking care of him.
***
Nathan
Somebody was in kitchen when I woke up
. It must be Eva. She came earlier than I expected. She had the key to my flat, which I gave her last night. I was rubbing my eyes when I walked into the kitchen.
"Good morning
, sweetheart!" She made my morning happy with her beautiful smile. "Coffee?"
"Sure." I felt very happy because she was there and taking care of me.
She made a cup of strong black coffee. “Thanks,” I said as she handed it to me.
"You are welcome
, Nathan. How are you feeling this morning?” She took my temperature. “You’re fever is gone, but I would feel better if you rested for one more day.”
"I am perfect now
. I can jump if you want me to show you."
"Easy
, stud. You are not jumping or doing anything else. You’re going to the couch to rest.” Her lips pursed, then a beautiful smile emerged. "And I am going to be here to take care of you." She pushed her hands into my messed up hair.
"You are so sweet
, Eva." Her actions were making me dizzy, but not from my concussion.
She looked around and giggled sweetly. "So what would you like to watch on TV
?"
“Whatever you want to watch,” I said, smiling.
“Maybe “Supernatural”, or sports?”
“Both my favorite.”
I extended my hand for the remote, but she slapped my elbow and took the remote from the couch.
"Let me do these things
, Nathan. You just rest."
She was making
this very hard on me. "Don’t do this, Eva. It will just make my life harder."
She climbed on me and placed her legs around my thighs, but she
didn't sit. "And you have made it harder for me, day by day." She lowered her mouth and bit my lower lip.
It was impossible to resist
. I pulled my neck up and tasted the attractive fruit hanging there for me.
Shit, they taste so good…like a strawberry dipped in dark chocolate
. My hand moved to the back of her neck to pull her forward. Her head tilted left to take my upper lip in her mouth. Her long neck was exposed and I couldn't resists myself. I left her lips and kissed her on the neck. She moaned in pleasure. I continued kissing it until I reached the neck of her dress, then moved back, making every kiss count and leaving a burning desire inside both of us. I kissed her shoulder, her neck, her lips.
I pushed my tongue
in to play with hers. She was playful enough to pull it back. When I finally found it again, she forced it inside my mouth. My right hand was on her back, pulling her closer to me. I could feel the heat from her body and her tits pressed against my chest.
"Oh
, Nathan, you drive me crazy. I just love you."
I love you
, Nathan, and I can't live without you. Please be mine.
The voice of Samantha echoed in my head. I pushed Eva back.
She was disappointed, her eyes became wet
. "Why, Nathan? I can't keep doing this. Don't you like me? Don't you feel the tension when we are close? Didn't you do all those things for me? Why you are so caring and expect nothing from me? Why do you take me to the hill and then throw me down?” She started sobbing.
I kissed her eyes, but she
moved her head away from me, which hurt like a knife in my heart. I couldn't stand her crying when I’m the reason for it. "It's nothing like that, Eva. Listen to me."
She didn't say
a word and went to the kitchen. She made some food, then left the house, leaving a note. I was so frustrated that I couldn't even think of stopping her. I didn't have the answer to her questions.
I picked up her note
:
It's better that I give you some time to think about what you want. It just doesn't feel right that I keep running behind you and your issue keeps coming between us.
She really didn't
have any idea of what's going on inside me.
My heart was breaking. What I did was wrong. I just refused the love of a women that I started liking more and more each day. I wanted to feel her, touch her, kiss her, and make her mine, but I didn’t want to hurt her in the process. My past was biting me, the darkness consumed me, and I decided to drink. Alcohol was my only friend at that time and I did what I always do…drink and try to get laid.
I called up James to
see if he wanted to go out. He was happy because his wingman had returned. This was my chance to forget about Eva. I wanted her, but I kept declining her. I wanted her touch, but I kept drinking so I could forget her. That evening, my heart had a desire to fuck someone and be myself. The player in me was trying to come out. Eva had almost killed him, but today was his day.
I took out my finest suit
. I used a lot of cologne, and a clean shave gave me the look that I wanted. James was already waiting for me in Lounge X. Maybe I would just get to see Peter and Amelia, and hit him on
his
face. I wasn't myself. One corner of my heart kept missing Eva's scent and her delightful presence, but alcohol was deep inside me and I could only think of getting laid. I
am
a bad boy, after all.
"Hi
, Nathan. Ready to party?" James was waiting for me outside the bar.
I
shook his hand. "I hope the bouncer will allow us in.”
"Don't worry
. I have already tipped him and he won't be any trouble today." James pated me on my shoulder. “And where is your smart girlfriend?"
My heart pained for a moment, but I
wasn't giving in to it. "She is busy. Don’t worry about her. Let's just drink and score a pussy."
“Just
like getting an old friend back." We walked into the bar.
To
my surprise, Amelia, Peter's fiancé was inside. She was wearing a yellow low cut dress, which barely covered her nipples. I had to admit that she was sexy enough to skip anyone’s heartbeat. She was sitting in a corner table, drinking slowly.
"Hi
, Amelia. I wanted to say sorry for that day." I knew I had a chance with her, and that was the best way to get back at Peter at the moment.
She looked up and smiled faintly. "You don't need to. He was a jerk and
we broke up."
I made my
sad puppy face. "That's very sad, Amelia. I hope you will get someone suitable for you. You are a sweet girl and you deserve all the happiness in the world."
"Are you trying to flirt with me
, Nathan?"
"Did I last time
? Don't tell me that you didn't enjoy the little time we spent together.”
She tilted her head to
the left, her cheeks becoming slightly pink. "Oh, yes, that was nice.” She looked around. "So what are you doing here?"
"Came looking for some trouble."
"You won't get it now. He is not around."
"Then why
were you alone?"
"
I don't know. Maybe I came for some trouble, too." She bit her lower lip. "That bastard was asking me if I was cheating on him." She came closer to me and put her head on my shoulder. She raised her hand to touch my ear. "Do I look like a cheater, Nathan?"
"No
, you don't. Actually, that jerk doesn’t deserve you. You ought to be with someone who cares for you and looks after you." That was the same thing Eva was for me but, being a jerk myself, I declined her love.
"Can you take me somewhere
, Nathan? I am feeling lonely here." She kept playing with my ear, which was getting irritating.
"Yes
, sure dear. We can go on a long drive and, if you like, we can spend the night in my home drinking and celebrating the best thing that ever happened to you.”
"Sure
, baby. Let’s get out of this brutal world, and cheers to my breakup." She bit my ear, and drank her remaining vodka.
I told James about my plan and went out feeling better. Somehow
, thoughts of Eva were fading.
When I started driving,
Amelia was already all over me. She was kissing me like mad, and it was irritating. If this would have been Eva, she would have taken things slowly and been more playful. I remembered her lips, her skin, and her eyes.
Amelia
again bit my ear, this time I moaned in irritation. "What’s wrong? Don’t you like that, Nathan?"
"Nothing like that
. You just bit me hard.”
“What would
happen if I bit you there?” She pushed her hand into my crotch squeezing. I didn't like it, but I had invited her.
"Let me concentrate on
the road, Amelia. I don't want us getting into an accident." I tried to push her hand away.
"Come on."
She unzipped my pants, and lowered her head to kiss me down there.
"
Amelia, I said no.” I forced her head away from me and pulled up the zipper.
"What's wrong with you
, Nathan? When you invited me to your apartment, you didn't mean that we would just drink. Sex was your intention, and now you are acting like a child."
All I
could think about was Eva. What was she doing? Was she thinking about me? "I am sorry, Amelia. I just can't. I will drop you at your place.”
"Are you in love
, Nathan?"
My eyebrows shot up.
"What?"
"I said are you in love with someone?"
"No, it's just that Ev…”
"So you are. It's hard to resist a sexy women trying to suck
you off, but it’s easier if you’re in love with somebody else.”
"No
, I am not. Tell me your address and I will drop you off."
She told me her address and I dropped her
at her room. I glanced to my right and saw Eva and Chloe jogging down the street. They stopped when they saw me. "Hi, Eva. Hi, Chloe."
"So this is your girlfriend then
?" Amelia said. "You are a lucky girl because not many people can resist the temptation of sleeping with me. Hold onto him tight, dear." And she walked past us, sadly smiling.
"Sorry about her
. I just came to drop her off,” I apologized.
“I’m going to
call Martin. You two have a chat,” Chloe said, walking away.