Stuck in Neutral (12 page)

The best advice anybody ever gave me came from Patrick McManus, who said, “When you think you're really ready to write, plant your butt in a chair for an hour every single day and write; don't be distracted, don't pay bills, or surf the internet, or play video games; WRITE for that whole hour, every day. Only by doing this will you figure out if the life of a writer is for you.”

6. Why did you become a writer?

Answer #1: Because a wonderful high school English teacher named Kaye Keyes encouraged me to do so when I was about seventeen years old. She's the first teacher I ever remember saying anything to me other than, “You're not working up to your potential.” She was a great mentor and a great person.

Answer #2: I went to a high school with a large number of rich, good-looking, smart, and athletic kids, pretty much none of which was true for me. But I was the guy who gave other kids nicknames, actually a form of bullying the way I did it, which I feel guilty about. Still, I learned the power of words and language, and without quite realizing it, found that words were my strong suit.

5. Is your son Sheehan, who you based the character Shawn McDaniel on, still living?

Yes, Sheehan lives with his mother and the family she started after our divorce. Sheehan is thirty-two at this time, still wears diapers, can't walk, talk, or do anything much at all. If you were to put him in a room, ten feet by ten feet, and put food and water in with him and come back three days later, he'd probably be dead as he doesn't have the ability to take care of himself in even those most basic ways.

4. You abandoned him. How can you stand yourself? (Like I said, seventh graders will ask you ANYTHING!!!)

It's a strange thing. Although I couldn't handle Sheehan's brain injury and degree of disability back then, a few years later when I met my present wife Patti, we inherited the responsibility for providing 24/7 care of her sister, who is now a fifty-one-year-old woman with Down syndrome. I guess God or the universe or some weird Karma thing was telling me that I had some things I needed to learn from people with developmental disabilities, like Sheehan and Donna. I believe that you can't run away from your destiny.

3. What's your favorite food/color/animal/place/book/kind of car/ motorcycle?

Answer (depending on my mood, sometimes):

• Food: Tacos

• Color: Black because it's so thinning (I'm not quite as buff as I used to be!)

• Animal: Dogs

• Place: It's a tie between N.Y.C. and Sabino Canyon in Tucson, Arizona!

• Book: Come on, don't be silly—anything written by ME!!

• Kind of car: Corvette

• Motorcycle: None anymore since I crashed my Kawasaki 1500cc Vulcan on July 3, 2008, and broke my clavicle and every rib on the left side of my body. Not fun!

2. Did you ever think about killing your own son, like Syd thought of killing Shawn in
Stuck in Neutral
?

No, I didn't—at least not consciously. There is a cliché: “where there's life there's hope,” and so long as Sheehan is alive, there is always a slim chance that someday he might wake up and be able to communicate. I was very depressed for many years and considered suicide more than once, but I never thought about ending my son Sheehan's life.

And the #1 most-asked question (this can be worded in a number of different ways, but it's always the same question):

1. But why did you end the book like you did? I HATE that ending, what happened to Shawn? Did his dad kill him or not? WHAT HAPPENED NEXT TO SHAWN???!!!???

To have killed Shawn would have broken my heart. To have let the reader know that he didn't die would have left a “whew, thank goodness, everything will be okay” feeling at the end which, in fairness to real-life families of kids with profound developmental disabilities, is just not always true. But here's my favorite answer: by having Shawn's fate be unknown, the reader is worried about Shawn, truly upset that he might not make it. If I were to have suggested to you before you read this skinny little book that at the end of it you'd be upset and concerned about the well-being of a kid like Shawn, a kid in a wheelchair, wearing a diaper, and drooling and moaning “AHHHHHH” all the time, you'd have never believed it. But you want to know what happened to Shawn McDaniel? In
Life Happens Next
, I'll tell you!

What sucks the most about having a perfect memory is not being able to get all of the glory that comes from sharing it. I could've won money on game shows, used awesome pickup lines to impress girls, and not be considered the dumbest kid in the zoo. Thanks to the television, I know a lot of history, science, politics, music, and pop culture. I thought I'd share some of the knowledge I've been storing, since a lot of what I know is pretty cool. And maybe those of you that have the ability to win big or find a girlfriend will thank me later
.

The million dollar question I would win:

Hey, you name it and I probably know it: The state capital of Iowa? Des Moines. Who was Miss U.S.A. 2001? Kandace Krueger of Texas, the eighth Miss U.S.A. from the Lone Star State. Are javelinas dangerous to humans? Javelinas (wild pig/boar animals) are a lot meaner to dogs, who remind them of coyotes, than they are to humans, who probably would remind them of baboons … if they could even see us. They are nearly blind!

Best pickup line:

Pardon me, Kandace Krueger, but by any chance have you seen my pack of wild javelinas wandering around this dark parking lot? (Okay, I admit I don't have a lot of hands-on experience with this kind of thing, but wouldn't the thought that a pack of wild boars with giant fangs might be running around looking for a midnight snack of Miss U.S.A. 2001 be a pretty good incentive for the girl to fall into a guy's protective arms? Never mind that javelinas are actually vegetarian, they sure don't
look
like vegetarians!)

Thing to say that will make you a shoo-in with your girlfriend's dad:

I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be a shoo-in with any girl's dad as long as I look like I do. But if you are a typical, able-bodied teenage guy, you might try, “Hello, sir. I'll be real nice to your daughter as I'd like to continue breathing.” That oughta do the job.

Best comeback:

Unfortunately for me, my best comeback line and worst comeback line, in real life, is the same, a loud “AHHHHHHHHH!” My favorite fantasy comeback line would depend on what I'm coming back from: personal insult? Snide remark? Unkind observation? Plain old negative creep crud? I know this much, the best feeling a guy can have when he's dealing with a crummy situation is to walk away at the end
without
the feeling, “I wish I would have said …” If you
don't
think that, then you've probably already done the best you can do.

Favorite fun fact (betcha don't know it!):

The DNA of most life forms—ants, goldfish, dogs, javelinas, jackasses, and humans; heck, even flowers and trees—is much more alike than it is different! So whether you believe that the earth is six thousand years old and that fossils are a myth or that Darwin is God, the fact is that the order of the DNA code is what makes us different, not the stuff in the DNA itself. Cool, huh? Thank you, Discovery Network!

Thing you'll never need to know (but I do):

Sitting in a wheelchair and watching, listening, and remembering everything I hear from life, T.V., the radio, and people's conversations has given me a trivia backlog of junk that is so huge it's unimaginable. For instance, I once heard a science expert say that matter can never be created or destroyed. A reassuring thought if you're facing death.... So, not to worry, you'll still be around—which is great if you're happy with the prospect of being changed into gasses and dirt, molecules and memories.

Okay, so the next few things aren't facts, per se, but they are things I know to be true!

Greatest musical instrument ever invented:

A tie between cello and tenor saxophone, unless you want to count electric guitar in the hands of a GREAT rock and roller.

Greatest food ever invented:

Deluxe bacon double cheeseburgers. I remember every bite of each one my brother has ever slipped me. This food is so delicious that the worst tasting bite I ever had was still wonderful and too good for mere mortals.

Greatest person in American History:

Probably Abraham Lincoln because without him there wouldn't be a U.S.A. and therefore not much American history.

My playlist would definitely include my top five songs—some of these you've probably never even heard of! I have to listen to whatever my family puts on, and they've always been old school rock and roll or classical music fans more than anything else (except for Paul, whose tastes include rap and hip-hop stuff, too). So if I had any dexterity in my hands to make a playlist or press an iPod, I would include my top five favorite songs:

5. “Dream Lover” by Bobby Darin

A great romantic song about being in love, but only in your dreams.

4. “Lose Yourself” by Eminem

A song about desperation and going totally, 100%, all-out to somehow be seen and known.

3. Anything by Mozart

I know, it's not a single pick, but I rarely get the names of the Mozart I hear, and I always love all of it.

2. “In My Life” by the Beatles

A song about loving life and loving love in particular—a great, brilliant tune.

1. “Bright Side of the Road” by Van Morrison

An older rock-and-roll song. When it's playing, it's impossible to feel depressed!

I've also been positioned in front of the TV a lot, so I see a ton of movies. Same deal, from my fifth fave to my number one:

5.
Rain Man

Why do I love it? Raymond, the autistic guy, reminds me of myself a lot.

4.
Dust to Glory

Don't even ask me why I like this movie so much, all I know is that every time Paul puts it on, I like it even more!

3.
The Godfather
(parts I and II … NOT III)

Cheating again, I know, but just pretend that it's one kinda long (six hours or so) movie.

2.
Seabiscuit

Corny, sentimental, over-the-top movie about a bunch of losers who triumph over all!

1.
Murderball

Quadriplegic guys playing wheelchair rugby—come on, what's not to love?

Terry, you are the author of six other books. We have questions about all of them!

Cruise Control
is a companion to
Stuck in Neutral
, telling Paul's story. Why did you feel it was important to give readers more insight into Paul's perspective?

Well truthfully, I always wanted to write more about Shawn but, for a while, I worried about ruining that annoying ending of
Stuck in Neutral
, where the reader doesn't know what happens to Shawn next. Antonia Markiet, my editor for
Stuck in Neutral
, suggested I write a companion novel, one told in the same time frame but from a different character's point of view; I knew instantly I wanted to tell Paul's story. When my son Sheehan was born I felt a lot of emotions and a major one was anger. Paul's character is based on that anger, and I kind of needed to get it out, so I wrote
Cruise Control
. All my life I've had a terrible temper that's only gotten a little better with age.

Inside Out
brings us inside the head of a boy with schizophrenia. Why did you write a novel about a character with this mental illness?

Both
Inside Out
and
No Right Turn
are about devastating illnesses. I have a Master's Degree in Applied Psychology and had worked in mental health and counseling facilities for a number of years. Then I lost a much-beloved stepson to schizophrenia: he killed himself at our home in October 1997. So both professionally and personally I have a big interest in stories about mental illness. Anybody can wake up one day and realize that they are not normal anymore—anyone! So I wrote these books to help readers understand how mental illness is a tragedy and a challenge, not a curse or some kind of punishment for anything.

No Right Turn
is about a boy who is struggling in the wake of his father's suicide. Is it hard for you to write about such heavy subjects? Oftentimes you hear that actors really take on the weight of their characters. Do you feel this way when you write yours?

My stories are based on things that have happened to me in real life. Living through the losses and heartbreak associated with difficult and challenging moments is way harder than later using the material of those experiences to try and create understanding and compassion in readers. Usually by the time I'm writing a novel about something painful and hard, I've gained enough distance and perspective to approach the material with honesty and, hopefully, a certain level of fearlessness. You can't write realistic fiction if you're a chicken-butt. You have to take risks.