Submissive Seductions (3 page)

“What do you fantasize about when you are alone? When there’s nothing but you and your handy vibrator, what do you think about?”

Yeah, I was blushing hard. Though if it was from the heated nature of my thoughts or the need to spell out what I did when I got myself off, I couldn’t be sure. I imagined it would be poor form to say “you” given I’d just met the man. Honest, but unnecessary pressure. Maybe he wouldn’t mind?

“I’m not sure I can put it into words.” I licked my lips in an attempt to cover up the blatant lie. I didn’t know if I would sound like a freak for saying the truth out loud.

“Liz, I want you to close your eyes.” I did without hesitation. It was getting easier to do what he said. “Now, tell me what you see.”

I squeezed my hands a bit tighter in my lap. The images that popped into my head were always consistent, always set to get me turned on. “I see a man who is larger than me. He tells me what to do, takes away my choices in the bedroom. I don’t want to think or decide or have to ask. I want him to simply know what I want when I want it. Apparently, I need to be with a mind reader.”

“Liz.” There was a warning note in his voice. It was strange to have someone pick up on my deflection techniques so quickly after first meeting them.

“I want to do what he says. If he wants to fuck my ass or have me give him a blow job, then that’s what I’ll do.” I opened my eyes then and looked at him.
Really
looked at him. Somehow I knew there was something special going on tonight. I had taken a step into becoming someone else. An evolution into someone I didn’t yet know.

I’m not sure what he saw standing there, what insights he gained by seeing me sitting before him, but something on his face changed. He leaned back and for a moment I understood what it would feel like to be under a magnifying glass.

I wasn’t about to let that intense look scare me off. I knew I wasn’t able to hold anything back now that I’d finally started talking. “Does that make me some sort of anti-feminist? I mean, what kind of woman wants to give up that kind of control to a man?”

Master Gareth didn’t speak right away. While I knew what I said was probably the least shocking thing he’d ever heard in his life as a Dom, it was still a big step for me. I hadn’t even said all of that to Connie, and she was a sub and definitely someone who would understand. But she was confident in her ability to let go and let Stephen flog her senseless, tie her up and do what he wanted, or withhold her orgasm until she was nearly delirious from need. They’d worked out the playbook and knew the calls.

I was still figuring out what the game was.

It was like taking a giant leap backward and becoming an awkward teenager once more. Never knowing what to do or say, what made me a freak or what was simply me being different. I wasn’t old, but you’d think at twenty-six I’d have some of this stuff figured out by now.

“It’s been my experience that it takes a very strong person to admit to needing help.” He moved around to stand behind me. I shivered when I felt him lean forward so his mouth was close to my ear. “How long have you had these longings?”

Forever. “A while now.”

“You wanted tonight to see if this was something you could do?”

“I need to know that this isn’t some kind of mistake. Before I get into another relationship and fuck that up, too, I have to have my head around what it is I need. Before I ask someone for something I can’t really see through. I—” This really shouldn’t have been so difficult. I tended to do things the hard way when it wasn’t necessary.

On impulse, I slipped from the chair to my knees and stayed there. If I couldn’t make the words say what I wanted, then I could do this. Every cell in my body felt like it was vibrating with lust and impatience.

There was a pause and then the sound of the chair being pushed aside. “I have rules.”

Rules were good. I liked rules.

His hand was warm on my shoulder and surprisingly comforting considering I’d just met the man. I’d never been foolish enough to believe in love at first sight, but even I couldn’t deny the connection between us. While trust needs to be earned in most cases, for tonight I was willing to nudge my caution to the side and go with the flow.

“I’ve already told you rule one, refer to me as Sir.”

I nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“See, you’re doing fine already. Second rule, if I do something you don’t like, you need to tell me. You will say red if you want me to stop. Yellow and I’ll slow things down.”

Colors were nice and simple. “I can do that.”

The hand on my shoulder gave me a squeeze.

“Sir! I can do that, Sir.” Dummy.

“Good girl.”

His other hand took up position on my free shoulder. For the first time since I’d entered the club I felt grounded. I loved the feeling of his hands on my skin, how it drew another shiver from deep inside and caused my blood to surge. I was flying blind, but it was certainly a rush.

“Liz, I need to know if there is anything that freaks you out. The dark? Loss of breath? Being yelled at?”

“Nothing, Sir.” There was that one time I’d freaked out when I’d gone indoor rock climbing, but I doubt he was going to send me scurrying up a wall anytime soon.

“Pain threshold?”

“One of the boyfriends I asked to spank me? When he did, his hand ended up hurting before my ass did. Sir.” John had dumped me a week later. Despite what Connie said, I knew that was the reason why. He wasn’t able to meet my gaze for days after, like I’d turned into some sort of three-headed freak. Sure, I might be better off without him, but it had still hurt.

The bastard.

Another squeeze, this time a lot harder. “From this point on I want you to stop thinking, Liz. I’m in charge now. Your body belongs to me and I will do with it what I want. Do you understand?”

I couldn’t resist looking up at him. “This is really going to happen?”

I’m not sure if it was because we weren’t that far into the scene, or if I was suddenly speaking to the man behind the Dom. Either way, Master Gareth gave me a small smile.

Logically I knew he wasn’t two separate people, but I swear in that moment I could see a lot more than the Dom mask he’d been wearing up to this point. Maybe a mask wasn’t the right description and he was simply good at hiding his emotions from others. Either way, I could tell he was used to keeping a part of himself held back.

I knew because it was something I did too.

Maybe someone had hurt
him
at one point? Wouldn’t that be ironic?

Master Gareth’s slight smile melted from his lips. The spark was still present in his eyes, which served to keep me calm and focused on him.

“You paid your money. I’m here to do what you want, which is to take over. If you
don’t
want this, we can do something else. I would hate for you to feel some sort of pressure to continue on because of the auction, what Connie said, or any other reason. I don’t mind talking about the lifestyle if you want more information. Though I could point you to some good Web sites for that.”

“No! Sir, I’m good. Please. I’m ready for this.”

Master Gareth reached down and cupped my chin. His gentle pull stretched my head back not quite to the point of pain. I gasped and let my eyes slip closed. He didn’t let go, didn’t relent. His fingers dug into the sensitive skin of my throat and gently squeezed. It wasn’t enough to cut off my oxygen, but the sudden possessive and controlling move had my cunt clenching at the prospect of an amazing fuck.

“You need to stop your mind from spinning.” He squeezed a bit harder. “Don’t think for a moment I can’t tell when you’ve got something buzzing around in there.”

It was hard to blank my mind, though I made a valiant attempt. Instead, I concentrated on the pull of his calloused fingers across my throat, the ache of my neck muscles as I held the awkward angle. I didn’t dare move. I didn’t want to. It felt amazing to have his hand holding me firmly, pressing me into the floor with the strength of his will. Fuck, it was quite the rush.

“You will do what I say when I say. There will be no hesitation. If you have a genuine problem with anything, remember to say either red or yellow.
No
won’t stop me.
Stop
won’t stop me. Begging and pleading won’t get you what you want either.”

“Sir.” And in that moment I felt relief.

He understood.

Gareth wasn’t humoring me or trying to simply fulfill the auction bid. In a matter of a few minutes he got me. It was weird and electrifying all wrapped into one overwhelming package of awareness.

I couldn’t stop the moan from escaping when he released the pressure on my throat. How could I miss the contact already? Was I that pathetic that the least bit of attention turned me into a panting, needy whore? The ping on the end of my nose had me snap my eyes open.

Right. No thinking.

“There is more to being a good submissive than doing what you’re told. It’s important, but not the be-all and end-all.” He moved once again and with my eyes closed it was challenging to track him. “Tonight we’ll keep things simple.”

Would there be other nights? Would I even want other nights? I couldn’t help but think yes, given how strongly I was reacting to him. It would be very easy to lose myself in him. Now I understood what Connie had been trying to tell me for months.

Without realizing he’d gotten close, I gasped when his hand plunged into my corset, found my nipple, and squeezed tight. The pain jerked me back to the room and Gareth.

“I said no thinking, Liz.” The slight smile that had played on his lips was gone now. I was surprised how different he looked, all hard angles and iron control. “If you can’t listen to me on this simple thing, then this will not work out.”

Oh no, no, no, no! “I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll do better.”

“Yes, you will. Part of the problem is your clothing. It’s a distraction. Take them off, fold them, and place them by the door.

Wait.

What?

“You’re not moving. Do it now, Liz, or else leave.”

There was no room for negotiation in that tone. There was no softness in his gaze or body. Gareth stood there staring at me, arms crossed and legs spread shoulder width apart. If I had been thinking I would have freaked out. I hardly knew the man and he wanted me to get naked in front of him while he remained fully clothed. It was probably the most insane thing I’d ever been asked to do in my life.

I don’t think I’ve ever moved so quickly before in my life. Sure my fingers shook as I pulled at the knot holding the front of my corset together, but I somehow managed to get it open. The damn thing proved harder to fold than I first figured it would be. I didn’t want him to change his mind and kick me out because I’d moved too slow, so I folded the damn thing in half and jogged over to the door to place it on the floor.

If nothing else, I could go with the flow.

My jeans were easier to fold, but ended up being harder to remove. I wasn’t wearing panties beneath and he would get an eyeful right away. I’m still not sure what had possessed me to skip putting on my intimates, but it had somehow seemed appropriate given where the auction was being held. Honestly, I didn’t think anyone would be in a position to have noticed.

Too late for regrets.

I kicked off my heels as I undid the button. The denim pulled off easily and I had it folded and placed on the corset before I turned around to face Gareth once more. I could feel the blush heat my face and I hoped he didn’t hold that against me.

My hands twitched at my side as Gareth’s gaze slid down my body. God, I wanted nothing more than to cover myself then. I’d never been particularly good at making it to the gym on a regular basis, so there was a bit extra of me around my middle, ass, thighs . . . okay everywhere. Most men didn’t seem to mind, but I’d always been self-conscious about my weight.

“Very nice.” His words penetrated into me and I shivered.

Naked is as naked does, I guess.

“I want you to put your shoes back on and come over here.”

My ankles were protesting the return of the heels, but I wasn’t about to argue with him. It gave me a few precious seconds to register what was happening. Gareth had moved to the wall where there was a ring secured quite high up. I knew it was a spot where people could be secured, but there didn’t seem to be anything with which to bind me. Maybe that’s part of the advanced class. If I was very lucky and very good, maybe someday I’d get to take part.

I joined him by the wall, pleased that my ankles didn’t buckle as I crossed the room. Even in my shoes, Master Gareth was taller than me by a good four or five inches. Maybe he was trying to make sure I didn’t feel too threatened by his size out of the gate. I would have told him that regardless of my submissive tendencies, I’ve always had a thing for big men. The bigger the better, in my book. He was built like a brick shithouse, exactly the type of man I gravitated toward.

When I finally met his gaze once more, I could see something different. I’m not sure if he was simply happy to have a new playmate, or if I was so new I had that cute-puppy-dog look about me. Probably the latter. Connie always teased me about that.

“Liz, I want you to lift your hands above your head and press your back to the wall. I want you to stay there and not move.”

For once my mind stayed quiet as I did what he asked. The wall was cold and my nipples went instantly hard. They ached in that pleasant way and if he were to tweak them now, I would have been begging to get fucked.

Oh, shit, I didn’t even know if sex was on the agenda. Wouldn’t that be a letdown after getting naked and horny? Also a waste of a perfectly sexy man.

I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to watch him or not, but when he moved away toward the cupboard I couldn’t stop looking. What the hell did they have in there? My pussy felt swollen in anticipation. I hadn’t been this turned on in years, so much so, I think I could actually have had an orgasm from penetration. Normally I had to rely on either oral or my hand to get off. But nope, the mere sight of Gareth in front of what I assumed was a toy cupboard was enough to have me coming.