Substitute Daddy (6 page)

“They want me to check out of the hospital and go home, I know, and I told them I wasn’t doing it,” Grace said, and he could hear the stubbornness in her tone. “How can they expect me to leave her by herself?”

“Honey, look around. All these other parents had to check out weeks ago. Some of their babies have been here longer than Lilah. They need the room and the bed,” Matthew said gently.

“If the bill is too high, I can pay for it when I start working,” she said adamantly. “I’m not leaving her.”

“First, money is not an issue. Your bill has been taken care of. Second, Grace, you’re not leaving her. You can be here every day with her, but they need you to go home.”

“Then I’ll check out of the room, and I can stay in the waiting room.” Grace shook her head. “She had a hard way into this world, and it was due to me and Lance. I’m not going to let her down now.”

“Grace, you’re not letting her down. You’ve been here from the time you open your eyes until you fall asleep.” When she just shook her head, Matthew tried another tactic. “She needs you strong when she gets released and with how well she is doing, that’s going to be soon. You need to get the house ready for her—a nursery set up, milk, bottles, and diapers. You’ll want to have a routine ready when she comes home, not running around frantic. I already know you’re a planner, and right now you’re surviving on pure adrenaline. You can’t crash when Lilah is home.”

“But what if something happens?” Grace whispered. “What if I leave her and she gets sicker?”

Matthew crouched down beside her. “That won’t happen, and as she gets older you can’t watch her every minute of every day. She’s a survivor, Grace. Now you get to go home and make a place for her, okay?”

Graced nodded stiffly. “Okay, but you’ll be bringing me here every day to see her.”

“Sure, I’ll give you a lift. I’ve been coming here every day anyway.” He grinned. “So do I get to hold the little princess or what?”

“Yes, grab the free rocker and sit down, and Nurse Price will help get her settled in your arms. With all the tubes and stuff they want to do it carefully,” she explained.

That got her smiling again, and Matthew breathed a sigh of relief knowing he convinced her to leave without a big blow up. She called Nurse Price over, and when he was settled, Lilah was taken from Grace and placed in his arms. For a moment he forgot to breathe as he looked down at the baby in his arms. She was the tiniest thing he’d ever held, and he felt as if he moved even an inch it may cause her injury, so he did nothing but look down as she stared up at him with big brown eyes. In that moment he swore she could see him. Her tiny arms waved, and her mouth puckered up before she gave a soft cry.

“What did I do?” he asked in alarm.

“Nothing. She wants to be comforted, that’s all.” Grace leaned over and crooned in a soft voice, “Don’t you, sweet baby?”

“How do I do that?” he asked feeling helpless.

“Give her a gentle jiggle and talk to her. She’ll settle down,” Grace encouraged.

Matthew did as she explained and hummed, hoping to God the deep sound didn’t frighten the baby. Thankfully, Lilah seemed to settle down. He ran his finger along her tiny fingers, and she tried to grab on. She wasn’t even able to wrap her hand around the tip of his forefinger. He looked at the baby’s face and the tiny black curls peeking out from under the pink hat she wore. He could understand why Grace didn’t want to leave her. This was his first time holding her and he didn’t want to let her go either.

They spent another hour in the NICU before he convinced her to leave. Grace took her things from the room, but left the decorations and the tree for the next patient who would use the room. If the tiny bit of Christmas cheer made one expecting mother happy, well, he hoped it could do it for all of them. Matthew was already thinking of ways to keep her from worrying. In the car, on the way to the ranch, he handed her a stack of baby catalogs and on top laid a bank card.

“What’s all this?” she asked.

Matthew kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. “I went around town and picked up baby boutique catalogs and of course there’s always online shopping. The bank card is an account in your name. It has an advance for your job of being ranch manager, and Lance’s benefits get deposited monthly for Lilah.”

“What benefits?” Grace asked. “I never signed anything.”

“Lance had a life insurance policy, and apparently I was beneficiary. Knowing Lance, he never thought he’d die,” Matthew said. “I don’t want or need it, so it will be given for Lilah’s care in monthly increments. The remainder will be handed over when she is twenty-one. All the information is in a file at the house for you. I took the liberty of having everything from the apartment brought to the house, so whatever you don’t want set out, and we can have a ranch hand get rid of it.”

“Wow, my mind is reeling with all of this information,” Grace admitted. “I never had much so to go from that to having all of this makes me nervous. Tell me there is something written in the contract for repayment of my advance in there as well?”

“There is. I know how you are.” Matthew smiled. “Job requirements, pay amount, repayment plan, house deed, everything I spelled out when you first went into the hospital.”

“I’ll go over it in bed tonight,” she said.

Hearing the word bed come from Grace’s mouth caused a knee-jerk reaction of desire that Matthew pushed away instantly. He wanted her in more ways than one, but he wasn’t about to make her feel like she owed him anything. If it ever happened it would be on her terms.

The sun was setting as they pulled into the long driveway that led to the Ryder Ranch. The Christmas lights on the trees alongside the driveway lit up as soon as the sun set. All his decorations were on a timer so he wouldn’t have to run around turning on and off switches. His mother had loved the holidays, and when his parents were alive, his mother always made the ranch come alive with Christmas cheer. He kept up with her tradition even though it was just him now. It kept his parents’ memory alive in his heart and on the land they loved.

When Grace gasped in delight and leaned forward to see more, he was glad he kept up with it. The three large fir trees that were on the left side of the house were decorated like Christmas trees with lights, bulbs, and even tinsel. They were at least fifteen feet tall and they always needed one of the hay loaders to get the star on the top.

“This is so beautiful,” Grace said in awe. “It reminds me of Christmas Town, which is an area in Georgia where every house gets all decorated for Christmas and you can drive through and see it all. I used to go every year.”

“I can only imagine,” Matthew said and revealed more of himself to her. “My mom loved this season. On the rare occasions Nevada had snow, she’d stand on the patio and watch it for hours, and Dad would come out and wrap his arms around her. When Dad died she still did it and she’d wrap her arms around herself like she could still feel his arms. Two years after that she passed away too and going all out like this makes me feel closer to them.”

“That’s a beautiful story,” Grace said. “I never knew my dad. The only thing I know about my dad is that my mom always told me I’d be just like my deadbeat father each time she was upset with me, which was a lot. I wish Lilah would be home for Christmas. They don’t think so, but, still, I pray it happens.”

“Let’s both pray hard for that Christmas miracle,” Matthew said.

He drove past the main house to a smaller driveway that led to a two-story colonial style house. It was painted in white with dark green shutters. It used to be his mother’s studio, and then Lance took it over but never really used it. He never wanted it decorated, but when she accepted his offer to live there Matthew made sure it matched the rest of the property.

“I thought you said this was a guest house? I wasn’t expecting a studio,” Grace said when she stepped out of the SUV.

“Yes, it was my mom’s art studio,” Matthew said. “Hey, on this property this is considered small, okay? My mom asked for a studio and my dad built this.”

“You Ryder men don’t do things small it seems,” Grace said.

“Not when it comes to things that matter,” he answered, and she met his eyes before quickly looking away.

She felt it too. He was certain of it, but like breaking in a new horse one had to tread carefully and earn trust. They walked up the red brick and mortar steps to the verandah, and Matthew unlocked the door before handing her the keys. He flipped the power switches and flooded the house with warm, inviting light.

“It’s a three bedroom, two bathroom house. All bedrooms are upstairs,” Matthew explained. “The master bedroom is on the left, and the two small bedrooms are on the right. I had a housekeeping service come in and clean everything. The sheets and towels are all brand new and laundered. Keep what you like. Get rid of what you don’t. There is always a ranch hand around to help out, and Josef is the head ranch hand that runs everything and gives out duties. He can get you anything you need, and he’ll be coming to you for you to order items for the ranch on the budget.”

“Okay, it’s a lot to take in, but I got it all.” Grace gave a small incredulous laugh before giving him an impulsive hug. “Thank you for this, for all of it, and for being here for me and Lilah. Matthew, for the first time I feel like everything will work out and we’ll make it. I didn’t trust you when you first showed up, but you’ve been wonderful.”

“I will always be here for you both,” Matthew said huskily and reluctantly pulled away. “The fridge is fully stocked, and some fresh prepared meals are in the freezer in case you don’t want to cook. Lulu is the housekeeper so I told her about you, and she sent a few dishes by. You’ll meet her after the holidays.”

Grace nodded. “Okay, thank you again, Matthew. I’m going to take a shower and rest. I’m actually a bit tired. I want to call the NICU and check on Lilah too.”

Matthew grinned. “Don’t forget to eat somewhere in there.”

“I will eat too,” she promised.

Matthew turned to leave. “Do you have a driver’s license?”

“Yes. I was trying to save up for a used car after the dumpy car I owned died just as I was going to pack up and try to drive to Georgia. Just my luck huh? But food trumps vehicle, all the time,” Grace said. “I still can’t believe that Lance lied about all of this. Why would he be so…so mean? It’s like he expected me to earn things with sexual favors, and when I couldn’t because I was pregnant, he didn’t even pretend to care. Hell, it’s my fault too. I should’ve left long ago, but my options in Georgia weren’t any better.”

“I don’t know, but I sure as hell wish he was around to answer for it.” Matthew felt his anger start to simmer. “Okay, no more talk of the bad things. You have a new home, a baby coming home soon, and you need rest. I’ll be here tomorrow around noon to take you to the hospital.”

“Noon?” she said skeptically.

“The nurses asked me to keep you away for as long as possible,” Matthew teased, and when she looked at him in shock he said, “I’m kidding. I’ll come at eleven and no earlier. Eat, rest, and then get up and do it all over again.”

“Okay, eleven,” she agreed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Grace,” he said before she closed the door.

Matthew got behind the wheel of his vehicle and sighed, knowing sleep would be hard to find thinking about her so close and yet so far. Had he been too late and put in the friend zone?

The rest of the night was spent thinking on how he could let her know he had intentions but not scare the hell out of her. By two a.m. he was still up and none of his ideas seemed plausible, so he decided winging it was the best course of action. Sometimes you just have to grab the bull by the horns and hope to hell you don’t get thrown off.

Chapter Five

The days began to fall into a scheduled routine, and Grace was embracing her new life. In the morning she’d get up and make the house a homey feel with things that suited her. She used the bank card that Matthew had given her, and her mind boggled at the amount the teller quoted over the phone when she was setting up the online account. The teller broke the advance down into how much each scheduled payment would be that was for Lilah.

Grace made changes that made her more comfortable. She added a savings account, and the online teller transferred payments from Lance’s estate into that account. She had to live without his money while he was alive. She surely didn’t want it now that he was gone. Anything he had she would save for Lilah so she would have a good, solid start in life. She’d never know that the man who sired her didn’t want her. Instead, she’d go to the college of her choice and have the life she deserved.

Grace still beat herself up about how stupid she was to give up everything she’d worked for in Georgia to chase after Lance. But she was a girl who had never left Savannah and when offered a life somewhere where she wasn’t stifled by her mother’s criticisms, she took it thinking her life would become so much better. Lance was her big mistake, and she vowed not to make another one when it came to love. For now, she studied the workings of the ranch and learned her job. She’d met Josef, and he’d shown her the office at the main house. Matthew gave her the full tour later on and, for the first time in a long time, she felt as if she belonged somewhere.

The days were getting colder, and as she waited for Matthew to come pick her up to go see Lilah, she impulsively picked up the phone to call her mother. She wanted to tell her the baby was doing well in leaps and bounds and even though she had an early birth she would be fine. As she waited for her mother to pick up the phone, she considered asking Matthew to take her to town to look at used cars so she could buy a car. Lilah would have doctor appointments and such, and Grace didn’t want to depend on him to always take her. Josef said that Matthew traveled to New York a lot so definitely when he was not there she’d need transportation.

Her mother picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hi, Mama, it’s me,” Grace said.

“Oh, you, the daughter who let’s strange men talk to her mother however they like.”