Succubus Shadows (22 page)

“I did.”

“And you’ll send me to him—for a worthwhile amount of time?”

“Three days,” the demon said. He sounded irritable and impatient. I’d wondered if he’d been drinking this entire time and was angry at the interruption. “I want you back here in seventy-two hours, and you’re on your own as to how you do it. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I said eagerly. “Just send me to him.” I had to talk to him. I had to find out exactly what had happened. I had to make sure he was okay.

“And that settles the favor. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” I said. There was power in that word, just as there had been in Jerome’s initial promise. I could ask for nothing else.

“Then go,” he said.

I vanished from my living room……and reappeared on a busy sidewalk. People swarmed around me, none of them seeming to notice I’d appeared out of thin air. The sun was on its way down, but the sky was bright and clear—and hot. Very hot. The masses around me were dressed in beach clothes and had the feel of tourists. I stepped out of their path and found myself standing in front of a large, resort-type hotel.

The abrupt change in location—and discomfort of teleportation—had left me disoriented, and I needed to get my bearings. Taking in more of my surroundings, I could hear people speaking in both Spanish and English. I turned to the closest person near me, a short, deeply tanned man in a hotel uniform who was directing taxis around the building’s driveway.

I started to ask where I was and decided that would be a little too stupid sounding. I pointed at the hotel and asked him what its name was. I knew tons of languages perfectly, and Spanish rolled off my lips easily.

“
El Grande Mazatlán, señorita,
” he replied.

Mazatlán? This time, I did ask a stupid question:
“¿Estoy in México?”

He nodded, giving me the are-you-crazy look I’d expected. It was probably made worse by my jaw dropping.

Well, I supposed if you were going to run away, you should run away somewhere warm.

I
wandered into the hotel, still a bit stunned by the situation I found myself in. Seth was…in Mexico. Presuming Jerome was holding true to his bargain, of course. I had to believe he was, but the question was if he’d actually sent me near Seth. That was a wording in my request that could be blurred a little. Glancing up at the hotel, I hoped Jerome’s minions had gone as far as to search local hotels for Seth’s name when they tracked the plane ticket. With a quick smile to the man who’d helped me, I headed toward the hotel’s entrance.

In a place that catered to so many tourists, plenty of the staff spoke English, not that it mattered much to me. I went to the front desk, asking if they had a guest named Seth Mortensen. The woman working there looked it up, and when she found him in their computer, I caught my breath. He was here. I’d really found him.

Well, kind of. When I asked her for his room number, she told me the hotel couldn’t disclose that information. She could, however, connect me to his room. I hesitated before accepting. If Seth truly didn’t want to be found, he might change his hotel or even city once he knew I’d located him. Still, I didn’t necessarily have any other way to get in touch, so I let the woman connect me. It did no good. There was no answer.

Thanking her, I headed out to the back of the resort, figuring I’d walk off my frustration and hopefully clear my thoughts as I determined my next course of action. The pool and beach stretching out behind the building were intended for guests only, but it was easy enough to slip past security. I even took the opportunity, when briefly alone in a hall, to shape-shift into more appropriate clothing: a red bikini and sarong.

Outside, the heat hit me once again, and I paused, letting the sun soak into me. The time zone wasn’t far off from Seattle’s here, but even in early evening, the temperature was intense—which I loved. Beyond the pool and its bars, I could see a stretch of soft golden sand curving around blue, blue water. Still not as vivid as what I’d grown up with, but beautiful nonetheless. Lounge chairs and cabanas were scattered along the beach as sunseekers tried to grasp the last of the day’s rays.

I walked toward it, hoping to find a chair of my own and maybe a mai tai. If I wasn’t going to find Seth right away, I might as well—

There he was.

I came to an abrupt halt, nearly causing a young, giggling couple to walk into me and spill their drinks. I couldn’t believe it. God might work in mysterious ways, but Hell worked in efficient ones.

I murmured apologies to the couple and started toward Seth, stopping again after a few more steps. What would I do? What would I say? Seth had broken an engagement and fled from everyone he knew. Now, here I was, intruding on his escape. I’d run through a few mental scenarios but hadn’t decided on anything concrete. With a deep breath, I decided to just push forward and wing it.

I came up behind his chair, my shadow falling over him as I grew closer. He lay sprawled out in shorts and a Tootsie Pops T-shirt. A drink that looked suspiciously alcoholic sat by his side, and he was reading a book whose cover I couldn’t see from this angle. Once more, I halted, confused over how I felt.

“The perfume,” he said without warning. “Even out here, I can smell it. I’d know you anywhere. Tuberose and incense.”

I walked around, coming to stand off to his right side. I put my hands on my hips. “You don’t seem surprised to see me.”

He took off his sunglasses and studied me, one of those small, amused smiles on his face. “I am…and I’m not. I thought I did a good job of disappearing. But I knew if anyone did find me, it would be you.”

“Because I’m well connected?”

“Because you’re you.”

Searching for a clear spot of sand, I lowered myself to sit, but Seth scooted over on his lounge chair and indicated the space beside him. Hesitating only a moment, I sat next to where he lay, looking over him as our legs touched. He reached for his drink—a peach-colored monstrosity with enough sliced fruit for a salad in it—and took a sip.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“They call it
el Chupacabra.
”

“They do not.”

“They do. I think it’s got about fifty kinds of vodka in it. You’d like it.”

“I’m surprised
you
like it.”

“If you’re going to become a villain, you might as well go the whole way,” he replied, gesturing for a waiter to bring another drink.

“You’re not a villain,” I said softly.

“Yeah? Is that what they’re saying back home?”

I glanced away and watched small waves break on the shore. “I haven’t really talked to that many people. Mostly your family is worried.”

“You’ve neatly dodged the question.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I turned back to him.

He gave a small shrug. “What’s there to say? I broke her heart. I broke your heart. I don’t think someone like me is meant to be in relationships.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re not the one who sucks people’s souls away.”

“Depends how literally you take the metaphor.”

“Seth, stop. Stop making a joke out of this. Why’d you do it?”

“You have to ask?” The new drink arrived remarkably fast, and he handed it to me. He was right. It did taste like it had fifty kinds of vodka. “I didn’t feel it. Not the way I should. You know that.”

I did, and I was surprised at the frank and honest nature of our conversation. We hadn’t had anything like this…well, not since we were dating. It had all been awkwardness and guarded feelings since things fell apart.

“But why now?”

It was his turn to look away, gazing off at the postcard view without seeing it. The sunlight hadn’t quite turned orange yet, but it was bringing out the copper in his hair and amber of his eyes. I stared at him, taking it all in, hardly noticing how long it took him to answer.

“Georgina,” he said at last, eyes still elsewhere. “When I ended things with us at Christmas…I did it so I wouldn’t hurt you someday. And, I suppose, so you didn’t hurt me. I went to Maddie for the wrong reasons then, but it didn’t seem so bad since I actually cared about her—I mean, aside from the fact you had to live with it in front of you every day. I never meant for that part to happen.”

“It’s okay,” I said automatically, hating the sadness in his voice. “I don’t—”

“Shh,” he said, holding up a hand. “I’ll actually talk for once, so you better let me before I lose the nerve.”

I smiled—though none of this was all that funny—and nodded.

“Anyway, I wish I’d chosen someone I didn’t like or respect. It would have made things simpler. But as time went on, I found myself growing closer to her—but not farther from you. My plan wasn’t working. I was only hurting the two of us more and more. Maybe I should have disappeared then.”

I bit my lip on any comments.

“The only one who wasn’t hurting was Maddie—because we were keeping her in the dark. And after you and me…well, you know. After we were together, I felt so horrible…so guilty…I hated myself for what I’d done to her. I wanted desperately for one person to come out of this happy. I wanted her to stay in blissful ignorance. I wanted to make it up to her.”

I’d deduced as much. And I also knew about the guilt…the guilt from the sin that had left a stain on his soul. Seth didn’t know about that part and probably shouldn’t ever.

“But whatever happiness I could give her wasn’t real,” he continued. “And I realized that the other day when we were at Erik’s, and I…hell, Georgina. I don’t really know what happened or even what I saw. There are only two things I’m sure about. One was that when Jerome came and said he needed me to come with him to help you, I did. If he’d said he had to take me to Hell itself, I would have.”

I closed my eyes. “Seth—”

“And when I was there and Erik sent me wherever he did, I felt…well, it was beyond anything I’d experienced. At first, I was so confused and disoriented. I didn’t get what they were saying about finding you. It seemed surreal. Then, it was the easiest thing in the world. I just looked for you, and there you were. In all that space and all that chaos, reaching you was like looking into myself. We were so close…it defied physics and every rule of nature I knew. It didn’t seem real that I could be together with anyone like that.

“And when it was over, it’s like I said—I wasn’t sure what I’d just been a part of. But I knew that I had never experienced any bond like that with any other woman. Maybe you’re the only one, maybe there’s another…but regardless, I didn’t have it with Maddie. She’s amazing. I do love her. But in that situation again? I would never find her. And I knew it wasn’t fair to lead her into a life without that connection. You and I…I don’t understand what’s between us, but I’d rather spend my life alone than with someone who isn’t you.”

He fell silent, and it was one of those weird times where I had no quick response. Instead, I linked my hand with his and stretched alongside him in the place he’d made on the chair, resting my head on his chest. He placed his hand on my shoulder, his fingers pressing into my skin to make sure I stayed. His heart beat against my ear.

“How’s this going to end?” I asked bleakly.

“I…don’t know, any more than I know how Cady and O’Neill are going to end.” He sighed. “I have a feeling I
will
be alone. In spite of everything that’s changed between us, nothing’s actually changed.”

“I…I don’t know.”

Again, my clever words were gone, but he was right. A lifetime seemed to have passed since we had split up, but all the same problems were still there. I might wax poetic about the universal connection of our souls, but it could never be matched physically, not so long as I refused him that. And mortality…always there was mortality beating down upon us. Seth wouldn’t live forever, and that knowledge—figuratively speaking—killed me.

Which reminded me of something. I lifted my head and propped myself onto him so that my hair hung around us as I looked down at his face. “When are you coming home?”

He brushed some of the hair away, tucking it behind my ear. It came loose again. “Who said I’m coming home?”

“Don’t joke. You have to.”

“I’m not joking. Do you think I can go back there? I can’t see Maddie…. I can’t stand to see what I’ve done to her.”

“You don’t have to see her,” I said. “Don’t go to the store. People break up all the time and don’t have to move.”

Seth shook his head. “Yeah, but with my luck, we’d still run into each other. At a movie. A restaurant. Something. I’m a coward, Georgina. I don’t want to see her…not after…well, you didn’t see her face when I told her.”

“I saw her face afterward,” I said. “It was probably close enough. I can’t believe you’re seriously saying you’d never come back to Seattle just to avoid her.”

“She’s not the only one I’d be avoiding.” Again, he tried to tuck the unruly hair back. When he failed again, he simply slid his hand down my arm, tracing its curves with his fingertips. “I don’t think I can handle seeing you either. Even being with you now…it’s like the best thing in the world and the worst. Seeing you all the time would just drive home how we can’t be together—and we
would
see each other all the time, you know. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that fate doesn’t let you and me stay apart for long.”

Seth’s words were such an odd contradiction. On one side, they were all filled with love and romantic sentiment about how agonizing his life was without me. Yet…there was more than just that. There was a defeatist attitude throughout it all, one I’d never seen in him before. Somewhere in all of this, Seth had gained a new bitterness, and I had the uneasy thought that if I could see his soul like Hugh could, the stain of sin would be even darker than before. I made one more attempt.

“Pull me out of the equation. You have to go back for your family. They need you. Andrea’s sick.”

“Everyone gets sick. That’s not a convincing argument.”

“No…you don’t understand. They didn’t tell you. She doesn’t have the flu…she’s got cancer.”

That got a reaction. His expression went rigid. “No, she doesn’t.”

“She does. Brandy told me.”

“She must have been confused,” he said adamantly. “They would have told me.”

“I don’t think she’d mistake ‘cold’ for ‘ovarian cancer.’ And do you think she’d make something like that up?”

He considered a moment. “No, no, she wouldn’t. But why didn’t they say anything?”

“I guess they didn’t tell anyone so they could find out more. Don’t you see?” I leaned closer, hoping to drive home my plea. “They need you. You have to go home for them.”

For a moment, I thought I had him, and then he slowly shook his head. “They’ll be fine without me. And you said yourself they’re waiting to find out more. It might not be that bad.”

“Seth! It’s cancer. It’s going to be some level of bad, regardless. How can you abandon them?”

“Damn it,” he said, about as angry as I ever saw him—which always came off pretty mild. “I don’t need a moral angel on my shoulder right now. Just let me…just let me be selfish for once. I want to just be away from it all. I want to hide from my problems for once, instead of always being the responsible one. If you’re just here to torment me with what can or can’t be, then you should just…you should just go. Let me hide out and be free. Let me write the new series and forget about everything else.”

It was almost a mirror of what I’d done so long ago. Only, instead of trying to forget my problems, I made everyone forget me. Sometimes, I kind of wished I added that last part to the bargain. Consequently, I could understand where he was coming from. I could understand that longing to just make all the bad things disappear. I’d wanted it too. I’d
made
it happen. The thing was, I’d expected more from him than from me. Sensing my hesitation, he cupped my face between his hands and drew me down into a small kiss. I drew back and stared in astonishment.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I might ultimately be trying to avoid you, but if I’ve got you now, I might as well enjoy it for the moment.” There was a wicked gleam in his eyes, one I couldn’t help but smile at, despite all the misgivings within me.