Succumbing To His Fear
Read Succumbing To His Fear Online
Authors: River Mitchell
Succumbing To His Fear
Author: River Mitchell
Published By: Via Star Wings Books
Copyright © February 2016
Edited By: Ally Editorial Services
http://allyeditorialservices.weebly.com/
Cover Art By: Jay Aheer of Simply Defined Art
Formatting & Illustrations By: Fancy Pants Formatting
http://www.fancypantsformatting.com
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There are so many people that deserve praise and thanks so here goes.
First and foremost I would like to say a humungous thank you to my guardian angel Adrienne. Without her my dream of becoming an Author would never have become a reality. “You are fluffing awesome.”. Speaking of awesome people, Tim from Via Star Wing Books. Not only did you put up with my crazy, you have been with me on this journey every step of the way. Thank you.
Thank you Jay Aheer for creating the amazing cover. You are a design genius. Tina Adamski the editor of champions. Thank you for helping make this book the best it can be. You took the words of a complete novice with severe dyslexia and turned them into something I am so deeply proud of. P.s I am really so for the headaches.
Alexa Land, Hannah Walker and Lila Rose three incredibly talented authors who were always there with advice or an ear for a chat. You ladies are what I aspire to be. You all rock!
Lastly I would like to thank you, the person that bought the book. This is my dream. A chance to share my stories, and thanks to you, I can do it. I truly hope you enjoy it.
Lots of love,
River xx.
Alfie
Life can change in an instant. One minute I was an average twenty-four-year-old. Going to work, hanging out with friends, and doing what typical twenty-somethings do. Then, late one Thursday night, I received a phone call and was completely blindsided, my life flipped upside down.
My father, the great and wonderful Alfred McKenzie, Senior, only stuck around until I was the ripe old age of five. At that point, the bright lights and the lure of reaping a fortune became too much for him to resist, so off he went, never to be seen again. I got an odd birthday card or phone call over the years, but I don’t think either of us tried very hard to keep in contact. Maybe it would’ve been different if Mum hadn’t taken me back to London with her, but deep down, I don’t believe he would’ve made any more of an effort if I had lived next door. The idea of him going to the trouble of jumping on a plane and traveling to a different continent to visit me was clearly out of the question.
You’d think that nineteen years would be long enough for me to have let go of any Daddy issues that I might have been holding onto, but when I heard the news that my father had been killed in a car accident, the grief was immediate. I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut. My first thought was that I would never have the opportunity to get to know the man who’d donated his sperm to create me. It shocked the shit out of me how much it actually hurt. What made that pain worse was that he had a wife and two kids who I knew nothing about. A whole new family, which he didn’t feel that I was good enough to be a part of, or even know.
To say that I didn’t cope very well when I found out would be a radical understatement. The culmination of the revelations hit me like a sledgehammer and I suffered a mini breakdown. Or, as my mother would say, I had an Alfie Attack.
I’ve suffered from panic attacks for most of my life. They varied in severity from causing difficulty in breathing to withdrawing into myself and shutting everyone out. They began when I was in an accident when I was eight and a drunk driver ran a red light, smashing into my mum’s car and two others. The multiple therapists who I was sent to after the attacks started diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder that manifests in a number of delightful ways. The attacks were triggered when I felt a loss of control.
Okay, so when I said I was an average twenty-four-year-old it may have been wishful thinking on my part.
Most of the time I can control my condition well enough to hide it. Only my best friend Eddie, Mum and Mum’s husband, Ben, know how much I’ve struggled. Finding out just how far out of control my life was after Dad’s death sent me into a tailspin of loss, anger, and a ton of fear.
The latter came from the knowledge that my two siblings, who I had only just learned existed, were currently in the care of the state, awaiting my arrival and their subsequent rescue. Seemed that Daddy fucking dearest left a stipulation in his will that if anything were to happen to him and his wife, he wanted me to take custody of the children. This from the man who couldn’t even tell me I had a brother and sister. I mean, would it really have been out of the question to give a guy a heads up? A letter, smoke signals, a phone call saying, “I know you haven’t heard from me since you were a child, but do me a solid and look after the kids I chose to hang around for if my wife and I pop our clogs.” Nothing!
Even my mother, the queen of crazy town, was taken aback by what Dad and his wife, Claire, had done. It all made sense upon finding out I wasn’t chosen because of any family bond or love he felt toward me. I was simply the only choice. Neither Claire nor Alfred, Senior had any other relatives they considered worthy. The warm and fuzzy feelings that news gave me lasted all of a second.
The anger that followed quickly on their warm, fuzzy heels was so strong; I actually thought my head would explode. I mean, who does that? He couldn’t be bothered to tell me about my siblings, but expected me to raise them. If I had the chance to see him again, my first order of business would be to smash his face in.
Yes, I was 24, and technically an adult, but being a pseudo-dad to my long-lost siblings was not something I was ready for.
When I thought things couldn’t get worse—yes, there was more. It was also stipulated in the will that the children were to remain in the States. I was expected to move, and remain there until both children finished their high school educations. I, of course, had the right to decline the request, but that would force the children to remain in the custody of the state and risk being split up. Both my mother and I hated the thought of that; none of what was happening was their fault.
Not only had they lost both parents, but they were somewhere that I was sure was scary. Did they even know what was happening? They were facing the possibility of being separated from the only other person they had left in the world, excluding me. It wasn’t even clear from the will if they knew about me.
After about a million talks with both Mum and Ben, we decided that we’d all go to America. Milford, Pennsylvania, to be precise, and see if this was something that I could even attempt to take on.