Succumbing To His Fear (4 page)

“Those are some nice illustrations. Who was your artist?” James asked, leaning across the table to get a better look.

“A friend from back home. I drew up what I wanted and he inked it for me.” One second I was showing my arm to James, Tate and Carter and the next my arm was held in what only can be described as a bear’s grip, which sent searing heat into my body. Another reaction I wasn’t expecting and definitely didn’t understand.

“You drew these?” he asked with, if I wasn’t mistaken, a ton of doubt in his voice.

“Yeah,” I replied. It was the only answer he was getting. I had nothing to prove to this guy. Something about him was getting under my skin. The staring, the voice, the name, my reaction to his touch, the fact that he was practically a fucking mountain with legs. It was enough to make me batty. The doubtful tone, combined with the death grip he had on my arm and my still whirling emotions, were really starting to piss me off. 

After what felt like an eternity, he finally let go of my arm, adding no further comment. I looked across the table, avoiding Fear’s penetrating gaze, just in time to see James and Carter share a look. Both wore identical smirks on their faces. Tate wasn’t so subtle, he laughed out loud. I was unsure what I’d missed, but I got the feeling that the sudden hilarity was at my expense. And didn’t that just suck big hairy balls. 

“You leave a girlfriend behind when you made the move Alfie?” Tate asked when he finally stopped laughing at whatever it was that had passed between the guys. I wasn’t sure where that question came from, but the looks being passed around the table were causing me to move from mildly pissed to angry.

“No, she left me when I agreed to take on responsibility for these two. I get it, she didn’t sign on for that when we got together,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t even attempt to hide the anger in my voice when I saw and heard the sniggers and smug expressions being passed back and forth among the three men.

“Okay, well it was nice to meet you, but I better be getting these guys home. Today has been a big day for all of us,” I said, starting start to stand while reaching into my pocket for my wallet. I wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there. 

“I got this,” Fear said while holding his hand out. “Here’s my business card with the shop’s address. Drop by and see us sometime. Bring some of your artwork.” Before I could consider refusing his offer, he stood and walked to the register.
Well don’t I feel dismissed! Whatever, I have more important things to think about. One being getting the hell out of here.
I didn’t like being the butt of anyone’s jokes, especially people who didn’t know me. Fuck them and what they thought.

I thanked them for the food and said goodbye before herding the Nuggets to the exit and then the car as quickly as possible. I don’t think it was lost on any of them that I was pissed. I’m not very good at hiding it. My mum, Ben, and Eddie have all told me that my face is an open book. It wasn’t like I couldn’t take a joke. I could, just not when it came with snide looks and felt like it was intended to be malicious. Maybe I was being a Sensitive Sally, but with everything else that was happening, I could only take so much. I really didn’t want to lose it over something so stupid, so the best course of action was to remove myself from the situation completely.

I had just started getting the kids in the car when hairs on the back of neck stood up again. I knew Fear was watching me. What shocked the shit out of me, though, was that it didn’t feel creepy. It felt unnerving sure, but creepy no. I was not prepared to analyze whatever his gaze was making me feel while standing in the middle of the diner parking lot. I chose to ignore it altogether, continuing to strap the kids into their seats and jump in the car. The sooner we got home and away from there, well… him, the better. I purposely avoided looking in Fear’s direction and steered the car to the exit.

I decided to erase the whole diner excursion from my mind.
I mean, it is not like I’ll ever see him or any of them again right?

Fear

“You know that we pissed him off don’t you?” James said to Tate.

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t him; it was that Fear kept looking at him like he was his next meal and the poor guy had no idea.”

He was standing outside the diner waiting for his friends to stop talking shit—well, more like brothers from different mothers given that they all grew up together in a group home.
I love them, I really do, but right now, I could beat the hell out of all three of them. They made that poor guy feel like shit and on top of everything, they chased him off. Fuckers!
He was gorgeous. Those green eyes and full lips, that messy hair and cute button nose. The way he stepped up for his family and took responsibility for those two little kids. He couldn’t be much older than his early twenties.
And when I touched his skin, I felt it in my bones.

“Did you see his artwork? It was amazing. We should have him come down the shop and see if he wants to learn the biz. We were just saying the other day that we need an apprentice.” James’s only response to Tate’s comment was a very annoying snort. Carter, however, didn’t hold his tongue.

“Yeah, that would have been good if you hadn’t pissed him off and practically run him out of here. Maybe then we could have offered him a job.”
I’ve heard enough from these idiots.

“I’m heading back to the shop. Later.” Not even bothering to wait for them to respond, I just walked away and got in my truck. As soon as I closed and locked the door, I smiled. I wondered how long it’d take them to realize that I was their ride. Served them right. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I heard them shouting my name, running after the truck.
Have a nice walk, fuckers!

The shop was quiet when I walked in; my sister was sitting behind the reception desk talking to a couple of kids who were trying to convince her they were 18.

“No ID, no tattoo, boys.” They turned around ready to argue, but one look at me and they decided against it and quickly walked out of the shop. I know what I look like. I came across as very intimidating at six-foot-eight, 280 pounds of muscle, long hair with a face they tell me always looks mean. My sister calls me a misunderstood giant. She’s obviously insane, but I know what she meant. To put it simply, if I care about you, I would lay down my life to protect you. If I don’t, I really couldn’t give a shit. Does that make me an asshole? Maybe. But I’d been forced to learn at a young age that if you allow too many people into your inner circle, you open yourself up to getting hurt or let down all the more.

Walking back to my station, I decided to get prepped for a client who’s due in a couple hours. I knew she would follow me. I heard her talking to Drake, one of my other tattooists, then the door lock being turned. It wasn’t long before she came walking down the corridor. There was something she’d been wanting to talk to me about all morning. Looked like she finally worked up the courage to say what it was.

“What is it, Hayley?” I looked at her, fidgeting from foot to foot. Fuck, it could only be about one thing. I hated that our mother used Hayley to pass me messages. No, fuck that, I just hated our mother. Mommy dearest was a fucking mess. When she had Hayley, she was a normal mom; or so Hayley told me.

She and Dad lived together in a small house on the outskirts of town. They were both happy about the pregnancy and for a while, things were pretty good. Fast-forward five years, Mom was pregnant with me, and Dad was a semi-functional drunk. He could barely hold onto a job for more than a couple of months. Mom was also drinking a lot. By the time I was nine Dad was gone, Mom was in and out of rehab and I was basically being raised by Hayley. When I started to get into trouble, Hayley tried her best, but she was only a kid herself and I ended up being taken away from Mom and placed in the group home where I stayed until I was 18.

Mom liked to pretend that none of it ever happened, and that she was and is the best mother in the world. I hated fake and refused to allow it. Hayley just wanted a quiet life and let it slide. Mom was still a heavy drinker, but we’d gotten used to that over the years. The only reason she came sniffing around, playing the Stepford mother is because she needed money and whatever man she was currently fucking refused to give her any, or he had enough of her and left. I refused to play her game.

“If what you are about to say has anything to do with Tula, Hayley, just keep it to yourself. I’m really not in the mood to deal with her shit today.” I knew it wasn’t her fault and felt like shit for snapping at my sister as soon as I did it. “I’m sorry H. What is it?” I heard Hayley sigh and wished I hadn’t asked.

“She’s in trouble. That man she was seeing is a real piece of work. I think he’s hitting her or something.” I wasn’t falling for it. She tried that before, told me she was being beaten. Turned out that he wasn’t hitting her, but she’d stolen from him and done a runner. I had to pay him back the two grand she stole. Of course, when the debt was paid she was off without even a thank you.

“What makes you say that?” I asked as Hayley dropped down into the chair by the door of my station.

“She asked if she could stay with me for a few days. She said she was afraid to go home. I told her she couldn’t because John would lose his shit if I let her in the house, especially with him being away.” Good. My sister’s husband was currently serving in the Army overseas. He hated our mother as much as I did. If he found out his pregnant wife had let the devil in the door, he would fly back just to spank her ass.

“And?” I asked, knowing there had to be more.

“She wanted me to ask you if she could stay with you. Before you go off,” H added quickly, “I told her that you would say no, but she seemed really scared and made me promise to ask. So here I am asking. There I did it. Phew.” She pretended to wipe her brow. She’s a nut.

“Okay H, you kept your promise and asked me. You can stop stressing about it now. My little niece or nephew needs nutty Mommy to keep stress free.” She laughed at me and rubbed her stomach. I worried about her going through the pregnancy with John being away. She had me and the other idiots who she’d kind of adopted, but it wasn’t the same as having your other half there.

My mind automatically thought of the diner guy and his little brother and sister. Him being here all alone, no friends or family around. I had no idea why I felt strangely protective of him and couldn’t help but get pissed at Tate and the boys again for making him feel self-conscious and leave.

“Thanks for leaving us behind, fucker,” Carter said, walking up to my station.

“Apologize to him Tate, you’re the one who was laughing at the poor guy. I can’t deal with Fear being a moody fucker for the rest of the day because you upset his crush. I have two clients coming in back to back in a couple of hours. It’s already going to be a long night, do not make it worse for me. And why was the fucking door locked?” Hayley put her hands on her hips.
Oh, here we go.

“As you asked so nicely James Noble, I will tell you why the door is locked. When Fear got back, Drake went for food, and seeing as none of you have appointments for a couple of hours and couldn’t take walk-ins, I locked it so I could come back here and have a conversation with my baby brother. Now do you want to tell me what you all did to piss him off?” Big sister to the rescue, she loved the guys but she wouldn’t take shit off any of them. I think that’s why they loved her just as much as she loved them.

“Fear fell in love at the diner and Tate pissed his dreamboat off, making him leave,” Carter helpfully explained.
Great, that’s all I need.

“Hey, you can’t put all this on me. Fear was looking at him like he was about to jump him right there in front of the kids and the entire diner. Besides, he’s straight, you all heard him say that he just broke up with his girlfriend.” Hayley was looking at Tate while he tried to defend himself.

“What the hell did I miss?” she asked.

“Nothing. They’re talking shit as usual,” I replied, trying to end the conversation before it got started. Of course, it didn’t work and the guys went on to tell Hayley the whole story. I swear they were worse than a bunch of fucking gossipy old women.

“He’s here all alone taking care of two kids he has only known about for a few months. Wow.” She shook her head, then looked at the three idiots

“So let me get this straight. First, he talks to you even after you caused injury to his little brother. Second, you get to know him by making fun of him and making him feel so uncomfortable that the only option left to him was to leave. You don’t think he’s going through enough? Nice work, guys. Really.” Tate had the good grace to look ashamed, the big softy.

“The kid falling over really was an accident. And I didn’t make fun of him. I was making fun of Fear. Fuck!” Tate was starting to get upset. He had the biggest heart out of all of us. “Fuck! I’m a dick,” he muttered, sitting down heavily in the chair Hayley just vacated.

“Yes, but you’re
our
dick. Wait that came out wrong. I just meant I know you didn’t do it to hurt him, but I can understand how someone who is under that amount of pressure and was honest and open with you all would feel like he was at the center of your joke.” Hayley walked over to Tate and gave him a hug. “If you see him again, just remember, he’s alone here and could probably use a friend, and you’re a really good one to have.” With her pep talk done, she gave us all a smile and wave. I watched her walk away feeling proud. She would be a great mom.

Later that night, I was finishing up my last client of the evening when I heard shouting and cussing coming from the front. I knew the voice right away. Fuck, I was not in the mood to deal with her shit. Thank fuck I’d already taken Hayley home and told her not to answer her door.

“I need to talk to my son. Why are you keeping him from me? He would want to see me.”
Not fucking likely
. I heard James trying to reason with her, but he only made her worse. I did my best to tune her out until I finished and dressed my client’s new tattoo. I walked him to the front of the shop and cashed him out all while ignoring the banshee that James managed to wrangle outside the shop.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I walked out to talk my mother. “What the fuck?” She looked at me and shut right the fuck up. Her hair was greasy and hanging limply around her face. Her make-up was caked on, like she hadn’t washed it off in a week, just kept piling more of that shit on. Her clothes were hanging off her body.
Fuck, she’s looking more and more like a junkie every time I see her. What a fucking mess.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, coming here, causing drama?”
Fuck, she looks like shit. Drunk off her ass and bringing her problems to my shop.
“You come here to my place of business drunk, shouting, and causing a major scene.” I looked at her with disgust, not that she noticed.

“I need help,” Tula screamed at the top of her lungs.

“What do you need help with?” I asked, knowing that I wasn’t getting rid of her until she’d had her say. I managed to keep my voice calm and steady. I wasn’t going to be drawn into anything with her.

“I need money. I need to get out of town. Mike, he beat me and he said he was going to kill me.”
Here we go. I know Mike, he’s a bastard, but he wouldn’t do something without cause.

“Why? What did you do?” She looked stunned for a moment, as if she hadn’t expected me to ask. Silence followed and I could tell she was trying to figure out what lie to tell me next.

“I didn’t do nothing. He’s crazy. Are you going to give me the money?” I stood, shaking my head at the woman who brought me into the world. It wasn’t right to be so ashamed of your parent.

“No, but what I will do is talk to Mike and find out what the fuck is going on.” I walked away from her and pulled out my cell phone. Mike answered on the third ring. 

“Yeah?” he barked.

“Mike, it’s Fear. You want to tell me why Tula is telling me and everyone who’ll listen that you beat her and want to kill her?” I was pretty sure he could hear Tula screeching in the background, but he ignored her, same as me.

“That woman is bat shit crazy. She stole some shit from Shutter and now he wants it back. I ain’t getting involved in it, Fear. Tula ain’t nothing but trouble. I’m done with her.”

“What the fuck did she take, and why the fuck is she around Shutter in the first fucking place?” I couldn’t believe this shit. Shutter was not someone that you fuck with. He’s a hard-core dealer.