Sue (3 page)

By mid afternoon the room had been
transformed from a child’s room to an adult’s. Sue and her parents stood
surveying their work.

“Are you happy, baby?” her dad
asked.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she
looked around. “Happy? Yes. I’m happy.” But she wasn’t. Not even close.

Chapter 5

A few days later, Sue sat at her
computer and checked several more sites. The bell rang and she jumped, even
though she was expecting the visitor. She peered through the window before
opening the door. A man about her age stood on the porch. He wore a heavy coat,
blue jeans, a stocking cap, and glasses that gave him a studious look. Melvin
was here to escort her to her first appointment with the therapist recommended
by her family doctor.

Sue opened the door.

“Hi.” He shifted nervously from one
foot to the other. “I’m Melvin.”

“I know,” Sue said coldly and
gestured for him to enter. She turned around to get her coat.

Melvin ignored the snub as he
walked inside. He was tall and lanky. Light brown shaggy hair fell from beneath
his cap and over his coat collar. “So, I’m supposed to go with you to an
appointment. Do you want to take your car or mine?”

She bristled at his nearness and
took a step back. “Mine. Wait here.”

“Mine’s already warmed up.”

“I said, we’ll
take mine.”
Pulling on her gloves, she made a wide circle around him and
ducked outside.
I’ll be damned if I’ll let some man I hardly know drive me
around again. I’m in control now.
She started her car and scraped the snow
from the windows. Turning back to the house, she found Melvin keeping a
protective eye on her from the front porch. He backed into the house at her
approach.

Gently wiping her feet on the
doormat to remove the snow, she reentered the house. Melvin stripped off his
hat, static electricity causing his hair to stand on end. He looked ridiculous.

“Might as well
sit down.
It’s going to take my car a few minutes to warm up.” Sue flung
her coat on the chair and walked over to stand by the window.

Melvin removed his coat and sat
gingerly on the edge of the sofa. He wore a long-sleeved green t-shirt with a
pair of squinty eyes printed in black on the front pocket.

Sue pointed at the shirt, keeping
her eyes trained on the pocket. “What’s that supposed to be?”

Melvin looked down, as if he hadn’t
seen the shirt before.

What a buffoon
. Sue pursed
her lips in annoyance.

“Oh, the eyes.”
He smiled shyly. “Private eyes, you know.
Because I work for
a detective agency.”
He trailed off uncertainly at her steely look.
“It’s just...kind of a thing. That’s all.
Supposed to be
funny.”

She remained silent.

“I guess it’s not.” He shifted
uncomfortably. “Well, anyway, do you think your car is warmed up enough?”

“No. But let’s leave anyway. I want
to get this over with.” She reached for her coat, sighed, and turned to face
him. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.” She rubbed her eyes. Four
nights with little sleep had left them dry and tired. “Let’s just go, okay?”

Melvin shrugged and grabbed his
coat. They stepped outside and she locked the door behind them. Head down, she
trudged toward her car. Melvin pulled on his stocking cap and shoved his arms
in his coat sleeves as he hurried to catch up with her.

They got into the vehicle and Sue rubbed
her gloved hands in front of the heater vent. As she buckled up, she glared at
Melvin. “Do you smoke?”

“No, why?”

“Because I don’t
allow smoking in this car.
So don’t light up.”

“Well, okay. But, I wouldn’t. I
don’t smoke.” He pulled the seatbelt over his lap and hooked it. He looked at
her, his brown eyes searching her face. “So, can I say something?”

Sue paused, her hand on the
gearshift. “What?”

“I get the feeling you don’t want
me here.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want; my
folks want you here.” She put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway
into the street. She avoided looking in his direction during the short ride to
the doctor’s office.

Sue signed in at the desk of the
mental health center and sat down to wait. Melvin grabbed a magazine and
dropped into the seat next to her. Sue glanced at the shared armrest and edged
over to avoid contact with his elbow. Her heart beat an unpleasant rhythm in
anticipation of the upcoming appointment.

The receptionist called her name
and Sue startled, looked around at the few other people waiting, and ducked her
head as if embarrassed. No one paid attention to her as she followed the woman
down the hallway to an open door. Tapping gently on the frame, the receptionist
announced her arrival and motioned Sue to enter.

Whatever Sue had expected a
therapist’s office to be, this certainly wasn’t it. The walls were painted in
loud colors and crowded with bold pop art paintings. The lighting was bright
and the furniture desperately glam. A cone of incense glowed in a moon-shaped
burner on a shelf, filling the air with its sickening sweet odor. Sue was
immediately uncomfortable and her anxiety intensified when a young woman with
long blonde hair rose from behind her glass-topped desk and came forward, hand
outstretched. “Hello, Sue. I’m Candace Goldberg. You can call me Candy.”

Sue paled, reminded of a woman by
that name she and Zeke had met on their trip and later fantasized about. She
took a few steps back. Wheeling around, she looked for the receptionist. But she
had already gone. Facing the therapist once again, Sue drew in a shaky breath.
“This isn’t going to work out,” she said, voice trembling. “I’m sorry.” Without
giving the woman a chance to respond, Sue turned and fled back the way she’d
come.

Melvin looked up in surprise when
Sue raced across the waiting room. She darted out the door and Melvin tossed
his magazine on his seat as he hustled to follow her. When she reached her car,
she unlocked the door, got in, and started the engine. She automatically put on
her seatbelt, put the vehicle in reverse, and nearly jumped out of her skin
when Melvin tapped on the window of the passenger door. Rolling her eyes at her
oversight, Sue hit the button to unlock the door. “Sorry. I forgot you were
with me.”

Melvin was quiet as he folded his
long frame into the seat and closed the door. “You forgot I was here?”

“It’s nothing against you. I just
needed to get out of there.” Sue backed out of the parking space and pulled out
into the street.

“It was a really short appointment.”
Melvin tried to joke. “How did she make you mad so fast?”

“I’m not mad. And I don’t want to
talk about it.” Sue glanced in her rearview mirror before switching lanes. She
brought a shaky hand to her forehead and took several deep breaths.

“Okay. So, where are we going now?”
Melvin squinted at the street.

“My doctor.
My regular one.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Because I want
to know why he recommended that stupid therapist!”

“What was wrong with her?”

“I thought I said I don’t want to
talk about it.”

Melvin sighed. “Well, what do you
want to talk about?”

“Nothing.”

Sue slid a CD into the stereo and
the soothing strains of New Age music filled the car.

“That’s interesting music,” Melvin
ventured.

“No, it’s not,” Sue snapped. “And
that’s why I like it. It’s bland. It doesn’t remind me of anything.”

Neither she nor Melvin spoke again
until she had reached the office of her general practitioner.

“Wait here,” she told Melvin,
turning off the music. “I’ll leave the keys so you can keep the heater
running.”

Inside, she insisted on speaking to
the doctor immediately, her cheeks red with distress. The receptionist lifted
the phone and had a quiet conversation. Almost at once her doctor’s nurse
appeared and directed her to a small exam room. She asked why Sue needed to see
Dr. Wan.

Sue shook her head, sweat
glistening on her forehead. “It’s personal.”

“Personal in what
way?”
The nurse slipped a blood pressure cuff on Sue’s arm and inflated
it until it was tight.

“It’s just something I need to
speak to my doctor about. Not to you.”

There was a moment of silence
during which the nurse recorded her findings and Sue fidgeted.

“These are pretty high numbers.”
The nurse turned to her patient, expecting a response. Sue grabbed the sides of
her head, jumped from the table, and started pacing. With a concerned look in
Sue’s direction, the nurse hurriedly left, shutting the door behind her.

Within minutes, a harried Dr. Wan
entered the room, wearing a puzzled look. “I was with another patient, Sue.
What’s the emergency?”

“I can’t see the therapist you sent
me to, Dr. Wan.” Tears rolled unchecked down Sue’s cheeks.

Dr. Wan pulled a tissue from a box
on the counter and handed it to her.
“Why not?
I
thought you’d hit it off with her. She’s young and enjoys working with younger patients.”

Sue ticked off her complaints on
her fingers. “Number one, she’s
too
young and that’s a problem not a
plus. She doesn’t look much older than me. And number two, her office isn’t
relaxing. It’s garish. And it smells. I wasn’t comfortable there.”

Dr. Wan raised his eyebrows, but
listened in silence.

“And I hate her name,” Sue blurted,
then
realized how ridiculous that sounded. “I mean,
she didn’t act like a doctor.
Wanted me to use her first
name.
I just didn’t like that.”

Patting her shoulder, Dr. Wan said,
“Given the way you feel, I can see we need to look at other options.”

“Yes. Thank you.” Sue wiped her
eyes, calming down. She sat on one of the two chairs in the room and toyed with
the tissue. “I don’t even know why it bothered me so much.”

“No matter.
We need to choose a therapist you’re comfortable with.” Scrutinizing her face,
Dr. Wan asked, “Are you still having trouble sleeping?”

“Yes.” Sue drew in a breath.
“Quite a bit, actually.”

“I could prescribe something...”

“No,” Sue cut him off.
“No drugs, please.
Just...can you recommend someone else for
me to talk to?”

Dr. Wan rubbed his chin
thoughtfully. “I’m leaning toward Matrice Camden, a personal friend of mine.
Maybe she’s more what you’re looking for. She’s mature, calm, and exceptionally
qualified.
Very level-headed.”

“That’s good. Mature is good.” Sue
brightened.

“If you’ll go back to the waiting
area, I’ll see if my nurse can get an appointment scheduled for you.” He gave
Sue a kind smile. “I’ll see you at your next follow-up appointment, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Doctor. I’m sorry
about bursting in on you like this.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dr. Wan
opened the door and gestured toward the waiting room.

Sue found Melvin near the reception
area, tossing her keys lightly from one hand to the other. A flash of annoyance
crossed her features, but she said nothing. Before long the nurse came out and
handed her a card with Dr. Camden’s address and an appointment date. She gave
Sue a friendly pat on the arm before disappearing down the hall. Sue strode
toward the door, Melvin following.

On the way back to the car, Melvin
handed Sue the keys. There was a slight tremble to her hands, but he didn’t
comment on it.

“I’ll be seeing a different
doctor,” she advised him as she pulled from the parking lot. Her voice was calm
as her senses returned to normal.

“Oh, okay,” he replied and
studiously avoided looking at her. Shyly, he continued, “Would you like to go
get a drink or something?”

Sue took a deep breath and let it out
slowly. “No, I don’t think so. But thanks anyway. I just want to go home. I’m
exhausted.”

His tone was carefully nonchalant.
“No problem. But, you know, I’m a good listener.
If you ever
need to talk.”
He gave her a hopeful glance.

Sue chewed her lip for a few
seconds as if absorbed by her driving and then shot a quick look at Melvin. “I
bet you think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”

Melvin blinked. “I don’t think that
at all.”

“Well, what
do
you think?”
She trembled inside, afraid to hear his answer, but sure he would admit he
viewed her as soiled goods.
Easy.
Cheap.
A sure thing.
He knew her story, probably thought
she’d put out.
Like he has a chance in hell
.
“Well? I asked you a question,
Ein
...” She stopped
herself from calling him Einstein, but Zeke’s
snarky
signature phrase had almost slipped out. The realization was like a cold slap
in the face. She softened her tone. “Could you answer me?”

“Yes, of course.” Melvin swallowed
hard. “I honestly don’t know you well enough to form an opinion, but I guess
what I think is that you’ve been through a lot and...”

“And what?”

“And maybe you could use a friend.”

“Well, you’d be wrong; I don’t need
one. So you can spare me your pity, Melvin.”

“It’s not pity.” His voice was
quiet. “But I understand what you’re saying. We’ll just keep everything
strictly professional.” He sounded slightly winded as he adjusted his glasses.
His hand crept into his pocket, stayed there a second or two, and came away
empty. He took a couple of slow, measured breaths.

Probably
counting to ten to keep from losing his temper with me.
Sue decided
to ignore him and hoped he wouldn’t fill the air with useless words. She needed
to reflect on her response to Candace Goldberg, her panicked trip to see Dr.
Wan, her own jumbled thoughts.