Summer of the Midnight Sun (27 page)

“So how are we set for supplies? I see you must have a knife, because you’ve cut down the branches,” she said, meeting his gaze.

“I have a knife, a compass, a comb, some money, and a belt. And, of course, my clothes,” Jayce said. “Not really much to speak of.”

“At least we have a knife. That means a lot,” Leah said, reaching into her mukluks. “And we have these.” She took out the matches and held them up.

“You brilliant girl,” Jayce said, a grin spreading across his face. “Now we can keep warm.”

“And cook food,” Leah added. “If we catch some.”

“We’ll find something. I’ll see to that.”

“One thing we can get relatively soon is fish,” Leah said. “If you make a circle of rocks on the tide floor, stack them high, but not so high as to be out of the water when the tide is in, we can trap fish. When the tide comes in, the fish will collect in the trap, and when the tide goes back out, they will be unable to swim over the rocks.”

He got up and took his coat. “I can get to work on that right now. The tide is out and the rain isn’t so bad as to keep me from accomplishing the job. Can you build a fire?”

“Yes. I can do that. Bethel will be resting anyway,” Leah said, noting that the old woman was already snoring.

They each went to their separate tasks. Leah knew how to dig out dried kindling from beneath the heavy forest ground covering. Here she also found logs, dried and brittle from years of hidden neglect. Before long, she had a fire blazing between an opening in the canvas and the rocky outcropping. The smoke climbed the wall of stone and was smothered in the rain.

Jayce returned just as Bethel was awaking. Leah couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of him with his rolled up wool trousers. He carried his boots and socks in hand. “I hope that works. I’m soaked to the bone, and my feet and legs are frozen. If we don’t get any fish, it won’t be for lack of effort.”

“Could I have a drink?” Bethel asked.

“Certainly. Here, let me help you sit up,” Leah offered. Jayce took up the little pottery bowl and handed it to Leah. “We all have to share one vessel, I’m sorry to say. But after what we’ve all come through, I’m sure this is the least of our worries.”

Bethel drank her fill, then let Leah help her reposition in order to sit up for a while. Leaning back against the rock, Bethel offered them both a smile. “I have lived through worse, but not much.”

“Where are you from, Bethel?” Jayce asked, settling down to warm himself by the fire.

“I was actually born and raised in California. Then I married a man of God who desired to come north to preach the gospel to the natives of this new territory. We lived most of our life near Prince of Wales and Kotzebue.”

“I know that area well,” Leah replied. “I live in Last Chance Creek, not far from Cape Woolley. My brother and I often go to that area to trade and collect furs.”

“Why, we were practically neighbors,” Bethel said with a nod.

“Is your husband still living?” Jayce asked.

“I’m sorry to say I lost him last year. We had just celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary not but the day before.” Tears came to the old woman’s eyes. “I’m afraid it is still difficult to talk about. I miss him a great deal.”

Leah patted the woman’s arm. “You needn’t cause yourself pain on our account. Tell us instead about your life as a missionary. How fascinating that must have been. When did you go north?”

Bethel composed herself a bit and then spoke. “We married in 1864. The Civil War was going on, and people were fighting bitterly in the east. In California, gold fever and other problems consumed the minds of men. My husband suggested we get involved with ministering to the poor souls who came to pan for gold only to lose everything, including the shirt off their backs. We spent a time in California and Nevada, but it was never what my husband really wanted. One day in the late 1870s he came in to me. He had heard about a man who was setting up schools and missions in Alaska. Have you heard of Sheldon Jackson?”

“Of course,” Leah said. The man had been responsible for starting many missions and schools in her area as well. There had also been an interesting experiment with introducing reindeer stations that had caused quite a stir among the natives.

“Dr. Jackson encouraged us to come to Sitka first, and then he persuaded us to go west to Teller and the other places I mentioned.”

“So you’ve been in Alaska all these years,” Leah said, shaking her head. “You’ve seen the gold rushes come and go but have remained to outlive the sensation of it all.”

“True enough,” Bethel replied. “We raised three lovely girls up there. Caroline is the oldest. She loved the land and remained, whereas the others went south. I was just returning from a trip to see them. That’s why I was on the ship.”

“We were heading home too,” Leah said, unable to keep the longing from her voice. “My brother and I have lived in Last Chance for over ten years.”

“Do you know the Kjellmann’s, then?” Bethel asked.

“They are dear friends. Emma is like the sister I never had,” Leah admitted.

“What do you do there?”

“In the past, my brother ran the mail in the winter. He was awarded the contract for several smaller villages, but this year he decided to forego it.”

Bethel looked to Jayce, asking, “But why would you do that?

What else will you do for a job?”

Jayce laughed. “I’m not her brother, but I think I can speak for him. He’s been asked to help with an Arctic exploration. I was to be a part of that as well. I think Jacob plans to put things in order so that he can attempt that trip next year.”

“We also run a trading post of sorts,” Leah threw out. “We’ll still have that, and Jacob will no doubt have to run for supplies throughout the winter.”

Bethel seemed to consider this a moment, then turned back to Jayce. “If you aren’t the brother, then who are you?”

“I hope to be the husband,” he said, throwing a wink at Leah.

“I haven’t asked her yet, but I’m working up to it.”

Bethel laughed. “I promise not to say a word.”

Leah looked at Jayce in dumbfounded silence. Surely he hadn’t just said what she thought he’d said.
Did he just say that he planned to marry me?

Her heart pounded in her ears, blocking out Bethel and Jayce’s conversation. After all they’d been through—all the pain and years of absence—had Jayce really just proposed in his roundabout way?

Chapter Twenty-three

W
hat do you mean we can’t go out and search?” Jacob asked a man at the Sitka docks. “I’m willing to pay you good money.”

Their trip from Nome hadn’t been easy or fast, and now he was feeling the stress of not knowing if Leah and Jayce had survived. There had been no word. Bodies had been recovered, but identifying them was difficult. Jacob had gone to the makeshift morgue to see if any of them were Leah or Jayce. To his relief, they weren’t among the dead, but that relief was short-lived.

“Look around you, mister,” the older man declared. “This weather ain’t right for being on the water. I know you’re worried. Other folks here are worried as well. We’ll go when things calm down.”

Jacob knew the man was right. The ocean was pitching and roiling; he’d never have attempted such a sea at home. The chill in the air offered him no comfort as he thought of Leah being lost out there on the water—or worse. He tried not to think of all the possibilities.

For several moments he just stood staring at the angry gray waters. Somewhere out there, he fervently believed, Leah and Jayce were struggling to survive . . . and he couldn’t help them. It had been nearly two weeks since
Orion’s Belt
went down. How could he not know what had happened? How could he just stand idly by and wait?

When he came back to the hotel, Helaina was there to meet him. “What happened? Any word?”

“No,” Jacob said. “The weather has made it impossible to search. Short of those boats that made it into various ports, there haven’t been reports of other survivors. They aren’t finding any more bodies. The search has pretty much been called off.”

“I’m sorry, Jacob.”

They sat down in the lobby of the hotel and said nothing for several minutes. Jacob didn’t like the feeling of helplessness that washed over him. He had fought so hard to get this far, and now there was nothing he could do but wait.

“Have you had any word from your family?” Helaina prompted.

“Adrik is searching with some of the men from his area. He plans to work his way up the island coast and then in Sitka after that. He thought we could work together.” Jacob stared off into space. Leah was smart and very capable. Jayce too. If they’d made it to a lifeboat, they would be capable of surviving. He was sure of it. He prayed for them—for all the passengers of
Orion’s Belt
—but it didn’t feel like enough.

“So where is God in all of this?” Helaina’s tone told him that she wasn’t merely trying to stir up trouble; she really wanted answers. Answers Jacob wasn’t sure he could come up with.

“Sometimes it’s hard to understand why things like this happen,” Jacob said, trying to relax in the chair. “I know I’ve questioned God several times in my life, and I always see the answer later, or else God gives me a peace about it. Like when my ma died. I didn’t see any good purpose in that, but later, I realized she’d always been kind of fragile and weak. She might have lived on like that and my pa would never have been able to endure it. I figure he would have left all of us—not because he didn’t care about us, but because he wouldn’t have been able to watch my ma die day by day. That would have broken my mother’s heart. At least she died feeling loved and cared about.”

“I still see no good reason for my parents and husband to be murdered. I know you say there is probably a good reason—something God wants to teach me in all of this—but I don’t see it. Those kinds of lessons are cruel. Like now.”

Jacob looked at her for a moment. She really was a beautiful woman. “Answers to our questions aren’t always real clear—and frankly, I’ve learned that even when I know the whys and hows, it doesn’t stop me from hurting.”

“But it might help me stop reliving it,” Helaina said in a distant voice. “Sometimes I imagine their final moments—even though I wasn’t there physically. I read the reports and demanded all the details until the police were so tired of me they simply gave in. It was gruesome, and sometimes I wish I’d heeded their warning and left well enough alone.”

“Did they ever catch the men who committed the murders?” Jacob asked.

“Yes, but it didn’t help as much as I’d hoped. I had thought that once they were caught and tried, convicted, and punished, that my life would go on—that I would feel satisfied.”

“But you didn’t?”

“No. Well, my life went on, but the feeling of satisfaction was absent. No matter that the men were in jail—my family was still dead.”

“That’s why revenge never works.”

“But I wasn’t just seeking revenge. I wanted justice.”

“There you go with justice again. I don’t think you even understand the word. Justice suggests impartiality, and you show no signs of that.”

She glared at him. “Justice is what our legal system is about—it’s what this country was founded on. It’s all I want in life—it’s what I fight for.” Jacob thought for a moment she might get up and leave, but instead she composed herself and squared her shoulders. “This isn’t about me or justice—it’s about Leah and Mr. Kincaid.”

“I can’t do anything about them right now, except pray—which I have been doing ever since we heard about the ship going down. But I think we need to go back to the issue at hand, and the point is, often people mistake revenge for justice. They think they’ll feel better if they can see their offenders behind bars or even put to death. But it doesn’t change the fact that they are hurting. I’ve found that offering mercy and forgiveness frees me from much of that pain. It also helps me to find a new direction for my life.”

Helaina’s voice took on a raw edge. “As I’ve said before, people who break the law deserve to face the penalty. Mercy is a matter left up to the courts. I will never understand your beliefs that people should just get off free and clear because they ask to be forgiven.”

“Well, forgiveness is something we do on our part. We have control of forgiveness—whether we’ll give it or withhold it. I can forgive the man who steals from me, but the court might still sentence him to time in jail. You could choose to forgive the men who murdered your family, but they would still need to pay the penalty for their crime.”

“I could never forgive them,” Helaina said bitterly. “And don’t bring up that story from the Bible again. Just because God has decided to forgive mankind their sins if they accept His Son, doesn’t mean that I should have to forgive as well. I cannot agree with that. It’s just not that simple.”

“I never said it was simple,” Jacob replied. “Forgiveness is a decided effort. It doesn’t come easy for most.”

“I would venture to say it doesn’t come to most . . . period.”

Jacob fell silent. Helaina’s pain was visible in her expression. He’d certainly never meant to hurt her, but at the same time, he believed God had put the two of them together for a reason. “Why did you come to Alaska? Honestly.”

The pain left her face as a look of surprise seemed to cause her to tense. “You know why I came. You know all about the expedition.”

“And I know you said that you wanted to make your husband proud, but I get the feeling there’s more to it than that. I’ve always been rather good at discerning people, and you have hidden motives, Helaina. I’ve known that from the start, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

Her face flushed crimson at this comment. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But you do. I can see that now, more than ever. If you can’t be honest with me, then I’d just as soon you not come back to Last Chance. I hate lies, and now I feel confident that you are lying to me.”

Helaina cleared her throat nervously. “Look . . . that is. . . . you simply do not need to pry into my life. I’ve done nothing but honor the agreement we had. I’ve learned to handle the dogs to the best of my ability. I ran your store and kept your house, again because of the agreement. I upheld my part of the bargain and gave you no reason to distrust me.”