Summer Sunsets (18 page)

“
I…can’t.”

“
You mean you won’t,” I
gently correct and scoot closer to her. “I know you’re scared, and
you think ten shades of bad are going to happen to you if you open
up, but they won’t. I promise.” I slide my hand under her chin and
gently lift. “Just tell me.”

“
You don’t get it,” she
whispers and tries to pull away, but I refuse to let her
go.

“
That’s because you won’t
tell me what ‘it’ is. How am I ever supposed to ‘get it’ when you
won’t let me?” My shoulders and back are starting to tense with
stress. I could kill her father for stirring things up
again.

“
Devin, no matter what I do,
you don’t get the hint. You shouldn’t be with me. Period.” She
whirls toward the door and jerks on the handle. In her haste to get
out, she almost falls. I start to grab her, but even as quickly as
I do, she’s faster and more intent on escape. It’s not me she’s
fleeing but whatever demons her father triggered once
again.

I, too, slide out of the
Jeep and slam the door after as I rush towards Skye. I see the
light blue shirt she wears as she heads into the cemetery proper.
Her long hair flows behind her like dark kite ribbons, and she’s
running like the devil is after her.

So what does that say about
me?

“
Skye, wait!” Unsettled, I
run after her. Before I can even get to the gate, her body
disappears beyond the tree line that borders the grounds, cutting
everything off from view.

A image of long ago and far
away pops into my head of the one time Skye and I decided to play
hide and seek here. As a seventh-grader, I’d thought it would be
funny and creep Skye out. It was one of those stupid kid things;
I’d thought maybe if the experience was like a horror film and
scared the crap out of her, she’d draw closer to me and want me to
protect her.

I should have known better.
Skye’d been more comfortable with the dead than the living and
still was. Maybe it’s because whatever secrets the dead might have,
they take with them, and there’s some kind of peace in that. The
living are still struggling with their secrets, and even those we
keep tend to take their toll.

No, Skye’s probably just as
happy to go in there now as then. It’s the one place nobody wants
to ask her questions and nobody expects anything. She can just
be.

That’s when I stop running,
to give her a few minutes to gather her emotions and try to calm
down. There’s no point in cornering her. She’s just going to come
out fighting. Always has, always will.

I take my time walking
through the cemetery, even though I no longer see Skye in front of
me. There’s only one entrance, and I’ve just come that way, so I
know she’s here, hiding. Shoving my keys into my pocket and amble
down the path, I scan the rows of graves.

Halfway through the
graveyard, I see her, sitting on the ground, her back pressed
against one of the taller stones. She’s drawn her knees to her
chest and wrapped her arms around them to keep them stable as she
lays her head on her knees. More tears.

Sighing, I force my steps
to have a measured pace so that even though I’m not exactly calm on
the inside, Skye doesn’t have a clue. She has many great skills,
but she can’t read people; I don’t know why. I just know that’s
part of what causes her problems. She takes all the wrong cues and
runs with them. Like now.

I’m almost to the stone
when I feel the first few raindrops. Granted, the sky had looked
even-tempered enough when I drove to Skye’s house, but maybe it’s
just as fickle as everything else.

Stopping in front of her, I
look down. “Is this seat taken?” I gesture to the ground next to
her.

“
Help yourself,” she says
gruffly, not looking up.

Easing myself to the
ground, I try to pretzel my legs across each other as I lean
against the headstone next to her. A cold raindrop splashes my
temple and I look up at the fast-moving clouds above.

“
How ‘bout this weather?” I
ask.

“
What weather?” She finally
looks up, puzzled. Just then a big fat raindrop smacks her in the
eye, causing her to squinch her eyes shut.

“
It’s raining, or hadn’t you
noticed?”

“
Yeah, I got that,” she
agrees, rubbing her eye, “right in the eye.”

“
I’m willing to bet the sky
opens up any minute.”

She, too, scans the
heavens. “Yeah, right. Just for that, I’ll take your bet. You never
get the weather right.” She leans against my shoulder.

“
So what do I get
right?”

“
Huh?” I see her cut her
eyes toward me. It takes her craning her neck slightly, but she
does it.

“
Skye, I must be doing a
million things wrong for you to keep running from me. So tell me
one thing I’m doing right. Just one.” I lean my head against the
stone and watch her face, waiting for an answer.

“
You do everything right,
Devin.”

With that answer, I burst
out laughing. More drops. I have a feeling in about five minutes
we’re going to be soaking wet. “Yeah, right, Skye. Remember when I
beat the crap out of Kellin when it was Tyler I should have dealt
with? That was…not right, and we both know it. And every time I
turn around, you want to run away. Why?”

She slips one arm beneath
mine and wraps hers around it as she leans closer. “Devin, you’ve
always tried to make everything wonderful for me. You’ve never once
failed me, not when you knew what was going on. The other was my
fault, not yours….” Her voice dies away.

I kiss her on the forehead.
“So? Don’t you want to be with me?”

“
Of course!” The answer
explodes from her.

“
Then what?”

Her arm tightens around
mine. More rain drops. She shivers as the cold wetness lands on her
upturned face. “Devin you are so good to me. I couldn’t ask for a
better friend or someone to love me who is more
self-sacrificing….”

“
But?” I interject. “I know
it’s coming. I feel it even though she doesn’t say it.”

“
But I can’t do
this.”

“
Why.” I pull away slightly
and stare at her willing her to meet my eyes. “Just tell me why. I
know you love me. You just don’t want to seem to let me love you.
Why?” I slide my finger under her chin, desperate to
understand.

“
I’m not good
enough.”

“
What?” The word almost
sounds like laughter. Actually I just can’t even believe she went
there.

“
I don’t deserve you, Devin.
Look at my past.”

“
Bullshit,” I snap, staring
into the wide brown eyes which refuse to blink even though there’s
a pool overflowing from them. “You know better.”

This would be a great time
for her to say something, but her lips just part and tremble.
That’s when it hits me. She really believes that. Once I get it,
all the pieces fall into place. Trouble is I feel like I’ve been
sucker punched because there’s this hole in my chest where my heart
used to be. God, how could she even think that?

“
Goddamn it, Skye, I don’t
care what you believe. The past is the past. I love you. I’ve
always loved you. I will always love you, no matter what you do and
no matter what you think you’ve done to become
unlovable.”

“
Devin,” she whispers. It
sounds like a warning, and suddenly I know by the swell of tears
overflowing and pouring down her face, I’ve finally made it inside
that wall. She feels naked and vulnerable, and all these things I
never meant. I just wanted to love her.

“
I don’t care what you think
about yourself, Skye. I know the goodness in you, and that’s all I
have to know.” I tug her into my arms and kiss her forehead as she
cries. Feeling her tremble and sob against me unleashes my own
tears, and all I can do is hope she knows that I won’t leave. I’ll
never leave.

Never.

The sky opens with hard,
fast rain. As it pours down, I hear Skye inhale sharply and let out
a strangled gasp from the cold. The wind picks up, howling
furiously with the storm.

“
Looks like I win,” I yell,
forcing myself to my feet.

“
You probably planned this,”
she accuses as I offer my hand to help her up.

“
Oh yeah, I just wanted to
get doused, Skye. C’mon. Let’s run.” I turn and start jogging
toward the exit. More lighting that blinds me, and thunder pounds
through me. Damn, this is one hell of a storm.

I risk a glance back to see
that Skye is no longer following me so I double back, despite the
raging wind that makes going that way so hard. I can’t even see all
the well right in front of me with the driving rain that stings
like small pellets of hail, which is probably why I almost reach
her before I know it. She’s lying on the ground, her hands
clutching an ankle, probably a sprain. She probably couldn’t even
see where she was running.

“
You okay?” I yell, but my
voice is lost in the storm so she doesn’t answer. She probably
can’t walk on it. It’s hard enough to see her with the rain, but
her long dark hair is plastered to her face so I can’t read her
expression. I start toward her.

That’s when another
lightning bolt cuts across the sky and strikes the huge elm tree
near her. I hear a sizzling, snapping sound. Then I see a massive
branch teetering precariously. Like it wants to fall right on top
of her.

Chapter
Fourteen

“
Skye!” I yell and rush
towards her. The wind pushes me back, and the branch snaps,
falling. It lands right in my path, almost right on top of me, and
it completely blocks my line of sight.

And it’s right where she
was.

“
Skye!” I yell again, and
race around it. All I can think is please let her be okay. Please,
God, let her be okay.

It takes a moment for me to
find her amid all the rain and branches, but she’s there,
half-buried in the tree. I propel myself toward her, gripping the
tree branches for leverage. Then I squat in front of her and start
unburying her.

“
Skye! Can you hear me?” I
call, seeing a body without a face. Immediately, my mind jumps
ahead and I start to see blood where there is none. Panic makes my
heart jump into my throat. She has to be all right.

At last I see her face.
There’s a huge gouge on her forehead where blood runs a small river
amid the rain. Her eyes are closed, and she looks pale; I can’t
tell if she’s breathing. There’s too much noise and
fury.

“
Skye!” I call and lean
closer, holding my cheek just above her nose, checking for breath.
At first, I don’t think I feel anything, but then, just as I’m
about to start compressions, a soft, warm breath touches my
skin.

Thank God.

My shoulders sag in relief,
and I lightly touch her face. “Skye! You’ve got to wake up,
baby!”

At the feel of my fingers,
her eyelids flutter slightly before finally opening. Her lips part
and she groans.

“
There you are,” I whisper,
thankful.

“
What happened?” she asks,
blinking repeatedly. She looks dazed and confused. And then there’s
the big tree branch across her lower body.

“
A branch came down, and you
were in the way. Let me see if I can get it off you.”

I turn my attention to the
branch and clear away smaller debris. When I come down to the last
of it, even through the cold rain, I see Skye has been lucky. Her
legs seem to have slipped into a groove in the ground, saving them
from being smashed by the tree. While she’s wedged there, at least
she’s probably okay, and that’s a miracle.

I look back at her and
point to the tree. “I’m going to have to try to find a way to move
this branch so you can scoot your legs out from under it. I need
you to get ready, okay?”

She nods and forces herself
to lift up enough so she’s almost sitting. “Go ahead.” She’s
shivering, and her teeth chatter loudly.

As I bend low to start
lifting, rainwater spills into my eyes, threatening to blind me.
Overhead, lightning lances the sky, and thunder roars around us. I
grit my teeth, trying to focus on moving the tree instead of
thinking of all the branches that might fall around us. Bracing my
hands on the log, I start to shove it.

At first, it doesn’t seem
to move. I push harder and harder. More lightning. The rain spits
harder, if that’s possible. I look back at Skye and find her face
is pale and troubled. She squints to keep the rain from her eyes,
and blood seeps from the gash on her forehead. “You
okay?”

“
Just cold.”

“
Hang on. I’ll get you out
of there.”

She nods and pushes the
sodden hair from her face. Her tight lips form a line. Lightning
arcs overhead, and the wind rips another branch from the tree,
toppling it on me before I can duck. I’m lucky it’s not heavy, or I
wouldn’t be much better off than Skye. It makes me lose my balance
and tumble to the muddy ground.

“
Devin!” I hear Skye scream,
her voice frightened and desperate.