Summer's Road (17 page)

After what seemed like ten eternities, her lashes fell to half-mast and she turned her head, nuzzling her face into my palm. The relief felled me. I leaned in to kiss her and—

The bedroom door opened. Dee barreled inside the room, shattering the quiet, Rick on her heels. They both froze like a comical cartoon, gaze darting between us, but I wasn’t laughing.

Summer leapt off of the bed, taking the sheet with her and wrapping it around her like a shield. Except her legs got tangled and she did a precarious dance to avoid falling before finally righting herself. I thought she was going to have an embolism right there on the spot by the way she froze. I pulled the blanket up to my waist.

Moments ticked by, the four of us staring at each other.

Dee laughed and placed a hand on her chest. “Well, it’s about time.” She looked at Summer. “I guess this means you broke up with Matt.”

If it were possible, Summer’s already pale complexion lost several more shades. She placed one hand to her forehead and white-knuckled the sheet with the other. “Oh, God.” Then, she was a flurry of motion, running around the room picking up discarded articles of clothing while I could do nothing but lie there and watch, shock keeping me immobile. She muttered another “Oh, God” and fled from the room, clothes bunched at her chest and the sheet flying behind her.

I sat up slowly, testing out my theory this was an effed up nightmare. But no. That just happened.

“Something I said?” Dee asked. Her confused, wary gaze shifted between me, the doorway, and Rick—who’d yet to prove he wasn’t a statue. “I didn’t realize she wasn’t alone. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” It was mine. I should have made sure Matt was out of the picture before I made a move. Knowing Summer, the guilt was probably eating her alive. Matt had told her to explore her options. They hadn’t closed their open relationship, far as I knew. But Summer wouldn’t see it that way.

Determined to go after her, calm her down, make sure she was okay, I rolled out of bed and searched for clothes.

Dee made a strangled noise and covered her eyes. “Ian! A warning next time.”

“Am I ruining you for Rick?”

Humor aside, I couldn’t shake the crazy notion if I didn’t fix this and fast, I’d lose Summer. My entire world, my life, just ran from the room. I grabbed my jeans off the floor and hopped into them, leaving them unbuttoned while I frantically crawled around trying to locate my shirt. There. Under the bed.

“I have to go talk to her.”

Rick blocked the doorway and put a hand on my chest. “I’ll go.” I pushed his arm away, fire roaring through my veins. “Ian.” Rick’s firm voice had me snapping my gaze to his. “I’ll go. You stay.”

His brows lifted as if to say
understand
? And it hit me. He was right. Summer needed the objectivity of an outside party like Rick and some distance from me to think. That’s how she rolled. I was the type to act now, think later. She took longer to process things and then she proceeded. And she couldn’t exactly come to me with this issue in the mean time, as I
was
the issue.

The pent up breath whooshed out of my lungs. “You’re right. Okay.” Dropping on the side of the bed, I ran my fingers through my hair, over my face.

After Rick walked out, Dee sat next to me on the edge of the bed. “So. Want some breakfast?”

A rumble vibrated my chest, which quickly turned into a panicked laugh that bubbled out and filled the room with its nervous, ridiculous sound. And it took a whole hell of a lot of restraint to keep it from becoming hot, outlandish tears.

Summer

I
made it as far as the front porch, the bed sheet wrapped around me and clothes bunched in my hands, and sat on the step. I inhaled sharply, but it didn’t assuage my guilt. Worst thing about it was, I’d known exactly what I was doing last night.

Matt was ready to upend his life and move to Charlotte to be closer to me, wanted a committed relationship with me, and I’d slept with someone else. Granted, I hadn’t agreed to Matt’s offer and he’d left the door open for me to change my mind, but still. It seemed wrong.

Being with Ian last night had been wonderful, something I’d wanted my whole life. Passion and a connection. For someone to see me, see past all the dark, ugly shadows, and want me anyway. But I should have ended things with Matt first. And I had no idea where things stood with Ian. Let’s face it, he wasn’t the type to settle down and that’s what I needed.

The screen door slammed, and Rick stepped out. He sat next to me and stared at the yard, contemplative. “Enjoying your morning-after freak out?”

I didn’t respond, just buried my face in the bed sheet.

“The sex must’ve really sucked. We share the room right next to yours. No wall banging.”

I laughed, which I’m sure was his intention. “Shut up.”

“No, really. I can’t wait to tease Ian about it. Not even an
Oh, God, yes
!”

Laughing harder, I grabbed my side. “As if you could hear anything over Dee’s snoring.”

“True, that.” He sobered, studying me. “Can I assume Matt is still in the picture?”

Shame swamped me. I was now one of those women who cheated on her boyfriend. Sort of. We were still able to see other people, according to Matt.

Rick rubbed a comforting hand over my back. “If you love Matt, you have to tell him and try to work it out. I suspect you don’t, though, so what about Ian?”

I didn’t love Matt. If last night had taught me anything, it was that Matt wasn’t The One. Ian...I didn’t know what to do about. “I’ll figure it out.”

“I know you will.” He wrapped an arm around me and drew me to his side. “Do me a favor, though. Go with your gut, not your head. You have enough going on up there. Let your heart do some of the work.”

I rested my head on his shoulder. “Love you.”

“Love you harder.”

Two hours later, Matt still wasn’t home. I paced the living room of his beach house, needing to talk to him, my stomach churning. I couldn’t move in either direction unless I had a sit down with him. He’d texted that he was meeting up with some friends and that he’d see me on the beach for our bonfire, but I didn’t want to drag this out. He deserved better than that.

Glancing around, I searched for something to distract me, and my gaze landed on a wall of photos. As I stepped closer, my heart stopped. With a shaking hand, I removed one of the pictures and stared. My mom and dad were holding me. I was maybe two or three, but that couldn’t be right. Sharon had taken off when I’d been an infant. I didn’t recognize the backdrop. Somewhere near the Smokey Mountains, I assumed, by the foggy hills and lush greenery. Sharon’s head was turned from the camera, nuzzling my neck. And she looked happy holding me. Natural.

My stomach twisted and a cold sweat broke out on my back. Dread filled my chest. Had...Daddy lied to me? He’d never once given me the impression she’d come back. The only person who’d be able to tell me would be Sharon. Her words from that day in my kitchen filtered from memory.

You don’t know everything, Summer.

When I got home to Wylie, perhaps it would be wise to reach out to her, let her have her say. Until then, worrying wouldn’t do any good.

I replaced the photo and rubbed my arm, glancing at the other pictures. There was a photo of Ian, Matt, Jenny, Rick, Dee, and myself. It was taken on the beach a couple years ago. Everyone was looking at the camera except Ian, because he was focused on me. His expression had a twisted kind of...longing. Sad. Lost. I’d known Ian my whole life and couldn’t ever remember seeing that look before. And it was directed at
me
.

Other memories dotted the wall. Me running down the pier with Ian and Rick, suspended mid-jump over the water, our tiny hands clasped together. Sighing, I traced the outline of my father’s face in another photo, holding Ian in a fond embrace when he was ten.

There they were, frozen in time, the two men I loved with all my heart. Tears filled my eyes, blurring the images. I’d never been one to cry, but lately it seemed as if that’s all I did.

It was getting late, and it didn’t look like Matt was going to be back at a reasonable time. I sent him a text that I wanted us talk alone when he returned, and then I headed for the beach.

According to Dee, Ian had taken off hours ago on his father’s custom chrome Harley Davidson Fat Boy after revving the engine until the windows nearly broke from the sound barrier. I kind of felt like I’d been left in a figurative cloud of dust, wondering when and if he’d return. Worse, what to say when he did.

Ian didn’t even like motorcycles.

I helped Dee put the last of the wood on the pile for our bonfire, and then sat in the sand next to her. She lay back, leaning on her elbows, silent. Closing my eyes, I tipped my head and let the sun beat on my face. It was a hot one today and I was thankful. It edged out some of the cold laying dormant inside me from all the unresolved issues.

Last night kept playing over in my mind. Was Ian’s interest only the physical reaction I gave him or something more emotional? I had no doubt he loved me. He’d been a rock all my life and had proven I mattered to him as much as he did to me.

But
in
love? Even as inexperienced as I was, I knew sex didn’t equal love. And Ian had never,
never
shown any sign he wanted one woman for the long haul. I was probably getting a little ahead of myself, but that was a huge factor.

Through the years, I’d become an expert at isolating my heart, hiding my feelings. Whether it had been to show Daddy I was strong, or to pretend the kids at school hadn’t wounded me with words, or to assure my friends I was okay, that I wouldn’t slip back into the dark, I’d learned to keep the pain bottled. And that was probably the most genuine explanation as to why there was no connection to the guys I’d dated.

But Ian wasn’t just some guy. He knew me inside and out and there was no hiding from him. So, yeah. I needed answers, before we went past the breaking point.

“Was the sex that bad?”

My gaze jerked to Dee. Her over-sized Audrey Hepburn sunglasses were masking the grin in her eyes I knew was there. “No. It was very good, actually.” Earth-shattering was more like it. For one night, I had everything I’d sought, not only physically, but emotionally.

But then the sun had come up.

Adjusting her red bikini, Dee sat up. “If it was good, then what’s the big deal?”

I looked out over the ocean at the white-capped swells and gray-blue water. Seagulls cried overhead and brine filled the air. “It was Ian, Dee. I slept with Ian.” Never mind that it seemed like a betrayal to Matt.

“Yep. As I said before, ‘bout time.”

I shook my head, wondering why she wasn’t pissed at me. Ian and I had disrupted The Force last night with regards to our tight circle of friends.

“For the record, I didn’t know. I mean, I had suspected something, but…”

To me, it was almost as disturbing that others assumed this would happen. It had shocked the heck out of me.

I needed a distraction, and I’d completely been ignoring what Dee had told me the other night. She had a big thing weighing on her, too, and I was being an awful friend. “Let’s go into town and get you a pregnancy test.” I took her hand and squeezed.

“I’ll let you change the topic now, but only because it’s about me.” She grinned. “I might be a mommy soon.”

Ah, the happy. “I’m going to spoil it rotten.”

“Come on, Auntie Summer.”

I loved the sound of that.

Ian was in the driveway when we returned from the pharmacy, sitting on his father’s motorcycle wearing turquoise swimming trunks and a deep frown. God, even moody and radiating pure pissed off male he was yummy. His golden tan skin and ropey muscle. The bad boy, back-off posture. I shook my head. He stole my breath, and I wondered how I’d gone my entire friendship with him and not known how addictive he could be, not fully realized the appeal of him as a man.

Dee looked at me from the passenger seat. “Want me to stick around?”

I shook my head and tried to swallow as we exited the car. I walked slowly toward him, my heartbeat going bonkers as I ate the distance. He tracked my every step, not meeting my gaze. Anxiety clawed at me that we’d screwed everything up. Or I had.