Surge: (#7 The Beat and The Pulse) (13 page)

S
tepping off the bus
, I made my way down the footpath toward the main street of Bondi.

Sometimes, I really hated the fact I didn’t have a car, but this city was a nightmare when it came to traffic. Public transport wasn’t much better, but it was a sight quicker than sitting in the parking lot that was Sydney’s streets on any given day. Melbourne wasn’t much different, but at least the trains weren’t as crowded as the bus I’d just shoehorned myself out of.

The meeting with the AUFC had gone well that morning, and despite Dean’s belief that I was forcing him to spend time alone with his twin to work out their beef over the challenge, I actually had to go and smooth things over with the powers that be.

The bad boy twin had ruffled some serious feathers when he’d punched Gabe at the Gala, and I’d just spent the better half of three hours convincing the head of Tightrope that it was an anomaly. A sizeable donation and the promise of scheduling more charity appearances and training days for their ragtag group of troubled teens had sweetened the deal.

For now, the waters had calmed, and it was back to the task at hand. Keeping Dean on the straight and narrow and working out who was going to make the challenge for the middleweight title. Thinking about how stubborn those boys could be, I’d rather go back into a room of highly-strung suits to plead clemency than mediate a pair of fighters out for blood.

My heels clacked on the cobblestones as I turned down the lane toward the gym. Fishing for my keys, I barely heard the sound of two people talking. Glancing up, I recognized Dean lingering around the corner in the shadows like he was some kind of dero dealing drugs.

My sixth sense began to tingle as I came to a halt. It was out of character to see him out here when he’d usually be upstairs training, and I started to feel uneasy. He didn’t see me approach, so I let my hand slip out of my bag and crept forward.

I took one step to the left, and that’s when I saw her. Monica Miller.

What the fuck… I went to step forward, anger searing through all of my nerve endings, but at the last second, I stopped myself. Taking a deep breath, I decided to listen. Maybe I was tempting fate, or maybe I had a death wish, but I wanted to know once and for all if Dean was telling the truth when he said he was in this with me. I wanted to know if my risk would pay off or if I’d wind up unemployed and heartbroken.

“I’ve been doing really good,” Monica was saying, the sound of her voice almost making me dry retch. “Working through my feelings and making amends. I realized that all these years, I’ve been wrong. I treated you horribly, and I’m sorry. I was blind.”

Bile rose in the back of my throat, and I pressed my palm against my forehead as my head started to spin. I should’ve hightailed it right then and there, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the scene unfolding before me. What was that saying about car crashes and rubbernecking?

“I want to make a go of things, Dean,” Monica said, looking at him with hope in her eyes. “You and me.”

I squashed down the urge to stride over there and punch her perfect face, and my gaze darted to Dean’s. He had to say no, right? After everything we’d promised one another, he had to tell her he was with someone else.

But he didn’t. He hesitated, and it felt like he’d driven a knife straight through my heart.

He hesitated
.

“Monica…” he began, but I couldn’t bear to listen to another word.

Spinning on my heel, I fled back the way I’d come and hurtled around the corner, almost colliding with someone walking the other way.

Muttering an apology, I strode toward the beach, fighting back tears even as the wind blew in my face trying to rip them from me.

When I hit the beach, I kicked off my heels and held them in my trembling fingers as I walked across the sand. My entire body felt numb as I watched the waves break on the shore. After a while, my gaze drew away from the rhythm and followed a man in a black wetsuit running into the water with a surfboard under his arm. I looked at everything and studied it in minute detail…anything to keep me from absorbing the truth.

Dean Hayes was still in love with Monica Miller.

* * *

B
y the time
I went back to the gym, it was late.

The sun was low in the sky, the alley wreathed in shadow and darkness as I approached the gym. Nothing had soothed my broken heart, not even the calmness of the ocean lapping on the beach.

No matter what angle I looked at us from, I couldn’t escape the truth.

“I was wondering when I’d see you.”

My gaze snapped up and fixed on Monica as an unbelievable burst of rage threatened to take control.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I hissed, fully prepared to fight if I needed to.

Her lips curved into a devilish smile, and she glanced up at the gym. “You know why I’m here.”

“Hands off,” I snapped. “You think you can just waltz in here and flash your tits, and he’ll fall at your feet?” Even as I said it, I knew he already had, and my words just bounced off her without doing any damage.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” she said, looking me over in surprise. “You and Dean? Do you really think you were more to him than just something to pass the time? Poor little Josie.
I’m here now
.”

“You’re such a liar, Monica,” I said, squaring my shoulders. “You say you’ve changed, but I can see right through you. You’re rotten to the core.”

She sneered and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Here’s the thing…
I won
. He doesn’t want you. He wants me. You’ll never be anything more than a glorified sex doll—cheap and made of plastic, an empty whore for men to stick their cocks into.”

Bitch
. If I hit her now, she’d slap an assault charge on me. I was powerless, and she knew it. All I could do was stand there and take her barbs. I was already numb, so they stuck in my heart without causing much of anything, but once the anesthesia wore off, it’d hurt like a bitch.

“You better go upstairs and pack up your desk,” she purred in triumph when she realized she had me in a corner. “Your services aren’t needed here anymore.”

Turning on her heel, Monica melted into the shadows, her work done for the evening. She’d gone back to her dark corner to wait for Dean and to reap the rewards of her awful scheming.

Shaking my head, I opened the door to the gym, everything spinning out of control.

Lincoln was walking out the upstairs door when I appeared, and he stopped me before I could go in.

“Hey,” he said, hesitating when he saw the look on my face. “Everything okay? Did the meeting not go to plan?”

“No,” I said, still reeling from my encounter with Monica outside. “It was fine. Just long.”

He frowned and shook his head in exasperation. “What’s he done this time?”

Snorting, I replied, “So every foul look on my face has to be the result of your brother’s latest fuck up?”

“Josie, I know.”

My expression dropped, and I tightened my grip on my bag. “Excuse me?”

“I know about you and Dean,” he said more firmly. “It’s cool. I have zero problem with it.”

“He told you?” I asked, sounding more offended than I had a right to be considering I’d blabbed to Violet on Saturday.

“I’m his twin brother,” he said with a kind smile. “I notice a lot more than most people. We’re two halves of a whole.”

Glancing at the door to the gym and then downstairs to the depths of hell, I wasn’t sure what to say.

“He’s still there,” Linc added. “I think he’s waiting for you. He’s got a feather up his butt about something.”

Or he was waiting for his brother to clear out so he could go fuck Monica Miller, who was downstairs hiding in the shadows until she could get him alone. At the thought of them
fucking
, I wanted nothing more than to throw up the bile that was stuck in the back of my throat.

If I fled now, then Lincoln would know something was up. If I went upstairs, I’d be forced to confront Dean. I wasn’t ready to face either, but I had to do something.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, I forced a smile and nodded. “Thanks.”

I turned to go face the music when he called out, “Hey, Jo?”

“Yeah?”

“Whatever he’s done now, you guys will work it out. Give him a chance, hey?”

Give him a chance?
Did he know who came to visit Dean today and who was lingering outside? Did he even realize that his brother was on the street starting something with the woman he’d had a crush on for ten years? Did he realize she was finally offering his brother what he’d always wanted?

I knew Dean had considered it despite me being in the picture. What we had wasn’t strong enough to stop him from hesitating. I wasn’t enough. I was a poor substitute for the ultimate dream.

I smiled thinly at Lincoln and lied to his face. “I’ll think about it.”

“Awesome. You guys are good for each other.”
Like a hole in the head.

With a heavy heart, I watched him clatter down the stairs and push out onto the street.

How could Dean want me in the first place when I was so weak? I couldn’t even stand up for myself. I couldn’t see why any man would want to love someone like me. They never had and probably never would.

Punching in the code on the door, I opened it and stepped into the gym. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement at the far end of the room, but I kept my head down and strode into my office.

Dumping my bag on the desk, I began pulling out the paperwork I’d collected at the meeting with the AUFC and Tightrope. Contracts I had to get the Twins to sign when we’d worked out their schedule. How was I going to keep working here knowing that…

“Jo?”

Dean’s voice filtered through the gym, and I closed my eyes, praying for strength.

“Jo?” he said again. This time, he was standing in the doorway, his gaze fixed on my back.

I had to talk to him sooner or later, but I was fond of avoiding confrontations of the heart, so I’d rather it was later or not at all. I turned slightly so I could slide the contracts into my inbox to look at again in the morning.

I could sense him staring, and it unnerved me how my body wanted to fling itself at him despite all the chaos inside my heart. That confrontation was going to be now whether I wanted to face the truth or not.

“How did the meeting go?” he asked, leaning against the doorjamb.

“Fine,” I said briskly, shuffling papers on my desk. Anything to keep myself occupied. Anything to stop myself from bursting into tears.

“Just fine?”

“I had to make a sizeable donation to Tightrope on your behalf,” I said thinly. “And you’ll have to carve out extra time for training days. The AUFC was happy with the outcome.”

“So smooth sailing,” he murmured.

I could hear the concern in his voice, but I was still too much of a coward to raise my gaze and read his expression. He knew something was wrong.

“Jo,” he said, pushing off the doorjamb and stepping toward me. “We need to talk.”

“Yeah, we do,” I declared, leveling my gaze at him.

“I realized something today,” he murmured. “This thing with you and me. I’m all in. Every part of me. I know you’re worried about…” He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I’ve put that part of me in the past. All I want is to be with you. No regrets.”

I stared at him, half in shock and half in anger, and couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not when I’d seen him that afternoon with Monica. Not when he’d hesitated and not when I’d just seen her outside.

Was he playing both sides? He sure as hell had the skills if that’s what he wanted. I just didn’t think he’d be so callous.

“I saw you,” I hissed, unable to hold onto it anymore. “I saw you with her.”

The hope in his eyes began to fade, and he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t anything,” he murmured like he was trying to calm a wild animal. Maybe I was. I spooked easily, and I was always ready to bring my claws out at the slightest provocation.

“I saw enough,” I said, turning to face him head on. “I saw, and I heard. She’s waiting for you outside, you know. Did you really think she’d pass up the opportunity to sink her claws into me?”

“She’s what?” His mouth fell open like he was surprised. Patronizing bastard.

“Like you didn’t know,” I muttered, turning my gaze away.

“What do you want me to say, Jo?” he asked, taking a step toward me. “She turned up here out of the blue, pleading for me to start something with her, and I sent her packing. I told her no.
I chose you
. Did you hear that part? Or did you run away before you got the whole picture?”

I shook my head back and forth, not wanting to believe him. I couldn’t, not when my already fragile heart was on the line. I had to protect myself. I had to run.

“No,” I said, snatching up my bag. “I saw you with my own two eyes. She asked, and
you hesitated
.”

He stared at me, his eyes full of something I didn’t want to acknowledge.

I stepped around him, fully intending to leave, but at the last second, his hand shot out and grasped my arm.