Surge: Bad Boy Racing Romance (Fastlane Series Book 1) (18 page)

“Ava, what the hell is the matter?”

I just shook my head, looking at him through eyes clouded with sorrow.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Dyson leaned away from me for a second. “Did I say something to upset you?”

Not long after, the initial surge of emotion drained away. I still struggled for breath between sobs. “I-I’m so sorry. This has n-nothing to do with you. I-I don’t know w-what came over me.”

Reaching for the tissue box, Dyson pried it from my fingers, but before setting it aside, he said, “Here, take a few more of these.”

I nodded, forcing a sad smile to my lips. I reached for the tissue, taking several and wadding them up in my palm.

“Thank you.”

He nodded and turned away, placing them down before looking at me once again.

“Let’s sit down,” he began, pointing towards the couch. “I’ve got time before I have to go back to the track.”

A few seconds later, I took a seat next to him. Dyson looked at me with an expectant expression on his face. “Okay, so, obviously whatever is going on with you isn’t just about how I’m driving.”

I looked away from him and picked at the tissue in my hand.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Do you trust me, Ava?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Yes, I trust you.”

“Good. Okay then, I’m ready when you are.”

I brought one of the tissues to my eyes again and dabbed at the swollen, increasingly tender lids. “I’m not sure where to begin.”

“We already talked about that, remember?” Dyson replied with a tender wink. “Just start wherever you want to.”

I cleared my throat and straightened my posture a bit.

“Well, um, it was a few years ago now. My younger sister, Simon’s mother, she, um, had a boyfriend at the time. His name was Shane. He was cocky, a little bit of a know-it-all. I didn’t like him one bit. On top of all that, he had a real wild side.”

Dyson leaned away from me, reclining in the couch like he had before. He draped his arm across the back of it and looked at me.

“Anyway,” I said, reaching up and pulling my hair behind my ears. “He was a street racer. You know, illegal stuff. It’s nothing like what you do. Those people are just idiots. It turned out she had started to ride alongside of him when he raced. I begged her not to do it, told her she was nuts, you know, because she had Simon.”

I paused and looked away from Dyson.

“We used to fight about it. But, she just never listened. And then, one night, she never came home. Simon was still little when she died.”

Dyson reached towards me, rubbing my shoulder. I turned to look at him. The familiar heat returned to my eyes but I shook my head, holding off the tears, at least for now.

“My mother blamed me for it. Can you believe that?” I paused again, dropping my hands in my lap. “I tried to explain I’d told her to stay away from Shane, but my mother, she wasn’t well. She drank. Took drugs. It wasn’t long after my sister died the booze and pills took her from me also.”

I shrugged, not fully believing I’d shared the story with him. Dyson waited until I’d finished for a few seconds before he spoke again.

“What was your sister’s name?”

“Bella,” I whispered. “She really was a sweet person, just young and naïve.”

“Does Simon know what happened to her?”

I swallowed hard and shook my head. “No. I mean, he was so little when she died, how do you explain that? We just told him Mommy went to heaven. I’d always planned on telling him someday. He’s never asked about it.”

Dyson squeezed my shoulder and rubbed it a bit. “I’m really sorry, Ava. I had no idea. I can see why you’d be concerned about me, especially when Darren is out there screaming at me.”

I looked back at him. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known anyway. I know that you’re not trying to get yourself killed. It’s just that I…”

My voice trailed off. Dyson sat forward. Still looking into my eyes, he said, “I’m glad that you care. It means a lot.”

I smiled at him a little but before I could reply, he reached towards my hair and ran his fingers through it, pulling it away from my face with a gentle swipe. Without speaking, he leaned in, and with his other hand, he cradled my chin in the palm of it.

I swallowed hard.

AVA

As my head moved towards him, he cradled my chin in his hands and angled my mouth upwards. I froze, staring into his eyes through the blurry remnants of tears in my own, still present from moments earlier.

Dyson curled his fingers under, drawing my mouth closer. He lingered there for a moment, close enough that I felt puffs of heat from his open lips beating against mine. And then, after a final slide of his tongue across his mouth, Dyson pressed his lips against mine.

Unlike his aggressive kiss at the track, this came slow and tender, made even more so by the suppleness of his lips. His tongue glided inside of my mouth, delighting me with its silky feel and subtle strokes.

Dyson’s hands pivoted from my chin. Cradling my cheeks, he consumed me, kissing me with an ever increasing intensity. I eased into his embrace, leaning my body against his and savoring the affection gone missing from my life for far too long.

I inhaled, taking the scent of him into my nose and mouth, sweet, yet masculine.  I hadn’t realized how deeply I’d developed a craving for him. Soft smacks from our lips and moist swishes from our tongues echoed in the intimate space between us.

After a few more moments, Dyson’s hands drifted away from my face and began to glide down the sides of my torso to my hips, where he held me and pulled my body to his entirely.

When he did, I felt the hardness between his thighs. He reached his hands around behind me, grinding his pelvis into mine, leaving no question about his intention. My eyes fluttered open and closed, beyond my ability to control them. I sensed what little resistance I had slip, and then he leaned into me, pushing me back with a steady force. I wanted, more than anything, to reach down and free him, touch him…
taste him
.

Arching my lower back, I pressed my hips against his rock-hard bulge and groaned. Without thinking, I snaked my hand down between Dyson’s legs, cupping his crotch and filling my palm with the largest cock I’d ever felt. Need raged inside of me, and I was almost to the point of no return when a fleeting thought occurred to me.

I stopped, let go of him and leaned away. Gasping for breath, my entire body on fire, I tried my best to put any distance between us I could. If I didn’t do it, and do it soon, I’d surrender what little resolve I had to him, and there would be nothing I could do about it.

I reached up and pressed my palm flat against Dyson’s chest.

“Dyson, I…”

He looked at me, slowing his breath. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

I lowered my head, looking away from him.

“I need to know what this means.”

Dyson remained silent. After another second or two, he moved towards my face and began to pepper my cheek with soft, tender smacks. The feel of his lips against my skin sent tingles down the back of my neck.

“Please Dyson,” I whispered, nuzzling him. “I need to know before I start something that I won’t be able to stop.”

Dyson kissed me a couple of more times, eventually moving up to my ear, where he paused and whispered in return, “Why would you want to stop?”

I reached towards the side of Dyson’s face and twisted small strands of his hair between the tips of my fingers for a moment.

“I’m… afraid.”

While the words left my lips, he paused and leaned away from me.

“What are you afraid of, Ava?”

What was I afraid of? Where do I even start? I was scared of him getting killed, scared of being another hookup for him, but more than anything, scared of what being with him would mean for Simon. I wanted to relax, let myself go, enjoy it and be free but I just couldn’t.

I couldn’t.

While Dyson waited for me to say something, I decided it would be best if I left. My entire body was on fire, yearning to give in to him, the heat between my thighs the worst of all, to the point of being almost unbearable.

“I-I really think I should just go, Dyson,” I stammered. “I’m sorry.”

Dyson furrowed his brow. “Go? Why?”

“I just should.”

“Ava,” he began, exasperation creeping into his tone. “Why are you so afraid of me? I thought you just told me you trusted me, like ten minutes ago.”

“I did, I mean, I do. But… this is something completely different. It’s hard to explain.”

“What is it? Anastasia and Svetlana?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Is it about the kid? Simon? About what I said about not wanting to be with women that had kids?”

I swallowed hard, looking away from him. “Yes.”

Dyson didn’t say a word, but instead eased back into the couch. I turned and looked at him.

“I’m not upset with you, okay, Dyson? I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. I appreciate you being honest with me about how you feel, but I can’t risk having Simon hurt. Not ever, but especially not right now.”

Dyson listened intently, keeping his eyes focused on me while I spoke.

“And so, you just automatically assume that I’m going to what… Ava? Fuck you and kick you out, never talk to you again, is that it?”

I exhaled.

“It sounds worse than it is. I didn’t mean to say that you…”

“You know, Ava, I’m single. So are you,” he began, interrupting me. “I know you think I’m just, like… this player. But believe it or not, I do have rules. One of them is not to get involved with women that have kids because it can get complicated and messy…”

“I already know that, Dyson,” I said, interrupting him in return. “I don’t have a problem with that, really it’s just…”

“Let me finish, Ava. Now that you’ve completely ruined the mood, you may as well listen to what I have to say.”

I nodded, disgusted with myself all of a sudden. He did have a point.

“I’m sorry, Dyson, you’re right.”

He remained silent for a moment.

“Okay. The point is that my rules work for me. Women aren’t confused about who I am. The thing about rules though, Ava, is that they’re made to be broken. Look, I can’t and I won’t promise anything.”

He paused and gestured towards the exit.

“You’re free to walk out that door right now. No hard feelings. I really mean that.”

I exhaled a shaky breath and looked at him but didn’t speak.

“I also mean this…” he began, staring into my eyes. “Since the very first instant I saw you, I wanted you. That hasn’t changed. And yeah, one hundred percent of the time I would not pursue you, because of Simon.”

I started to say something when he raised his index finger, stopping me.

“Nothing is guaranteed except what we have right now, this instant. So, I’m going to leave it up to you. But I don’t want to
talk
anymore, Ava. I want you, right now. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

With that, he went silent, leaned back in the couch, looking at me without blinking for a few long seconds.

The truth was, I didn’t want to talk anymore either. I hated having to talk about this at all.

I shook my head.

“Dyson, I’m sorry. I never should’ve led you on. I hope you can forgive me and not be angry with me.”

Dyson shrugged.

“Ava, I’m not angry with you,” he said, nodding with his chin towards the door.  “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

When Dyson began to stand, I broke my gaze on him and reached for my purse on the floor nearby. After picking it up, I stood and drew my eyes up to the sight of him right in front of me.

The corners of his mouth rounded with a warm smile.

I smiled back at him.

“We’re good, right?” he asked, nodding at me.

I smiled and nodded back at him in return. “Yes.”

He stepped towards me. When he did, Dyson’s scent drifted into my nose, testing my weakness. And in that moment, looking into his eyes, I felt pushed to my limit.